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Old 16-04-2008, 01:32 PM   #41
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I've just found out that its in eggs ..... looks like its eggs for brekkie from now on.

Anyone have any theories why I haven't relapsed ? Everyone I speak to says that I should be psychotic again by now. Apart from maybe being mis-diagnosed (which sounds quite plausible to me) ?

EDIT
I've decided to go back on the meds. It's very selfish of me to be doing this behind my family's back etc. When I was ill I was a danger to them and to myself.

I know its a bit of a U turn but I've been thinking about it all day, flip flopping from one to the other. Thanks for the advice Lime.

Last edited by kitchenmatt; 16-04-2008 at 04:28 PM. Reason: Decision
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Old 16-04-2008, 07:44 PM   #42
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Through years of painful experience, and my journey into the darkness within, I've found that treating just the body isn't enough. It really takes a holistic approach to fully treat someone in suffering. It's important to improve one's nutrition but just as important to fix the problems in the mind and the spirit. It all works as one and where one element is off so will the others be. If the spirit is alive and healthy the body and mind will soon follow and vice versa.

Those who undergo mental illness suffer great pain. As we approach 2012 I believe we will see an increase in mental disorder (depression, bipolar, schizophrenia) several hundred times what we see today. The pharmaceutical companies are going to have orgasms over all the money they make as the world seems to go crazy all at the same time.
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Old 16-04-2008, 08:02 PM   #43
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I remember reading in my days training as a nurse (some 14 years ago now!) that there was one psychiatrist that specialised in differentiating between psychosis and spiritual awakening - I've had a look in my books/notes from that time and can't find it right now - will let you know if I do.

But my point being that there are some specialists out there who do recognise a difference!
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Old 17-04-2008, 07:12 AM   #44
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Quote:
Originally Posted by montag View Post
Under different circumstances without the right support it's possible to imagine David Icke could have been have been diagnosed with some sort of mental illness and hospitalized when he went through his awakening. In fact many now would still consider him and most of us here mentally ill for some of the views we hold.

The guy in the vid isn't saying that everybody who is diagnosed with this disorder is having an awakening, what is saying though is that there is many people who are having a spiritual awakening or spiritual crisis and that these people need assistance from people who have an understanding of this not from psychiatrists.

Here is an excerpt of how one spiritual healer explains the more holistic nature of people and how we are influenced, and the treatment freeing people from those influences:

Quote:
A person's health and experience of life (a person's reality) has its basis in holographically-recorded attitudes, beliefs, and emotions and these are the magnetic forces that underlie illness or health, attract and repel potential experiences, relationships to others, and shape our world view. By removing important blockages and unwanted attachments from the "unseen" or "subtle" bodies and unplugging them from the neural networks of the brain at a quantum level, a person's life starts to change and bloom.

There are a few kinds of blockages that everyone has which affect the flow of Life Force in the body. These are not "solid" in the material sense, but they are "solid" in faster time flows, in the seven subtle bodies that operate in these faster-frequency time flows. They are blockages of life-force energies, and they become "solidified" in the subtle bodies due to stress, trauma, and unresolved emotions such as fear, hatred, self-pity, et cetera. The emotions in a human being can become quite powerful, and these "manifest" as blockages that look very real to a clairvoyant person who can "see" these different frequency bands. (An example of frequency bands is Infrared, Visible Light, Ultraviolet, Gamma, X-Ray)

These blockages (emotional thoughtforms), often look like grayish orbs (spheres) representing an accumulation of emotional energy that has not been owned as wisdom, or that is unresolved and not forgiven. These orbs become condensed and solidified in the subtle bodies, and locate themselves in the body's chakras, or energy centers, according to the frequency. In other words, each of the seven energy centers, or chakras, which are located in the groin, lower intestines, abdomen, heart, throat, pineal, and pituitary, correspond with different emotional frequencies, so the kind of emotion determines where the blockage will be located in the chakras. For example, an unresolved experience of heartbreak, or rejection in love, will probably have a blockage in the heart chakra, and an experience of the guilt of not speaking the truth will have a blockage in the throat chakra. (These are very simplified examples of a complex subject, but I hope this gives you an idea.)

Discarnates

Before and during sessions, I often need to send discarnates, which are on Infrared (the astral) through the "tunnel" to the Plane of Bliss (Visible Light.) This is very common. They often prevent sessions from proceeding. I explain to them that you can't reincarnate from Infrared that you must go through the Tunnel to the Plane of Bliss, where you have a Life Review, and there is an agenda there that must be fulfilled before another incarnation is possible. Discarnates are very "earthbound". They're people we've known in past lives that usually feel they have a right to dominate the person they are "attached" to, through some kind of karmic contract such as "You betrayed me" or, "you abandoned me" or "you said you would be with me forever and never leave me", or it's a bond of hatred, where they are punishing the person that they are hanging around, etc. Now that they are gone, you will probably feel more freedom from their influence. More peace of mind. In other words, their "voices in your head" are now gone.

Occupants

An "occupant" is a thoughtform that thinks it owns the body, and is hindering a person's evolution. These are thoughtforms that can sometimes have very strong magnetic fields that attract undesirable experiences and relationships. These are the top-priority removals, as occupants interfere with a more natural flow of people, places, times, things, and events. When they are removed, their influence is also removed, and a person's experience of people, places, times things and events manifests more in accordance with the person's desires. Occupants often enter a chakra (seal) of the body during periods of illness, trauma, or stress. We scan the Light Body in a systematic way, identifying occupants and all lesser thoughtforms associated with them, removing them as we go.

A General Guideline Regarding Chakra Blockages (Occupants)

Occupants in the 7th chakra hold God concepts, i.e. 'god is a tyrant/god is benevolent'

Occupants in the 6th chakra hold insanity or obsession of analogical experiences and represent clarity/confusion issues

Occupants in the 5th chakra hold spoken or unspoken issues like not telling the truth, or using the power of the word for deception or manipulation

Occupants in the 4th chakra hold heartbreak and affect one's ability to cultivate unconditional love or self-love

Occupants in the 3rd chakra hold power/dominance/control and self-esteem issues (victimization, subjugation, blame)

Occupants in the 2nd chakra hold issues related to pain and suffering

Occupants in the 1st chakra hold sex and survival issues. Issues of sexual addictions, gender identification, and of course the fear of death (non-survival), which is the root of all fears, affects this chakra.

Portals

We then check for portals, which are openings in one or more chakras that act as "vacuums" for other peoples' adverse thoughtforms. We find them on people who wish to heal the pain and suffering of others (consciously or unconsciously) by taking upon themselves other peoples' burdens -- their undesirable thoughtforms generated by discordant emotions. Portals have the potential to cause health problems, depression, and energy loss. We close the portals permanently by obtaining a subconscious release of the emotional trauma that caused the portal to open. They are vertical, and are found in the center of the body, along the "pranic tube" that extends from the top of the head to the ankles.

We are connected to Source or God through rotating fields of energy that come from Source down through the universal, galactic, planetary, and then personal energy grids. If we have blockages like occupants or portals in our bio-energetic field, then these affect our ability to accrete this energy from Source and affect our potential for at-one-ment. With these gone, you will have much more energy and will be able to tap into your higher dimensions of consciousness that are closest to Source.

Control issues are central to just about everyone's life. The personality tries to control our lives, yet it's our Deeper Self that is the best at doing that. Most people never find their deeper, intuitive Self because it's a feeling, and it has no words. Some have called it "the small, still voice of God-within." The personality, which is seated in the neocortex of the brain, just doesn't have the resources to do the job -- to create joy, to bring about opportunities. These seemingly "miraculous" things are the reward for becoming an adept at using the midbrain, or psychic brain, which has the ability to bring about the mystical in life. Few people ever access this; hence most peoples' lives are a survival struggle, a power struggle to compete to survive. That's the lot of humanity, basically. I can remove intense traumas, but I cannot change anyone's decisions or attitudes (obviously *smile*). Your attitude is EVERYTHING, so since you have made the decision to get better, your attitude will reflect this, and you won't create the same blockages again.

So... I do work a long time to remove some of the unconscious "triggers" by removing some of these past-life traumas (in the form of holographic thoughtforms), as much as I can in one session. When these emotional thoughtforms are absolved, large, beautiful golden soul fragments are retrieved spontaneously into your Light Body. (These "soul fragments" are the life force that had previously been "tied up" in the unresolved emotions, the thoughtforms.) This is what it looks like clairvoyantly when thoughtforms (holograms) unwind and the soul energy is retrieved.

During the session and particularly at the end, when everything is released, the life force that was tied up in the attachments then returns through the subtle bodies. This means more life force circulates throughout the body. Clairvoyantly, this healing looks like swirls of color around the auric field, and infinitely small sacred geometric rainbow forms entered all the cells. It's very beautiful to "see".

