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Old 18-05-2013, 12:23 PM   #21
truthspoon
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Short final scene of Act 1.

Quote:
Act 1 Scene 5

Naomi Spence is in the back of a black cab with Trevor driving and two gentlemen in the back one on each side of Ms Anderson.

Naomi Spence: Where are you taking me?

Mr Hands turns to face Naomi Spence.

Mr Hands: Not you again I hate you, what you did to a child. She lunges for him.

Mr Hands quickly says a word to Trevor, who presses play on the car CD player and a strange disorientating audio track plays with the refrain ‘keep it a secret’ repeated at intervals. As Mr Hands speaks he addresses Naomi as ‘Songbird’ at which point Naomi’s eyes suddenly glaze over and she stares blankly ahead of her.

Mr Hands: My dear Songbird! Now we’ll have no more of that silly business. You really must learn to behave yourself, isn’t that right?

Naomi Spence: robotically Yes, I really must learn to behave myself. I am very sorry.

Mr Hands: I should think so. You really should show some respect, after all we’ve done for you.

Naomi Spence: robotically staring blankly but with an attempt at seduction Is there something I can do for you in return?

Mr Hands: Not now Songbird, we’ve got more important business to attend to. Now we need you to do that something for us.

Naomi Spence starts to remove her top.

Mr Hands: Not that. We need you to get in contact with ‘them’ for us again.

Naomi Spence: a look of terror passes over her face They frighten me.

Mr Hands: Good, they’re supposed to, they’re evil. The powers of darkness wouldn’t be very dark if they welcomed you with sherry and fairy cakes would they?

Naomi Spence: what do want me to say to them this time?

Mr Hands: This time there’s nothing for you to say, just listen to their instructions and pass them on to ME. Think you can manage that Songbird?

Last edited by truthspoon; 18-05-2013 at 12:59 PM.
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Old 19-05-2013, 02:47 AM   #22
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Act I scene IV animated..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QByTkyp-9AM
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Old 20-05-2013, 04:44 AM   #23
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Anyone know who Jacques Cousteau is?
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Old 23-05-2013, 05:53 AM   #24
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I love the build up, and I realise it's necessary and it should be prolonged as long as it can be - - but oh my, I must confess, I can't wait until the bad guys get theirs. But, I am willing to wait, so that our loathing of them builds to fever pitch.

Reading with bated breath.
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Old 03-06-2013, 04:10 PM   #25
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Originally Posted by ruthie7032 View Post
I love the build up, and I realise it's necessary and it should be prolonged as long as it can be - - but oh my, I must confess, I can't wait until the bad guys get theirs. But, I am willing to wait, so that our loathing of them builds to fever pitch.

Reading with bated breath.
Thanks. I'm enjoying writing for Stoned Brick lane goofs Steve and Crew so much that I might be neglecting the rest of the plot.

The other day I wrote a wAYy too long 6 page scene of them stumbling stoned, tripping and hallucinating demons which really are there....just enjoyed it too much.


Anyway, bit more. Act 2 Scene 1:

Quote:
Act 2 Scene 1

The Virgin Woods drama school for cute and attractive children in London.

Mr Hands Miss Lookaway and Mrs Woods are in an office talking.

Mrs Woods: They have agreed to help us by funding a scholarship for poor yet still cute and attractive children for at least ten years. Of course, they have their own requirements and stipulations. They require exclusive rights of the poor yet attractive child so (looking at Mr Hands) hands off, best you keep a reasonable distance at all times. However, Mrs Lookaway, we have particular set of instructions for you. You are to make the child feel acutely class conscious and mildly resentful of the other students. We have prepared a set of role-plays and scripts which you can use in conjunction with other members of staff.

Miss Lookaway: For what reason am I to make the child feel acutely class conscious and mildly resentful of the other students?

Mrs Woods: Is there any requirement for you to know this?

Miss Lookaway: I’ve been here five years Mrs Woods and I haven’t received a pay raise in all that time, I think at least you could reward me by initiating me into the deeper mysteries somewhat.

Mrs Woods looks at Mr Hands who crumples his face like a soiled hanky, then straightens it and imperceptibly nods assent.

Mrs Woods: Very well then Miss Lookaway, since you have served us with due diligence and discretion for the past five years as you say, I think you are ready to be admitted to a certain level of higher responsibility.

Miss Lookaway: Thank you Mrs Woods.

Mrs Woods: The reason the child is to be treat this way is not part of our programme but is something the benefactors of the scholarship have requested as being essential to their involvement. That is the reason.

Miss Lookaway: Oh no you don’t. I want to know the reasoning behind it and what is the final goal. How can I work when I don’t know what I’m working for? It’ll just be another mix-up and end in tears like that poor girl who jumped off the roof that time.

