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Old 06-04-2014, 11:31 AM   #41
mr sparkles
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So, how do you open your eyes to the truth?
At the start i was feeling overwhelmed by the volume of information i was getting from various sources named on this thread especially the ones Rebecca named. There was also a lot of stuff from other "spiritual teachers" i was listening to that wasn't true and at the time i felt incredibly confused trying to make sense of it all. Recently though i've just developed an inner knowing that seems to have sorted the good information from the bullshit which i'm now disregarding.

It sounds weird but i can't really explain how this works other than to say i just know. I think you reach a point where you develop a bullshit filter and can sift through all the information you've gathered and everything suddenly falls into place.

Just keep following your path and if you want to know the truth it'll become clear to you although it might not seem that way to start with as i said above.

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Old 06-04-2014, 11:35 AM   #42
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Thanks, yeah i've come to realise i can't leave or ignore any parts of me that i don't like. It just becomes a bigger issue until you face up to it and accept it as part of yourself, although i'm not yet able to love that part of me i'm beginning to accept it. Self loathing is something i'm struggling with as i gave myself a very hard time when i was still asleep for being different. I now realise i was different in a good way but my old patterns of calling myself a "weirdo" and "failure" still haunt me and i need to stop that destructive behaviour.



Thanks again Vern, believe me i'm trying to surrender the best i can. The initial burst of abundance when i first woke up dried up when the dark night started and i now find myself having to borrow from my sister at times just to feed myself. The feelings of love and bliss have also vanished which is something i can't wait to get back. As you say i guess it'll all return when i've dealt with the blockages.
Youre just not used to being you. Nothing strange in a world full of programing, peer pressure and other methods. First thing you do is identify the part of yourself you dont like, then ask youself why. You dont have to like what you find buy at least you can know what it is, once you know that you can work on it and make it whatever you want it to be. I used to be very auto destructive, when I found out why that was so it started getting better.
Youre not a failure everyone is good at something, again its about finding that something.
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The blind stare with a million pair of eyes, looking hard but wont realise that they will never see the peace.
Better a grave, then a slave.
A law must not be obeyed if it is inhuman, inhuman laws are a method of enslavement.
The hardest place to do good is in the silence of your own heart.
Those who dig holes underneath others fall into them themselves.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature...&v=bWXazVhlyxQ
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Old 06-04-2014, 11:48 AM   #43
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So, how do you open your eyes to the truth?
As I see it, its about seeing this world and its events as they really are. For example, a short time before violence started in Ukraine Brzezinski attended a pannel(meeting) with the "opposition leaders". It was no surprise what came after that, when you start to see beyond mainstream propaganda bullshit you dont need to wait to hear it on the news, you just know whats gonna happen. Thats why you need to know yourself (the truth) so you can know your enemy (your enslavers).
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The blind stare with a million pair of eyes, looking hard but wont realise that they will never see the peace.
Better a grave, then a slave.
A law must not be obeyed if it is inhuman, inhuman laws are a method of enslavement.
The hardest place to do good is in the silence of your own heart.
Those who dig holes underneath others fall into them themselves.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature...&v=bWXazVhlyxQ
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Old 06-04-2014, 11:51 AM   #44
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Youre just not used to being you. Nothing strange in a world full of programing, peer pressure and other methods. First thing you do is identify the part of yourself you dont like, then ask youself why. You dont have to like what you find buy at least you can know what it is, once you know that you can work on it and make it whatever you want it to be. I used to be very auto destructive, when I found out why that was so it started getting better.
Youre not a failure everyone is good at something, again its about finding that something.
The parts i don't like are just bad wiring i put into place after some unpleasant childhood experiences. I'm currently trying to fix these by sheding light on them and getting to the bottom of them. Neil Kramer describes this process brilliantly saying wounds can be passed on from one person to another and they just keep going until you break the cycle and stop that wound from being passed on by you. I think it's wounds i need to heal and the bad wiring i've used to deal with those wounds which means getting to the very bottom of them.