Last edited by lifeofbrian; 17-04-2008 at 07:15 AM.
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Old 18-04-2008, 04:44 AM   #45
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Sunrise genius reveals his dark truth


"When you're on a high, you feel you can do anything" - Adam Boland,
on the set of Sunrise, says anti-depressant drugs blunt his creative
edge.

Jane Cadzow
April 18, 2008


WHERE do you draw the line between brilliance and madness? That is the question raised by hotshot television producer Adam Boland, who has spoken for the first time about his diagnosis with bipolar disorder, the mental illness characterised by huge swings in mood and energy levels.

"When you're on a high, you feel you can do anything," says Boland, 32, director of morning television at the Seven network. "Things that would normally take a week get done in an hour. There's no stopping you. It's an exciting state to be in."

Boland has been a key player in propelling Seven to No. 1 in the ratings and is widely regarded as the most talented young TV executive in the country. At 27, he took over production of the shaky Sunrise program and within a few years had transformed it into a ratings powerhouse and made household names of its hosts, Melissa Doyle and David Koch.

In an interview to be published in Good Weekend tomorrow, he talks not only about the disorder, formerly known as manic depression, but his decision to stop taking mood-stabilising drugs.

"The question of medication is a really tricky one," he said yesterday. "It makes you normal, and while that shouldn't be seen as a bad thing, I have an issue with just being normal."

Essentially, Boland believes the drugs blunted his creative edge. "I can't afford that. And I don't think Seven can afford it."

He now has counselling instead of taking tablets and accepts that, along with the highs, he is subject to bouts of debilitating depression. "You have to trade off the downside because the upside is so good. That's perhaps a dangerous strategy but it's one that has served me well up to this point."

Boland's illness was diagnosed by Gordon Parker, executive director of the Black Dog Institute, attached to the Prince of Wales Hospital, who estimates 600,000 Australians have bipolar disorder.

Professor Parker says it is more common in high achievers. There had been informal studies suggesting that "if you have bipolar disorder or you have it in the family, you're distinctly more likely to end up in Who's Who".

This week, the NSW Treasurer, Michael Costa, spoke of his struggle with the disorder and rugby league star Tim Smith revealed he had it, too. League legend Andrew Johns has published a book about his own struggle with the condition, though Professor Parker points out that at times Johns felt it gave him an advantage: "When he was high, he could see openings in the field that no other back could see, and he would be through in a flash."

One of Professor Parker's clients is a golfer who says that he plays at least three or four strokes better when he is on a high, feeling he can see each blade of grass with crystal clarity. "I get that described by sportsmen quite frequently.

"The downside, of course, is that when they're depressed, their reaction time is impaired."

For most people diagnosed with the condition, medication is the best option, he says. In both bipolar disorder I, which involves psychotic episodes, and the "milder" bipolar disorder II, sometimes known as bipolar lite, depression can be so severe it leads to suicide. So if a particular drug causes feelings of flatness, it is best to try another. "It's a suck-it-and-see process," he says.

THE SUNRISE KID

Last edited by montag; 18-04-2008 at 05:05 AM.
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Old 04-05-2008, 12:37 AM   #46
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Hi
Great thread I agree with Drael and Lateral v, and the others that say that alot of mental illness can be the result of someone awakening.
Most psychiatry is guess work, it is not about curing the ' illness' but ceasing the symptoms.

The SSRI's were discovered by accident and they are not clear how they exactly work within the brain - they know they increase the reuptake of serotonin but the other effects are unclear hence the debate about addiction disorder as a result of being on these meds.

I think that when emptyblessing said there will be an increase in mental health disorders diagnosed as approach 2012 - that this assessment is spot on.

I know it is true that the brain can get sick - and broken - like a broken leg - tumours for example or bleeds ... but when the brain starts short wiring .. irrespective of the conventional cause ... all illnesses start in our energy .. either implanted or as a result of energy blocks.

If we have sudden chakra ' awakenings ' or openings - caused by trauma or drugs the effects can be devastating, because any blocks and ' yuck' that has not been cleared will manifest in the physical.

So I truely belive that alot of mental health problems arise from energetic sources through chakras prematurely opening, through negative entities energy attaching etc etc

It is a very complicated subject and I am not expert - but I do know that each person needs to be assessed individually and holistically ..

But I agree a lack of energetic balance can send an individual into freefall.

as the energies on this planet increase - alot of people who hae not worked on their blocks will see their stuff manifesting around them ... and this will be very hard and scary for them..
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Old 04-05-2008, 12:40 AM   #47
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also I think that very sensitive individuals can get bombarded by the negativity that is often in the work place and that drifts around certain people .. and again this can be devastating if they do not know how to deal with these energies
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Old 22-08-2010, 06:53 AM   #48
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Hi I just found this site and would like to add to this post for the benifit of others like me. I am a 41 year old Ch’an master. I have practiced Ch’an (Zen)for 20 years. In that time I have had 4 manic episodes or spirit walks as I call them. I had been teaching Shaolin Kung fu and Ch’an for 10 years desperate in my journey to enlightenment when I had my first awakening. The Tao filled me, the Holy spirit entered me and I experienced a whole new world of little miracles. It was and still is like perceiving the world as a movie where everything is in place just for you to experience it and own it and at the same time realizing that everyone is experiencing the same thing in their own perception. I am a Christian that was never part of a church, a Jew who is a gentile and a Buddhist who follows the Tao. I never realized this before my awakening and now am very comfortable with it. I tried to tell my loved ones of my experience and new understandings but they couldn’t understand me for I only spoke in Koans, parables, riddles or metaphors. That is how I was demonstrating my new found understanding and I ended up in the hospital. They treated me well always have but the first couple times I was discouraged I had shed my ego, understood that the Christ or Buddha was in each of us. I had looked into my nature and found them there but was told I was delusional.

So I became one with Love anyway but love hurts it can lead to the deepest suffering. I had to shed my suffering again my Being answered with a mania. Once again a wall had shattered for I truly heard Isaiah when he prophesied “ From the suffering and anguish of his soul he shall see the light” I saw the light and was healed. I had fought tooth and nail with my demons and had emerged victorious too bad they weren’t the only demons I would have to wrestle. Unlike Jacob I had to wrestle with Satan and God I lost the fight I died in the battle but like a phoenix rising from the ashes I awoke the next morning in the hospital alive. No I never tried to commit suicide and never have but I had been fighting a mental and spiritual battle with them for weeks in the end I was tired and God said he would destroy me, there was nothing I could do, I never felt weak I felt at peace. I fell asleep in the hospital waiting to never wake up but I did. I was reborn knowing instinctively Hell and Heaven were both here on earth they were within me just as God and Satan were. We are God or we are Satan moment to moment one to the other, we control our existence as much as a tree does but we are free just like the tree is. They say a tree gave us this knowledge.

Existence gave us this knowledge, sentience or being gave us perception of it and perception is relative. Spirit walks shatter your sense of reality because you are hypervigilant, you have been fasting and not sleeping, you are hearing voices and seeing visions, all while consuming large quantities of marijuana and alcohol. Reality is truly shattered when in a sober manic state you meet strangers who are in on the game and you are not. Mainly the homeless. These people will come up to you in these times and know and do things they just shouldn’t know and do. You now have an understanding of no understanding where everything can not possibly be understood by me and yet things are working and things happen to guide me along so that’s enough because anymore would drive me insane. I learned we should each focus on our own little part of creation and existence if everyone did this soon the world would be a clean and secure place to live.

My politics changed from these experiences as well I went from no politics to realizing I have always been practicing “Enlightened Anarchy” but using real enlightenment instead of philosophical enlightenment. I also do not need a Temple to recognize me for my credentials awakenings come and go but true enlightenment is instantaneous and forever. Ch’an is me, I am Ch’an. God is the creator and creation. God and I are one. Made in this image I am and I am eternal. There are myriad I’s who form the We. When We becomes One that is the Anointed One. Peace will reign but not yet while the prophets and saints are put into bondage. The visionaries of old we praise while we persecute those of the present. It was the same then what should change now I suppose. It is the suffering and the search for it’s release that create manias. Hatching a real dragon’s egg within.

So in one sense no suffering no enlightenment. In water currents are life and stagnation is death it is the same for humans. Since we are mainly water it is fitting to use this analogy for we are more at one with water than anything else. The balance between life and death in water and man is oxygen levels. Suffering like moving water maintains the balance the oxygen is spirit. Spirit is strengthened by suffering. Issues that are burdensome are resolved. A numbness overpowers fear and compassion takes over. Social causes become of greater importance. With perseverance comes courage and then true humility. There will always be suffering it is how we perceive it that is important. Perception is reality. I walk in a dream in which I can’t fall asleep or awake but I am lucid and content.

