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Old 22-01-2016, 03:48 PM   #41
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Who was it on here the other day giving a list of "dead" people which included David Icke ? It was a weird post with no links to verify any of them. Can't find it now..
Not sure, but perhaps it's a candidate for this thread, as tasteless as it no doubt is.
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Old 05-02-2016, 11:51 AM   #42
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Cereal addict begs for help to cure his addiction

Evesham Journal, 1st of February 2016

A MAN is begging for help to overcome his addiction to cereal - munching a staggering 13 bowls a day topped with a whopping 138 spoons of sugar.

Phillip Patrick, aged 19, had a healthy and varied diet until he left home three years ago and slipped into bad habits.

Now the dad-of-one only eats cereal - mostly Weetabix and cornflakes - topped with an enormous pile of sugar, scheduling his binges around his favourite TV programmes.

Mr Patrick - who has eaten an estimated 14,235 bowls in three years - devours six boxes of cereal and 15 pints of milk a week and a 5kg bag of sugar every nine days.

He washes it all down with regular cups of tea - with six sugars.

His weight has soared by four stones in the past three years to an unhealthy 15 stone.

And his bizarre diet has left him with barely enough energy to walk up the stairs and he can't go out for dinner or eat meals with his family.

He is now appealing for help to conquer his addiction after it has cost him his pub job and experts warned it could cause him to develop cancer or heart disease.

He said: "I know I'm still young but I'm not getting any younger and I need to be better for my son.

"I used to be quite an active lad, playing football, cycling and running.

"But now I've got no energy. I struggle to walk up the stairs because I'm so out of breath.

"It has become a habit now. It's part of my daily lifestyle. I've been doing it every day for three years.

"I need to get my life back - I could die from it."

Mr Patrick, from Worcester, started eating badly when he moved out of home and in with partner Sophie Richold, also 19.

Despite her healthy diet his new-found freedom saw him give up meals entirely in favour of cereal, as well as cups of tea - with six sugars in each drink.

He has two bowls in the morning - each piled high with 10 teaspoons of sugar - then four while he is watching The Bill, before another at 3pm and then 6pm.

Addicted Phillip has up to a further three during the evening - in between Emmerdale, Eastenders and Coronation Street - and then another before he goes to bed.

On an average day he consumes around 6,906 calories a day and has piled on around four stone in three years.

His carb and sugar overload saw him lose his job working in a bar last year because he didn't have the energy to stand up throughout his shift.

"It was really affected my life," he said.

"My sex life too - it used to be regular, but now it's a rare occurrence.

"Sophie gets annoyed at me because if we do go out for dinner I'll just have a fudge cake and be done in three minutes.

"I've tried to come off it a few times.

"The last time a couple of months ago I threw my sugar away and I only lasted two days.

"As soon as I saw a bag of sugar I had to buy it.

"I'm usually quite a patient person, and when I have sugar and cereal I'm quite happy.

"But in between bowls or if I can't have it I can be very, very moody.

"I need help to get my life back."

http://www.eveshamjournal.co.uk/news...his_addiction/

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Old 19-02-2016, 07:10 PM   #43
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'Unauthorised trousers' kill Canadian zoo's otter

BBC News, 18 February 2016

A Canadian zoo is under scrutiny following the death of an otter which had been given a pair of trousers to play with in its enclosure.

Logan, a 12-year-old American river otter, drowned at Calgary Zoo after being given the article of clothing as an "unauthorised enrichment item", the Calgary Sun newspaper reports.

The zoo's general curator, Colleen Baird, says Logan got trapped in one of the trouser legs, and two employees have subsequently been disciplined following an investigation into the incident.

"It was human error and we take animal deaths very seriously," she tells the paper, but refuses to be drawn on who was responsible. "It's irrelevant how exactly the pants got in there, it's more that the pants got in there in the first place."

"Enrichment items" are common in zoos, but they should be things which occur naturally in the animal's environment, Ms Baird says, and trousers don't fit the bill.