Mr Hands: languidly interrupting I take your point Miss Lookaway. If I tell you why the benefactor has made this request you will have to give us something to show that you are able to be trusted with this information. After all, only myself, Mrs Woods herself and the benefactors themselves are privy to this information. Informing you would mean you were coming closer to the core of our establishment. We need to be able to trust you with sensitive client information, in this unfortunate era of industrial espionage and professional sabotage, such information, were it to fall into the wrong hands could be misconstrued a something it isn’t, putting not just mere people at risk, but the whole foundation of the entertainment industry itself. Do you understand this Miss Lookaway?

Miss Lookaway: What do you want me to do?

Mr Hands: smiles a fruity smile which makes his cheeks red and shiny like dirty apples We’d like you to go ‘all-in’ with us. I’d like you personally to take this young student clears his throat ‘in hand’ if you get my meaning. That is, just so there is no miss understanding laughs to himself, we used to have a teacher called Miss Understanding here you know. Very ‘understanding’ you understand..... But she misunderstood, our aims that is, some things she DID understand of course, so she handed in her resignation. Threatened to go to the papers with the story. Then she met with an accident of course. All very regrettable. Drawing himself up NOW do YOU understand Miss Lookaway? Are you one of us? You’ve looked away Miss Lookaway, don’t think we haven’t noticed, but are you ready to be one of us, to cease to be a spectator and be an agent. An agent of the ‘new-system’. You will be rewarded with whatever your heart desires, you will meet the highest of the land, the rich and famous, you can join us. Do you want to join us? Or would you rather, go the way of poor Miss Understanding. We can do anything. This is our world. It can be yours too. What do you say?

Miss Lookaway: A pay rise?

Mr Hands: laughs delightedly and suddenly contains himself and speaks very slowly and quietly: Oh, so much more than that Miss Lookaway. Much more than that. We’ll make you ‘one of us’. Have you ever wondered why some people seem to earn a lot of money and don’t seem to have to do anything to get all the luck, while others toil away their whole lives fighting to pay the bills, losing their jobs, fighting to survive, while others, just seem to bound from one golden opportunity to the next?

Miss Lookaway about to speak

Mrs Woods: It’s a rhetorical question, there’s no need to speak my dear, just listen.

Mr Hands: Well, if you want to come in with us then you will be in the same position. You will never have to worry about your bills or rent of anyone coming after you for money ever again. You will be as one with the world. Not fighting anymore, but on the same side. The world will fall at your feet and shower you in everything you could want in a world of friendly convenience and mutual support. Tell me now, are you in?

Miss Lookaway: That’s the easiest decision I’ve ever had to make: You bet I am!

Mrs Woods: Well we have a special club which helps us. You’ll need to come along and join.

Miss Lookaway: But I’m already in a special club. Miss Lookaway offers Mrs Woods her hand to shake who takes it and gives it a special squeeze.

Mrs Woods: Ahh! I see you’re already one of us after all. Ok Hands, fill her in. She’s on the level.

Mr Hands: surprised Oh I see, well fancy that! I suppose that’s why you’re here with us. I must say I am perpetually surprised at the way in which our great Tailor in the sky arranges things.

Miss Lookaway: You mean the Goddess of the golden lake?

Mr Hands: Well, what’s a little miss translation between brother and sister eh? Miss Translation....have we ever had a Miss Translation on the payroll Mrs Woods?

Mrs Woods: Not that I recall.

Mr Hands laughs indulgently to himself.

Mr Hands: That settles it. You will come along this evening to our lodgement where you will receive further illumination of the path you are on and we will be able to adjudge how far your path might stretch out before you and perhaps new pathways will be opened to you.

Miss Lookaway: Thankyou. I think this is just what I have been waiting for.

Mr Hands: Yes it probably is. And just to encourage your fervour somewhat, I think we WILL start with a pay-rise. What do you think about an extra counts on his fingers five thousand.

Miss Lookaway: How did you guess?

Mr Hands: Miss Lookaway?

Miss Lookaway: Five-thousand! That’s my lucky number!

Mr Hands and Miss Lookaway laugh indulgently.

Mrs Woods: So Miss Lookaway, we have looked through applications from the poor yet still cute and attractive applicants and Mr Hands and I have decided that this student holding up an application letter with photo attached should be the student to receive the scholarship. Reading Cecillia Green. Hobbies: singing, dancing and playing hockey. Favourite TV shows: Inspector Blood’s Brutal-Murder mystery, Hyper-girls sugar-rush dance time, Carnage Ward and Backstreets.

Mr Hands: Good! 100 percent hit-rate. All our shows and all our people. She already has the ethos!

Miss Lookaway: As long as they don’t want to do Shakespeare or Chekov we’re on the same page.

Mrs Woods: continuing to read aloud favourite singer: Player Attitude. Ambition: wants to be a soap-star and pop singer. Yep, she was one of ours too. God what a fruitcake she was: Naomi Spence.

Miss Lookaway: Classic over wound and frantic pop-star. Hasn't she done a runner or something? An accident waiting to happen in my opinion.

Mrs Woods: Well, we did have a hand in it... or rather you did, right Mr Hands? You’re still involved with her aren’t you? Keeping her on the right square.

