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Old 01-05-2018, 09:23 AM   #1
81hxor
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Default awakening - life falling apart :(

Hi, need some advice and hoping someone can help!
For the past few months now i feel like my life is falling apart at the seams.
My daughter who is 12 was diagnosed with some horrible liver disease and was taken into hospital with acute liver failure - this was March, no warnings etc it just happened, she just looked jaundice and swelled up (ascites) now she is being assesesed for a liver transplant.
I am self employed and sales have dramatically dropped over a really short period of time, massively not helped by facebooks new sharing regime. I am struggling financially with my business and constantly in debt and worry.
My relationship seems to be falling apart.
I feel sad, angry and like there is no way out of this hole that is getting deeper by the day.
I am trying to stay positive, keeping going, being outdoors etc being strong but its so hard.
This all come about when i started to awaken - i have constant lucid dreams, which i know i am dreaming but its hard to wake up (nightmares sometimes) i wake up and get a horrible horrible uncomfortable like shiver like a force going down through my body. I keep seeing shadow people - i sound like i am going nuts !!
I have a real thing about crystals, i have started a collection of them and mostly ones i have dreamt about or just happened to come across.
Lots of synchronicity going on too.
Just what is happening and how are you meant to deal with it?!!!!
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Old 01-05-2018, 09:42 AM   #2
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Not sure I can offer much in the way of help, but I can say you are not alone.

In my experience being 'awake' does not make your life any easier, but ask yourself would you really rather be 'asleep'? Once awake life is never the same again, partly because you can never just plod along as you did before, totally absorbed in the trivial distractions that most people take for important/essential parts of their lives.

I know when you are in a situation like you find yourself in it can be hard to see any way out but I believe there is a way. That way is for you to discover and you will discover it if you keep searching.

I am sending positive thoughts and love for you, your daughter and partner.

The darkest hour is always just before the dawn.
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“Have you also learned that secret from the river; that there is no such thing as time?" That the river is everywhere at the same time, at the source and at the mouth, at the waterfall, at the ferry, at the current, in the ocean and in the mountains, everywhere and that the present only exists for it, not the shadow of the past nor the shadow of the future.” ? Hermann Hesse, Siddhartha

Y Gwir Erbyn Y Byd ("Truth Against the World") - Druidic Motto
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Old 01-05-2018, 10:12 AM   #3
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The universe could be directing you to a happier life by crashing the one you have. Or it could just be that life sucks sometimes. The advice is the same: Just keep living and try to stay positive. Keep in mind that what you do and who you are mean something and that your life is going somewhere and that something big is going to happen in the future.
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The connection between Icke and 9/11
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Old 01-05-2018, 10:36 AM   #4
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Originally Posted by fudgetusk View Post
The universe could be directing you to a happier life by crashing the one you have.....
This could be close to the truth .... you connect this all with awakening ...

I think the world is about to change for all of us , on a cosmic scale , the sun may hiccup... earth changes.

My advice to everyone is to live simply with the minimum of outside distractions ,like work ...crystals are good ... follow your inner voice .
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Old 01-05-2018, 11:33 AM   #5
elshaper
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 81hxor View Post
Hi, need some advice and hoping someone can help!
For the past few months now i feel like my life is falling apart at the seams.
My daughter who is 12 was diagnosed with some horrible liver disease and was taken into hospital with acute liver failure - this was March, no warnings etc it just happened, she just looked jaundice and swelled up (ascites) now she is being assesesed for a liver transplant.
I am self employed and sales have dramatically dropped over a really short period of time, massively not helped by facebooks new sharing regime. I am struggling financially with my business and constantly in debt and worry.
My relationship seems to be falling apart.
I feel sad, angry and like there is no way out of this hole that is getting deeper by the day.
I am trying to stay positive, keeping going, being outdoors etc being strong but its so hard.
This all come about when i started to awaken - i have constant lucid dreams, which i know i am dreaming but its hard to wake up (nightmares sometimes) i wake up and get a horrible horrible uncomfortable like shiver like a force going down through my body. I keep seeing shadow people - i sound like i am going nuts !!
I have a real thing about crystals, i have started a collection of them and mostly ones i have dreamt about or just happened to come across.
Lots of synchronicity going on too.
Just what is happening and how are you meant to deal with it?!!!!
First of all, I'm sorry that you are going through this and it sounds horrible but many of us have been going through dire situation and have learned to swim with it so with your intelligence I'm sure you'll get through this.