While the zoo says its animal care protocols "are among the most stringent in the industry", it has faced criticism over the otter's death.

Julie Woodyer, from animal welfare group Zoocheck, told Canadian broadcaster CBC: "It smacks of the kinds of things you might see at a roadside zoo, not in a professional operation."

It's not the first time that Calgary Zoo has experienced unfortunate incidents involving its animals. Among those highlighted by CBC were the 2013 death of a female penguin which swallowed a foot-long stick; and a spider monkey which died of frostbite after being left outside in cold weather.

In 2009, a gorilla was photographed wielding a knife which a keeper had inadvertently left in its enclosure, an incident the zoo described as "overblown" because gorillas don't understand the concept of using tools as weapons.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-news...where-35604300
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Old 19-02-2016, 09:20 PM   #44
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Decode - that was really quite depressing.
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Old 19-02-2016, 09:52 PM   #45
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Perverts Closely Monitoring Invisibility Cloak Developments





Scientists in the UK have demonstrated a flexible film that represents a big step toward the “invisibility cloak” made famous by Harry Potter, ensuring they have the undivided attention of perverts across the country.

The film contains tiny structures that together form a “metamaterial”, which can, among other tricks, manipulate light to render the man watching you in the shower completely invisible.

Greeting the news with a joyous smile, long-time pervert Pete Williams told us, “This is simply wonderful news, no longer will us perverts be forced to suffer verbal taunts such as ‘I’m calling the police’ or ‘get out of my garden’. They won’t even know we’re there.”

“I’m sure this will help create a whole new generation of perverts, those currently put off by the potential embarrassment of being caught in the act.”

“I believe this potential pool of new perverts is probably somewhere between 97% and 99% of the current male population.”

“Ask any man what he’d do if he had an invisibility cloak, and if he can’t instantly account for every single minute of the first six months, he’s lying. We’ve all planned it with military precision.”

“When I get mine all I can say is that Emma Watson better start spending her bathtime in a Burkha.”

Invisibility Cloak

Experts have warned that the military might need to wait for a few years before battle-ready versions of the technology are available for use on the front line.

Lead researcher Andrea Di Falco of St Andrews University, said “What we need to do is test the cloak in areas that are not life-threatening, like in the bedroom of Sheila Davis at number 24.”

“We have a list of 2.9 million volunteers willing to take part in field trials, and once that’s complete, in say fifty or sixty years, then the army can have it.”
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Old 19-02-2016, 10:06 PM   #46
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Cameron ‘Still Hopeful’ Door Won’t Hit Him On The Arse On The Way Out.


David Cameron has revealed that he hopes to avoid a door spanking his arse, as he inevitably fails to negotiate a way for Britain to stay in Europe.

“As was clear at the outset, I’ve set myself some really low expectations for these talks,” explained Cameron, “and now that I’m not achieving them, it’s time to aim a lot lower.”

After failing to win legal guarantees for any of the tiny reforms Cameron had dared to ask for so far, advisors were hoping to keep the slippers from his hotel room, and a half bottle of Pinot Grigio.

“Look, we’d all like a pillow chocolate, or the pot of mints they keep at reception,” roared Cameron.

“But the key to negotiating is to avoid asking for things that you know you’re not going to get.”

In an interview with the Telegraph, Cameron will reveal tomorrow that all he had hoped for was to eventually be allowed home, and to make it out of the exit without a bruised buttock.

“If you read carefully, that’s what I pledged in our manifesto,” claimed the PM.

“And I’m very glad to have achieved that 100%, disregarding the reddening where the door knob slightly got me.”
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Old 19-02-2016, 10:49 PM   #47
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More News










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Old 20-02-2016, 05:43 AM   #48
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Decode - that was really quite depressing.
"Those are the headlines. God, I wish they weren't."
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Old 08-03-2016, 11:00 AM   #49
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Anger as Southend bakery launches Hot Cross Buns WITHOUT ‘offensive’ cross

Southend News Network, MARCH 4, 2016

A bakery in Southend has upset a number of people in the local community by launching Hot Cross Buns WITHOUT a cross on them – the managing director has said that this ‘difficult decision’ was taken to ensure that nobody in the community gets offended by the cake over the next few weeks.