And thanks, yeah i know i'm not a failure but again that is just bad wiring that i'm currently trying to fix and i'm sure whatever i'm here to do will become apparent at some point soon. You sound as if you've already fixed yours so you'll have a fair idea of how deep some of this wiring can go. I guess the self pity i was feeling was another case of this.

Thanks for your support and knowledge, it's appreciated greatly.
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Old 06-04-2014, 12:00 PM   #45
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The parts i don't like are just bad wiring i put into place after some unpleasant childhood experiences. I'm currently trying to fix these by sheding light on them and getting to the bottom of them. Neil Kramer describes this process brilliantly saying wounds can be passed on from one person to another and they just keep going until you break the cycle and stop that wound from being passed on by you. I think it's wounds i need to heal and the bad wiring i've used to deal with those wounds which means getting to the very bottom of them.

And thanks, yeah i know i'm not a failure but again that is just bad wiring that i'm currently trying to fix and i'm sure whatever i'm here to do will become apparent at some point soon. You sound as if you've already fixed yours so you'll have a fair idea of how deep some of this wiring can go. I guess the self pity i was feeling was another case of this.

Thanks for your support and knowledge, it's appreciated greatly.
Everythimg is passed on via energy, genes. Alcholism can also be passed on but its up to the one who "recives" it, to break the cycle. Remember if something looks, feels good to you(your heart) if it brings you joy, that feeling of excitement from the inside dont wait for acceptance and approval from the outside, cause they cant see/feel what you can, at least for now, just do it. Glad I can help m8, I think youll do just fine.
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The blind stare with a million pair of eyes, looking hard but wont realise that they will never see the peace.
Better a grave, then a slave.
A law must not be obeyed if it is inhuman, inhuman laws are a method of enslavement.
The hardest place to do good is in the silence of your own heart.
Those who dig holes underneath others fall into them themselves.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature...&v=bWXazVhlyxQ
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Old 06-04-2014, 01:31 PM   #46
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I have found that this awakening process is not linear, it seems to go in spirals and if you are doing it correctly it will go up a notch.
Personally I have had a number of dark nights of the soul, in fact three major ones. The first was years ago when I read two books; Voltires Bastards and The Unconscious Civilization by John Ralston Saul a Canadian philosopher. Before this I thought politics held the key to changing our societies for the better. Saul’s books proved to me that our so called of democracy is an illusion. My world was left as a smouldering pile at my feet.
I do recommend these books even though they were written years ago and they foretold of what is going on now. Saul really has a brain the size of a planet!
From there I hoped that philosophy could set me free and at the same time I headed down the road of spiritualism. My second DNS came when I realized that all was an illusion including myself. It was months before I stabilized and tried to accept things as they were. It worked for a while, in fact a few years. However, last year it all came crashing down for no reason at all and I felt that something was wrong.
In the end I got onto an English guy who lives in the States, Neil Kramer. I ended reading his book, The Unfoldment, excellent! He warned about throwing the ego out, it made sense.
Here are two of his YouTube talks;

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1afh...uG_5xb3vLOC-sB
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vhev...tAQKX7-PI6DJpI
In these links he speaks of the different stages of awakening.
The one that I have come through, or really still coming through, is what he calls the Dark Veil. I went down that stinking rabbit hole months ago. It was something that I had been to before but this time I got the big picture. Not pretty! Went into DNT again and still sitting with it. A lot of my friends, so called, are out of my life. Never mentioned anything to them about all of this but I guess they picked up the vib and didn’t want to know.
What I am finding is very helpful and healing is swimming in a natural body of water, lake, ocean. Walking bare foot on the grass and looking up at the sky and exposing my skin to sun light. Also long bath and creative work as much as possible.
Hope this is of some help. All of own journeys are different.