As you can see by this writing that I am not crazy just a little eccentric. Many of the people who read this will think he has been diagnosed as being Bi Polar 1 with mixed episodes he’s crazy, listen to his ideas. Religion wants him to beleive in their Icons to be saved but when he acts and lives like them he is nuts. Yes I am saying Jesus, Moses, Buddha and Lao tsu (and all the other prophets)were most likely Bi polar and I and others like me are the living proof of that. That is why I write this on this interesting posting site. I put in 20 years of my life training and teaching this stuff. It would be awkward if I couldn’t come up with the goods. I met more patients in the ward coming down who had a better understanding than most priests, monks and rabbi’s.

That is what scares the institutions that are there to protect them and help them through these so called crisis’s. It’s only a crisis to the institution because the manic is usely better read than the heirarchy and existing in a abstract mind state which is frightening to those who are not comfortable with infinitness. Talking about something and having direct experience of the subject are two different things and most clergy the people who could help intercede in these times don't have the experience and know little of the subject. A subject they are supposed to be masters of. They choose to shun the living prophets and embrace only the dead ones. Putting them in hospitals and telling them they are mad. How many insights and visions have been crushed so no one may hear them. Manias should be recorded if possible even the ugly ones so much wisdom would be gained if this was done.

Please note that a mania and a psychotic episode are two different conditions. It is manias that should be studied. From my own experience if you let a mania run its course by controlling it mentally with love you will not have a phycotic episode. If external negativity is present it will alter the manias course to becoming psychotic so the handling of the situation must done with compassion and understanding.

What a manic needs is a controled environment that will safely allow the mania to run it's full course using psychoanalysis, psychotherapy and minimal medication. Religions should take responsibility and offer comfort and aid as well. All a manic recieves at this point in time is negativity, resentment and lots of medication. This is why there are so many negative episodes as opposed to positive ones. It is all about self empowerment but when the self and power are removed what is left? This is the greatest hurdle for the bi polar person in treatment today. My answer to them is they are always there use them or not. Make sure to journal your experiences and insights as well most will be crazy but there will be real gems. I write poems for my journal. Even my dreams are recorded there. I also chart my moods to learn my cycles. It's all about balance but we live in two worlds(depression/anxiety and mania)so balance is hard to acheive. Meditation is the answer to those who will listen. Meditation and Contemplation they are the only way to mend the scars of the conscience. So the sufferer can heal and move on to a wonderful balanced life. Mania is a living dream and must be interpreted as one.

My point here I guess is that society tells us be spiritual and be happy but when you become spiritual they put you on pills which make you unhappy. I take all my pills but I don't let the doctors push me around I take just enough to keep me a little up. Learn to diagnose yourself I do. You know your self better than any doctor. There are lots of Shrinks find one that is compassionate and is willing to work with you as a team player not one who will take charge of you.

So to those who need comfort in your after confusion just chill and think about it for what it was or whatever it meant to you. It is a gift that is treated like a curse. Think about this for one moment every one of Paul's Fruit of the Spirit are exhibited in a mania whether others believe it or not( True speaking in tongues would be speaking in metaphors they can be interpereted. Maybe manias were Pauls thorn.). Everything really did happen to you as you perceived it. It is not what happens but what you are thinking when it happens that makes a miracle.

“Can you see the lightening flashing in my eyes, hear the thunder roaring in my heart? I wish it would rain”

Peace out

Lone Flute Mountain Mist

Last edited by passerbye999; 23-08-2010 at 01:41 AM.
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Old 22-08-2010, 09:01 AM   #49
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Quote:
Originally Posted by passerbye999 View Post
Hi I just found this site would like to add to this post for the benifit of others like me. I am a 41 year old Ch’an master. I have practiced Ch’an (Zen)for 20 years. In that time I have had 4 manic episodes or spirit walks as I call them. I had been teaching Shaolin Kung fu and Ch’an for 10 years desperate in my journey to enlightenment when I had my first awakening. The Tao filled me, the Holy spirit entered me and I experienced a whole new world of little miracles. It was and still is like perceiving the world as a movie where everything is in place just for you to experience it and own it and at the same time realizing that everyone is experiencing the same thing in their own perception. I am a Christian that was never part of a church, a Jew who is a gentile and a Buddhist who follows the Tao. I never realized this before my awakening and now am very comfortable with it. I tried to tell my loved ones of my experience and new understandings but they couldn’t understand me for I only spoke in Koans, riddles or metaphors. That is how I was demonstrating my new found understanding and I ended up in the hospital. They treated me well always have but the first couple times I was discouraged I had shed my ego, understood that the Christ or Buddha was in each of us. I had looked into my nature and found them there.

So I became one with Love but love hurts it can lead to the deepest suffering. I had to shed my suffering again my Being answered with a mania. Once again a wall had shattered for I truly heard Isaiah when he prophesied “ From the suffering and anguish of his soul he shall see the light” I saw the light and was healed. I had fought tooth and nail with my demons and had emerged victorious too bad they weren’t the only demons I would have to wrestle. Unlike Jacob I had to wrestle with Satan and God I lost the fight I died in the battle but like a phoenix rising from the ashes I awoke the next morning in the hospital alive. No I never tried to commit suicide but I had been fighting a mental and spiritual battle with them for weeks in the end I was tired and God said he would destroy me, there was nothing I could do, I never felt weak I felt at peace. I fell asleep in the hospital waiting to never wake up but I did. I was reborn knowing instinctively Hell and Heaven were both here on earth they were within me just as God and Satan were. We are God or we are Satan moment to moment one to the other, we control our existence as much as a tree does but we are free just like the tree is. They say a tree gave us this knowledge.

Existence gave us this knowledge, sentience or being gave us perception of it and perception is relative. Spirit walks shatter your sense of reality because you are hypervigilant, you have been fasting and not sleeping, you are hearing voices and seeing visions, all while consuming large quantities of marijuana and alcohol. Reality is truly shattered when in a sober manic state you meet strangers who are in on the game and you are not. Mainly the homeless. These people will come up to you in these times and know and do things they just shouldn’t know and do. You now have an understanding of no understanding where everything can not possibly be understood by me and yet things are working and things happen to guide me along so that’s enough because anymore would drive me insane. I learned we should each focus on our own little part of creation and existence if everyone did this soon the world would be a clean and secure place to live.

My politics changed from these experiences as well I went from no politics to realizing I have always been practicing “Enlightened Anarchy” but using real enlightenment instead of philosophical enlightenment. I also do not need a Temple to recognize me for my credentials awakenings come and go but true enlightenment is instantaneous and forever. Ch’an is me, I am Ch’an. God is the creator and creation. God and I are one. Made in this image I am and I am eternal. There are myriad I’s who form the We. When We becomes One that is the Anointed One. Peace will reign but not yet while the prophets and saints are put into bondage. The visionaries of old we praise while we persecute those of the present. It was the same then what should change now I suppose. It is the suffering and the search for it’s release that create manias. Hatching a real dragon’s egg within.

So in one sense no suffering no enlightenment. In water currents are life and stagnation is death it is the same for humans. Since we are mainly water it is fitting to use this analogy for we are more at one with water than anything else. The balance between life and death in water and man is oxygen levels. Suffering like moving water maintains the balance the oxygen is spirit. Spirit is strengthened by suffering. Issues that are burdensome are resolved. A numbness overpowers fear and compassion takes over. Social causes become of greater importance. With perseverance comes courage and then true humility. There will always be suffering it is how we perceive it that is important. Perception is reality. I walk in a dream in which I can’t fall asleep or awake but I am lucid and content.

As you can see by this writing that I am not crazy just a little eccentric. Many of the people who read this will think he has been diagnosed as being Bi Polar 1 with mixed episodes he’s crazy, listen to his ideas. That is why I write this on this interesting posting site. I put in 20 years of my life training and teaching this stuff. It would be awkward if I couldn’t come up with the goods. I met more patients in the ward coming down who had a better understanding than most priests, monks and rabbi’s. That is what scares the institutions that are there to protect them and help them through these so called crisis’s. It’s only a crisis to the institution. So to those who need comfort in your after confusion just chill and think about it for what it was or whatever it meant to you. It is a gift that is treated like a curse. Think about this for one moment every one of Paul's Fruit of the Spirit are exhibited in a mania whether others believe it or not. Everything really did happen to you as you perceived it. It is not what happens but what you are thinking when it happens that makes a miracle.

“Can you see the lightening flashing in my eyes, hear the thunder roaring in my heart? I wish it would rain”

Peace out

Lone Flute Mountain Mist


Wow, thank you for sharing this with us.

Beautiful!!!


