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Old 25-03-2011, 08:54 AM   #1
decode reality
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Default 'Winning' & 'Losing': lessons from sport

In sport and life in general, it seems to be those who are the winners are the best losers. It's not that they are "winners" in every situation but when things don't go as they'd wished, they learn from it and invariably succeed at some other time.

A lot of the positive thinking/law of attraction work is useful but it's sold on the basis of 'do this and achieve all your dreams'. Which is unrealistic. It'd be better if they taught people how to deal with when things don't go quite as they hoped.

Maybe there needs to be a book written called 'HOW TO BE A GOOD LOSER'.

Last edited by decode reality; 25-03-2011 at 08:55 AM. Reason: Additional points made.
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Old 25-03-2011, 08:59 AM   #2
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I agree with your post.

Winning and achieving stuff is always great, ive played federated soccer and basketball and when I played i had an unexplainable desire to win every game I played, I cant really express it if you havent played competitive sports.

But losing is neccesary also, it makes you think and consider things. It makes you stronger actually. Sounds like a cliche, but ive learned more from losing (sports or life in general) than winning. You lose to ultimately win.

Like Michael Jordan said:

"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."

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Old 25-03-2011, 10:29 AM   #3
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I agree with your post.

Winning and achieving stuff is always great, ive played federated soccer and basketball and when I played i had an unexplainable desire to win every game I played, I cant really express it if you havent played competitive sports.

But losing is neccesary also, it makes you think and consider things. It makes you stronger actually. Sounds like a cliche, but ive learned more from losing (sports or life in general) than winning. You lose to ultimately win.

Like Michael Jordan said:

"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."
That's a great quote from Michael Jordan. As you mentioned, I've also grown and become much stronger out of mistakes made. And the things that go right! I've always admired great teams or individuals in sport who are able to 'snatch victory from the jaws of defeat'. Also, managers who are able to transform an insignificant losing side into trophy winners (Brian Clough comes to mind, Alex Ferguson too - and Sven Goran Eriksson pre-England management days). I think we could all benefit from learning the psychology behind that.

Last edited by decode reality; 25-03-2011 at 10:32 AM.
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Old 25-03-2011, 10:45 AM   #4
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Han: We are all ready to win, just as we are born knowing only life. It is defeat that you must learn to prepare for.

Williams: I don't waste my time with it. When it comes, I won't even notice.

Han: Oh? How so?

Williams: I'll be too busy looking gooood!
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Old 25-03-2011, 10:54 AM   #5
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As a Liverpool F.C fan I know all about winning and losing!
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Old 25-03-2011, 10:58 AM   #6
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Originally Posted by raekwon View Post

Like Michael Jordan said:

"I've missed over 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."
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Old 25-03-2011, 11:29 AM   #7
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Originally Posted by decode reality View Post
In sport and life in general, it seems to be those who are the winners are the best losers. It's not that they are "winners" in every situation but when things don't go as they'd wished, they learn from it and invariably succeed at some other time.
The concept of people being either mostly "winners " or "losers" is totally idiotic and usually promoted by people who are struggling to feel secure in thier identity

applying labels to oneself such as 'winner' or 'loser' is just adding an extension to one's EGO or FALSE SELF

A man who is in control of his EGO (self image) and thus at one with his SELF or SOUL has no need to apply such 'titles' to himself

"I'm a winner"

"I'm a PROFESSIONAL"

"I'm an ARTIST"

"I'm a good mother"

THESE ARE ALL JUST LABELS WE OR OTRHERS TRY TO STICK ON US (OOPS caps)

How many REAL LIFE (not 'sport') interactions or events can really have an outcome that could be regarded as 'winning'?

I suppose that depends on the individual and if they feel that they are in competition with others all the time.
A competetive attitude blights so many males , I just find it tedious, I don';t feel the need to constantly compare myself with other males and engineer situations to prove to myself that I am a 'winner' , so why do so many males do this?
because they are mentally ill and have LOW SELF ESTEEM.
I give them no time and no energy, they can join a 'sport' team if they need reassurance, I will not give it to them .