That is really good advise. I realize that what I do is, I visulize my ego as a scared little kid, the kid I once was, then I gently take the ego up on my lap, rock it, counsol it, thank it for keeping me safe, thank it every time it comes up. In physical unreality, the ego is a protector, and every time it gets scared, I acknowledge the warning, and thank it for the input and assure it, 'I have/am listening'....................then do whatever .............freely and with no internal conflict. Let the ego be a Guide/Protector...............put a place at the table for it.
Also, for the changes needed, it is easier for me if my body is in motion, walking, swimming, creating, ................changes are easier in motion.
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Old 06-04-2014, 01:40 PM   #47
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Dark Night of the Soul...aka 'the dweller on the threshold'

'Crossing the abyss' by the adept...the 'triple' veiled sphere on the kabbalistic tree of life...da'ath/sirius/pluto.

Destroying your ego...relinquishing all materiality to reach god.

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Old 06-04-2014, 02:03 PM   #48
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I think you have been down a very similar path to me and seem to have found pretty much the same teachers i have been using to get through this.

Adyashanti is a new name to me though so i'll have to check out some of his stuff. I've been listening to Neils roamcasts which are absolutely brilliant if you haven't heard them. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-FJvKkeRMhc

Oh and the DMT thing you mentioned is true IMO, i had heard Graham talking about it and a few weeks later had a profound spiritual experience at exactly 3am. I seemed to get a massive rush of DMT and could see orbs floating in front of me before one passed through me giving me a chill where it done so. The veil seemed to be lifted and although it only lasted about ten minutes it was a wonderful experience.

If you need someone to talk to about this stuff please feel free to PM me as i'd be quite happy to listen to someone going through the same as me.

Thanks again.



Hey Swami, was hoping you'd drop in here and offer some advice.

I am going to try and use this to re-create myself as a better person now i have a blank canvas to work on, but i think i still have a few emotions needing to be dealt with before i can focus fully on that. I'm able to stand back and observe them to a certain extent which is helping me deal with them.

As you say "no pain, no gain", i guess i'm just having a weak spell as i'm generally quite good at dealing with the difficulties that comes along with awakening. I guess i have been taking things a bit too seriously lately as well and been guilty of forgetting it's all just an illusion and a training ground for our souls.

Thanks again Swami, i really appreciate you sharing your knowledge with me.
Thanks for that mr sparkles.

One thing i forgot to mention, progress is usually two steps forward and one step backward. The step backward is for integrating what was learned moving forward. It is necessary, life has a way of knocking us back when we are pushing to hard against the grain.

You know the forward movement time, by the enthusiasm you feel and the ease with which things happen. People often refer to the backward step as being stuck, when everything seems uphill. Its important to recognise that backward step, use it, enjoy it, chill, say fuck it and i dont give a shit anymore for a while and go for a walk and smell the roses. Trust the process, your body has great wisdom, it knows what it needs and what to do. Integration is very important and so is a time of regeneration and rest for the next part of the journey back to where you already are.
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Old 06-04-2014, 02:47 PM   #49
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So, how do you open your eyes to the truth?
Its not easy, chilled, we have a protection mechanism called denial or cognitive dissonance.

Denial filters out the unpleasant truths about ourselves, others and life.

It is the major symptom of addiction and amongst many other things we are addicted to this physical reality. The sages of the east call it attachment. It is defined as a mental illness that tells me i have not got an illness. Those deeply in denial will tell themselves everything is ok with themselves and the world. We usually loose our denial when we hit rock bottom and we see how fucked up we really are, especially true for drug addicts.

The information on this forum helps rip away our denial of the outside world. You can see it in various degrees as some accept aliens and reptiles and others dont. I am not saying all conspiracy theories are true. There is disinformation, so i need discernment and various sources of info to decide if its a lie or i am denying an unpleasant or what i consider to be a ridiculous truth.

We are all in denial to one degree or another. Removing denial is a courageous process of accepting what is unknown. If the veil was lifted totally at once we could not handle the stark truth. So its a protection mechanism and also an avoidance mechanism. Its crazy making, working with parts of myself that i cannot see out of denial or fear.

