Go Back   David Icke's Official Forums > Main Forums > General Chat > Have a Laugh

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 01-05-2007, 12:41 PM   #221
accuracy
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Perth, Australia
Posts: 13,766
Likes: 10 (10 Posts)
Default

Weather Station

__________________
As a Premier Subscriber, i enjoy David Icke's newsletters.

Australians For Palestine.(Providing a Voice.)
http://australiansforpalestine.com/
accuracy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-05-2007, 10:09 AM   #222
accuracy
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Perth, Australia
Posts: 13,766
Likes: 10 (10 Posts)
Default

>> Subject: [joke] A fishing tale

>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>> >> A man was fishing. He began his outing with a 25kg Kingfish on
>>> the
>>>> >> first drop and a 20 lb snapper on the second.
>>>> >> On the third drop he had just scored his first ever King
>>> Terakihi
>>>> >> when his cell phone rang. It was a doctor notifying him that
>>> his
>>>>
>>>> >> wife had
>>>> >> just been in a terrible accident and was in critical condition
>>> in
>>>>
>>>> >> ICU.
>>>> >>
>>>> >> The man told the doctor to inform his wife where he was and that
>>>>the
>>>> >> he'd be there as soon as possible. As he hung up he realized he
>>>> >> was leaving,
>>>> >> what was shaping up to be, his best ever fishing trip. He
>>>> >> decided to get
>>>> >> in a couple of more drifts before heading to the hospital.
>>>> >>
>>>> >> He ended up catching several personal bests, and all in all, had
>>>>his
>>>> >> best days fishing by far. He was jubilant....
>>>> >> Then he remembered his wife. Feeling guilty he dashed to the
>>>> >> hospital.
>>>> >>
>>>> >> He saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about his wife's
>>>> >> condition.
>>>> >> The doctor glared at him and shouted, "You went ahead and kept
>>>> >> Fishing
>>>> >> didn't you! I hope you're proud of yourself! While you were
>>> out
>>>>
>>>> >> for the
>>>> >> past four hours enjoying yourself on the ocean, your wife has
>>>>been
>>>> >> languishing in the ICU! It's just as well you went ahead and
>>>> >> finished
>>>> >> the fishing because it will be more than likely your last!"
>>>> >>
>>>> >> "For the rest of her life she will require 'round the clock
>>> care.
>>>> >> And you'll be her care giver!"
>>>> >>
>>>> >> The man was feeling so guilty he broke down and sobbed.
>>>> >>
>>>> >> The doctor snickered and said, "Just fucking with you. She's
>>> dead.
>>>> >> What'd you catch?"
>>>>
>>>>
__________________
As a Premier Subscriber, i enjoy David Icke's newsletters.

Australians For Palestine.(Providing a Voice.)
http://australiansforpalestine.com/
accuracy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-05-2007, 11:59 AM   #223
accuracy
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Perth, Australia
Posts: 13,766
Likes: 10 (10 Posts)
Default

If farts smelled like roses...

__________________
As a Premier Subscriber, i enjoy David Icke's newsletters.

Australians For Palestine.(Providing a Voice.)
http://australiansforpalestine.com/
accuracy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-05-2007, 12:01 PM   #224
accuracy
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Perth, Australia
Posts: 13,766
Likes: 10 (10 Posts)
Default

If farts smelled like roses...(cont)

__________________
As a Premier Subscriber, i enjoy David Icke's newsletters.

Australians For Palestine.(Providing a Voice.)
http://australiansforpalestine.com/
accuracy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-05-2007, 12:03 PM   #225
accuracy
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Perth, Australia
Posts: 13,766
Likes: 10 (10 Posts)
Default

If farts smelled like roses...(cont)

__________________
As a Premier Subscriber, i enjoy David Icke's newsletters.

Australians For Palestine.(Providing a Voice.)
http://australiansforpalestine.com/
accuracy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-05-2007, 12:04 PM   #226
accuracy
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Perth, Australia
Posts: 13,766
Likes: 10 (10 Posts)
Default

If farts smelled like roses...(cont)

__________________
As a Premier Subscriber, i enjoy David Icke's newsletters.

Australians For Palestine.(Providing a Voice.)
http://australiansforpalestine.com/
accuracy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-05-2007, 12:07 PM   #227
accuracy
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Perth, Australia
Posts: 13,766
Likes: 10 (10 Posts)
Default

If farts smelled like roses...(cont)

__________________
As a Premier Subscriber, i enjoy David Icke's newsletters.

Australians For Palestine.(Providing a Voice.)
http://australiansforpalestine.com/
accuracy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-05-2007, 12:11 PM   #228
accuracy
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Perth, Australia
Posts: 13,766
Likes: 10 (10 Posts)
Default

If farts smelled like roses...(cont)

__________________
As a Premier Subscriber, i enjoy David Icke's newsletters.

Australians For Palestine.(Providing a Voice.)
http://australiansforpalestine.com/
accuracy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-05-2007, 12:13 PM   #229
accuracy
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Perth, Australia
Posts: 13,766
Likes: 10 (10 Posts)
Default

