|15-02-2007, 01:53 AM||#1|
Join Date: Feb 2007
Likes: 1 (1 Post)
What is Evil
John de Ruiter
What is Evil
Q: What is this battle or force of evil that attempts to separate, hurt, and destroy?
A: The earth plane is being mined by another existing dimension that has given up on its own source, the source of Truth.
For that dimension to be able to do anything with itself it needs an alternative source of energy.
The earth plane is in a state of not-awakened ignorance. As consciousness, we have no idea what we are. As consciousness, we have a capacity for energy output that is infinite and as such, we are ignorant as to what we are. And that makes us an available resource for energy. We can be tapped. As consciousness we can be mined.
The mining process that’s used by this other dimension is tension, tension and pressure. As consciousness, while we are existing inside of this tension, inside of this pressure, while being mined as consciousness, we are like a sphere. There's this incredible highly intelligent form of tension that is introduced around us like a pressure that brings about a tremendous discomfort.
The pressure is felt most by the outer most aspect of you as consciousness. In as much as you react to this tension, and react to this pressure, that reaction is like an output of energy that you give in that reaction and it’s that energy that is being sought after.
When you react to the tension you give away what you are. It’s that energy that's available for use.
When you don’t react to the tension, when you don’t react to the pressure, and you continue to simply be what you are, then what the tension and pressure does is still cause a squeeze, and it still causes a release, but the release comes from the innermost. There's an output of energy that takes place within your innermost being and that energy is released into you within the sphere of what you are as consciousness. That energy isn’t released outside of you. It is released inside of you. As that energy is released inside of you, through this tension and through this pressure, you are actually acquainted just a little bit to what you really are. You begin to awaken; you begin to find out more deeply what really is.
You lose just a tiny little bit of your ignorance because with that squeeze that takes place and that release of energy from your innermost being, there is a tiny measure of realisation that takes place. A deeper realisation of what is a profound realisation of what you are.
You actually begin to integrate yourself in the midst of that tension and in the mist of that squeeze.
This other dimension has taken the earth plane and immersed the earth plane in itself, so there's no escape from this tension. One of the ways it creates and manifests tension is that this dimension takes its own inner makeup that it was thriving in and living in Truth, it takes its own inner makeup and distorts it and it creates a pull on your inner makeup. There's a resonance within that there’s something there that is true, a matching that takes place. It's actually provoking an awakening in you.
It's touching something inside of you that you’re yet ignorant of. But it is touched in such a way that the touch isn’t calculated for you to stay inside of what you are. The touch is calculated to pull you outside of what you are. To be something that has a resonance of truth. That is why it creates an attraction and a pull. What it's drawing you to be is what you are, everything of what you really, really are; but, for you to be that in a way that’s not true. When you are being what you really, really are in a way that's not true, then you become an incredible energy source, constantly giving away what you are.
You’re producing energy. You’re manifesting energy and that’s what this dimension is wanting from you. When there is an energy output from you, this dimension gets to move. It has an energy to live by, an energy to feed on.
In as much as you as this sphere of consciousness that is immersed in that tension, immersed in that dimension - a dimension of incredibly complex form of practiced intelligence, no longer lives in a way of being that is true, it will show you how to be, it will show you how to use what you have and what you are by pulling you outside of your self, using and touching existing patterns in you that are really true, but you haven’t integrated these patterns. You do not know how to use these patterns; you do not know how to be with these patterns, all of which exist inside of you. It’s the tension that touches these patterns and pulls on these patterns, invigorates them, but for a reason that is not true.
If you don’t give your energy away, if you don’t give you away to this tension and to this pressure, then you'll awaken.
If you give away what you are as you react to the tension you will also become awakened to what you are. But that kind of awakening will destroy you. It will destroy you because you will respond to being what you are and exercising yourself - functioning from the inside out, but only as a reaction and not as you being what you are. So it will take you into a state of distortion.
You will be hurting your self and you’ll be an amazing source of energy.
That influence that you are immersed in, that tension you are immersed in, that's what evil is. When you react to it you become just like it.
When you simply remain as is, surrendering not to what's happening to you but surrendering to what you are, then there will be an incredible movement of energy that stays inside of you and it takes you into something like a birthing process. And what is birthed in you as consciousness is your innermost and that birthing of the innermost is brought right to the outer most and all of the energy that is produced, which is huge, stays within.