All i can do is accept that i am in denial, and learn tools to uncover it and accept the real truth of myself good and bad.

There are tools that can help, 'The Work of Byron Katie' is a process of four questions compared with the method of Zen self inquiry. It has also been compared to CBT, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, that can be done alone. Google it and look for vid on youtube.

People go into therapy to find out what it is that the cannot see about themselves that is causing their troubles. The therapist is careful not to point out the problem even if s/he sees it. The process is helping the person find the issues themselves. If some one tells you you have a problem and you cannot see it, it will be denied and even argued about.

I find that if someone criticises my behaviour, usually they are trying to help me, even if i do not know what they are talking about. So i am open to criticisim and even welcome it, it is usually done for a reason especially by a friend.

Remember the truth will set you free, but first it may piss you off and even freak you out. Its important to learn to be gentle with yourself uncovering denial, also referred to as shadow work.

Here is a thread, that i started on the shadow. It does not get much attention, because of the nature of denial, its easier to look outward than inward as we have been conditioned to ignore our inner world so that we may not find out the truth of who we really are.

http://www.davidicke.com/forum/showt...post1062047338
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Old 06-04-2014, 02:53 PM   #50
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Thanks for the info Swamideva, I'll check it all out
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Old 06-04-2014, 10:17 PM   #51
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Thanks, yeah i've come to realise i can't leave or ignore any parts of me that i don't like. It just becomes a bigger issue until you face up to it and accept it as part of yourself, although i'm not yet able to love that part of me i'm beginning to accept it. Self loathing is something i'm struggling with as i gave myself a very hard time when i was still asleep for being different. I now realise i was different in a good way but my old patterns of calling myself a "weirdo" and "failure" still haunt me and i need to stop that destructive behaviour.



Thanks again Vern, believe me i'm trying to surrender the best i can. The initial burst of abundance when i first woke up dried up when the dark night started and i now find myself having to borrow from my sister at times just to feed myself. The feelings of love and bliss have also vanished which is something i can't wait to get back. As you say i guess it'll all return when i've dealt with the blockages.
I am having it nearly as tough. The sooner that you realize the divine is actually surrendered through you to you and through then universe to you, the faster youll make progress. The mind is currently obscuring that fact.
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Old 06-04-2014, 10:19 PM   #52
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Dark Night of the Soul...aka 'the dweller on the threshold'

'Crossing the abyss' by the adept...the 'triple' veiled sphere on the kabbalistic tree of life...da'ath/sirius/pluto.

Destroying your ego...relinquishing all materiality to reach god.
the only thing you destroy in ego is its egomaniacle stance that controls what the spirit surrenders. the ego is never killed but its will is surrendered
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Old 07-04-2014, 05:29 AM   #53
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Hi Mr Sparkles
lol when I was at the bottom of the hole I said to my friend who was holding the road that I felt that someone somewhere would be going through a similar experience. It is that whole idea of a monkey learning something then one the other side of the world another monkey learns the same thing.
On the DMT ....yes been happening to me as well in the early morning. I think that it has always been the case on occasions but since I have been going through the dark veil it has increased to as much as 5 times a week. Some of the experiences have been frightening.
As far as the spiritual teachers there are a number of ways that I see it. First for those who are genuine.........because they have awakened as much as you can probably manage in this 3rd density, they would have gone through all their shadow stuff and then shifted to another paradigm. From that place they have a tendency to put the cart before the horse. That is they speak of where they are but often times do not speak of the real steps to be taken. So when you listen to them it is easy to get the wrong end of the pineapple. Neil spoke about this in the question time in one of his downloads, I think it was Unfoldment, Secrets and Syns.
There is a lot of what I feel is deliberate miinfo designed to knock people off their awakening. Then there are those who try and take you into the drama vortex. IMHO these are what I call the agents. Also there are others who make damaging comments that hardly relate to the content in youtube and amazon reviews. Someone suggested that there were no humans behind these but were bots that trolled the net. Interesting thought!
You are very right to listen to your intuition on all of this. I too have learnt to do the same. It is the knowing or Gnosis.
Anyway I guess you have explored the archons? Stinking rabbit hole that one. That took a lot of work sourcing that one out. Here is a quote I found very interesting.
“Since I entered politics, I have chiefly had men's views confided to me privately. Some of the biggest men in the United States, in the field of commerce and manufacture, are afraid of something. They know that there is a power somewhere so organized, so subtle, so watchful, so interlocked, so complete, so pervasive, that they better not speak above their breath when they speak in condemnation of it.”

