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Old 10-02-2014, 01:08 AM   #21
iamawaveofthesea
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rbl_4nik8r View Post
Which God would that be the Muslim God ? the Jewish God ? the Christian God ? or anyone of the hundreds of other God's out there for one to believe in ?


I really don't see what the big deal is mankind has been modifying his body for hundred of thousands of years with tattoo's, piercings, head wrappings, neck elongation, and protruding lips just to name a few. Borneo has tribes thats been doing genital piercings for about as long as circumcisions have been going on as have many other cultures through out the world.

I really don't believe someone recalls or feels they have been traumatized by a circumcisions when it was done a few hours after birth, that smells like a total bullshit story. Granted it could be looked at as early child abuse, but I rather have it done when I don't recall shit with what is going on in this fucked up world, then have it done when I am 13. Then you have the blow job factor, I have known many of women in my life time that would never go down on a guy thats not circumcised, yes I know some that will, but I rather not find out if they will or wont because I had mine done some 50 years ago and I don't recall shit and it works just fine.
I think the point is that people should have the choice of whther they want to modify their body or not...the choice here is being taken off them

I think some people also claim that it can leave a psychological scar on a young person undergoing pain so early
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Old 10-02-2014, 01:42 AM   #22
swamideva
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It is said that western parenting is basically abusive. It is getting better, children are not beaten wholesale like in the past. When "spare the rod, spoil the child" was the order of the day.

This book explains how children deal with abuse, whether, physical, enotional or sexual it all is just as damaging to a developing child. "Give me a child until he is seven and I will give you the man" is very true.


This review is from: The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self (Paperback)
Alice Miller's "Drama Of The Gifted Child," was originally published as "Prisoners Of Childhood; The Drama Of The Gifted Child," in 1981. I read the book over 20 years ago, and recently reread it. I find that it is just as relevant, wise and perceptive today as it was then. Ms. Miller was a practicing psychoanalyst, who gave up her work with patients to write books, for the layperson, primarily dealing with early childhood abuse. In a new Forward, Miller continues to disavow psychoanalysis. Although I am not in agreement with her on this, she continues to be one of my heroes.

Ms. Miller, who writes an elegant and easily understandable prose, discusses here the issue of children raised by a narcissistic parent(s). She explains that this book is not about high I.Q. children, but about those who were able to survive an abusive childhood because they developed an adequate defense system. At a very early age the child intuitively apprehends the parent's needs. Since the parent, especially the mother, is the child's soul source of survival, the child strives to please, fearing disapproval, or abandonment. Thus, the child sublimates his needs for the parent's. Roles reverse and the child frequently takes on the parent's responsibility as emotional caregiver. This impedes the growth of a child's true identity, and a "loss of self" frequently occurs. The child adapts by not "feeling" his own needs, and develops finely tuned antennae, focusing intensely on the needs of the all important other. Ms. Miller writes, "An abused child, (emotionally), does not know it is being abused, and in order to survive and avoid the unbearable pain, the mind is provided with a remarkable mechanism, the 'gift' of 'repression,' which stores these experiences in a place outside of consciousness." Although, later in life, these "prohibited" feelings and needs cannot always be avoided, they remain split off and the most vital part of the true self is not integrated into the personality. The results are often depression, and tremendous insecurity.

Alice Miller makes her readers aware of the unexpressed sufferings of the child and the tragedy of the parent(s) own illness. As she frequently states, "any parent who abuses a child," knowingly or otherwise, "has himself been severely traumatized in his childhood, in some form or another."

Gifted children are often the products of emotional abuse by a narcissistic parent. However, if the child's great need for admiration is not met, for his/her looks, intelligence or achievements, he/she falls into severe depression. Miller says one can only be free from depression "when self-esteem is based on the authenticity of one's own feelings and not on the possession of certain qualities."

Children need a great deal of both emotional and physical support from the adult. According to Miller, this adult support must include the following elements in order for a child to develop to his or her full potential: "Respect for the child; respect for his rights; tolerance for his feelings; willingness to learn from his behavior."

Miller also writes about the "origins of grandiosity as a form of denial and its relationship with depression." Another interesting chapter deals with the "process of parental derision" and how it results in humiliation and possible psychic trauma of the child.

Alice Miller's extraordinary book, along with consistent psychoanalytic psychotherapy, has assisted many to understand their past, modify behavior, forgive, and finally, best of all, to heal. I cannot recommend "The Drama Of The Gifted Child" highly enough.
JANA

Last edited by swamideva; 10-02-2014 at 01:43 AM.
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Old 11-02-2014, 02:24 PM   #23
dolores1
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Their G-D was wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



D
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The ‘you’ that exists beyond these stubborn entanglements is a silent, serene, being-ness; a free, wise and child-like ‘you’ that has always known the way to the secret garden, and that has always recognised the nature beings with whom we share this gracious planet.

Never have a battle of wits with an unarmed oponent!
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