As that energy is produced and stays within, and the innermost is manifested right through to outer most, and as this sphere of consciousness you begin to expand. The more you integrate what you really are the greater the expansion, and the more sensitive you become to this tension.
The more you expand as consciousness, the more you will actually attract this tension because your capacity as a resource for energy output will be the greatest - because now there is already a high level of movement of energy that is taking place.
The more you expand as consciousness the higher the energy that can be mined from you.
So the most advanced attention of this tension you're immersed in, the most advanced form of it will be focused on you. You then become the most important source to be mined.
There is another reason that you become an important source to be mined, and that’s as you begin to integrate what you are, your ignorance passes and you are actually gaining understanding; you actually begin to understand what is happening. When you begin to understand what it is that is happening then there's a seeing of consciousness inside of this dimension that you are immersed in, of tension, an intelligence of tension. Now you can see and the intelligence inside this dimension needs that you don’t see what is happening. It's important that this dimension remains completely unseen.
The way that it keeps itself unseen is by manifesting confusion so that you’ll think somehow that it is you or that it is others. When you start to become awakened and you start to integrate what you are as consciousness and you become aware of what is happening - the bigger picture of what is really happening, then you become a threat. So you are not only a highly valued source to be mined, if your energy will react or squeeze out you become the most important source to try and mine, and you become a focus that also needs to be shut down.
And there's a tension within this dimension as to which way to go with you and it’s a tension that can’t be resolved, because the energy that you are capable of putting out is so irresistible, because that energy is so high, and yet the threat you are to this dimension is also so high and the intelligence within this dimension cannot resolve this tension, so the focus on you is perpetual.
The way to be inside of this is easy.
Even though it is very painful and very uncomfortable, the way of being is so easy. You just be what you are – you just be what you honestly are which is not a reaction but a response to your innermost.
Dishonestly within perpetuates the confusion. Honesty within removes all confusion and you’re left being as is; you’re left being what you are. And you’re being sustained by your innermost being - the very source of what makes you, you.
The tension of what this dimension is and what it is exerting on the earth plane is clearly manifested into form. It is manifested into form in every form of tension that can be seen. Inner tension, community tension, national tension - many, many different levels of tension. It's all brought to bear on what we are as consciousness on the earth plane.
What's happening here is not a threat to Truth. It is not even a threat to what you are - because you have everything within. There's a way of being within that is present. It continually shows you what really, really is, and how to be.
This manifestation of evil as a dimension is not a problem. It makes everything very difficult for you as consciousness and is really not a problem.
It's not worth addressing; it’s not worth fixing. It's only really worth being inside of because that's what presently is.
And what will happen is that you will definitely awaken and your actual potential will start to come through, your potential as consciousness. When you awaken through reacting your awakening will be your own destruction. When you awaken through just simply being what you are and your innermost is squeezed within you and brought to touch every part of you right to the outer most - that will awaken you too because of the tension that is brought to bear on you. Then you won’t be destroying yourself, you’ll actually be expanding and being continually birthed into what you really, really are in a way that’s true.
What makes you live inside and flourish inside in the midst of this is just very, very simple: okayness. The only thing that can make you squeeze out and give away what you are is for you to, in the very simplest way, simply be not ok.
It's that not ok energy dressed that's what you are. That's the energy that is being mined. And as tension will work with all of your surface bodies, this tension will manifest itself in the highest form of intelligence, going inside of your surface bodies and touching existing patterns of Truth that have not yet awakened and provoke these patterns to stir, but to get them to stir as a reaction and not a response to itself. So then your surface bodies will be integrated in a way that’s not true. They will be integrated in a way that they are provoked to be integrated instead of drawn from within with integration - integrated through beingness instead of integrated through reaction. And you will begin to discover your own intelligence but you’ll use it to react, so you’ll be giving your self away.
Q: Is the key here not reacting? It’s like walking a tightrope?
A: It’s walking that tightrope but it’s walking that tightrope in being and not reacting and it's doing so not to alleviate tension, but it's doing so because this is simply what you are and when that's what’s there, then it is no longer walking a tightrope. Then you can walk anywhere you want to inside and you cannot miss. It’s easy.
Q: I feel the tension that you are talking about and yesterday I experienced it in a way that felt like a piercing. I didn’t know or really understand it. I just knew that it was there. And I just sat there with it.
A: What I am doing is also touching the very same patterns that the tension touches, but I'm touching all of these patterns with a way of being that is true. So it's like peace or love touching those patterns, which also causes a very powerful awakening.