Love

&

Peace my friend
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Old 10-09-2010, 11:34 PM   #50
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I would like to thank this discussion forum for allowing me the chance to finally discuss these issues I have been silent with for awhile. I thank you Lateral V for your reception of my posting it has opened up within me the want to discuss these issues further if anyone is interested. Lone Flute Mountain Mist is my pen name for writing poetry. I view life as an epic poem that flows with the days revealing the story moment to moment. I signed my posting that way because I was discussing my lifes most intimate experiences and it seemed fitting. So if anyone would like to ask me questions I would be interested to hear them. For those like me talking is purgative it truly helps especially if you are anonymous and the audience is receptive. Peace

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Old 11-09-2010, 07:18 AM   #51
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Zen Master Hakuin called this Zen sickness. He most likely had a nervous breakdown.
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Old 11-09-2010, 08:48 PM   #52
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This is true the stronger the consciousness the greater the breakdown and then when you heal you are even stronger than before having had the experience. What is Zen? There is more diversity in this practice than in any other especially in the beginnings when different branches were always at odds with each other. Zen is the mind, the conscioussness this makes it as diverse as the population of earth. Zen is also not a religion the original masters were eccentric at best crazy at worst and all loners who would rather write poetry and meditate than integrate with society and share their knowledge. There is no community in true zen only the individual and the individual doesn't exist. So zen is nothing and I denounce it yet I practice it.
Enlightenment comes in many forms and means many things but to me it means an intimate understanding of reality and it's myriad forms through direct experience. I did have breakdowns does that discredit 20 years of teaching and practicing Shoalin Kung Fu. My Chi Kung is more powerful than ever all because of these breakdowns and my understanding of them. So since Hakuin isn't alive to diagnose me and I wouldn't listen to that dirty old shaveplate either he had his own zen. What is sick and healthy zen? Only dillusional zen where without a complete breakdown of self the individual beleives their interpretations of ancient masters are correct based on self understanding without direct experience. Koans are useless for study they are records of the masters they can only point to a direction not find the destination. Once you become a zen master the riddles all say they same thing and you realize they were a hindrance rather than help for a student. If they stopped thinking of the solutions they might find the answer. Zen is not a religion it is awareness and perception using the mind of no-mind. It was zen that helped me control my manias it is a tool not a doctrine. It is simply a living meditation. We build many religions out of nothing because we find something there.

"In the realm of the thousand Buddhas he is hated by the thousand Buddhas: Among the crowd of demons he is detested by the crowd of demons. He crushes the silent-illumination heretics of today, and massacres the heterodox blind monks of this generation. This filthy blind old shaveplate adds more foulness still to foulness." Hakuin Zenji, Self Portrait

I could do this whole discussion using Christian, Jewish, Buddhist, or Taoist Philosophy too. I like zen though because it is neutral. But here I go. "I am the way, the truth and the life no one comes to the Father but by me" The way, the truth and the life are in each one of us. This makes us holy and it is how we approach God (Father/Mother : El +Elat : Yahweh + his Asherah: Abba Emma). The Taoist symbol is the closest description to God than any name and all names are just descriptions. One people one God many names. Many realities to describe the experience. You see now at this moment right now I am a zen prophet ever heard of such a thing? The reason I used that famous quote is because it trancends religion. Read it as you are saying it yourself with no Jesus involved. Change Father to God for clarity.
It is an affirmation of self. How I live my life is how people perceive me and my relationship with the Creator and Creation. This is the ideal self, a motivated self. When you are reading me it is you though how do you live your life? Do you understand the way? Do you know the truth? Do you live the life? Do you know God and does God know you? If you and I all discover the answers we can read the line as we ending with us.
When you live this life you attract people who want to know more and they then begin their own search and then you begin to have an Enlightened Anarchy. Ghandi beleived in it to. That is the Messiah everyone standing as one.
The world would change for the better poeple just don't understand their own power, the power of Self. I beleive in Jesus and the teachings that are actually his but it's hard to beleive he'll come flying in on the clouds and save us when we can save ourselves it's in our power and always has been.

"A man gains enlightenment and becomes crazy, a crazy man gains enlightenment and becomes a man again"

I crossed to the other shore and then came back. The other shore is complete emptyness inside of you it is pleasant and it is numb at the same time. You have no cares for anything not even your family yet you share affinity with everything. I chose life there is no need to live a living death it will come for me in its time anyway.
I think that is what makes me unique. I lived and understood the riddle and that was enough. It cost me my family everything that is what true enlightenment does it strips you of everything until there is only you. I didn't want to become a beggar because it is not understood in Canada the same way it is in Tibet and other similar countries. If you want to truly follow Jesus it is the same path you have to give everything away and follow an almost identical path. How few people actually do this for real. Shouldn't they be provided for because they absolutly hate money and the false concepts of power yet they are still human and part of our society. All I ask for in life is food and water and a roof over my head. Some friends and family close by. And to teach the wisdom I have accumulated over my lifes journey. I offer it for free. People can take me as they will it bothers me not.

I will share this before I lost everything like Job I was sitting in my Kung fu studio late at night praying and pleading for my answers to my path in life. There were three overhead flourescent lights in the studio one was out on the far right I was under the middle one and then a voice in my head said " You are completely surrounded by darkness(then the left light went out no kidding) but you are sitting in the light. Do you have to lose everything to realize you never had anything at all? The kingdom of darkness is like the giant Goliath the kingdom of light like the shepard David what will you do?" I answered out loud 'where's my sling?" The voice then said "If you follow this course you shall surely die."(eventually I did symbolically die) I answered "Then I will be in good company." Then over the next 9 years I slowly gained incredible insights to my questions but I lost absolutely everything. And I have never been happier my outlook on the world has changed for the better. Life isn't so bad it's better than enlightenment. My only dissapointment was having to leave my son in a different province for awhile. I am a hermit right now about to introduce myself back into society and chose this site because of Mr. Icke. I have listened to him and others like him for years some awakenings for me have come from him and others like him that's how it works.

Is this self prophesy or divine I don't know, anyone who has experienced fate in action will know how I felt through the whole process everwhere I turned there where walls. All I know is I learned to pass through them but I couldn't leave any attachments to them. I am alway manic in a sense. I don't like the word and I don't like that know one really knows what this is so they medicate it to go away. No one likes you happy and confident it's not like them, they say it's not like you but it is you. You have to be crazy to become poor to fight for the poor. I am most likely misdiagnosed because I take almost no medication and my episodes so to say were just like what I am doing on this website sharing my insights and just hanging out in the spirit. Without my ex wife life is good her and her church put me in the hospital they even wanted to exorsize me it was a laugh. All for saying what I am saying in this site. I just want to talk so now I am talking if anyone wants me to stop I will.
'

Peace

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Old 13-09-2010, 12:31 PM   #53
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"In the realm of the thousand Buddhas he is hated by the thousand Buddhas: Among the crowd of demons he is detested by the crowd of demons. He crushes the silent-illumination heretics of today, and massacres the heterodox blind monks of this generation. This filthy blind old shaveplate adds more foulness still to foulness." Hakuin Zenji, Self Portrait
The blind monks he talks of are the main practitioners of Zen these days more than any others. The doe-eyed new age hippies dressed up in their black robes.
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Old 13-09-2010, 10:06 PM   #54
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I agree. If this koan was written in the bible it would be considered a prophesy for all generations all koans are. My introduction to Ch'an(Zen comes from Ch'an, Ch'an comes from Shaolin) was through Direct Transmission by living, learning and teaching in a kung fu studio for three years in my early twenties I had no money I had moved to a different city for my Master whose lineage derives from his direct Teacher a High Ranking Monk forced into exile during the late twenties after the destruction of the Southern Shaolin Temple. After I moved out of the studio it was still always my home I just slept somewhere else. I never read about Zen until I left my Teacher years later and went out on my own. All the reading did was confirm what I had been doing for years. Meditation and more meditation, breathing and more breathing until it became natural. No need to sit anymore. All I do is live and practice now. Shaolin is the only thing fate couldn't strip from me. I beleive it must be trained as one to really understand. When you move with the Tao and are still with Ch'an you are at one with creator and creation. I take a ch'an master that is not a kung fu and chi kung master with a grain of salt. They must know and practice at least Yi Jin Jing(The muscle change classics)with sitting at peace. As for God nothing inside my mind (ch'an)can confirm or deny the existence. For me it has been external things that have proven it to me. There is a powerful dark energy or force and there is a neutral powerful positive energy or force. The negative force is always pushing the positive always pulling. Call them Satan and God if you will. All I know is that if they decide to mess with you watch out ignoring them won't make them go away. Non beleif turns to beleif in a hurry when pictures fly off the wall and stuff. You know what I mean? I named my studio Tian Dao Shaolin Kung Fu literally translated it means "God in Heavens way is Shaolin kung fu". I plan to reopen my doors so to speak again in the next year or so until then I want to talk and listen not as a master but as a person. There is no easy road to Enlightenment but awakenings are a different story. It is awakenings and mania that this site is really discussing and that is where my interests lie, because I find them as intriguing and profound as they are surreal and disturbing. They are way better than koans well, mabye they are the real koans I don't know that is what I wish to find out and confirm through discussion.