If farts smelled like roses...(cont)

__________________
As a Premier Subscriber, i enjoy David Icke's newsletters.

Australians For Palestine.(Providing a Voice.)
http://australiansforpalestine.com/
accuracy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-05-2007, 12:16 PM   #230
accuracy
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Perth, Australia
Posts: 13,766
Likes: 10 (10 Posts)
Default

If farts smelled like roses...(cont)

__________________
As a Premier Subscriber, i enjoy David Icke's newsletters.

Australians For Palestine.(Providing a Voice.)
http://australiansforpalestine.com/
accuracy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-05-2007, 12:19 PM   #231
accuracy
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Perth, Australia
Posts: 13,766
Likes: 10 (10 Posts)
Default

If farts smelled like roses...(end)

Dead Horse

__________________
As a Premier Subscriber, i enjoy David Icke's newsletters.

Australians For Palestine.(Providing a Voice.)
http://australiansforpalestine.com/
accuracy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-05-2007, 12:26 PM   #232
accuracy
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Perth, Australia
Posts: 13,766
Likes: 10 (10 Posts)
Default

Thanks to http://www.fark.com/
__________________
As a Premier Subscriber, i enjoy David Icke's newsletters.

Australians For Palestine.(Providing a Voice.)
http://australiansforpalestine.com/
accuracy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-05-2007, 12:27 PM   #233
accuracy
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Perth, Australia
Posts: 13,766
Likes: 10 (10 Posts)
Default

Just Married

__________________
As a Premier Subscriber, i enjoy David Icke's newsletters.

Australians For Palestine.(Providing a Voice.)
http://australiansforpalestine.com/
accuracy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-05-2007, 12:29 PM   #234
accuracy
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Perth, Australia
Posts: 13,766
Likes: 10 (10 Posts)
Default

No Kidding

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked a young Engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"

The Engineer said, "In the neighbourhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."

The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years say, a red Corvette?"

The Engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?"

And the interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it."
__________________
As a Premier Subscriber, i enjoy David Icke's newsletters.

Australians For Palestine.(Providing a Voice.)
http://australiansforpalestine.com/
accuracy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-05-2007, 12:54 PM   #235
accuracy
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Perth, Australia
Posts: 13,766
Likes: 10 (10 Posts)
Default

Fire Without Matches

Neat little trick.



http://www.yourdailymedia.com/media/...ithout_Matches
__________________
As a Premier Subscriber, i enjoy David Icke's newsletters.

Australians For Palestine.(Providing a Voice.)
http://australiansforpalestine.com/

Last edited by accuracy; 03-05-2007 at 12:59 PM.
accuracy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-05-2007, 01:05 PM   #236
accuracy
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Perth, Australia
Posts: 13,766
Likes: 10 (10 Posts)
Default

Seaweed Penis

__________________
As a Premier Subscriber, i enjoy David Icke's newsletters.

Australians For Palestine.(Providing a Voice.)
http://australiansforpalestine.com/
accuracy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-05-2007, 08:12 AM   #237
accuracy
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Perth, Australia
Posts: 13,766
Likes: 10 (10 Posts)
Default

__________________
As a Premier Subscriber, i enjoy David Icke's newsletters.

Australians For Palestine.(Providing a Voice.)
http://australiansforpalestine.com/
accuracy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-05-2007, 08:15 AM   #238
accuracy
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Perth, Australia
Posts: 13,766
Likes: 10 (10 Posts)
Default

Whole Can In Mouth

__________________
As a Premier Subscriber, i enjoy David Icke's newsletters.

Australians For Palestine.(Providing a Voice.)
http://australiansforpalestine.com/
accuracy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-05-2007, 08:58 AM   #239
accuracy
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Perth, Australia
Posts: 13,766
Likes: 10 (10 Posts)
Default

Resentment

__________________
As a Premier Subscriber, i enjoy David Icke's newsletters.

Australians For Palestine.(Providing a Voice.)
http://australiansforpalestine.com/
accuracy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-05-2007, 09:03 AM   #240
accuracy
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Perth, Australia
Posts: 13,766
Likes: 10 (10 Posts)
Default

Blind´s Sports

A blind man was describing his favorite sport... parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him: "I am placed in the door and told when to jump. My hand is placed on my release ring for me, and out I go."

"But how do you know when you are going to land?" he was asked.

"I have a very keen sense of smell and I can smell the trees and grass when I am 300 feet from the ground," he answered.

But how do you know when to lift your legs for the final arrival on the ground?" he was again asked.

He quickly answered "Oh..... the dog's leash goes slack."
__________________
As a Premier Subscriber, i enjoy David Icke's newsletters.

Australians For Palestine.(Providing a Voice.)
http://australiansforpalestine.com/
accuracy is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 11:28 PM.


Shoutbox provided by vBShout (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2020 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.