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Old 23-03-2008, 03:50 PM   #1
dangermouse
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Default Disney caused 911

The REAL 911 Conspiracy
November 8th, 2007 · 18 Comments


By Chris Cameron

Listen up all you 911 Truthers, the time has come to reveal who was really behind the conspiracy behind the horrific events of September 11, 2001.

It was not the government. Please, they run the IRS and the DMV. Giving someone a license is pretty basic and look how easily they screw that up. Professional mathematicians can’t understand the US Tax Code. The government excels only in incompetence.

It was not Al Qaeda. Well, maybe they were the ones that carried it out but they were hired hands. Who do you think bought them?

It was Disney. The super corporation that stands for shoving fun and Hannah Montana down our collective throats was behind it all. Speaking of Hannah Montana, when does she turn eighteen? I want to mark that day on my calendar so that I know when impure thoughts about her are legal to have running through my devious mind many would call a gutter.

Where the hell was I?

Ah yes, Disney was the mastermind behind 911.

You may ask “how can a nice friendly mouse kill thousands of people and basically ramp up the rise of radical Islam?” Or maybe “what the hell are you smoking?” To which I would reply, “Perfectly legal cigarettes.”

It all began in the late 90’s. Disney had it all. They were in all the malls in America. They had theme parks in California, Florida, and even France. The “I Surrender” ride was a big hit over there, but the rest of the park - not so much.

They had a vast library of films, mostly ones that followed the same plot line: parents get killed and the main character’s conflict directly relates to that past event. They started up their own cable channel and even had a sports team with a really stupid name, the Mighty Ducks.

But was this enough for Eisner? Apparently not, he wanted more, and in 2000 an evil plot was hatched. Bin Laden was already planning an attack on the United States but he was lacking in the business sense. His group wanted to blow up government buildings, but Osama knew there was something missing in the plan.

While on a tour of Euro Disney, Eisner reached out to Bin Laden and persuaded him to target the World Trade Center in order to topple an icon of financial and commercial success of the United States. He saw this as his opportunity for expansion of the Disney brand name, and a means to an end.

With the World Trade Center removed as that icon, there would need to be something to replace it that would be equal in symbolism. What better way to do this then with a Disney Theme Park right in Manhattan?

The dragging of the feet on the memorial is just Disney’s attorneys slowing down the process enough so that Eisner can buy the land and begin construction on Disney NYC.

Six years later the land where the World Trade Center stood remains undeveloped and Mickey Mouse is now being marketed to extreme Islam.

Coincidence? I think not!
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Old 23-03-2008, 06:32 PM   #2
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That was probably one of the funniest things I've read in a long time. That bit about hannah montanna too.
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Old 23-03-2008, 11:11 PM   #3
dangermouse
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Quote:
Originally Posted by michaelacookii View Post
That was probably one of the funniest things I've read in a long time. That bit about hannah montanna too.




It wasnt mine im afraid i thought i linked it but apparently not
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Old 24-03-2008, 03:47 AM   #4
xxdinoxkarenxx
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dangermouse View Post
The REAL 911 Conspiracy
November 8th, 2007 · 18 Comments


By Chris Cameron

Listen up all you 911 Truthers, the time has come to reveal who was really behind the conspiracy behind the horrific events of September 11, 2001.

It was not the government. Please, they run the IRS and the DMV. Giving someone a license is pretty basic and look how easily they screw that up. Professional mathematicians can’t understand the US Tax Code. The government excels only in incompetence.

It was not Al Qaeda. Well, maybe they were the ones that carried it out but they were hired hands. Who do you think bought them?

It was Disney. The super corporation that stands for shoving fun and Hannah Montana down our collective throats was behind it all. Speaking of Hannah Montana, when does she turn eighteen? I want to mark that day on my calendar so that I know when impure thoughts about her are legal to have running through my devious mind many would call a gutter.

Where the hell was I?

Ah yes, Disney was the mastermind behind 911.

You may ask “how can a nice friendly mouse kill thousands of people and basically ramp up the rise of radical Islam?” Or maybe “what the hell are you smoking?” To which I would reply, “Perfectly legal cigarettes.”

It all began in the late 90’s. Disney had it all. They were in all the malls in America. They had theme parks in California, Florida, and even France. The “I Surrender” ride was a big hit over there, but the rest of the park - not so much.

They had a vast library of films, mostly ones that followed the same plot line: parents get killed and the main character’s conflict directly relates to that past event. They started up their own cable channel and even had a sports team with a really stupid name, the Mighty Ducks.

But was this enough for Eisner? Apparently not, he wanted more, and in 2000 an evil plot was hatched. Bin Laden was already planning an attack on the United States but he was lacking in the business sense. His group wanted to blow up government buildings, but Osama knew there was something missing in the plan.

While on a tour of Euro Disney, Eisner reached out to Bin Laden and persuaded him to target the World Trade Center in order to topple an icon of financial and commercial success of the United States. He saw this as his opportunity for expansion of the Disney brand name, and a means to an end.

With the World Trade Center removed as that icon, there would need to be something to replace it that would be equal in symbolism. What better way to do this then with a Disney Theme Park right in Manhattan?

The dragging of the feet on the memorial is just Disney’s attorneys slowing down the process enough so that Eisner can buy the land and begin construction on Disney NYC.

Six years later the land where the World Trade Center stood remains undeveloped and Mickey Mouse is now being marketed to extreme Islam.

Coincidence? I think not!
interesting
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