This is why I find the majority of males so tedious that I just have no patience with them.



People who refer to themselves as 'winners' always remind me of the scene in TV hospital sit-com 'Scrubs' when the blonde doctor ask the janitor if he ever feels like life was getting on top of him

the janitor replies "I'm a winner"




I knew this one guy, Sinclair Eiloart, A filthy drug dealing thief , snide little 'public schoolboy' who had a lot of money. His wealthy family, drug dealing and general theivery made him a good income but still he would HAVE to 'WIN' and 'PROFIT' from EVERY single interaction with another human being.
He would HAVE to get 'ONE UP' at all times
Even thoiugh he had a lot of cash he would steal from shops all the time, batteries, sweets, anything just so he FELT like he had 'WON' against whichever supermarket he was in

He was risking getting caught and losing his drug dealing business just for a few batteries or whatever but he couldn'e help himself, it was a CLEPTOMANIA, he just had to 'WIN', it wasn't enough to have plenty of money to buy whatever he wanted to eat, no he had to get 'one up' on the shop

I know, totally batshit crazy

I blame his upbringing in a hyper competetive 'public school' (that's a private or POSH school to the americans) and his judaic family upbringing.
he LOVED usury, he would always charge £10 'fee' if people bought an ounce on 'credit'. A real dirty snide usurer

he would laugh and brag about how he sold people garbage contaminated cannabis, he would think it was great that he had got one over on them. And these were the people who thought he was a friend




REgarding 'sport' .....

'sport' is all about KILLING TIME, it is an INDUSTRY built on the need for dull and boring (thus bored) people to MURDER THIER DAY

The outcome of ALL 'sports' is of no importance , that is one of the defining charachteristics of 'sport', at the end of the 'game'/'match'/'tournament'/'season' you press the RESET BUTTON and all is voided.
You can't carry it with you whatever you 'gained' last season, the whole point of the game was to MURDER the day AND/or get sweaty and semi naked with a load of people of the same sex!!!

Don't start me about the idiots who call 'skateboarding' a 'sport'

it's not a 'sport' , it's a toy
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Old 25-03-2011, 11:32 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by raekwon View Post
Winning and achieving stuff is always great, ive played federated soccer and basketball and when I played i had an unexplainable desire to win every game I played, I cant really express it if you havent played competitive sports
But what did you actually ACHIEVE?

Last edited by bukowski; 25-03-2011 at 12:19 PM.
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Old 25-03-2011, 11:41 AM   #9
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Seeing as the word achieve is in block letters, it is obviously important to you, so perhaps it would be helpful if you'd define what an achievement is?
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Old 25-03-2011, 11:47 AM   #10
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But what did you actually ACHIEVE?
I agree.

Sport is sport - even professional sport - which is business - is still just not really important.

You may be the best footballer - in the world.

You may be the best boxer - in the world.

You may be the best basket ball player in the world.

But its not really important in life - if your the best at some game.

Yet such importance is placed on what football team you support, etc.

Middle aged men in suits - get stressed out on the touch line - cos their team is losing.

And men - passsionately supoort a football team - with great importance - and middle aged men in suits have deep heated debates on TV and Radio shows about some football game.

Its all a bit retarded.

Last edited by flint island; 25-03-2011 at 11:48 AM.
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Old 25-03-2011, 11:48 AM   #11
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No. Calm down. Learn to enjoy losing.-
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Old 25-03-2011, 11:50 AM   #12
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Originally Posted by flint island View Post
I agree.

Sport is sport - even professional sport - which is business - is still just not really important.

You may be the best footballer - in the world.

You may be the best boxer - in the world.

You may be the best basket ball player in the world.

But its not really important in life - if your the best at some game.

Yet such importance is placed on what football team you support, etc.

Middle aged men in suits - get stressed out on the touch line - cos their team is losing.

And men - passsionately supoort a football team - with great importance.