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Old 15-09-2010, 11:17 PM   #55
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Actually upon reflection I agree it is zen sickness. As I go through the days now I try to stay in the moment. Even thinking about manias can create manias. I read my postings originally I was just an informed poetic voice. Then I found myself trying to prove my experiences had some validity. To toy with the concept though creates circular thoughts which create manic thoughts. What would my journey been like without being bi polar. Truly being bi polar makes everything harder. I post this because I think I found the answer I was looking for. Maybe manias are best forgotten like passing clouds. There are some places the mind shouldn't go and dwell on.

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Old 21-09-2010, 07:39 PM   #56
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Hi I just found this site and would like to add to this post for the benifit of others like me. I am a 41 year old Ch’an master. I have practiced Ch’an (Zen)for 20 years. In that time I have had 4 manic episodes or spirit walks as I call them. I had been teaching Shaolin Kung fu and Ch’an for 10 years desperate in my journey to enlightenment when I had my first awakening. The Tao filled me, the Holy spirit entered me and I experienced a whole new world of little miracles. It was and still is like perceiving the world as a movie where everything is in place just for you to experience it and own it and at the same time realizing that everyone is experiencing the same thing in their own perception. I am a Christian that was never part of a church, a Jew who is a gentile and a Buddhist who follows the Tao. I never realized this before my awakening and now am very comfortable with it. I tried to tell my loved ones of my experience and new understandings but they couldn’t understand me for I only spoke in Koans, parables, riddles or metaphors. That is how I was demonstrating my new found understanding and I ended up in the hospital. They treated me well always have but the first couple times I was discouraged I had shed my ego, understood that the Christ or Buddha was in each of us. I had looked into my nature and found them there but was told I was delusional.

So I became one with Love anyway but love hurts it can lead to the deepest suffering. I had to shed my suffering again my Being answered with a mania. Once again a wall had shattered for I truly heard Isaiah when he prophesied “ From the suffering and anguish of his soul he shall see the light” I saw the light and was healed. I had fought tooth and nail with my demons and had emerged victorious too bad they weren’t the only demons I would have to wrestle. Unlike Jacob I had to wrestle with Satan and God I lost the fight I died in the battle but like a phoenix rising from the ashes I awoke the next morning in the hospital alive. No I never tried to commit suicide and never have but I had been fighting a mental and spiritual battle with them for weeks in the end I was tired and God said he would destroy me, there was nothing I could do, I never felt weak I felt at peace. I fell asleep in the hospital waiting to never wake up but I did. I was reborn knowing instinctively Hell and Heaven were both here on earth they were within me just as God and Satan were. We are God or we are Satan moment to moment one to the other, we control our existence as much as a tree does but we are free just like the tree is. They say a tree gave us this knowledge.

Existence gave us this knowledge, sentience or being gave us perception of it and perception is relative. Spirit walks shatter your sense of reality because you are hypervigilant, you have been fasting and not sleeping, you are hearing voices and seeing visions, all while consuming large quantities of marijuana and alcohol. Reality is truly shattered when in a sober manic state you meet strangers who are in on the game and you are not. Mainly the homeless. These people will come up to you in these times and know and do things they just shouldn’t know and do. You now have an understanding of no understanding where everything can not possibly be understood by me and yet things are working and things happen to guide me along so that’s enough because anymore would drive me insane. I learned we should each focus on our own little part of creation and existence if everyone did this soon the world would be a clean and secure place to live.

My politics changed from these experiences as well I went from no politics to realizing I have always been practicing “Enlightened Anarchy” but using real enlightenment instead of philosophical enlightenment. I also do not need a Temple to recognize me for my credentials awakenings come and go but true enlightenment is instantaneous and forever. Ch’an is me, I am Ch’an. God is the creator and creation. God and I are one. Made in this image I am and I am eternal. There are myriad I’s who form the We. When We becomes One that is the Anointed One. Peace will reign but not yet while the prophets and saints are put into bondage. The visionaries of old we praise while we persecute those of the present. It was the same then what should change now I suppose. It is the suffering and the search for it’s release that create manias. Hatching a real dragon’s egg within.

So in one sense no suffering no enlightenment. In water currents are life and stagnation is death it is the same for humans. Since we are mainly water it is fitting to use this analogy for we are more at one with water than anything else. The balance between life and death in water and man is oxygen levels. Suffering like moving water maintains the balance the oxygen is spirit. Spirit is strengthened by suffering. Issues that are burdensome are resolved. A numbness overpowers fear and compassion takes over. Social causes become of greater importance. With perseverance comes courage and then true humility. There will always be suffering it is how we perceive it that is important. Perception is reality. I walk in a dream in which I can’t fall asleep or awake but I am lucid and content.

As you can see by this writing that I am not crazy just a little eccentric. Many of the people who read this will think he has been diagnosed as being Bi Polar 1 with mixed episodes he’s crazy, listen to his ideas. Religion wants him to beleive in their Icons to be saved but when he acts and lives like them he is nuts. Yes I am saying Jesus, Moses, Buddha and Lao tsu (and all the other prophets)were most likely Bi polar and I and others like me are the living proof of that. That is why I write this on this interesting posting site. I put in 20 years of my life training and teaching this stuff. It would be awkward if I couldn’t come up with the goods. I met more patients in the ward coming down who had a better understanding than most priests, monks and rabbi’s.

That is what scares the institutions that are there to protect them and help them through these so called crisis’s. It’s only a crisis to the institution because the manic is usely better read than the heirarchy and existing in a abstract mind state which is frightening to those who are not comfortable with infinitness. Talking about something and having direct experience of the subject are two different things and most clergy the people who could help intercede in these times don't have the experience and know little of the subject. A subject they are supposed to be masters of. They choose to shun the living prophets and embrace only the dead ones. Putting them in hospitals and telling them they are mad. How many insights and visions have been crushed so no one may hear them. Manias should be recorded if possible even the ugly ones so much wisdom would be gained if this was done.

Please note that a mania and a psychotic episode are two different conditions. It is manias that should be studied. From my own experience if you let a mania run its course by controlling it mentally with love you will not have a phycotic episode. If external negativity is present it will alter the manias course to becoming psychotic so the handling of the situation must done with compassion and understanding.

What a manic needs is a controled environment that will safely allow the mania to run it's full course using psychoanalysis, psychotherapy and minimal medication. Religions should take responsibility and offer comfort and aid as well. All a manic recieves at this point in time is negativity, resentment and lots of medication. This is why there are so many negative episodes as opposed to positive ones. It is all about self empowerment but when the self and power are removed what is left? This is the greatest hurdle for the bi polar person in treatment today. My answer to them is they are always there use them or not. Make sure to journal your experiences and insights as well most will be crazy but there will be real gems. I write poems for my journal. Even my dreams are recorded there. I also chart my moods to learn my cycles. It's all about balance but we live in two worlds(depression/anxiety and mania)so balance is hard to acheive. Meditation is the answer to those who will listen. Meditation and Contemplation they are the only way to mend the scars of the conscience. So the sufferer can heal and move on to a wonderful balanced life. Mania is a living dream and must be interpreted as one.

My point here I guess is that society tells us be spiritual and be happy but when you become spiritual they put you on pills which make you unhappy. I take all my pills but I don't let the doctors push me around I take just enough to keep me a little up. Learn to diagnose yourself I do. You know your self better than any doctor. There are lots of Shrinks find one that is compassionate and is willing to work with you as a team player not one who will take charge of you.

So to those who need comfort in your after confusion just chill and think about it for what it was or whatever it meant to you. It is a gift that is treated like a curse. Think about this for one moment every one of Paul's Fruit of the Spirit are exhibited in a mania whether others believe it or not( True speaking in tongues would be speaking in metaphors they can be interpereted. Maybe manias were Pauls thorn.). Everything really did happen to you as you perceived it. It is not what happens but what you are thinking when it happens that makes a miracle.

“Can you see the lightening flashing in my eyes, hear the thunder roaring in my heart? I wish it would rain”

Peace out

Lone Flute Mountain Mist

As I read this the last 5 months of my life became alot more clear.

One thing you said really called out to me, the part about homeless people, this actually happened with me, I had a conversation with a toothless person on the street, they at first seemed just drunk, but began saying things that almost brought me to tears.

How do you recover after your "spirit walk" is interrupted by hospitals / medication / people trying to slow you down? I feel like I am lost because my journey was not completed.