And it also really makes a mess of what this dimension is trying to do. It's hindering the mining process. It's removing the ignorance and that will make the tension even worse.
Q: The constant tension is for my focus to be within, in my being, and not to go outside of it.
A: To be within isn’t to be introspective, or to dig inside. To be within is to be what you are, which is a way. It’s not being inside, it’s not insideness. It is a way; a way of being that is true. It’s a way of being that is non reactive and highly responsive. It's the responsiveness, of openness and softness, which really pulls out right from your innermost being everything that you really are. It nourishes what you are and it also provokes what you are.
It is the way of self awakening.
Q: I’m having a hard time understanding how you stop reacting in a situation that's highly tense.
A: Just with okayness
Q: What if there’s a lot of fear there?
A: The only reason that there would be fear in this situation is because you are hanging on to something that doesn’t belong to you and what you’re hanging onto is in the midst of that tension, so then you're threatened. Your hangingness of what you’re holding inside of that tension is threatened. If you’re ok with that tension taking away what it is that you're hanging onto there won't be any fear.
Q: In some situations it seems that things happen so fast that it’s hard to just turn things off.
A: In that sense you're always and continually being set up. Whatever it is that you're holding onto there’s this intelligence that’s moving this tension about you like a web and it waits until you’re in a moment that you are most fragile and the web is brought to just tighten around you. And when you’re left inside holding onto it and when that web tightens around you, you hang in even tighter. And that web can shrink on you so fast, when the time is right, that if you’re in a state of hanging on you will most likely really react.
Q: The specific incident that I am thinking of happened when I met somebody like you a long time ago and he was saying the same things. I was trying to do this thing that you’re speaking of and something happened to me, something supernatural. And it wasn’t pleasant at all. It scared me to death, literally.
So, in those kinds of situations, is that something that I set myself up for, that scenario? Was that me doing that?
A: You set up a scenario like that by opening and softening; opening up inside in a way that’s big. And that kind of opening has to be stopped. When it’s that kind of opening then you become a threat to the mining process.
Q: Yes. It was trying to stop me.
A: And when it tries to stop you, it will take its mask off, which it doesn’t like to do, but it’s one of the ways that can really try to stop you.
Q: It did. It stopped me cold.
A: Yeah. It will overtly try to stop you, it will take its mask off, which it doesn’t like to do, but it’s one of the ways that can really try to stop you. What will stop you is fear.
Q: How do you deal with that?
A: By being unconditionally and warmly ok with letting this being that has just taken its mask off and is coming straight at you to utterly devour you and destroy you with a power that is huge. For you to be unconditionally and warmly ok with being destroyed and devoured. And when you are just simply ok with that, then that being can do nothing. Because all it is is just a projection. It’s manifesting this huge illusion that’s calculated to touch every single pattern inside of you and to bring it to life through fear. And if you don’t want to be destroyed and if you don’t want to be consumed, then this projection will work; you’ll shut down. And then the mining process continues. The more deeply you go into real awakening, the more overt these hits will become. Because it’s really important that awakening stops.
Q: I think I need some help, because I’ve known this is going on but never had it explained to me. I see that when the energy gets really intense, I close down. When I close it’s really hard to open again. And I am having trouble not closing. When do you know you’re over your head, or when it’s too much?
A: It never is. There’s no such thing.
Q: Why does it feel that way?
A: Because this tension is introduced inside of your surface bodies; this tension is calculated to squeeze the life out of you. Squeeze your energy out of you. All you have to do is react.
Q: This is a shocking realisation because I never knew the stakes were so high.
A: The stakes are higher than anything you can possibly comprehend. The picture is so much bigger than what you’re beginning to realise just a little bit right now.
Q: So when I feel that energy starting to tighten, what should I do?
A: Just be ok with being tightened on. Just open up inside of it and let that tightening do whatever it wants to. You can be open in the midst of that tightening which really lets the tightening in. You become incredibly vulnerable to that tightening. You become vulnerable and raw to that tension and that creates a tension inside of you, which is an amazing tension because it pulls out what’s inside of your innermost being to bring about a healing inside. Your innermost being will always compensate in a way that’s true. It will always provide itself to you so that you can be ok and vulnerable and raw in the midst of this tension that’s squeezing you, trying to make you be something that you’re not; trying to make you react just so it can have your energy.
Q: There must be some way you can get them off your case.
