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Old 10-02-2014, 04:44 PM   #1
nevercrywolf
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Default "Underwear Code" a sensible way of protecting kids

This is important for everyone to learn, it's also the most easiest way to find out if kids are being sexually abused and it's something that each and every child needs to be taught

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NSPCC "Underwear Code" a sensible way of protecting kids - Derby Telegraph comment

IT IS a disquieting subject, but one that has to be addressed.

The possibility of your young child being sexually abused is not something any parent would want to consider.

But it is a sad fact that abuse goes on, as evidenced by the seemingly increasing number of predators being brought before courts.

Now the NSPCC has come up with a way of talking to children about this disturbing crime.

Its "Underpants Code" tells them, essentially, that the areas beneath their underwear are places which no-one but themselves should be touching.

The publicity surrounding the code has already paid off here, with a mum using its approach to question her daughter about some suspicions she had. This led to the conviction of paedophile Ron Wood.

And now the girl's mother is urging other parents to make themselves aware of the code.

It may be a difficult subject to talk about, but the alternative could be to allow abuse to happen.

Read more: http://www.derbytelegraph.co.uk/NSPC...#ixzz2swTrLjte
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Old 10-02-2014, 05:22 PM   #2
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What about if a very young child poos it's pants at school though ? How should that be dealt with.

Personally I think that by putting ever-younger kids into schools, we are KNOWINGLY putting our child in a vulnerable position. I am not saying that I want cctv cameras all around the schools - I think that kids shouldnt be at school until they can talk and understand things properly. I mean the ptb are saying how dangerous it is in schools and places like that, so why do thye still insist that kids (almost from birth) are gonna be forced into schools ?
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Old 10-02-2014, 05:37 PM   #3
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What about if a very young child poos it's pants at school though ? How should that be dealt with.

Personally I think that by putting ever-younger kids into schools, we are KNOWINGLY putting our child in a vulnerable position. I am not saying that I want cctv cameras all around the schools - I think that kids shouldnt be at school until they can talk and understand things properly. I mean the ptb are saying how dangerous it is in schools and places like that, so why do thye still insist that kids (almost from birth) are gonna be forced into schools ?
There is a huge difference and children know it. The problem arises only under completely different circumstances. Some abused victims are afraid to even cuddle with their own children, which speaks volumes over how these things start.

A child is in danger everywhere, even at home. How many dads, uncles, family friends etc. have crossed the line with children without their parents knowing a thing?

I strongly object to the sexual education that they give to 6-year old children, it doesn't tell teach kids anything, only prepares them.

So by using a child's own language in a simple way, teaching the child what part of them is and has to be private is a good way to disarm the paedos - hopefully paedos soon run out of kids who don't fight them back

Russia has millions of children living on the street. There was an interview years ago, they were asked why they rather live on the street than in children's homes... they felt safe only on the streets and the bigger boys protected the small ones who were only a few years old. It wasn't spelled out directly but it was pretty clear what they were running away from.

It's extremely sad when children have to live on streets and form families with other kids because it's their only way to protect themself - from adults
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Old 10-02-2014, 06:07 PM   #4
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There is another thing which supports the use of the 'underwear code': Kids tell each other about it without even having to urge them to do so, the code will spread like fire and reach also those kids who are sexually abused in their own home.

No wonder children have not warned or acted when they see someone sexually abused - they don't know if it's right or wrong

But once the code spreads in kindergartens, schools, orphanages to name just a few, then it's even more efficient than any public campaign. One child tells another who tells another who tells another... it will spread and get more substance once many children talk about it.

The future is filled with hope
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Old 11-02-2014, 11:21 AM   #5
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That seems very sensible. Strange that they don't seem to mention looking, without touching, though that could clearly be abusive too.
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Old 11-02-2014, 01:04 PM   #6
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Please check out the type of "underwear" the shops are selling! These also send "messages".


D
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Old 11-02-2014, 01:31 PM   #7
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That seems very sensible. Strange that they don't seem to mention looking, without touching, though that could clearly be abusive too.
Maybe because innocent children can't see if anyone looks at them in an abusive way or not?