Would love to PM and get your opinions / thoughts, thanks.
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Old 24-09-2010, 12:44 PM   #57
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Old 24-09-2010, 03:27 PM   #58
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great ceasar's ghost! i just started watching the series of vids bipolar or waking up.....came over to the icke forum and found this thread. i have been diagnosed as bipolar. it came after a psychotic break right after my son joined us. my meds are very helpful and have been on them for a couple of years now. i am not saying that psych treatment will work for everyone, but it has helped. in the past 2 years i have been through hallucinations, mania, extreme depression, and have had what i believe to be divine messages, i also have been through hypnogagia, which is not a harmful condition, its just a perception of spatial interruption as i am falling asleep. that started when i was 6, and has been compared to panic attacks, out of body experience, and simple partial seizures. no one really knows for sure, but it is not a medicatable condition.

here is my dilemma is this bipolar, spiritual emergency, or some other thing i havent figured out yet. i have always felt from an early age that i was different from all those around me. i still cant put my finger but something is unusually exclusive about my cognitive function. now i am not saying i am some sort guru psychic or channeler, but i do mentally recognize things other people dont. i believe i do have a higher level of consciousness. the problem is alot of fear accompanies it. i have had dreams and premonitions during sleep that are certainly real and discernable. i think the alterec mental state is a side effect of the level of awakening i have been prone too for many years. it is possible that i have just recognized it at age 28 (30 now). i am an artist and many of thoughts and perceptions come out in my work with conscious effort. do others here have any similar experiences?
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Old 26-09-2010, 08:23 PM   #59
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As I read this the last 5 months of my life became alot more clear.

One thing you said really called out to me, the part about homeless people, this actually happened with me, I had a conversation with a toothless person on the street, they at first seemed just drunk, but began saying things that almost brought me to tears.

How do you recover after your "spirit walk" is interrupted by hospitals / medication / people trying to slow you down? I feel like I am lost because my journey was not completed.

Would love to PM and get your opinions / thoughts, thanks.
Hi pikez I can give you some advice and at the same time I can discuss some issues on my mind I hope it's kind of what you're looking for.

What you have to do is pick up your journey again you're maybe a little shaken but you have to walk through the wall and that means leaving all attachments behind emotionally. You have to embrace and then let go of the experience let the subconscious mind do it's job. If something is to manifest again it will in it's own time but that does not necessarilly mean in your time. You have to make peace with the question or questions inside of you. Meditate just get comfortable any way and empty your mind and wait. It's like that name you forget then it pops up later out of nowhere. It could take years, it could take a moment. It all depends on how much you desire the answers. Just learn to watch your thoughts and then eventually guide them and bring them to light. Record them that is what a Koan is it means Public Record. It's like the Taw the mark. Once written it is sealed. Once spoken the seal is broken. Then there is revelation. Don't let others bring you down. Charge the day. You probably met an Angel(holy spirit) who possessed a person temporarily or an angel itself. When you follow the spirit it happens. Reflect on what was said it doesn't happen to everyone and it doesn't happen everyday.

What causes manias is suffering and despair. Most of it is from external sources beyond the control of the victom.
This suffering will not go away until we are free. 25% of all Canadians will suffer a serious mental breakdown that is the new statistic. 25%? What's going on with the sysyem. We don't need a revolution the system is collapsing but how many innocent cattle are slaughtered because they become ill. Thrown to the poor pen to die. The rest of the heard blindly moves on. Not even aware of the statistic, not knowing they may be the next victom. So the cattle move forward working themselves to death. Work should not be about money but about work. People are more important than money. People need to work and money is how we trade but they are for us not us for them. This is how I think the suffering and and anguish from this bad stress manifests itself.

The consciousness is like a ethereal ball. Depression is when that ball is condensed in on itself. Anxiety is the momentum of the particles within the ball. As the depression condenses the ball the momentum of the particles increases (more anxiety). Eventually the ball will implode in on itself and that is mania an massive conscious shockwave that has to settle after it's release to allow stability in the reformed consciossness. It's really just like a phoenix rising from the ashes. The life and death of the consciousness. The circle of the real and surreal. Depression is the killer manias are salvation from certain death.

If you are searching for certain answers in your life desperately it will happen sooner than later. Analyze your mania like a dream some manias do last for months in different levels. It's the lower levels that are the coolest because you're still rational with clarity and weird stuff happens. You have to ask yourself though is it worth pushing the envelope for answers you may not get in the long run. Not one of my manias were fun that is why I called them spirit walks they were long scary ordeals that I managed to survive. I learned a lot about life and myself but I would not do it again unless I had to. As for the homeless (sometimes not) telepathic,prophet dudes they are a trip but they can be of both sides some channel demonic energy, some are of God. It's like people are possessed right infront of your eyes it happens to me all the time whether I'm manic or not. You just have to learn to sense the moment and follow it. When all of the senses are attuned together at that moment things will happen even if one is not bi polar. These are miracles because at that moment what you are thinking happens you become one with all that is around you. Your thoughts are not yours you become an observer even of yourself. We are made of metal, water, air, earth we can connect and that is the fire the connection. The energies are fire; positive, negative and neutral. We share them as well, we are created in the image God but we are creation itself. Our whole being is made of the same elements and energies of creation. You can feel it if you open up to it. Our consciousness the conscious, unconscious and subconscious minds working and blending together lead by the conscience is of the same substances of creation as well. Our whole being is one. It is a trip.

Bi polar people are different in many ways escpecially in the spirit. Most of us are artists. We all have beautiful minds we just need to keep them balanced so they don't burn out through meds or from manias. Both take a toll on the whole being. Meds are a must but the correct meds and the correct dosages are the key to a fruitful life.

I spent a total of 5 months in the wards in my life and the moods dictated events throughout the time and miracles happened everyday. For a while I believed Jesus was the hospital (bringing people to life, curing the sick, bringing the dead back to life) and we needed more hospitals and less prisons. Jesus comes in many forms.

I can sense Yeshua or Satan in everyone I meet doesn't matter what religion or country they come from. It's all about Horus and Set and the scales you know. Yeshua gave the golden mean " Love God above all else and love others as you would yourself". A riddle the last part should read "and love youself for God and others love you." that is the measure loving youself. If you love yourself you will love if you hate yourself you will hate and everything inbetween reflects the level of the scales. Too much love creates to much hate and visa versa. Only when the scales are balanced are these powerful base emotions balanced and in check. These emotions are how we are manipulated but our conscience is Daniel (God's Judge) not a Government or Corporation or Spititual Influence. There is no heaven or hell. There is only eternity consciousness cannot die it can only fade away if it chooses too. So we must all choose life not worship death it will come for you in it's time " Drink, feast and be merry for tommorrow we die." A great king said that. That is how we should live everyday we only have this life, even when we do come back if we choose we won't remember the past life anyhow if we do it will only be through intuition. I beleive that is what intuition is. Past life memories buried in the subconscious.
'

We are vessels all of us, cattle to the government and vessels to the spirit world. We are spirits. That is the truth of our lives. Whoever leads our conscious mind controls the whole being. The conscious mind is influenced by the subconcious which is without time. For example Dejavu. By implanting certain thoughts into the subconscious ideas can be formed and will influence the conscious mind.

Perception and awareness are the first steps, knowledge gets you walking and with understanding you are off and running. Knowledge is power and understanding is compassion. With conscience as our guide we need no government and we need no spirit world for it will be a spirit world. The idea scares people though we like to be like cattle pulled one way pushed another as long as we are in the center of the heard we are happy. Conscience rules knowledge and understanding. Conscience is the supreme power we all have. It was given to us like breath. Know one knows where it comes from yet it exists why? It is the key to the lock of the riddle of life.

Encounters with people on the street are real whether it is a entity possessing a weak mind (usually drunk it's easier for spirits to animate the person even your friends and family if they are wasted and an entity wants to mess with you) or the person or being has a high level of conscioussness and they can tap in to things we don't understand. The third thing is angels and demons and they come in the form of people, mainly homeless, the fourth is aliens( how they fit in I'm not sure but they do, maybe they're the angels and demons) . They all intermix in their planned encounters. So you got to figure out who you are really talking to and what they want because it seems to me they just like to play with us like little toy soldiers. Everyone of them finds your confusion amusing that's their game. Though the good ones reassure you, the bad ones taunt you and the neutral just watch. That is the life of a visionary practicing discernment. They are eveywhere and one could meet them anytime. I think of Gurdjief and the mysterious sect he was invited to visit. There is way more going on in the consciousness of the world than we are aware of and some people apparently have the ability to tap right in where most of us can't. They come from all cultures they are there and seem to be attracted to some manics, maybe all I don't know.

