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Old 16-12-2009, 09:10 AM   #261
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The Balloon Priest
(Padre Baloneiro)



"Priest Visits Boss"

(20 April 2008, Atlantic Ocean) A Catholic priest recently ascended to heaven on a host of helium party balloons, paying homage to Lawn Chair Larry's aerial adventure. Larry (beloved survivor of a Darwin-worthy fiasco) attached 45 helium weather balloons to his lawnchair, packed a picnic lunch, and cut the tether--but instead of drifting above the Los Angeles landscape as planned, he was rocketed into LAX air traffic lanes by the lift of the weather balloons. Astoundingly, Larry survived the flight.

Adelir Antonio, 51, was not so lucky.

His audacious attempt to set a world record for clustered balloon flight was intended to publicize his plan to build a spiritual rest stop for truckers. But, as truckers know, sitting for 19 hours in a lawn chair is not a trivial matter even in the comfort of your own backyard. The priest took numerous safety precautions, including wearing a survival suit, selecting a buoyant chair, and packing a satellite phone and a GPS. However, the late Adelir Antonio made a fatal mistake.

He did not know how to use the GPS.

The winds changed, as winds do, and he was blown inexorably toward open sea. He could have parachuted to safety while over land but chose not to. When the voyager was perilously lost at sea, he finally phoned for help--but rescuers were unable to determine his location, since he could not use his GPS. He struggled with the unit as the charge on the satellite phone dwindled.

Instead of a GPS, the priest let God be his guide, and God guided him straight to heaven. Bits of balloons began appearing on mountains and beaches. Ultimately the priest's body surfaced, confirming that he, like Elvis, had left the building.
Source: http://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2008-16.html
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Old 16-12-2009, 09:39 AM   #262
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2. Juan Baptista dos Santos - The Man With Two Penises



Jean (or Juan) Baptista dos Santos is said to have been a “Gipsey”, born in Faro, Portugal around 1843, to normal parents with two other normal children. His career as an exhibitionist seems to have been confined strictly to medical circles; in 1865 turned down a sum of 200,000 francs to appear for two years with a French circus. He possessed two functioning penes and three scrota, the outer two of which each contained a single testis. Dos Santos claimed that the central scrotum had also contained a pair of fully-formed testes, but that these had retreated into his abdomen when he was ten years old.
How large were these penis' ? Were they porno?
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Old 22-12-2009, 12:11 AM   #263
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CCTV released of bizarre 'bum smelling' shopper
Police have released bizarre CCTV footage of a man repeatedly creeping up behind a supermarket shelf-stacker – to smell his bottom.


CCTV grabs showing a man performing a 'bizarre' sexual assualt on shop workers

Officers are treating the incident as sexual assault and are appealing for help in tracking down the mystery man, who has struck at least twice at a Co-op store in Plymouth.

The victim, who cannot be named for legal reasons, was shocked when he saw the surveillance tape. ‘I had no idea what was going on. I thought it was all a bit strange,’ he said.
Source: http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/806828-...elling-shopper
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Old 22-12-2009, 12:15 AM   #264
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Cow jumps six feet onto roof

Forget the nursery rhyme about a cow jumping over the Moon – this animal leapt on to a roof.



A neighbour thought he was seeing things when he peered out the window. But after closer inspection he realised it was not an illusion – the cow was 1.8m (6ft) off the ground.

William de Cothi, 17, took a photograph of the agile animal – in case nobody believed him.

‘I was looking out of my window when I saw the cow,’ said the sixth-form student.

‘At first I thought that the cow was in the background and not really on the roof.

‘But after a closer look I could see it was on the roof. I got my family to come and look later and they laughed. It was amazing.’

The cow eventually made its way down but the homeowner in Blagdon, Somerset, called police after finding her roof seriously damaged.

‘This was initially recorded on my figures as a burglary so I am glad I can take it off,’ said PC Ray Bradley.

‘If it wasn’t for the door-to-door inquires and this photo, we wouldn’t have found out it was a cow,’ he added.
Source: http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/806731-...old-slate-roof
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Old 22-12-2009, 12:44 AM   #265
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LOL Wtf!?
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Old 24-12-2009, 01:38 PM   #266
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Is this the world's tallest dog?

Standing at nearly 110cm (43in) tall from paw to shoulder and weighing a staggering 111kg (17st 7lb), this could be the world’s new tallest dog.



Gentle giant George – a four-year-old Great Dane – measures 2.3m (7ft 3in) from nose to tail, putting him on a par with a miniature horse.

He is a prime contender to take the title from the former record holder Gibson – a harlequin Great Dane who died in August.

‘He’s unique,’ said owner David Nasser, from Tuscon, Arizona.



Mr Nasser and wife Christine have raised George from when he was seven weeks old but never expected him to be so big. They even had to move George out of their king-sized bed, when he grew too large to share the same sheets.

‘In my 45 years of experience working with giant breed dogs, without question George is the tallest dog I have ever seen,’ said US canine expert Dr William Wallace.
Source: http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/807029-...ds-tallest-dog
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Old 24-12-2009, 01:40 PM   #267
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Bomber's sticks of dynamite turn out to be sausages

A would-be bomber held off police for an hour warning them the ‘sticks of dynamite’ strapped to his waist would explode any minute.


Singe He threatened to blow up a restaurant and its patrons unless they handed over the day’s takings.

But when a specialist bomb unit arrived, they realised the bangers were actually sausages. ‘When we saw what he had round his waist, we couldn’t help laughing.

‘Some of the sausages still had the wrappers on them,’ said one bomb squad officer in the city of Benxi, northern China.

‘It must have been terrifying for the customers but those things would only have gone off if you’d kept them past their sell by date,’ he added.

The bomber told police he’d planned the raid because he was depressed after breaking up with his girlfriend.

‘I needed some excitement in my life, and to that extent it was a success,’ he commented.
Source: http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/807036-...to-be-sausages
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Old 14-06-2011, 10:51 AM   #268
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Just happened upon this thread, thought it would be worth putting out there again! Interesting stuff.
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Old 15-06-2011, 01:51 AM   #269
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Old 16-06-2011, 07:45 PM   #270
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that disturbed me.
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Old 18-06-2011, 04:23 AM   #271
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Yeah, lets keep this bumped if somebody resourceful enough will find some more stories here.
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Old 18-06-2011, 04:30 AM   #272
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Yeah, lets keep this bumped if somebody resourceful enough will find some more stories here.
Thank you, Hammerberg. The spirit of dear Jason_Bourne, OP of this thread, should live on.
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Old 19-06-2011, 02:31 AM   #273
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Thank you, Hammerberg. The spirit of dear Jason_Bourne, OP of this thread, should live on.
Aye! Too bad i'm not so good in finding out stuff like this... And i'm too lazy. I hope somebody will keep this thread alive.
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Old 26-06-2011, 07:34 PM   #274
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yoda the four eared cat

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