Go Back   David Icke's Official Forums > Main Forums > General Chat > Have a Laugh

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 08-07-2011, 01:42 PM   #1
decode reality
Inactive
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 24,061
Likes: 4,369 (2,796 Posts)
Default Illuminati food and drink

I always did have my suspicions about Dairylea Cheese.

One can't deny its obvious pyramid shape, an inverted one at that. The picture of the cow will no doubt be grist to the mill for those who suspect an all pervading 'Jewish plot'. They'll no doubt be familiar with the term goyim, which means 'cattle'.

The evidence is overwhelming!


decode reality is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-07-2011, 02:38 PM   #2
belch
Inactive
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,909
Likes: 2 (2 Posts)
Default

Newsflash Latest.

Satanic Chicken Gravey Hits The Supermarket Shelves.



Dorris Jones 64 said outside Tesco's.
"I think i have just sold my soul for chicken gravey, But Albert just will not eat his dinner if it is not covered in the stuff"

The local vicar has asked that people boycot the store until the satanic chicken gravey is removed from the shelves.

Tesco's said.
"We dont know anything about satan, but the gravey is good, especialy on chips"
belch is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-07-2011, 03:20 PM   #3
decode reality
Inactive
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 24,061
Likes: 4,369 (2,796 Posts)
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by belch View Post
Newsflash Latest.

Satanic Chicken Gravey Hits The Supermarket Shelves.



Dorris Jones 64 said outside Tesco's.
"I think i have just sold my soul for chicken gravey, But Albert just will not eat his dinner if it is not covered in the stuff"

The local vicar has asked that people boycot the store until the satanic chicken gravey is removed from the shelves.

Tesco's said.
"We dont know anything about satan, but the gravey is good, especialy on chips"
'Chips' being the operative word.
decode reality is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-07-2011, 04:33 PM   #4
belch
Inactive
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,909
Likes: 2 (2 Posts)
Default Illuminati Send Messages Via Sardines.

Breaking News.

Anti illuminatists protest at the lack of privacey and subliminal messages impossed on people when buying tinned sardines.



Anti illuminatist Cecil Blower said.
"Its so obvious. The ringpull is not there to make opening the cans any easier is it? Of course its not!
They can not fool me. Its an eye. Its the all seeing eye and it is watching me and sending a message telling me that "they" are watching me, "they" are watching everyone and telling you they are doing it at the same time!"

Morweena Binjamin commented.
"I dont know how they think they can get away with it, Its creepy, Whenever i go shopping i feel like i am being watched, Especialy when im in the tinned and canned food isle, It gives me the shivers"

Burt Bert of Tesco Said.
"I dont know about illuminati and all seeing eyes and things like that. But the sardines are good, Especialy on toast."

An anti illuminati spokesperson said.
"We intend to boycott Tesco until they remove all tins and cans that have these "So called ringpulls" off the shelves, We know what they are up to"

Tesco later added that sales were unaffected at this point.

Last edited by belch; 09-07-2011 at 06:11 PM.
belch is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-07-2011, 04:35 PM   #5
macgyver1968
Banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Dallas, Texas
Posts: 1,748
Likes: 0 (0 Posts)
Default



Doritos...official snack food of the Illuminati.
macgyver1968 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-07-2011, 07:24 PM   #6
belch
Inactive
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,909
Likes: 2 (2 Posts)
Default Anti Illuminatists Cause Chocolate Chaos.

Headline Update.

Anti Illuminatists Cause Chocolate Chaos.

Anti illuminati protesters have surrounded a chocolate factory in the small town of Tobeleron in Switzerland and are demanding an end to the production of such obvious illuminati mind control chocolate.



Anti illuminatist Activist Elpert Wipes insisted.
"If you look at that stuff, it does things to you, Like make you crave for its evilness. It is a vile and evil shape to use for chocolate bars, it is blatantly pyramid shaped, This shape is to remind you about who is in control. They control you with chocolate addiction and feed of your weakness."

Protester Mervin Shorts Added.
"I was only 10stone before i became controled by the illuminati subliminal messages that started being directed at me whenever i walked past a sweet shop. Its gotten so bad that i can hear the evil Tobeleron pyramid signals telling me to buy the product wherever i go. Im now 16stone ffs"

A Factory Spokesperson Stated.
I dont know about evil chocolate and pyramids, Its good chocolate, Especialy if left in the fridge for a couple of hours"

An Anti Illuminati Activist Spokesperson Latter Added.
"We urge all chocolate lovers to boycott this vile and evil shaped chocolate.
We ask you to only by inoffensively shaped chocolate that in no way can bring about any kind of addiction. We ask you stick to chocolate buttons and to only have a few each day. By working together we can defeat the evil Illuminati and save slim people from becomming fat people, All over the world"

Kraft Foods reported that there has been no adverse effects on sales in the town of Tobeleron despite the protests being staged.
belch is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 30-10-2014, 05:33 AM   #7
decode reality
Inactive
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 24,061
Likes: 4,369 (2,796 Posts)
Post

Quote:
Originally Posted by belch View Post
Breaking News.