My friend's dad tried to groom me every chance he got - at the time I didn't know what grooming meant, but in his case he showed immense interest in me in front of his family, it felt awkward when he pulled me to sit beside him on the sofa and put his arm around me. I was not used to even own parents doing that. If my friend had to go to the toilet he came in her room, put his arm around me and started to talk about how he thinks that the two of us should go on a boating trip on his boat "so that we would learn to know each other better" ... I squirmed and prayed for his daughter to quickly come back and I thought at that moment how wrong he acts against his own daughter when starting to prefer her friend right in front of her

I did not think for a second that he would abuse me sexually, it was a strange concept and hence impossible to even suspect anything, instead I thought that he did wrong by showing me more attention than he showed to his daughter - I was just her friend for crying out loud

So I learned to become an expert in avoiding him and that way make sure that his daughter would get the appreciation and love she deserved. It was only after he once kissed me by forcing his tongue in my mouth that alarm clocks started to ring - who tongue-kisses their young children

That's when I knew something was really wrong, it was only years later that I understood what a boner is and just thinking about the incident makes me want to shower and shower - he didn't abuse me much but it made feel dirty.

And of course my parents didn't want to hear about it, I wanted to tell them, because it was clear that he did things with my friend too and I wanted mom and dad to step in and make sure she wouldn't be hurt.

This experience explains how children react and how powerless they feel when adults don't listen to them

Children are totally on their own at the hands of a paedophile - totally - especially those who are abused by their dad!

I felt uncomfortable around him and knew that he crossed a 'line' only when sticking his tongue in my mouth. That I knew was wrong!!!!

Adults need to pay attention if another adult shows too much affection and interest in a child, a child has not yet learned the boundaries, they learn them in their early adulthood when their sex appeal has developed and they learn it from other young adults.

Everyone who tells the underpant-code to their children, please also make sure that you also can take possible disturbing information, that you don't put your child in a defensive position by telling that they are lying etc. They need to know that they are believed, it's vital for them, they also need you to take actions to show that you are adults who take the huge load of suffering they carry around, that you tell the child that it's now their problem and that way liberate the child to be a child again.

We know by now that children are not protected by default and that predators are counting on people seeing paedophilia as a taboo, something you don't talk about.

It's time for that to change, bring it out in the open no matter how painful the subject is to parents. Parents talking to other parents form a group and it grows bigger and bigger - we can stop the paedos if we want to do it by making it a subject that is openly discussed!!

First we have to teach our kids where the line goes, what is wrong behavior. When they hear it from their parents it is an absolute truth to them, they get confidence and state this truth to other kids.

By telling them where sacred and private parts are - on yourself of course - you protect your kids since you don't tell them why they are private, you just teach them the private parts like you would teach them the alphabet.

Another aspect is how this will grow and expand, will there be a day when all children carry a whistleblower in their pockets so that they can immediately get sickos off them?!?

Time will tell, but for now it looks good. It is the people's opinion which will make the system change
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Old 11-02-2014, 01:48 PM   #8
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Please check out the type of "underwear" the shops are selling! These also send "messages".


D
+10000

Something is terribly wrong in the society when it has become normal for small kids to dress up as lolitas, that has to change so that more and more kids start wearing normal clothes for their age and stop imitating adult behaviour.

Once when visiting a school in Russia they arranged a program. A 16-year old boy was dancing in a provocative way to a pop song they played and the teachers nearby started to talk about how embarrassing it is when a young boy tries to imitate something that he doesn't have in him.

People should start to think about how sex appeal comes in the late teens, not before that. And even then it is a very very very sensitive thing that takes a long time to develop and blossom. Virginity is something that each and everyone should be able to keep under their own control and something that they themself decide to give to someone - when they are ready for it.
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Old 11-02-2014, 01:56 PM   #9
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I want to make clear that it is in now way the children's fault, that them dressing in certain clothes can never be held upon them.