Its all a bit retarded.
Good points, you're right, although I get sucked into the football web. I think it's more distraction stuff, and divide and rule stuff. Look at the football rivalries, it's nuts, people 40 miles apart hating each other cos of some men running around grass!.
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Old 25-03-2011, 11:53 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bukowski View Post
The concept of people being either mostly "winners " or "losers" is totally idiotic and usually promoted by people who are struggling to feel secure in thier identity

applying labels to oneself such as 'winner' or 'loser' is just adding an extension to one's EGO or FALSE SELF

A man who is in control of his EGO (self image) and thus at one with his SELF or SOUL has no need to apply such 'titles' to himself

"I'm a winner"

"I'm a PROFESSIONAL"

"I'm an ARTIST"

"I'm a good mother"

THESE ARE ALL JUST LABELS WE OR OTRHERS TRY TO STICK ON US (OOPS caps)

How many REAL LIFE (not 'sport') interactions or events can really have an outcome that could be regarded as 'winning'?

I suppose that depends on the individual and if they feel that they are in competition with others all the time.
A competetive attitude blights so many males , I just find it tedious, I don';t feel the need to constantly compare myself with other males and engineer situations to prove to myself that I am a 'winner' , so why do so many males do this?
because they are mentally ill and have LOW SELF ESTEEM.
I give them no time and no energy, they can join a 'sport' team if they need reassurance, I will not give it to them .

This is why I find the majority of males so tedious that I just have no patience with them.



People who refer to themselves as 'winners' always remind me of the scene in TV hospital sit-com 'Scrubs' when the blonde doctor ask the janitor if he ever feels like life was getting on top of him

the janitor replies "I'm a winner"




I knew this one guy, Sinclair Eiloart, A filthy drug dealing thief , snide little 'public schoolboy' who had a lot of money. His wealthy family, drug dealing and general theivery made him a good income but still he would HAVE to 'WIN' and 'PROFIT' from EVERY single interaction with another human being.
He would HAVE to get 'ONE UP' at all times
Even thoiugh he had a lot of cash he would steal from shops all the time, batteries, sweets, anything just so he FELT like he had 'WON' against whichever supermarket he was in

He was risking getting caught and losing his drug dealing business just for a few batteries or whatever but he couldn'e help himself, it was a CLEPTOMANIA, he just had to 'WIN', it wasn't enough to have plenty of money to buy whatever he wanted to eat, no he had to get 'one up' on the shop

I know, totally batshit crazy

I blame his upbringing in a hyper competetive 'public school' (that's a private or POSH school to the americans) and his judaic family upbringing.
he LOVED usury, he would always charge £10 'fee' if people bought an ounce on 'credit'. A real dirty snide usurer

he would laugh and brag about how he sold people garbage contaminated cannabis, he would think it was great that he had got one over on them. And these were the people who thought he was a friend




REgarding 'sport' .....

'sport' is all about KILLING TIME, it is an INDUSTRY built on the need for dull and boring (thus bored) people to MURDER THIER DAY

The outcome of ALL 'sports' is of no importance , that is one of the defining charachteristics of 'sport', at the end of the 'game'/'match'/'tournament'/'season' you press the RESET BUTTON and all is voided.
You can't carry it with you whatever you 'gained' last season, the whole point of the game was to MURDER the day AND/or get sweaty and semi naked with a load of people of the same sex!!!

Don't start me about the idiots who call 'skateboarding' a 'sport'

it's not a 'sport' , it's a toy
Great post.

Some men - need to domainate the situation and be the alpha male in all situtations. And have a strong insecure need to impose this.

I met many of these wankers.

And sport really is not important at all in relation to "real" life.
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Old 25-03-2011, 11:58 AM   #14
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Originally Posted by flint island View Post
Great post.

Some men - need to domainate the situation and be the alpha male in all situtations. And have a strong insecure need to impose this.

I met many of these wankers.