It would be interesting to see how many people have had these encounters. They bring validity to the spiritual experience of a mania. I had an old Jewish woman one time start Blessing me out loud on the street. She appeared out of nowhere at a bus stop one morning trying to trade a bus ticket for money. It was two fifty and I gave her a five. She asked if I was Jewish and I replied "No I am simply a child of God" She straightened up and started blessing me out loud in the middle of the city. I was manic at the time and on a mission for God. It built confidence in my mission which was to walk around the city and meet people. I would walk for days watching and listening. Sometimes they would approach and keep me company total strangers all homeless in appearence we could talk with telepathy. I can't do it on my own but they can do it. They can get inside of your head and talk you think something back and a thought answers you. It is weird because they will speak to let you know your not crazy then go back to telepathy. Then go on there way. I have met a couple more than once. Strange stuff when it happens twice with the same people.

Although it could all have just been Satan messing with me and God trying to help me out I am used to that. I have a big mouth and like to spout off in the spirit world as well as the real world. Call on these forces and challenge them for real and see what happens in your life. I do it all the time. I struggle with them both for different reasons. I was born free in spirit and free in mind my body was owned already. I am a slave who cries freedom. There's too many yokes. It's a heavy burdon we carry in two worlds.

Peace and Sincerity

This is from my first mania.

Half-Life

I
Long dark shadows
fall across the rolling hills,
scattered with the fallen
leaves of lost spring.
The failing light
appears to offer no hope
of better times to come,
as darkness announces night.
All becomes black
clouds draw in from the west,
until the moon rises,
full and haunting.
Along with it,
the Hunter and his faithful
Hounds, warding off Saturn
who charges astride Taurus.
Horns to the twins,
in whose house Jupiter rests.
A drama unfolding
in the heavens.
Until the clouds,
shimmering adrift, cover
the sky, obscuring the
view. Once again darkness reigns.


II

“Where you go I go”, I said
and here I am in the dark,
going where I know not. Just
groping in the dark by placing
one foot in front of the other.
Lucidity springs forth from
out of mirages, in
brief glimpses, never enough
to wake from the dream. Enough
though, to embolden one to them.
Now nothing is left, save hope
and faith; twin pillars upon
which the arch of love resides.
The door leading to salvation
and to life in the wilderness.
It is in this wilderness
I find myself wandering,
in search of the land of milk
and honey, while eating manna
provided for along the way
and temptation stirs the beast
within. The nature of sin.
I do not fear death, but I
fear this beast who’s vile
nature takes over, while
you watch on in futility until
it has ceased and you’re a cripple,
left without even a crutch.
Right now I am fine, but laters...
Laters come all too frequently.

III

Loneliness,
sometimes it seems
my only companion.
That and despair;
The burdens of my guilt.
They force me to live
like a shadow,
skulking from the light,
neither finding comfort
in it’s warm embrace
nor surrendering
to the ever
encroaching darkness.
I am lonely.
Though not always alone;
for the light waits
patiently for me
to stand and walk to it.
The darkness waits as well.
Looming just out of reach.
For when I give in,
it wants to be there.
Often we meet
at these times of
temptation.


IV

Many times.
Many times, I’ve confronted those eyes.
Those immortal smiling eyes.
In them
I always saw
the other nature;
the base part,
which shadows all reason.
Impudent,
they glitter with mirth.
A gaiety born of anticipation,
knowing that I know what they mean.
I long to escape
those old gleaming eyes
that mock and taunt me,
goading me to stay.
They show in many places.
I know them instantly,
wherever I see them.

v

I have been dressed up
And led to where
I did not want to go.
It is hell,
With walls resounding pain.
Where confusion wails
Through corridors
And despair is covered
With a friendly smile.
Awake though dreamy,
Vacant eyes Gaze away
Indifferent. There is no
Mistaking their reality.
Lips move on faces
Masked in grief,
As one voice cries out
In the darkness.
These are not lesser human beings.
They are only confused
And they are scared
And they are all alone.
For they are the caged.
Broken remnants of society,
Locked away and
Forgotten, save
The company they keep.
For them there is now
Only the pretense of life.
The only hope they have
is in the unseen, Because
all that they see is suffering.

VI

How did I get here?
I would say anger and love.
The madness I flee from
And embrace. They have had
A stronghold on me my entire life.
Sometimes I even let myself believe
They belong together,
But they don’t. I believe anger
Comes from poverty.
To be poor is to suffer loss,
To be destitute.
In this desperation anger
Is usually misplaced
And misdirected toward love.
But whom can you blame
If not those whom you love
And yourself when you are trying
To hold together shreds
Of dignity in defeat.
It is no wonder the prisons
And asylums are full
For who doesn’t know
The sting of these two hornets.
As to the poor As to me,
All that is left is the unseen.
It was the unseen that brought
Me to this place. It is
The unseen that will see me through.

VII

I have always known that the
answer to all of
my problems has lay in me.
That all I had to do
was make a choice, a task I’d
put off far too long.
My journey’s been a long one
and still I have a
long way to go ‘til it’s end.
I have gained much on the way
and am finally ready to
apply this knowledge.
Trying to learn from my pain
and, eventually,
become who I want to be
by letting go of the past
and just, simply, moving on.
Forgiving myself
and not dwelling on what was -
just stumbling along,
wearily in a half-life,
musing at the phantasm
that they call reality -
but learning from it.

Last edited by passerbye999; 27-09-2010 at 08:33 AM.
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Old 27-09-2010, 07:28 PM   #60
pikez
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Quote:
Originally Posted by passerbye999 View Post
Hi pikez I can give you some advice and at the same time I can discuss some issues on my mind I hope it's kind of what you're looking for.

What you have to do is pick up your journey again you're maybe a little shaken but you have to walk through the wall and that means leaving all attachments behind emotionally. You have to embrace and then let go of the experience let the subconscious mind do it's job. If something is to manifest again it will in it's own time but that does not necessarilly mean in your time. You have to make peace with the question or questions inside of you. Meditate just get comfortable any way and empty your mind and wait. It's like that name you forget then it pops up later out of nowhere. It could take years, it could take a moment. It all depends on how much you desire the answers. Just learn to watch your thoughts and then eventually guide them and bring them to light. Record them that is what a Koan is it means Public Record. It's like the Taw the mark. Once written it is sealed. Once spoken the seal is broken. Then there is revelation. Don't let others bring you down. Charge the day. You probably met an Angel(holy spirit) who possessed a person temporarily or an angel itself. When you follow the spirit it happens. Reflect on what was said it doesn't happen to everyone and it doesn't happen everyday.

What causes manias is suffering and despair. Most of it is from external sources beyond the control of the victom.
This suffering will not go away until we are free. 25% of all Canadians will suffer a serious mental breakdown that is the new statistic. 25%? What's going on with the sysyem. We don't need a revolution the system is collapsing but how many innocent cattle are slaughtered because they become ill. Thrown to the poor pen to die. The rest of the heard blindly moves on. Not even aware of the statistic, not knowing they may be the next victom. So the cattle move forward working themselves to death. Work should not be about money but about work. People are more important than money. People need to work and money is how we trade but they are for us not us for them. This is how I think the suffering and and anguish from this bad stress manifests itself.

The consciousness is like a ethereal ball. Depression is when that ball is condensed in on itself. Anxiety is the momentum of the particles within the ball. As the depression condenses the ball the momentum of the particles increases (more anxiety). Eventually the ball will implode in on itself and that is mania an massive conscious shockwave that has to settle after it's release to allow stability in the reformed consciossness. It's really just like a phoenix rising from the ashes. The life and death of the consciousness. The circle of the real and surreal. Depression is the killer manias are salvation from certain death.

If you are searching for certain answers in your life desperately it will happen sooner than later. Analyze your mania like a dream some manias do last for months in different levels. It's the lower levels that are the coolest because you're still rational with clarity and weird stuff happens. You have to ask yourself though is it worth pushing the envelope for answers you may not get in the long run. Not one of my manias were fun that is why I called them spirit walks they were long scary ordeals that I managed to survive. I learned a lot about life and myself but I would not do it again unless I had to. As for the homeless (sometimes not) telepathic,prophet dudes they are a trip but they can be of both sides some channel demonic energy, some are of God. It's like people are possessed right infront of your eyes it happens to me all the time whether I'm manic or not. You just have to learn to sense the moment and follow it. When all of the senses are attuned together at that moment things will happen even if one is not bi polar. These are miracles because at that moment what you are thinking happens you become one with all that is around you. Your thoughts are not yours you become an observer even of yourself. We are made of metal, water, air, earth we can connect and that is the fire the connection. The energies are fire; positive, negative and neutral. We share them as well, we are created in the image God but we are creation itself. Our whole being is made of the same elements and energies of creation. You can feel it if you open up to it. Our consciousness the conscious, unconscious and subconscious minds working and blending together lead by the conscience is of the same substances of creation as well. Our whole being is one. It is a trip.