If it wasn't for such 'misfortunes' (NB: inverted commas ), would you have woken up? Chances are no. People keep going on a treadmill of hypnotic state until something jarr them which normally involves with job loss, major illness, divorce, a fire etc. From my personal experience, go with the flow. If relationship fails, assess and take it as it comes. When my life crumbled, thanks to a narc who wanted to kill me, I said, ok, no point in trying to build anything, except I devoted my life to study. It has paid (literally) in the end and I am a transformed person.

I do astrology so it sounds as though you have been hit by the transit Pluto making a major aspect or some sort. imo Pluto is brutal out of all the other planets and takes away everything that was cushty in your life in order to regenerate your life. It's like someone has pulled a rug from under your feet.

May be it is your path to live healthier life. Your daughter's condition will force you to look into healthy eating, nutrition and alternative therapy which will make you realise how conventional medicine is just a money making system. You have to walk it rather than me telling you. You will find many knowledgeable people in the forum and if you use search function, you will discover many discussion we had on from benefit of salt, chocolate to drugs and other drugs. May be you'll learn about healing and shamanism which may take you to South America and places like that. May be your daughter won't need a liver transplant. Amazing recovery exists. Haver a look at Anita Moorjani - Terminal cancer disappeared video below.

https://forum.davidicke.com/showthread.php?t=310978

It's good that you are aware about your Lucid Dreaming.
With practice, you will be able to change your dream while you are dreaming.

It would be good if you can learn about Dark Energy so that you can create the life you want. This is zero point where infinite possibilities exists. You might as well pick the situation you want and manifest it. Everything starts in darkness (womb) in order for it manifest (birth) in this world (light).

Chat, whatever, to us, if you feel down.

EDIT: Having come out of the other end, I must say, it has been REALLY REALLY REALLY tough and I was on my knees, bedridden at times etc. But I have something that nobody can give to me which I've earned myself and dare say I feel powerful. That's what Pluto is about...power. We need regain our power by discarding 'SLAVE' status and put on a 'God' status t-shirt. (not religious btw)

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Old 01-05-2018, 02:31 PM   #6
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Sorry you are going through this. When things like this happen time stands still and it feels never ending but you will be ok and get through it together.
When you have 3 things go bad at the same time you can get depressed so ask others for help x

I get sleep paralysis usually when stressed or not sleeping. Take care of yourself so that you can take care of others. The shadow people are what you see when your mind wakes up before your body. I reckon you are just seeing a different dimension so ignore it - they probably can't see you.

It sounds like the Angels are trying to give you messages to help you so do not fear them. Crystals usually strengthens communication with them.

Just keep doing what you are doing - the waves will get smaller and you will all swim out of it fine. I'll pray for you all x

Oh and my iTUnes just started on it's own for no reason and feather theme from forest gump on harp is playing (I don't even have this song).
Whenever I ask the Angels for help they leave me a feather (indoors)
so I know they are around. And when I was going through a hard time I stood in my garden crying and
my neighbour a few doors down was playing a harp outside and it made me smile.
I'm sure this is a message for you not me...
I don't do psychic readings or anything like that - but that was weird - the song has stopped on it's own now too. Ok that is strange.....

Last edited by Sabrina; 01-05-2018 at 02:39 PM.
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Old 01-05-2018, 02:42 PM   #7
elshaper
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sabrina View Post
Sorry you are going through this. When things like this happen time stands still and it feels never ending but you will be ok and get through it together.
When you have 3 things go bad at the same time you can get depressed so ask others for help x

I get sleep paralysis usually when stressed or not sleeping. Take care of yourself so that you can take care of others. The shadow people are what you see when your mind wakes up before your body. I reckon you are just seeing a different dimension so ignore it - they probably can't see you.

It sounds like the Angels are trying to give you messages to help you so do not fear them. Crystals usually strengthens communication with them.

Just keep doing what you are doing - the waves will get smaller and you will all swim out of it fine. I'll pray for you all x

Oh and my iTUnes just started on it's own for no reason and feather theme from forest gump on harp is playing (I don't even have this song).
Whenever I ask the Angels for help they leave me a feather (indoors)
so I know they are around. And when I was going through a hard time I stood in my garden crying and
my neighbour a few doors down was playing a harp outside and it made me smile.
I'm sure this is a message for you not me...
I don't do psychic readings or anything like that - but that was weird - the song has stopped on it's own now too. Ok that is strange.....
Yes, that's the way the Universe communicate. It happens to me frequently especially when I want a reassurance which football team wins tonight.

Signs are all around us. We need to pay attention.