Adults are the ones with information enough to act in an adult way and if some paedo does something, then it's 100 % only his fault and his responsibility.
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Old 16-02-2014, 02:43 AM   #10
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That seems very sensible. Strange that they don't seem to mention looking, without touching, though that could clearly be abusive too.
looking is ok as if it was not, then you would have most parents arrested because they look
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Old 16-02-2014, 02:44 AM   #11
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I want to make clear that it is in now way the children's fault, that them dressing in certain clothes can never be held upon them.

Adults are the ones with information enough to act in an adult way and if some paedo does something, then it's 100 % only his fault and his responsibility.
so you are saying dressing like a prostitute is acceptable, and that they are not initiating behavior/stereotypes?
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Old 16-02-2014, 10:21 AM   #12
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so you are saying dressing like a prostitute is acceptable, and that they are not initiating behavior/stereotypes?
Smart of you to turn things upside down and point the blaming finger on the children

What's your excuse for paedos and their behaviour decades ago?

I don't remember children wearing any 'slutty' clothes, yet you can probably pinpoint how children dragged paedos down to their level
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Old 19-02-2014, 10:23 AM   #13
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Smart of you to turn things upside down and point the blaming finger on the children

What's your excuse for paedos and their behaviour decades ago?

I don't remember children wearing any 'slutty' clothes, yet you can probably pinpoint how children dragged paedos down to their level
I have no idea how they used to dress etc. From what I have read, up until the early 90's you could buy mags in stores of cp, and it was legal. I was just stating how most of them dress now and what they portray. Some of them dress like prostitutes, well most of them it seems now days. I was just sayng that if they are "giving the impression that they are prostitutes, then I could see how they could be mistaken for one". Its like first impressions make an impact on how society views you. To dress like a prostitute and not want to be viewed like one doesn't make much sense. If they don't want to be viewed as prostitutes, then don't dress like one. Would you say that a hunter wearing camaflauge say a deer hunter or whatever expect you to view them as a businessman or a businessman wearing a suit and tie expect you to view them as a day laborer or a building maker?
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Old 19-02-2014, 11:43 AM   #14
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I have no idea how they used to dress etc. From what I have read, up until the early 90's you could buy mags in stores of cp, and it was legal. I was just stating how most of them dress now and what they portray. Some of them dress like prostitutes, well most of them it seems now days. I was just sayng that if they are "giving the impression that they are prostitutes, then I could see how they could be mistaken for one". Its like first impressions make an impact on how society views you. To dress like a prostitute and not want to be viewed like one doesn't make much sense. If they don't want to be viewed as prostitutes, then don't dress like one. Would you say that a hunter wearing camaflauge say a deer hunter or whatever expect you to view them as a businessman or a businessman wearing a suit and tie expect you to view them as a day laborer or a building maker?
What I was trying to say was that it's definitely not the child's fault if a paedo 'mistakes' them for prostitutes. A child's mentality vs an adult's mentality - there is a huuuuge difference.

So in other words to make the society 'safe' for paedos would then be banning all women's clothing which might arouse men, children don't understand the concept of sexuality, they learn from watching adults. They can't make the comparison between sex and the clothes they are wearing, it's the adult who gets that impression.

So, should all women and girls be dressed in burkas so that paedos don't 'mistake' them for being willing to sex?
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Old 19-02-2014, 11:58 AM   #15
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To continue; I wonder what the child abuse -rates are in Muslim countries where women do not wear any 'slutty' clothes?

Also what is your suggestion for boys to wear so that they don't suggest to paedos that they want to be raped by them?

Read this one, a 13-years old girl from Sudan was gangraped and she is now accused of indecent behavior:

http://www.opendemocracy.net/arab-aw...2%80%99s-fault
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Old 19-02-2014, 03:46 PM   #16
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if i had young infants now they wouldn't be having any vaccines nor would they go to any schools but be Home Educated somehow. So back to chastity belts then and nappies! Then there is those Outward Bound places and PGL holidays to send kiddies away to when bit older but still under age, no chance these days would i allow that.
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Old 19-02-2014, 05:09 PM   #17
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if i had young infants now they wouldn't be having any vaccines nor would they go to any schools but be Home Educated somehow. So back to chastity belts then and nappies! Then there is those Outward Bound places and PGL holidays to send kiddies away to when bit older but still under age, no chance these days would i allow that.
Same here!