Michael Prove has been in charge of the Baker’s Cupboard on Hamlet Street since 2002, and he explained his decision to the Chief Reporter. He said: ‘We have produced thousands of Hot Cross Buns in the past without anybody getting upset, but 2016 has been very different. As soon as our traditional Hot Cross Buns went on sale last week, a maths teacher came in and demanded that we stop selling them as they can be rotated slightly, leaving an ‘X’ – he felt that the buns do not give out a clear signal about whether or not they are a ‘plus’ symbol or a ‘multiply’ symbol.’

He continued: ‘He accused us of confusing children who are just starting to truly understand the world of mathematics, and to be honest I told him in no uncertain terms that I wouldn’t be willing to remove the cross from the buns. He stormed out of the bakery shop area, and at closing time he came back with four other Maths teachers and they used baseball bats to smash everything up. I don’t want any more trouble in my shop, so regretfully we will no longer be putting crosses on our buns.’

Unfortunately, this isn’t the first time that fundamentalist maths teachers have gone on the rampage in Southend. Police were called to Southend seafront in 2013 when a group of them stormed Three Shells Beach and threw blankets over women sunbathing in bikinis. According to their ‘leader,’ a pair of contained breasts could be interpreted as a number ‘8’ that has been written the wrong way up, and so the action was necessary to ensure that child numeracy rates remained at an acceptable level in the area.

http://southendnewsnetwork.com/news/...fensive-cross/
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Old 08-03-2016, 11:14 AM   #50
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Anger as Southend bakery launches Hot Cross Buns WITHOUT ‘offensive’ cross

Southend News Network, MARCH 4, 2016

A bakery in Southend has upset a number of people in the local community by launching Hot Cross Buns WITHOUT a cross on them – the managing director has said that this ‘difficult decision’ was taken to ensure that nobody in the community gets offended by the cake over the next few weeks.

Michael Prove has been in charge of the Baker’s Cupboard on Hamlet Street since 2002, and he explained his decision to the Chief Reporter. He said: ‘We have produced thousands of Hot Cross Buns in the past without anybody getting upset, but 2016 has been very different. As soon as our traditional Hot Cross Buns went on sale last week, a maths teacher came in and demanded that we stop selling them as they can be rotated slightly, leaving an ‘X’ – he felt that the buns do not give out a clear signal about whether or not they are a ‘plus’ symbol or a ‘multiply’ symbol.’

He continued: ‘He accused us of confusing children who are just starting to truly understand the world of mathematics, and to be honest I told him in no uncertain terms that I wouldn’t be willing to remove the cross from the buns. He stormed out of the bakery shop area, and at closing time he came back with four other Maths teachers and they used baseball bats to smash everything up. I don’t want any more trouble in my shop, so regretfully we will no longer be putting crosses on our buns.’

Unfortunately, this isn’t the first time that fundamentalist maths teachers have gone on the rampage in Southend. Police were called to Southend seafront in 2013 when a group of them stormed Three Shells Beach and threw blankets over women sunbathing in bikinis. According to their ‘leader,’ a pair of contained breasts could be interpreted as a number ‘8’ that has been written the wrong way up, and so the action was necessary to ensure that child numeracy rates remained at an acceptable level in the area.

http://southendnewsnetwork.com/news/...fensive-cross/
The EDL have actually fallen for this and have posted it on the facefool site.

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Old 08-03-2016, 11:19 AM   #51
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The EDL have actually fallen for this and have posted it on the facefool site.

Silly people. Then again, they are quite gullible.
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Old 19-03-2016, 07:25 AM   #52
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Pringles to celebrate birthday with Olly Murs gig

1 March 2016, by Katie Deighton, Event Magazine

The celebrations will include an exclusive live gig with singer Olly Murs, which will take place on 19 May.