Anti illuminatists protest at the lack of privacey and subliminal messages impossed on people when buying tinned sardines.



Anti illuminatist Cecil Blower said.
"Its so obvious. The ringpull is not there to make opening the cans any easier is it? Of course its not!
They can not fool me. Its an eye. Its the all seeing eye and it is watching me and sending a message telling me that "they" are watching me, "they" are watching everyone and telling you they are doing it at the same time!"

Morweena Binjamin commented.
"I dont know how they think they can get away with it, Its creepy, Whenever i go shopping i feel like i am being watched, Especialy when im in the tinned and canned food isle, It gives me the shivers"

Burt Bert of Tesco Said.
"I dont know about illuminati and all seeing eyes and things like that. But the sardines are good, Especialy on toast."

An anti illuminati spokesperson said.
"We intend to boycott Tesco until they remove all tins and cans that have these "So called ringpulls" off the shelves, We know what they are up to"

Tesco later added that sales were unaffected at this point.
Lovely stuff (belatedly!)
decode reality is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 30-10-2014, 05:37 AM   #8
decode reality
Inactive
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 24,061
Likes: 4,369 (2,796 Posts)
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by decode reality View Post
I always did have my suspicions about Dairylea Cheese.

One can't deny its obvious pyramid shape, an inverted one at that. The picture of the cow will no doubt be grist to the mill for those who suspect an all pervading 'Jewish plot'. They'll no doubt be familiar with the term goyim, which means 'cattle'.

The evidence is overwhelming!


I've got cheese! This is cheese!!
decode reality is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 30-10-2014, 05:44 AM   #9
decode reality
Inactive
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 24,061
Likes: 4,369 (2,796 Posts)
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by belch View Post
Headline Update.

Anti Illuminatists Cause Chocolate Chaos.

Anti illuminati protesters have surrounded a chocolate factory in the small town of Tobeleron in Switzerland and are demanding an end to the production of such obvious illuminati mind control chocolate.



Anti illuminatist Activist Elpert Wipes insisted.
"If you look at that stuff, it does things to you, Like make you crave for its evilness. It is a vile and evil shape to use for chocolate bars, it is blatantly pyramid shaped, This shape is to remind you about who is in control. They control you with chocolate addiction and feed of your weakness."

Protester Mervin Shorts Added.
"I was only 10stone before i became controled by the illuminati subliminal messages that started being directed at me whenever i walked past a sweet shop. Its gotten so bad that i can hear the evil Tobeleron pyramid signals telling me to buy the product wherever i go. Im now 16stone ffs"

A Factory Spokesperson Stated.
I dont know about evil chocolate and pyramids, Its good chocolate, Especialy if left in the fridge for a couple of hours"

An Anti Illuminati Activist Spokesperson Latter Added.
"We urge all chocolate lovers to boycott this vile and evil shaped chocolate.
We ask you to only by inoffensively shaped chocolate that in no way can bring about any kind of addiction. We ask you stick to chocolate buttons and to only have a few each day. By working together we can defeat the evil Illuminati and save slim people from becomming fat people, All over the world"

Kraft Foods reported that there has been no adverse effects on sales in the town of Tobeleron despite the protests being staged.



Latest update:

Peregrine Puce, the 56th Earl of Fishy Dingle has issued a lawsuit against Kraft, claiming that the white nougat flecks offset against the chocolate in a Toblerone bar "Gives off an appearance that is decidedly similar to a masonic checkered floor (from some angles)".

Last edited by decode reality; 30-10-2014 at 06:12 AM.
decode reality is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 31-10-2014, 10:33 AM   #10
decode reality
Inactive
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 24,061
Likes: 4,369 (2,796 Posts)
Default

A source close to me who wouldn't disclose his name (because he thought I'd giggle at it) has posited a controversial theory about the increase in alcohol related street violence.

He says that beer is now being brewed with an increased measure of 'Psy Hops' in the ingredients. These hops, when consumed with a bag of KP Nuts or crackling create a chemical reaction where an otherwise placid individual becomes a violent thug. The source advises anyone who drinks Bilderberg Lager or Haarp to stick to one glass only, and to make sure they eat Bombay Mix instead.

decode reality is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
drink, food, illuminati, products

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 12:14 AM.


Shoutbox provided by vBShout (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2019 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.