Mr Hands: Well someone has to handle her. Just doing what I’m paid for, though I should get extra for the trauma of having listen to her sing. She was quite pretty when she came to us, she’s too old for me now, that kind of thing doesn’t appeal to me at all. As you shall see tonight Miss Lookaway.

Last edited by truthspoon; 03-06-2013 at 07:45 PM.
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Old 06-06-2013, 09:13 AM   #26
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Originally Posted by edelweiss pirate View Post
Thanks. I'm enjoying writing for Stoned Brick lane goofs Steve and Crew so much that I might be neglecting the rest of the plot.

The other day I wrote a wAYy too long 6 page scene of them stumbling stoned, tripping and hallucinating demons which really are there....just enjoyed it too much.


Anyway, bit more. Act 2 Scene 1:
I know what you mean. It's both exciting and exhausting to be working on a plot and doing other things as well. But when other projects finish (even though you've greatly enjoyed them, as well you should), think of the time you can then devote to those works you've (by necessity of time constraints) given a rest to. Even if it winds up going into the Autumn.

To say you're an excellent writer is an understatement. This forum (absolutely great in it's own right) is enhanced so very much by your contributions. Your posts and comments here are like little gems of brilliance sprinkled out across the threads. You have a brilliant mind, and your descriptions of others' actions in your writing just make the scenes come alive with vivid mind pictures. I know I don't have your talents or abilities but I certainly recognise fineness when I see it!

So many of us here feel so alone and misunderstood in this life, we waste hours, days, lifetimes. Perhaps if we had purpose, even if it were to write a little adventure story of how we wish our world and our lives could be, even if we can't live it for whatever reason at the moment, perhaps just by writing it, there would be some measure of closure for injustices we've all suffered that we feel so helpless about otherwise. Perhaps we'd find a sense of belonging and camaradie in our story to make our lives happy, much as those in Tales of the Decameron when the Black Death hit.

What I'm trying to say is, if ever you have time, I would love to co-write an adventure story with you on the forum. Written only in our leisure, at our convenience, and with absolutely no pressure whatsoever, the sole incentives being excitement, adventure, fun and justice! Enlightenment could be added as well. Add to it as one wishes - and/or - give it a miss for months. No pressure. It will wait. I want nothing from it except the pleasure of being able to write it with others who feel much as I do about the world, who see the injustices, the mini-triumphs, etc. And if others here wished to join in the writing, that would make it all the better! Like minds! - much as dear Madman's thread about 'add to this story', only with a more serious tone and direction.

Everyone contribute what they wished, or not. You, who I consider to be just the very best, could lead by example. Yet still - no pressure! Only if and when you wished. These are just thoughts I've had.

I will leave these thoughts in your capable hands, trusting you will do (or not do), as you see fit with no time constraints or pressure of any kind. I have the utmost confidence in any decisions you make (or not). Thank you for reading and considering these thoughts.

I just love your work! It's remarkable and always a treat to get to read.
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Old 06-06-2013, 09:45 AM   #27
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ruthie7032 View Post
I know what you mean. It's both exciting and exhausting to be working on a plot and doing other things as well. But when other projects finish (even though you've greatly enjoyed them, as well you should), think of the time you can then devote to those works you've (by necessity of time constraints) given a rest to. Even if it winds up going into the Autumn.

To say you're an excellent writer is an understatement. This forum (absolutely great in it's own right) is enhanced so very much by your contributions. Your posts and comments here are like little gems of brilliance sprinkled out across the threads. You have a brilliant mind, and your descriptions of others' actions in your writing just make the scenes come alive with vivid mind pictures. I know I don't have your talents or abilities but I certainly recognise fineness when I see it!

So many of us here feel so alone and misunderstood in this life, we waste hours, days, lifetimes. Perhaps if we had purpose, even if it were to write a little adventure story of how we wish our world and our lives could be, even if we can't live it for whatever reason at the moment, perhaps just by writing it, there would be some measure of closure for injustices we've all suffered that we feel so helpless about otherwise. Perhaps we'd find a sense of belonging and camaradie in our story to make our lives happy, much as those in Tales of the Decameron when the Black Death hit.

What I'm trying to say is, if ever you have time, I would love to co-write an adventure story with you on the forum. Written only in our leisure, at our convenience, and with absolutely no pressure whatsoever, the sole incentives being excitement, adventure, fun and justice! Enlightenment could be added as well. Add to it as one wishes - and/or - give it a miss for months. No pressure. It will wait. I want nothing from it except the pleasure of being able to write it with others who feel much as I do about the world, who see the injustices, the mini-triumphs, etc. And if others here wished to join in the writing, that would make it all the better! Like minds! - much as dear Madman's thread about 'add to this story', only with a more serious tone and direction.

Everyone contribute what they wished, or not. You, who I consider to be just the very best, could lead by example. Yet still - no pressure! Only if and when you wished. These are just thoughts I've had.

I will leave these thoughts in your capable hands, trusting you will do (or not do), as you see fit with no time constraints or pressure of any kind. I have the utmost confidence in any decisions you make (or not). Thank you for reading and considering these thoughts.