The brand will give 50 fans the chance to win two tickets to the performance each. Launching this month, the competition will be open for 50 days, with one winner picked each day.

Guests will also be able to meet Murs personally at the Pringles-branded live event.

A fully-integrated campaign including shopper, in-store, digital, radio and TV will promote the competition, while promotional videos featuring the singer will trail online and across Snapchat, Spotify and Facebook.

Pringles is working with Wolf Brand Experience to deliver the campaign.

Jon Reid, director of the agency, told Event: "The role of music and entertainment is crucial in creating campaigns and content that cut through. As Pringles is such an iconic brand, we needed to partner with one of the UK’s biggest entertainers - Olly Murs - to create the most awesome anniversary campaign and party."

More from Pringles: Pringles' giant Christmas tree returns to Spinningfields

In pictures: Pringles enlists Katie Price for world record attempt

Comment below to let us know what you think.
For more in-depth and print-only features, showcases and interviews with world-leading brands, don't miss the next issue of Event magazine by subscribing here.

Follow @dollydeighton

http://www.eventmagazine.co.uk/pring...rticle/1385503
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Old 26-03-2016, 05:33 PM   #53
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Japanese professor pushes for Hide and Seek at the Olympics

By Julian Ryall, The Telegraph

At 64, Yasuo Hazaki admits he may no longer have the speed of an Olympic athlete, but guile is as important an attribute in his chosen sport - competitive hide-and-seek - and he is lobbying for it be included in the 2020 Games

The International Olympic Committee is to announce the host city for the XXXII Olympiad at its meeting in Buenos Aires on Saturday, with Tokyo competing with Istanbul and Madrid for the right to host the largest sporting event in the world.

And Hazaki, a graduate of Nippon Sport Science University, believes Tokyo 2020 would be the perfect occasion for the Olympic community to embrace his chosen sport.

"I would like hide-and-seek to be one of the exhibition sports in 2020 and then it could become an official event at subsequent Olympics," Hazaki, a professor of media studies at Josai International University, told The Daily Telegraph.

Prof. Hazaki set up the Japan Hide-and-Seek Promotion Committee in 2010 and the organisation has around 1,000 members across the country. Many are university students, but the sport can be enjoyed by anyone, he emphasises.

"I want to encourage sport for all, meaning that anyone can take part, regardless of age, gender or ability," he said. "When you watch sport now, it's all about world-beating techniques and skills - fantastic dribbling, running or shooting skills in football, for example.

"But that's not sport for all," he said. "Hide-and-seek is a sport that anybody can play, from children as young as 4 years old to someone who is in their 80s."

The committee has set formal rules for competitive hide-and-seek, pitting two teams of seven players against each other in a 10-minute match. In the first five-minute half, one team is given two minutes to hide on a "pitch" that measures 65ft x 65ft . The opposing team then has to locate and touch the hiding players.

In the version for children under the age of 12, the pitch measures 55 feet x 88 feet.

One of the beauties of the sport is that it can be played pretty much anywhere, Prof. Hazaki said, although light woodland tends to offer the best opportunities for the hiding team. He has, however, staged competitions in gardens and even on beaches - a sporting experience that he described as "interesting."

Successful players generally have the ability to run very fast at the start of the game to put some distance between themselves and the seekers. Being able to identify a good hiding spot is obviously critical, as well as being able to keep very still. That becomes more difficult if the pitch has a lot of mosquitoes or other insects.

"We are trying to arrange games all across Japan so many people can play, to see how much fun it is and that anyone can play," Prof. Hazaki said.
"It may be difficult to get hide-and-seek into the Olympics - the IOC just kicked wrestling out, and that is a sport that has been around for a long time - but I see Tokyo 2020 as our big chance," he said.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worl...-Olympics.html
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Old 26-03-2016, 05:55 PM   #54
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We'll be having Swastika Eccles Cakes before we know it...
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Old 14-04-2016, 09:11 AM   #55
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Golf is no longer a crime, decrees China's Communist party

The Guardian: Tom Phillips in Beijing
Thursday 14 April 2016 06.20 BST


Teeing off is not a crime, the Communist party of China has decreed, lifting millions of fairway fanatics out of the rough.