There would probably be more families who would want to take their children from schools and give them home education.

All it needs is for one family to join another family and make it happen. Arrange education and other things so that they would take turns. This small community would attract other families to join and soon there would be big 'families' where no paedo would go undetected - if that would happen then his family would be immediately excluded from the community.

They would also be entitled to monetary support from the authorities and even if that wouldn't happen I'm sure there would be plenty enough of good-will and sharing. Children would feel safe and would never have to know what they are protected from. These communities would raise a generation of balanced and happy people who grew up with the love they deserve and who pass on that love to their children.

Of course schools and other institutions are not filled with paedos, however the serious and real problem is that only some of them are handpicked, prosecuted and usually acquitted and put back in the community to continue abusing children.

The authorities don't take actions to remove this problem.

Churches would also be out of the question, the children would get religious education without going into pieces when morality would not be taught while at the same time committing severe immoral deeds.

All this until/if the authorities would take real actions to make sure that paedos are immediately arrested and somehow excluded from the community for the rest of their lives. There is more than enough proof of them doing the same things again and again, so why the heck all the talks about their freaking 'therapy' and how people should 'embrace' them

It's like a fenced forest where predators hunt after victims. They document all their deeds and still the forest guards have 'difficulties' in finding them. Sometimes they choose to hear a cry for help and remove one predator for a while, only to release him back in the same forest where other predators welcome him with open arms.

And of course the forest guards don't have a clue about where these predators live and when getting their hands on damning footage they rarely think that it's evidence enough to arrest the predator.

They should all have to ask themself which one is more important - a paedo or a child.
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Old 21-02-2014, 09:00 AM   #18
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Yahoo, the 'underwear-code' is already in action

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The Underwear Rule:

P - Privates are Private

A- ALways remember your body belongs to you

N - No means no

T - Talk about secrets that upset you

S- Speak up, someone can help

http://www.lutontoday.co.uk/news/fea...buse-1-5885281
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Old 23-03-2014, 01:00 AM   #19
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I have no idea how they used to dress etc. From what I have read, up unthe early 90's you could buy mags in stores of cp, and it was legal. I was just stating how most of them dress now and what they portray. Some of them dress like prostitutes, well most of them it seems now days. I was just sayng that if they are "giving the impression that they are prostitutes, then I could see how they could be mistaken for one". Its like first impressions make an impact on how society views you. To dress like a prostitute and not want to be viewed like one doesn't make much sense. If they don't want to be viewed as prostitutes, then don't dress like one. Would you say that a hunter wearing camaflauge say a deer hunter or whatever expect you to view them as a businessman or a businessman wearing a suit and tie expect you to view them as a day laborer or a building maker?
How on earth could you mistake a child for a prostitute? also, even if someone is a prostitute, how on earth that makes them fair game for abuse I don't know. You must be seriously messed up if you think children should be raped because of how they are dressed. If how anyone was dressed made any difference to abusers, fully clothed children and adults would never be raped, which they often are. Really vile point of view you have. To even suggest society should view a child as a prostitute (im assuming by prostitute you mean rape-able, as children cannot give consent, and sex without consent is rape).
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Old 23-03-2014, 01:07 AM   #20
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From what I have read, up until the early 90's you could buy mags in stores of cp, and it was legal.

I'm not sure what country you live in, but such material has been illegal since 1978 in the UK and even before that would have been considered obscene under previous legislation. It is absolutely not the case that up until the early 90s, a paedophile could breeze into a store and buy a mag with cp in it.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_p...United_Kingdom

Other countries will have different laws obviously, but honestly I doubt if there's a country on the face of the planet where a paedophile could just breeze into a store and buy cp "up until the early 90's".

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