I just love your work! It's remarkable and always a treat to get to read.

I am humbled by your kind words. I've never tried co-writing before. Nice idea. I like it. If you stick around the forum it could be a summer project or something. I've given myself 3 weeks to finish this play/script in its entirety so from July I would be very happy to be involved in this project.

What would be the form? To start a thread here which we can easily add too, one page, paragraph or even one sentence at a time?
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Old 06-06-2013, 09:53 AM   #28
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Still referential.
Eddie Izard had a short lived and before its time thang on TV a while ago all the actors dressed as cows.
It died for two main reasons... One the cow suits and Two overlong chunks of speech.
If you don't go for a cut every minute or so people just lose interest and switch off.
Sign of the times and shorter attention spans.
I've enjoyed reading it as text it's good stuff Edelweiss , maybe could do with a few more laffs but without editing it's referential to a format that has been done and sank and it would be a shame if this did.
Hope that's taken as constructive, it was intended to be.
Good luck with it, writing's hard graft.
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Old 06-06-2013, 09:56 AM   #29
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Still referential.
It has the word 'apocalypse'. That's the only similarity. The title could easily be changed it's not a problem. Blimey GM stop being fudgety. Whatever that means.

I'd never even heard of 'The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse' before you brought it up.

I'm not that bothered if it is referential, which it isn't because I'd never heard of that book before.

The story and script can speak for themselves.


The idea for my story is that it is a satire on present day events which really happen, freemasonry, the occult, child abuse, satanism and odd places such as the certain child acting schools which create a climate of sexual access to children and cover up of the abuse.

The idea had been in my mind for a long time but the recent Ben Fellows revelations and the Masonic connections to a certain 'drama school' put it all in place for me.

Far as I know Rankin neither writes about these nor did he event them.

Anyone got a better idea for a title to get GM and his copyright claim off my back?

It was only a working title after all.

I just love the word 'apocalypse' makes something sound 'absolute'.

Last edited by truthspoon; 06-06-2013 at 10:05 AM.
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Old 06-06-2013, 02:09 PM   #30
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Originally Posted by edelweiss pirate View Post
I am humbled by your kind words. I've never tried co-writing before. Nice idea. I like it. If you stick around the forum it could be a summer project or something. I've given myself 3 weeks to finish this play/script in its entirety so from July I would be very happy to be involved in this project.

What would be the form? To start a thread here which we can easily add too, one page, paragraph or even one sentence at a time?
I am honoured and so happy about this. July is just fine. I have commitments the 2nd week in July and the 2nd week in August, those are the only two I know about so far, otherwise I'll be here.

I'll make a thread right now here in this section called "Story Notes" and get right to it.
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Old 08-06-2013, 09:47 AM   #31
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Originally Posted by ruthie7032 View Post
I am honoured and so happy about this. July is just fine. I have commitments the 2nd week in July and the 2nd week in August, those are the only two I know about so far, otherwise I'll be here.

I'll make a thread right now here in this section called "Story Notes" and get right to it.
Wunderbar Ruthie.... I shall enjoy scratching my head having a go at this little project.


Meanwhile, here is the next scene, which some of you may have seen already elsewhere:


Quote:
Act 2 scene 2

Secret meeting place of the Order of the Knights of the sacred trousers' worldwide headquarters.

Enter a topless man with a plastic bag over his head shuffling into the room with his trousers around his ankles.

Warden: Has this man been properly dazed and confused senior officer?

Senior officer: Aye, he has been duly twirled around.

Warden: Has he been tripped over and shoved three times senior officer?

Senior officer: Aye, he has been tripped thricefold and thereupon he was rolled around the ground.

Warden: Has his shirt been properly stolen and the buttons from his trousers duly removed?

Senior warden: Aye It has all taken place as so ordained.

Senior officer: And the shirt has been duly sacrificed?

Warden: It has.

Senior Officer: And the buttons thus scattered to the four corners of the globe?

Warden: (throws the buttons which he was holding behind his back into a corner of the room) Yes.

Senior Officer: It is well done. (addressing the man with the plastic bag on his head) You are here of your own free will are you not?

Man with the bag on his head (muffled): Yes.

Senior Officer: And it is your fervent desire to join the trouser knights?

Man with the bag on his head: Yes.

Senior Officer: Do you swear to uphold the majesty of the order of the trousers in all you say and do and to always be willing to give up your trousers if a brother knight is found in greater need of trousers than yourself?

Man with the bag on his head: I am.

Senior officer: What has happened to your own trousers? Why are you wearing them at half mast?

Warden whispers the words to the Man with the bag on his head who then repeats them: In mourning for the death of the master-tailor.

Senior officer: Why was the master tailor killed?

Man with the bag on his head: For keeping the secret of the sacred stitches.

Senior officer: And how will you recognise a true brother knight?

Man with the bag on his head: By examining his trousers.