When you begin to really awaken and completely open up inside and be unprotected they will get on your case more than ever. Because now you have better energy to get, higher energy to get and you’re also becoming a threat that needs to be dealt with. So this tension will only ever get bigger, not less, until you die.
There’s a real awakening that’s being provoked_ you’re actually being awakened out of ignorance. Discovering what you are through pressure, discovering the depth of okayness that you are in the midst of that tension. The most awesome way of being inside of that tension of you as consciousness, being in a way that’s true, is just like that scene in brave heart when he’s laying on the table and being opened up and just being as is and not doing anything to try and save himself, just being unprotected and vulnerable; and not selling out on what he is. That’s how you be. And being like that is what you are and anybody can be like that. And the influences that were brought to bear on him, all they wanted from him was his energy. They wanted a certain kind of reaction, they wanted something inside of him to come out their way and he let that energy stay inside of him in a way he knew was true. The tension itself could not have been alleviated regardless of which way he would respond or react, there was no way out. There was nothing he could do to save himself. He didn’t need to.
The tensions that we’re immersed in are just like that, there’s no way out. There’s nothing that will stop it. Your effort to stay the tension is you giving away what you are.
Q: Is there anyway to prepare our heart or remove the obstacles that keep us from being our highest self?
A: That’s giving your energy away because you don’t need to be your highest self. That’s just being your highest self so that you can move the blocks inside that make the tension realised to be uncomfortable.
Q: So we never get healed, we never repair?
A: You only repair when that tension is allowed to go anywhere inside of you and do anything to you that it wants. When you’re ok with being disregard then that awakens your innermost to move inside of you and repair you.
Q: I feel myself and a lot of people have tried to surrender as much as possible to release ourselves to this transformation you are talking about.
Q: Because there is no other way to be happy.
A: That is why it doesn’t work.
Q: So we’re not trying to be happy?
A: That is right! Just be ok as is.
It’s not extending yourself outwards to stop something because it’s affecting your happiness. If anything it’s the opposite - it’s completely opening up to what is and what is is allowed to go inside and do anything that it wants to. Even permanently ruin your happiness. And it’s your capacity to let that in and just be as is that your own innermost being responds inside of you and there’s a happiness of being that you get to be what you are even in the state of unhappiness. That works.
Q: When we reach states of freedom using alternate methods of consciousness, these states are not the highest flowering of our consciousness. How do they relate to our progress and cultivation?
A: Makes it worse. You become awakened in a way that’s untrue. Anytime you employ a technique, you’re a sucker. Anytime you don’t employ any kind of technique and simply be as is and unconditionally ok with what’s happening to you inside then you’re being real and real is awake in a way that is true. Real works; techniques don’t.
|02-03-2007, 05:41 AM||#3|
Join Date: Jan 2007
Likes: 0 (0 Posts)
great article, bluestar!
that's a very tantric approach. what we resist we feed. what we embrace we transcend. being embraced, it is fulfilled, and asks no more. it leaves willingly, maybe to return briefly, but always as a visitor, never a tenant.
i can witness for this method. to make a long story short, i "killed" my father (it was in a workshop, not really murder, silly!). within all this pressure, anger, betrayal and fear, there arose a presence, absolutely fascinated and welcoming, joyful even, in the midst of all my grief. i threw my whole being into the fire; i understood that if i withheld anything, i was damned forever. in that moment, fully becoming that anger was the most important thing in the world. i was being devoured by my own rage. but in that presence, nothing mattered. i would have gladly fed my body to that anger, knowing i was already home, indeed, had never left.
when i "snapped" back--and it almost felt like being shot from a giant slingshot back into the personality-- the contrast betwen the presence and who i previously believed myself to be stood out in stark detail. this experience changed my life in ways that are only now becoming apparent, over 10 years later.
it was only for a brief time, and has not returned with the same intensity since, but i understand beyond a shadow of a doubt that it was real; in fact, it's the only reality. in my dark times since, i've thought about that moment when i first became aware of it many times. it is my rock.
this all might seem like a betrayal to some, an act of cowardice, an act of surrender.
sometimes when we lose, we win. the first shall be last and the last shall be first.
is the body even important, then? yes, because the body never lies. only the mind lies (the rational-lies). once the body has tasted this oneness, and been a part of its emergence, it will move heaven and earth to re-live this feeling again and again. the body is my ally, in a very real shamanic sense; i trust it.
please, trust it.
Last edited by tru3; 02-03-2007 at 05:56 AM.