EDIT: just posted this for you. re: iphone (knowing you won't be easily scared ) may be you should close that portal. How do you know it's an angel? Could it be demon pretending to be an angel? Do you need an exocism? Jus kidding.
https://forum.davidicke.com/showpost...9&postcount=26

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Old 29-06-2018, 01:12 PM   #8
81hxor
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Hi everyone, just checking in.
My daughter has been added to the transplant list - however she is very well at the moment, shes so much better than what she was - she's gone back to school full time and we are (trying) to lead a normal life as much as possible. Things are still changing and fast. My partner is also self employed and runs a woodland - we are now selling that woodland and before we even put it on the market it has basically sold (going through solicitors now) the car is being picked up next week, my business is still crashing but i am taking some orders slowly which is helping to pull me out and get other bits in the business tied up. Hopefully with the sale of the wood it should allow us to start again and get on track - doing something totally different. I still keep seeing the number 23 everywhere, my cards are really bang on and my intuition and awareness is expanding. I feel relatively relaxed and just going with everything and trusting in the universe. My partner not sure whats going on as its happening quickly but its good for him too. We are certainly stronger together, some of his old habits he is coming out of due to circumstances. On at least 3 occasions over the past few months (one being this morning whilst driving) i am getting a huge weird almost like shock through my body which starts off like a shiver - like when you can feel it go through your entire body - like a tingling especially in the solar plexis region. It feels really positive and good. I guess its all part of the awakening. Although i am still in the woods it feels like there is now a bit of light coming through. Anyone else experienced this tingling feeling?
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Old 29-06-2018, 01:41 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 81hxor View Post
Hi everyone, just checking in.
My daughter has been added to the transplant list - however she is very well at the moment, shes so much better than what she was - she's gone back to school full time and we are (trying) to lead a normal life as much as possible. Things are still changing and fast. My partner is also self employed and runs a woodland - we are now selling that woodland and before we even put it on the market it has basically sold (going through solicitors now) the car is being picked up next week, my business is still crashing but i am taking some orders slowly which is helping to pull me out and get other bits in the business tied up. Hopefully with the sale of the wood it should allow us to start again and get on track - doing something totally different. I still keep seeing the number 23 everywhere, my cards are really bang on and my intuition and awareness is expanding. I feel relatively relaxed and just going with everything and trusting in the universe. My partner not sure whats going on as its happening quickly but its good for him too. We are certainly stronger together, some of his old habits he is coming out of due to circumstances. On at least 3 occasions over the past few months (one being this morning whilst driving) i am getting a huge weird almost like shock through my body which starts off like a shiver - like when you can feel it go through your entire body - like a tingling especially in the solar plexis region. It feels really positive and good. I guess its all part of the awakening. Although i am still in the woods it feels like there is now a bit of light coming through. Anyone else experienced this tingling feeling?
Tingling, chills, goose bumps....I tend to get them when I feel in a state of love or acceptance or have just realised a truth.

I am glad things are looking a little less bleak for you.
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“Have you also learned that secret from the river; that there is no such thing as time?" That the river is everywhere at the same time, at the source and at the mouth, at the waterfall, at the ferry, at the current, in the ocean and in the mountains, everywhere and that the present only exists for it, not the shadow of the past nor the shadow of the future.” ? Hermann Hesse, Siddhartha

Y Gwir Erbyn Y Byd ("Truth Against the World") - Druidic Motto
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Old 04-07-2018, 05:42 AM   #10
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Only just seen this so havn’t read previous comments. You MUST get a second or even third opinion. When I was little something happened and they wanted to operate on my liver. My parents took me to a doctor who asked one question. Is he lively or is he tired all the time? When they said that I rushed about the doctor told them to ignore the people at the hospital. They had wanted to get a sample of my liver. This was in the early sixties your daughters condition may be different and more severe I am no doctor but it is worth bearing this in mind not just for you but anyone in a similar position. Just read the previous comment and that makes it all the more important that you get a second opinion as she seems better which is good to hear

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Old 04-07-2018, 05:52 AM   #11
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If I had a woodland I wouldn’t sell it that’s for sure it’s like a dream. If you can stop the sale stop it. If you are selling it for your daughters sake it may be unnecessary
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Old 04-07-2018, 06:03 AM   #12
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Thank you 81hxor for the update!!

I hope she continues to do better and better


Peace and love to ya both
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Old 13-11-2018, 09:11 PM   #13
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Wtf is a woodland?
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DISCLAIMER: Reader discretion advised. The above post is entirely fictional, for entertainment purposes only. Any similarities to real life events, animals, humans, persons, politicians, or any other form of organisation entity living, dead or in any other state of existence are coincidental. Any opinion, comment or statements related or attributed to this username, is just that.
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