Senior officer: And you will be on your guard in the company of the profane, namely: men who wear shorts, gentlemen of a female persuasion and the Scottish. You must never reveal the secrets of our order. The penalty for doing so will be to have your bobbins removed, your piping unstitched, your gusset hewn out and your cloth and trimmings burnt as off-cuts unworthy of the Master draper. Do you thus swear to protect the secrets of the order and accept the just penalties?

Man with the bag on his head: I do.

Senior officer (to assistant tailor): You may remove the bag of ignorance.

The bag is removed from the man’s head, as the bag is removed he is presented with a new pair of trousers.

Senior officer: These are the trousers of a true knight of our order. You will be known to your brothers in them and likewise your brothers will be known to you. Put them on and join us as a fully initiated Knight of the trouser!

The men line up to form a human tunnel. Cheers and clapping as The Man wriggles free of his old trousers smiling and puts on the new trousers.

Senior officer: Now you are ready to be tested as a knight of our order. All Knights undergo hardships and trials in their pursuit of the true knowledge of the Great Tailor in the sky. Your first trail as an apprentice tailor will be the pressings!

The man is led through the human tunnel and his face changes to uncertainty and then terror as he is beaten roughly on the bottom as he goes through the human tunnel.

Senior officer: Now we shall begin the business of the lodge as we welcome our newest Tailor to take his place in your ranks. The man takes a seat which is shown to him while nursing his bottom.

The Grand-Master stands up.

Grand-Master: Gentlemen, we are faced with a deadly danger to our noble profession.

Murmurs There are people out there members of the poorly tailored profane rabble, who would come between us and our ultimate work: The tailoring of mankind. I say this to all the gentlemen here and I say this also to all the invisible amorphous ageless beings who have watched and helped us with our great work for the past 5 thousand years, I say this, we have never been closer to achieving our goal than as we are right now! Never before have so many people been so easily reachable by our instruments and never before have these people been under the illusion that it is their free-will which directs them to do as we bid them.

Never before has there been so little resistance to us and never before has there been so much dependence on us. The time of ripeness is at hand, and we shall soon harvest the fruit of this Earth for our masters of a bounty and richness never before known. Our Great-Dressmaker in the sky will measure us all out our due rewards if we succeed. But should we fail. I need not tell you of the instruments which our even handed and fair minded master has at his disposal. The needle, the seam-ripper and the pinking shears await each and every one of us in the great haberdashery in the sky when we will be called to account for measuring up short.

Imagine a pin-cushion, each pin a prick of the conscience for everything we could have done better for his and our plan to succeed. So think of the pin-cushion gentlemen. This will be your fate should you in any way fall short in your zeal to conclude our business on Earth for our Master. The eternal stabbing on and on, relentless thrusting into your very soul.

But enough, let us not clog our spirits with fear of the consequences of our failure when we are so close to success, and that is a testimony to your ceaseless efforts in your diverse fields of endeavour. The Grand Master gestures to a particular group of people in the chamber.

You scientists for instance. Your work has been seamless, on the one hand you have managed to control even reality itself for these untailored people. What they think they know about this world, WE have told them. Yet what we have not told them and what they may suspect may exist of the spirit world, we have told them squarely DOES NOT EXIST. This includes the very existence of our Master and his amorphous ageless eternal servants themselves, so they are assailed at all sides by us. By the spiritual warriors of our Master who daily plague them with a thousand suspicions, terrors and uncertainties by their subtle arts of temporary possession, and by our scientists who tell them there is nothing to be afraid of in the dark, when indeed THERE IS.

And for that matter, also tells them that there is no one who can save them in the light, when indeed, again THERE IS. We have totally disarmed the population of the one weapon we cannot fight against, and in fact, we have mostly turned them against their very benefactor.

Turning to another group in the room. And you, representing the forces of the media have been our very voice. Whispering calamity, incessantly, constantly. Befuddling and vexing the profane masses until they are nothing but reflex machines which can be controlled and studied at will with a perfect degree of accurate prediction. You indulge them in unattainable dreams and fantasies on one hand, then bring them their penance with daily murder and violence. You have taught the world to dream the nightmares we bring them. You drug them into a stupor of despair by six o’clock, and then you enroll them in our vision of the world. The brutality, the death, theft avarice. THE DRAMA! What a word! How hungrily the sheep chomp down the poisoned herbage with relish. We give them drama, turmoil, confusion, and ultimately, pain. You have brought their minds low with pain and misery which they internalise as their own and they are ready for us now to take to the final stage.

Man at the back: Whispering to another man What’s all this got to do with tailoring? I only joined because I thought this was some kind of dress-making hobby club. I wanted to learn to make clothes.

Other man at the back: It’s only a metaphor!

Man at the back: If I’d known it was only a metaphor I would have stayed at home the evenings instead of getting involved in all this world domination stuff.

Other man at the back: Well it’s a bit late for that now isn’t it? Didn’t you cotton on that that’s what this was all really about?

Man at the back: Well, I just kind of tuned it out and hoped one week we’d all start learning to make clothes. Besides, the dinners are nice.

Other man at the back: Well you’re in now to the bitter end.

