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Old 02-11-2008, 07:14 PM   #1
cafetimes1991
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Exclamation Why Obama Will Lose the Election

Archive for the ‘Hicks in the sticks’ Category

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Reason #9: Republicans are robots
October 7, 2008

"This election? Oh, I'll probably just stick with these guys."
The two party system in this country encourages mindless voting based on party loyalty, but Democrats are notoriously fickle and ornery (as in the Hillary-loving, Obama-hating PUMAs) while Republicans love to close ranks against their enemies. Remember odious drinking straw and political pundit Anne Coulter claiming she’d support Hillary, her arch nemesis, if McCain got the nomination of her beloved party?

Didn’t happen.

Republicans are such robots that, regarding Sarah Palin, they have actually managed to convince themselves that up is down and ignorance is strength. When presented with a microphone the Republican Vox Populi Stultorum spontaneously begin to speak in talking points and obvious untruths.

I just heard a lady on NPR say that Sarah Palin has “really energized her” (talking point) and that she’s “just such a class act” (obvious untruth).

Actually Sarah “Tanning Bed In The Governor’s Mansion” Palin’s act being categorized as one of “class” is so offensively and hideously wrong that it utterly demolishes the mere true/false dichotomy of conventional logic and confirms the existence of an omnipotent deity.

Meanwhile a few exceptions like Christopher Buckley clearly describe how Republicanism in 2008 has almost no resemblance to the conservative principals espoused by it in the Reagan era. Take the war. Republicans were for it because Bush was for it. (Imagine how awful they’d be if Gore had started it - see Clinton/Bosnia for an example.) Now they’re for McCain because he’s for the war. See the circle? If not see Reason #1.

To sum up: these people would vote for the neighbor who poisoned their dog and fed it to them at a dinner party as long as he was a Republican.

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Reason #8: Unconscious racism
October 6, 2008

ABOVE: the official instruction card from the Alabama 2008 election ballot.
Nicholas Kristof makes a compelling argument that people who are not consciously racist often discriminate unconsciously.

Again, scary bad for Obama.
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Reason #7: Straight up racism
October 6, 2008

This public health poster, intended to help fight the scourge of inbreeding, was quickly cancelled thanks to "political correctness". Typical.
There’s is an unknown but large set of voters, most white, some hispanic, some otherwise, who will just not ever vote for a black man - not even a half vote for a half black man. They’ll even admit it if you ask them. Click here to listen to listen to a West Virginian democrat and former Hillary supporter deliver some shockingly racist tidbits. (The best parts come after the first 5 minutes.)

Now sure, a lot of these folks are ignorant, xenophobic Republicans, so that might not change a lot…but, on the other hand, some of them would have been too busy making moonshine to bother to vote if they didn’t have the impetus of voting against the black fellow.

Meanwhile some unknown portion of these folks are democrats or “swing” voters. That’s bad.

Let’s remember that the last two elections were really quite close, and there was no race issue.

Add in race, and this could be a real problem, especially in the crucial swing states. Smelling a landslide for McCain yet?

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Reason #6: Urban voting challenges
October 6, 2008

If these folks don't wait the hours it will take them to vote then their next lengthy queue may well be at the intake gate for the Palin Administration's secure citizen re-education facilities in Alaska. You betcha!
This one is pretty simple.

It’s generally a lot harder to vote in densely populated areas full of Democrats than it is in exurbs and rural areas replete with Republicans. (Even without the presence of those pesky Republican voter intimidation a-holes!)

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Reason #3: Americans hate smart people
October 6, 2008

America hates smart people
America’s most culturally suicidal drive is our hatred of smart people.

Do we celebrate the nerds from the computer club who will go on to invent the internet? No, we love the quarterback who will go on to impregnate Betty Lou during senior year and end up working at the gas station.

Do we respect the teachers who inspire students to challenge their minds? No, we adulate the coaches who will secretly encourage their athletes to take steroids and win the state championship.

Barack Obama is a smart person. Do the math. (Unless you’re an average American, in which case don’t do the math lest your head implode.)

Tags:Barack Obama, Election, John McCain, Politics, Sarah Palin
Posted in Hicks in the sticks, Stupidity | 24 Comments »

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Reason #2: Dumb people have more children
October 6, 2008

Dumb people have more children
Heebie jeebies on overdrive!

These overproud and publicity loving Christian extremists have raised the “be fruitful and multiply” tenet far above the “treat each other like you want to be treated” rule they claim to instill in their brood in interviews. It takes little imagination to picture the truly nightmarish world we’d struggle to survive in if every couple on earth had 18 (and counting!) babies, generation after relentless generation.

And I think they’re actually on their way to 19 or 20 at this point, by the way.

You see, while Idiocracy is a very silly movie, its premise is exactly correct: stupid people procreate much more quickly than smart people, and stupidity is at least partly genetic. Therefore we will continue to get dumber over time, and at an increasing rate.

Which means an infinity of Republican administrations in the future.

If you don’t believe me do a google search on the Duggars. You’ll find a lot of blogs that talk about how blessed by God the whole thing is. Quod Erat Demonstrandum.

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Reason #1: Americans are dumb
October 6, 2008

Alaska Education Commissioner Larry LeDoux (above) greets students on the first day of school last September.
Yes, Virginia, Americans are dumb. (Not all Americans, just most of us.)

Source: http://whyobamawilllose.wordpress.co...in-the-sticks/
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"Somebody, after all, had to make a start. What we wrote and said is also believed by many others. They just don't dare express themselves as we did."
— Sophie Scholl



Last edited by cafetimes1991; 02-11-2008 at 07:19 PM.
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