Bi polar people are different in many ways escpecially in the spirit. Most of us are artists. We all have beautiful minds we just need to keep them balanced so they don't burn out through meds or from manias. Both take a toll on the whole being. Meds are a must but the correct meds and the correct dosages are the key to a fruitful life.

I spent a total of 5 months in the wards in my life and the moods dictated events throughout the time and miracles happened everyday. For a while I believed Jesus was the hospital (bringing people to life, curing the sick, bringing the dead back to life) and we needed more hospitals and less prisons. Jesus comes in many forms.

I can sense Yeshua or Satan in everyone I meet doesn't matter what religion or country they come from. It's all about Horus and Set and the scales you know. Yeshua gave the golden mean " Love God above all else and love others as you would yourself". A riddle the last part should read "and love youself for God and others love you." that is the measure loving youself. If you love yourself you will love if you hate yourself you will hate and everything inbetween reflects the level of the scales. Too much love creates to much hate and visa versa. Only when the scales are balanced are these powerful base emotions balanced and in check. These emotions are how we are manipulated but our conscience is Daniel (God's Judge) not a Government or Corporation or Spititual Influence. There is no heaven or hell. There is only eternity consciousness cannot die it can only fade away if it chooses too. So we must all choose life not worship death it will come for you in it's time " Drink, feast and be merry for tommorrow we die." A great king said that. That is how we should live everyday we only have this life, even when we do come back if we choose we won't remember the past life anyhow if we do it will only be through intuition. I beleive that is what intuition is. Past life memories buried in the subconscious.
'

We are vessels all of us, cattle to the government and vessels to the spirit world. We are spirits. That is the truth of our lives. Whoever leads our conscious mind controls the whole being. The conscious mind is influenced by the subconcious which is without time. For example Dejavu. By implanting certain thoughts into the subconscious ideas can be formed and will influence the conscious mind.

Perception and awareness are the first steps, knowledge gets you walking and with understanding you are off and running. Knowledge is power and understanding is compassion. With conscience as our guide we need no government and we need no spirit world for it will be a spirit world. The idea scares people though we like to be like cattle pulled one way pushed another as long as we are in the center of the heard we are happy. Conscience rules knowledge and understanding. Conscience is the supreme power we all have. It was given to us like breath. Know one knows where it comes from yet it exists why? It is the key to the lock of the riddle of life.

Encounters with people on the street are real whether it is a entity possessing a weak mind (usually drunk it's easier for spirits to animate the person even your friends and family if they are wasted and an entity wants to mess with you) or the person or being has a high level of conscioussness and they can tap in to things we don't understand. The third thing is angels and demons and they come in the form of people, mainly homeless, the fourth is aliens( how they fit in I'm not sure but they do, maybe they're the angels and demons) . They all intermix in their planned encounters. So you got to figure out who you are really talking to and what they want because it seems to me they just like to play with us like little toy soldiers. Everyone of them finds your confusion amusing that's their game. Though the good ones reassure you, the bad ones taunt you and the neutral just watch. That is the life of a visionary practicing discernment. They are eveywhere and one could meet them anytime. I think of Gurdjief and the mysterious sect he was invited to visit. There is way more going on in the consciousness of the world than we are aware of and some people apparently have the ability to tap right in where most of us can't. They come from all cultures they are there and seem to be attracted to some manics, maybe all I don't know.

It would be interesting to see how many people have had these encounters. They bring validity to the spiritual experience of a mania. I had an old Jewish woman one time start Blessing me out loud on the street. She appeared out of nowhere at a bus stop one morning trying to trade a bus ticket for money. It was two fifty and I gave her a five. She asked if I was Jewish and I replied "No I am simply a child of God" She straightened up and started blessing me out loud in the middle of the city. I was manic at the time and on a mission for God. It built confidence in my mission which was to walk around the city and meet people. I would walk for days watching and listening. Sometimes they would approach and keep me company total strangers all homeless in appearence we could talk with telepathy. I can't do it on my own but they can do it. They can get inside of your head and talk you think something back and a thought answers you. It is weird because they will speak to let you know your not crazy then go back to telepathy. Then go on there way. I have met a couple more than once. Strange stuff when it happens twice with the same people.

Although it could all have just been Satan messing with me and God trying to help me out I am used to that. I have a big mouth and like to spout off in the spirit world as well as the real world. Call on these forces and challenge them for real and see what happens in your life. I do it all the time. I struggle with them both for different reasons. I was born free in spirit and free in mind my body was owned already. I am a slave who cries freedom. There's too many yokes. It's a heavy burdon we carry in two worlds.

Peace and Sincerity

This is from my first mania.

Half-Life

I
Long dark shadows
fall across the rolling hills,
scattered with the fallen
leaves of lost spring.
The failing light
appears to offer no hope
of better times to come,
as darkness announces night.
All becomes black
clouds draw in from the west,
until the moon rises,
full and haunting.
Along with it,
the Hunter and his faithful
Hounds, warding off Saturn
who charges astride Taurus.
Horns to the twins,
in whose house Jupiter rests.
A drama unfolding
in the heavens.
Until the clouds,
shimmering adrift, cover
the sky, obscuring the
view. Once again darkness reigns.


II

“Where you go I go”, I said
and here I am in the dark,
going where I know not. Just
groping in the dark by placing
one foot in front of the other.
Lucidity springs forth from
out of mirages, in
brief glimpses, never enough
to wake from the dream. Enough
though, to embolden one to them.
Now nothing is left, save hope
and faith; twin pillars upon
which the arch of love resides.
The door leading to salvation
and to life in the wilderness.
It is in this wilderness
I find myself wandering,
in search of the land of milk
and honey, while eating manna
provided for along the way
and temptation stirs the beast
within. The nature of sin.
I do not fear death, but I
fear this beast who’s vile
nature takes over, while
you watch on in futility until
it has ceased and you’re a cripple,
left without even a crutch.
Right now I am fine, but laters...
Laters come all too frequently.

III

Loneliness,
sometimes it seems
my only companion.
That and despair;
The burdens of my guilt.
They force me to live
like a shadow,
skulking from the light,
neither finding comfort
in it’s warm embrace
nor surrendering
to the ever
encroaching darkness.
I am lonely.
Though not always alone;
for the light waits
patiently for me
to stand and walk to it.
The darkness waits as well.
Looming just out of reach.
For when I give in,
it wants to be there.
Often we meet
at these times of
temptation.


IV

Many times.
Many times, I’ve confronted those eyes.
Those immortal smiling eyes.
In them
I always saw
the other nature;
the base part,
which shadows all reason.
Impudent,
they glitter with mirth.
A gaiety born of anticipation,
knowing that I know what they mean.
I long to escape
those old gleaming eyes
that mock and taunt me,
goading me to stay.
They show in many places.
I know them instantly,
wherever I see them.

v

I have been dressed up
And led to where
I did not want to go.
It is hell,
With walls resounding pain.
Where confusion wails
Through corridors
And despair is covered
With a friendly smile.
Awake though dreamy,
Vacant eyes Gaze away
Indifferent. There is no
Mistaking their reality.
Lips move on faces
Masked in grief,
As one voice cries out
In the darkness.
These are not lesser human beings.
They are only confused
And they are scared
And they are all alone.
For they are the caged.
Broken remnants of society,
Locked away and
Forgotten, save
The company they keep.
For them there is now
Only the pretense of life.
The only hope they have
is in the unseen, Because
all that they see is suffering.

VI

How did I get here?
I would say anger and love.
The madness I flee from
And embrace. They have had
A stronghold on me my entire life.
Sometimes I even let myself believe
They belong together,
But they don’t. I believe anger
Comes from poverty.
To be poor is to suffer loss,
To be destitute.
In this desperation anger
Is usually misplaced
And misdirected toward love.
But whom can you blame
If not those whom you love
And yourself when you are trying
To hold together shreds
Of dignity in defeat.
It is no wonder the prisons
And asylums are full
For who doesn’t know
The sting of these two hornets.
As to the poor As to me,
All that is left is the unseen.
It was the unseen that brought
Me to this place. It is
The unseen that will see me through.

VII

I have always known that the
answer to all of
my problems has lay in me.
That all I had to do
was make a choice, a task I’d
put off far too long.
My journey’s been a long one
and still I have a
long way to go ‘til it’s end.
I have gained much on the way
and am finally ready to
apply this knowledge.
Trying to learn from my pain
and, eventually,
become who I want to be
by letting go of the past
and just, simply, moving on.
Forgiving myself
and not dwelling on what was -
just stumbling along,
wearily in a half-life,
musing at the phantasm
that they call reality -
but learning from it.
Thanks for the response, I actually did pick up my journey again the day I posted to you, I had an amazing beautiful experience that day that I hope I can feel forever inside my soul.

Thank you for your posts they are great I love reading them.
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