Man at the back: Oh come on, it’s not that serious.

Other man at the back: It IS, it’s deadly serious. Did you not remember the penalties you agreed to if you neglected your fellow tailors?

Man at the back: That was the only bit I really enjoyed, all the talk of stitches and gussets, I thought we were getting somewhere at last.

Other man at the back: Shh, he’s looking this way, better keep it to yourself.

Man at the back: No why should I? I have a right to express myself, I don’t care if he calls himself Master Whatsit, I’ve never feared no man.

Master Tailor: Gesturing to the men at the back You men at the back! No doubt planning fresh intrigues to help us on our way. I do not recall your professions at present, tell the assembly what activity you have recently been doing that we may share in its subtlety and devious design.

Other man at the back whispering: Now you’ve done it!

Man at the back: I’m not scared standing up Er, well, I was just discussing with my friend here how I’d wish we learned more about clothes making than all this other stuff we always talk about every week.

Other man at the back quickly standing up: No, that’s not true your Master, it was him who was discussing it and I was telling him to shut up. It’s nothing to do with me sir, it’s all his idea.

Man at the back: Yeah, that’s right. I only joined because I like clothes and thought that you’d teach me how to make them. And dinners too of course. I like the dinners. Nervous Laughter

Master tailor: Ahh, you like clothes and dinners indeed. Well, what is your name?

Man at the back: James Snippet.

Master tailor: And what is your trade?

James: I'm a press man. I work for the Daily Baiter.

Master tailor: Well 'Brother Snippet', so I expect you’d like me to personally teach you how to make clothes is that it? (laughter)

Trevor: If it isn’t too much trouble your Master.

Master tailor suppressing a grin: I think we may have a little job for you to do, after which I will personally teach you all there is to know about making clothes. Does this appeal to you?

James: Yeah!

Master Tailor slyly: Goooood!

John Hampton: raising from his chair and is acknowledged by the Master, John then gives the secret sign of the sheathed scissors with his right hand I’m a brother from the east and was there taught to tailor at the highest grades. I would also like to volunteer as I long for my cutting and marking tools to be put to good use again.

Master Tailor: eyes John narrowly As I see that you are an able and experienced tailor who may be able to impart new skills from afar you will join us. You will of course be duly tested in due course as to fittingness of your accoutrements but I have no doubt you will not be found wanting. But we shall have quite a different role for you than that we have planned for Brother Snippet.

John Hampton: Thank you Master Tailor.

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Old 08-06-2013, 10:19 AM   #32
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You see I like this... there is a lot of subtle humour... and I like the Cluedoesque names... Mr Hands and Miss Lookaway

The freemason scene is quite Monty Python... Life of Brian... everybody at the back wondering what's going on...

This bit...

Man at the back: If I’d known it was only a metaphor I would have stayed at home the evenings instead of getting involved in all this world domination stuff.




I would have like to have seen your 6 page tripping scene... maybe it could still be included as a type of DMT experience where one of the characters enters a different dimension and learns great truths that he immediately forgets on coming down....

I write too and have a short story that I would love to make into a screenplay as it's made for it... I've given it a go but it's harder than it looks isn't it?

Eidelweiss... have you any ideas of who you might pick to play your characters.... I see a Skinny Steve (Skinny Pete?) type... from Breaking Bad... in there somewhere....

Who would play Naomi Spence?

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Old 08-06-2013, 10:26 AM   #33
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You see I like this... there is a lot of subtle humour... and I like the Cluedoesque names... Mr Hands and Miss Lookaway

The freemason scene is quite Monty Python... Life of Brian... everybody at the back wondering what's going on...

This bit...

Man at the back: If I’d known it was only a metaphor I would have stayed at home the evenings instead of getting involved in all this world domination stuff.




I would have like to have seen your 6 page tripping scene... maybe it could still be included as a type of DMT experience where one of the characters enters a different dimension and learns great truths that he immediately forgets on coming down....
Don't worry buddy.... it's coming in act 3.

The deal is they get this new type of weed which allows them to see the covert forces controlling this world..... But you've given me an idea on what to do when they meet one of the 'controllers' personally perhaps. Still a work in progress.
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Old 08-06-2013, 10:29 AM   #34
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Don't worry buddy.... it's coming in act 3.

The deal is they get this new type of weed which allows them to see the covert forces controlling this world..... But you've given me an idea on what to do when they meet one of the 'controllers' personally perhaps. Still a work in progress.
Yes... a bit like the glasses in 'They Live' Is it 'They Live'? Minds gone today...

'Here Man... have a pull on this'... handing over spliff...'see for yourself....'

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Old 08-06-2013, 06:44 PM   #35
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Yes... a bit like the glasses in 'They Live' Is it 'They Live'? Minds gone today...

'Here Man... have a pull on this'... handing over spliff...'see for yourself....'
Exactly....you've got it!
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Old 09-06-2013, 08:51 AM   #36
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Each time I began to quote back to you a sentence or paragraph from your latest installment to comment on, the next paragraph I read equalled or superseded the previous. I am referring specifically to Grand-Master's chilling and candid speech.