― Woodrow Wilson, The New Freedom
I am not sure how to PM but you are welcomed to contact me and hopefully I can work out how to reply. I think it would be good to stay in touch. Cheers R
Hi Ravenblack You have developed a very creative way to deal with your ego. It kinda reminds me of a book called Owning Your Own Shadow by Robert Johnson...........that was a huge breakthrough book for me years ago. Cheers R
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Old 07-04-2014, 11:33 AM   #54
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the only thing you destroy in ego is its egomaniacle stance that controls what the spirit surrenders. the ego is never killed but its will is surrendered
Yes i agree verndewd.

Ego can either be a friend or an enemy a matter of choice. It has its purpose, i suggest that its made a friend.

It all depends what you identify with as your being. The temporary ego/mind/emotions or the infinite self.

The ego has its job let it do it, become a witness/watcher of it and cease false identification with the temporary.

Last edited by swamideva; 07-04-2014 at 02:26 PM.
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Old 07-04-2014, 12:26 PM   #55
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Here is something posted by heartbeatsalute from the Osho thread about the dark night of the soul and going beyond indentification.

http://www.davidicke.com/forum/showp...postcount=9370
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Old 07-04-2014, 12:33 PM   #56
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Eat better, exercise, get enough sleep, fresh air, sunshine, get out in nature, beat your addictions, do mentally/creatively challenging things, go to an evening class in something you like, cycle instead of drive, cut down masturbation, toxic food and drink and you're laughing.
I'm not joking, i wish GP's had your sense.
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Old 07-04-2014, 02:47 PM   #57
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Here are some links that i found for those interested in more research.


The Dark Night Of The Soul

Getting Through the Dark Night of the Soul

in5d radio - The Dark Night of the Soul and The Shift
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Old 07-04-2014, 04:49 PM   #58
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Eat better, exercise, get enough sleep, fresh air, sunshine, get out in nature, beat your addictions, do mentally/creatively challenging things, go to an evening class in something you like, cycle instead of drive, cut down masturbation, toxic food and drink and you're laughing.
Missed this earlier, thanks for the recommendations. However this isn't a normal physical condition, and i already do most of the things you suggested.

This is much deeper and just carries on regardless of what steps i take to try and shift it. I just need to let it run it's course.

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Cheers again Swami, i go onto in5d now and again and have already come across these. It was a while back though so i'll have another quick read through them.
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Old 07-04-2014, 05:06 PM   #59
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the only thing you destroy in ego is its egomaniacle stance that controls what the spirit surrenders. the ego is never killed but its will is surrendered
I was actually outlining a general view...hence the brevity and nothing by way of explanation.

I meant 'ego death' in the temporary sense and perhaps at a specific point...to acheive a form of transformation.
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Old 07-04-2014, 09:00 PM   #60
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I was actually outlining a general view...hence the brevity and nothing by way of explanation.

I meant 'ego death' in the temporary sense and perhaps at a specific point...to acheive a form of transformation.
Well its a form of death but the death of the ego's willful initiative over the spirit so, as a generalization it works but my concern is the literal use of the phrase.
Ego is a funny thing in that if it encounters the true bliss of spirit and the mind recognizes it as such , the ego is very quick to acclimate to the secondary position of power.

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