Banned by Mao Zedong – who despised the “sport for millionaires” – golf enjoyed a renaissance during the 80s and 90s only to be outlawed for the party’s 85 million members in 2015 as a result of president Xi Jinping’s anti-corruption drive.

Articles in the party-controlled media have painted China’s golf courses as cauldrons of profiteering where the palms of rotten officials are greased by favour-seeking business people.

“The golf course is gradually changing into a muddy field where they trade money for power,” one state-run newspaper complained in 2015.

Party leaders appeared to step back from their condemnation of the game this week.

“Since it is only a sport, there is no right or wrong about playing golf,” an article in the Discipline Inspection and Supervision News, the official newspaper of China’s anti-corruption agency, declared.

The newspaper pointed to article 87 of the Communist party’s disciplinary regulations which deals with potential punishments for the illicit possession of golf membership cards.

“Can officials play golf while the nation steps up efforts to clamp down on corruption and promote austerity?” the China Daily asked. “The answer is yes - if they pay out of their own pockets.”

“Playing golf itself is not a wrongdoing,” the newspaper confirmed.

A report in the Global Times tabloid suggested the Communist party continued to harbour serious reservations about golf.

Su Wei, an academic at a school for Communist party cadres in Chongqing, told the newspaper Chinese golf course had become “an arena for corruption” where bribes were routinely offered to government officials.

“Golf can satisfy some officials’ vanity, corrupting their lifestyle, which can lead to damage to the Party’s image and the erosion of officials’ ability to serve,” Su was quoted sa saying.

China’s burgeoning golfing community is one of many to have been affected by president Xi’s bid to eradicate corruption.

Since he came to power some of the party’s most powerful figures have been thrown into jail including former security chief Zhou Yongkang and some of the most senior members of the People’s Liberation Army.

Speaking in January Xi used words straight from the clubhouse to announce his determination to cleanse China’s government.

“To forge iron,” he said, “one must be strong.”

http://www.theguardian.com/world/201...ommunist-party
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Old 07-05-2016, 07:28 AM   #56
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Israeli man seeks restraining order against God for not being nice

RT, 6 May 2016

An Israeli man has petitioned a court for a restraining order against God because He hasn’t been too nice to him lately.
David Shoshan, a resident of Haifa in northern Israel, told the city’s Magistrate’s Court Tuesday that God had been unduly cruel to him lately.

“For the past three years He started to treat me harshly and not nicely,” Shoshan told the judge, although no specifics of God’s cruelty towards him were detailed, according to Israeli news site NRG.

The court is only the latest port of call for Shoshan, who has has been trying get the police to grant him a restraining order for the past three years, but to no avail, reported The Times of Israel.

The police did, however, send a patrol car to his house on 10 occasions, but that apparently wasn’t enough for Shoshan.

Presiding Judge Ahsan Canaan denied Shoshan’s request, branding it “ludicrous” and telling the modern day Job that it wasn’t the court that he should be seeking help from, but some other institutions.

It’s unclear at this stage who represented God in court or, in fact, if He attended at all.

https://www.rt.com/viral/342025-isra...ourt-complain/
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Old 07-05-2016, 07:42 AM   #57
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Old 07-05-2016, 07:51 AM   #58
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Let me answer this one. Errrmmm.... No.
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Old 07-05-2016, 07:56 AM   #59
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Let me answer this one. Errrmmm.... No.
Richard III was no fool. He'd have parking sensors front and rear.
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Old 07-05-2016, 12:06 PM   #60
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Richard III was no fool. He'd have parking sensors front and rear.
Just remember, there are two Cromwell's....
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