In Grand-Master's speech, Truth begins rising up through us (the audience), grasping us by the shoulders and shaking us till our teeth chatter.

Imagine this in theatre, with stage lights casting appropriate colours and shadows. Could a room's collective consciousness even begin to absorb it all without rupturing? It would be as though that room awakened (tangibly, in a Kundalini sense) all at once.

Pure enlightenment . . . so powerful, startling and staggering . . . that the mind (pure consciousness) could only assimilate it in the form of a masterpiece . . . like this.
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Old 16-06-2013, 09:02 PM   #37
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Act 2 scene 3

Quote:
A room in the basement of the head-quarters of the Knights of the sacred Trousers. There are red and black drapes on the walls. At one end of the room is an altar with a representation of a horned head. In the middle of the room is a table covered with a black cloth with a black chalice and ceremonial knife next to it. The room is thick with cigar-smoke. Miss Lookaway Mr Hands, enter the room and join a hooded figure who is there on his knees before the altar.
Mr Hands kneels encouraging Miss Lookaway to do the same, they say “Ave Satanas” to the horned head there, three times.

The hooded figure turns to Miss Lookaway, he is smoking a cigar.

Johnny St Vile: Now then now then young lady! I see my friend the handy Mr Hands has found a new friend to come and play with us. Isn’t that nice? Yes it is. Very nice indeed. We like having new friends coming along don’t we Mr Hands? Yes we do! We’re always on the look out for new friends to join us here. Y’see young lady, this here little club of ours what we’ve got here is a very special little club and there’s lots of very special people who are all friends of ours. If you see anyone what is famous on the telly then the chances are they are friends of ours. Now Mr Hands is bringing you here because you want to be friends with us, and one thing friends do, is that they look after each other. Isn’t that right Mr Hands?

Mr Hands: Yes Johnny.

Johnny St Vile: Just ask yourself what can Uncle Johnny do for you? Now then young lady, when I’ve finished doing things for you there’s going to be a little something you can do for me. That special posh drama school you work at with all those lovely posh little boys and girls, well you know me and how I like to help all the little boys and girls to get on in life and make their dreams come true on the telly, well, sometimes I like to bring one of the lovely little boys and girls here for a bit of a party. Now your name’s Miss Lookaway, well my name’s Johnnie Lookafter, as in, I’ll ‘lookafter’ you. How’s about that then?

Miss Lookaway: Astounded looking around I didn’t think Satanism really existed, they always told me at the coven that it was a myth invented by Christians to attack us pagans.

Johnny St Vile: Ahhhh, ugi ugi, now you cut to the very nub of it little Miss. Now you have so you have! Lord Satan is alive and well. Let me tell you a little bit about our friend over there indicating the altar and the horned head. He doesn’t judge us but he does listen to us, and unlike that stuffy Christian God Johnnie spits on the floor as if something dirty was in his mouth he works for us, not the other way around. As you ask, so shall ye receive. Look at me, I’m everywhere, everyone knows my name, the country would be a totally different place without me, and every scrap of golden jewellery I own, I owe to lord Satan. It started a long long time ago little Miss. I was introduced to the glorious kingdom of Lucifer when I was a very small child and it’s all I’ve ever known, but let me tell you what, it’s the best party in town. Anything goes, anything you fancy. A little bit of this and a little bit of that makes the world go around. Look at the Romans, the greatest empire the world has ever known, the highest civilisation, they came to Britain and they brought hygiene, wine, good living and peace. Nothing we do here isn’t what they used to do as well. In a way that’s really what we are, the Roman empire, but it’s such a great party that we’re keeping it a secret and only our best friends are invited to come along. You are one of our very best friends now Miss Lookaway.
And tonight we’re going to have a party!

Johnny leads Miss Lookaway over to the table, Miss Lookaway sees the ceremonial knife please don’t be afraid Miss Lookaway, it won’t hurt, we need some of your blood for our Lord, so he can know who you are. It won’t be you lying on that table tonight, that’s for one of my little girls they’re going to bring for me later. I like the little girls, anything above 16 is brain damage. The good little girls do as they’re told y’see. You needn’t be involved if you don’t want to, we’ll find out what you like later.
Johnny takes the knife, this won’t hurt a bit, well, maybe just a bit.

St Vile cuts Miss Lookaway’s wrist with a long cut and drains the blood into the black chalice, Johnny then fastens his mouth over the wound and some for me. He then takes the chalice over to the horned head and pours some of it into the demon’s mouth. Suddenly Miss Lookaway feels extremely faint and dizzy, this is as a result of the drug which St Vile has directly administered into her blood with the edge of the knife. She reels over and falls to ground directly in front of the horned head. What happens next happens solely in Miss Lookaway’s now completely intoxicated brain and we as mere spectators can only guess as to what hellish visions and new understandings may have taken place there.