And sport really is not important at all in relation to "real" life.
Yeh but most of the motions we go through day to day have no relation to 'real life'.
Sport is cool, keeps you fit and happy in the mind but money and corporate bullshit have made it an asset to peddle to the massess, most of whom become spectators.
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Old 25-03-2011, 11:59 AM   #15
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Originally Posted by irrepressible View Post
Good points, you're right, although I get sucked into the football web. I think it's more distraction stuff, and divide and rule stuff. Look at the football rivalries, it's nuts, people 40 miles apart hating each other cos of some men running around grass!.
Its not just retarded commoners hating each other.

Its the big men in the media too.

Listen to talksport - in the night - middle aged getting angry and heated over Englands Poor World Cup show.

Deep deep passionate debate - emotions spilling over -anger - aggression.

Stan Collymore is outraged that the referee waved offside.

Mike Parry is having a heart attack - cos Jermain Defoe - missed a sitter.

Etc
etc

Its totally retarded.

Its just a game of football.

And these men are so wrapped up in the importance of it all - its not even funny - how deluded these people are.
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Old 25-03-2011, 12:01 PM   #16
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Originally Posted by warwick View Post
Yeh but most of the motions we go through day to day have no relation to 'real life'.
Sport is cool, keeps you fit and happy in the mind but money and corporate bullshit have made it an asset to peddle to the massess, most of whom become spectators.
I like sport.

But I am just saying - its not really important - wether England lose a Football game.

These people invest way too much importance in a game with rules -

Real life has nor rules - its just a struggle to survive.
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Old 25-03-2011, 12:04 PM   #17
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Originally Posted by flint island View Post
I like sport.

But I am just saying - its not really important - wether England lose a Football game.

These people invest way too much importance in a game with rules -

Real life has nor rules - its just a struggle to survive.
True but this happens all over the world. I remember that tribe episode where he goes to the stick fighting tournament with the african tribes. There were all the emotions of a cup final going on there...people even got shot!
I think the way a lot of people view sport in this country is distorted through the bullshit fed from the media and how we have been taught as we grow up.
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Old 25-03-2011, 12:08 PM   #18
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Originally Posted by flint island View Post
Its not just retarded commoners hating each other.

Its the big men in the media too.

Listen to talksport - in the night - middle aged getting angry and heated over Englands Poor World Cup show.

Deep deep passionate debate - emotions spilling over -anger - aggression.

Stan Collymore is outraged that the referee waved offside.

Mike Parry is having a heart attack - cos Jermain Defoe - missed a sitter.

Etc
etc

Its totally retarded.

Its just a game of football.

And these men are so wrapped up in the importance of it all - its not even funny - how deluded these people are.
During England's last world cup I was one of the ones shouting at the t.v. but that gave me a bit of a wake up call and I had to have a look at myself. I still want England and Liverpool to win but I'm nowhere near as into it as I was.
In my opinion football today is corrupt as fuck, the amount of money going round is incredible. It's a buisiness.
You've got blokes paying 45 quid (that they can hardly afford) for a ticket to shout at some men who get paid up to £150,000 a week for running round after a ball! what a bizzare world this is!.
The recent budget was banging on about the average family saving £45 per year and yet these footballers are on silly money, just crazy!.
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Old 25-03-2011, 12:21 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by warwick View Post
Yeh but most of the motions we go through day to day have no relation to 'real life'.
Sport is cool
Define "cool"
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Old 25-03-2011, 12:24 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by flint island View Post
Its not just retarded commoners hating each other.

Its the big men in the media too.

Listen to talksport - in the night - middle aged getting angry and heated over Englands Poor World Cup show.

Deep deep passionate debate - emotions spilling over -anger - aggression.

Stan Collymore is outraged that the referee waved offside.

Mike Parry is having a heart attack - cos Jermain Defoe - missed a sitter.

Etc
etc

Its totally retarded.

Its just a game of football.

And these men are so wrapped up in the importance of it all - its not even funny - how deluded these people are.
yes, good points Flint

these men are INVESTING THIER EMOTIONAL ENERGY in another male

clearly not a healthy behaviour for grown 'men', little boys have 'heros' like superman or bat(y)man, grown men should not INVEST thier EMOTIONAL ENERGY in the actions of other males , that is just wrong on so many levels
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