Johnny St Vile: addressing Miss Lookaway That’s it my keen young lady, he has the taste of you now, can’t you feel it? Listen to the words which he tells you, he has special instructions for you. Miss Lookaway is rolling around the floor in a confused and bewildered state, her eyes wide with terror as she hears the words of the demon Satan coming from out of the horned head. Suddenly, the eyes flash bright orange like a cat’s caught in a car’s headlamps. Miss Lookaway passes out with terror. The rest of her delirium will be a private affair.



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Old 17-06-2013, 03:35 PM   #38
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Excellent descriptions; they make one feel as though one is watching these events unfold straight from the theatre. Your great choice of character names becomes even more fitting with each new part.

Enlightening an audience to the fact that this kind of activity does, tragically, exist in our world takes a most intelligent and determined writer. It is not a task for the faint of heart. I deeply admire your courage and your sense of social responsibility on the undertaking of this mission.

Can't wait for the next part, Edelweiss! As always, your works are beyond superb!
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Old 24-06-2013, 05:17 PM   #39
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Next...


Quote:
Act 2 Scene 4

Naomi Spence in trance and the ‘beings’.

Mr Hands: Songbird, may I introduce one of our new friends, this is Miss Lookaway. A demented and terror struck Miss Lookaway says a conspiratorial ‘hello’ to Naomi Spence who is still in the guise of the Songbird alter.

Naomi: Smiles with all the sweetness of her escort/demon being channeling alter How do you do? Very pleased to meet you!

Mr Hands: to Miss Lookaway who almost seems to jump as Mr Hands addresses her We find she is far more personable as Songbird than Platitude, personally I couldn’t stand more than 30 seconds in the company of that young lady, too many rough edges, but then, I suspect the feeling is mutual. Mr Hands looks Miss Lookaway up and down. Don’t worry Miss Lookaway, you’ll get used to your new condition eventually. I might be able to give you something to take the edge off. In the meantime try to sharpen up eh? Anyway, Songbird is the name we use to activate her mind control. Every one of our famous friends have their own triggers which only we know, the word has to be unusual enough that they don’t get accidentally activated and lapse into a trance half way through doing their shopping for instance, but it has happened at times, no doubt you’ve heard of Wembley Sparrs?

There is a special coded knock at the door.

Mr Hands: Addresses the door sharplyThe bird fights its way out of the egg. The egg is the world. Who would be born must destroy a world. The bird flies to God. What is his name?

John Hampton: Abraxas

Mr Hands: Come!

John Hampton enters the room.

Mr Hands: Brother Hampton of the Knights of the sacred trousers I presume? I am Brother Hands, as for the name of the organisation which vouches for me you need not concern yourself.

John Hampton looks around and notices both Tommy Sugarspoon and Naomi Spence.

Mr Hands: Yes, I am sure you are familiar with our two special friends here from the ignoble world of the television set and the compact disk player. They are in their special places right now, I am assured that you are familiar with our methods?

John Hampton: Of course.

Mr Hands: Oh dear me, where are my manners? Turning to Miss Lookaway May I introduce you to
one of our old friends from the far-east, John Hampton, one of our trusted friends from the tailoring brotherhood. Brother Hampton this is Miss Lookaway a freshly born Mother of darkness. She will help you in this evening’s operations.

John Hampton gives a particular handshake which Miss Lookaway answers.

Mr Hands addressing John soto voce : The thing is with these two people is that they are rather effective spirit mediums but of late their efficacy seems to be diminishing so we will need new blood. This is why Miss Lookaway is here to help us. She is about to acquire a new student under the auspices of your own good brotherhood, and this young lady, a Miss Cecilia Green, has been chosen to help us establish contact with our other ‘friends’. Brother Hampton, you are to work closely with Miss Lookaway here in an elaborate role-play which will secure for us the services of the young Miss Green.

Not sure this scene is complete though.

Would appreciate any ideas some writers.

Last edited by truthspoon; 24-06-2013 at 05:21 PM.
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Old 25-06-2013, 08:20 AM   #40
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Just read the second part The song/dance part was quite vivid... a thought...

I watched a bit of Britain's Got Talent on Sat... don't judge me, I watch The Voice with my teens and we were waiting for it to come on... there was the most awful act on there... I was appalled but the audience loved it... primary school children doing some frenetic dance complete with hip thrusts and illuminati eye signals... the lot.... my own children are wised up so they were as horrified as me... maybe the backing dancers in your play could be children... if not in this scene later on...

Here it is... how people think this is cute is beyond me... the children call themselves Pre-Skool


http://youtu.be/B3qlJJCm7R4
When I was a little girl my girl scout troop were guests on the Uncle Bob Show at the KGUN 9 studios in Tucson, Arizona.

When we (kids in the studio audience) clapped and cheered it was because there was a guy facing us holding large cue cards that said 'CHEER!', 'APPLAUD!', 'LAUGH!', 'STAND!', etc., while also gesturing with his arms, motioning us to do so. It's something the television audience does not get to see.

It's fake manufactured laughing and cheering just for show (choreographed - for the television viewers).
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