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Old 27-02-2017, 10:39 AM   #12
paddy_blake
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Join Date: Sep 2015
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OmChi View Post
It was just over 4 years ago when I started watching YouTube videos and reading online articles about David Icke and the information he was presenting the world with. I recall saying to myself "I remember hearing this guy talking about reptilians years ago" - It was just a faint memory of an interview he did with a native African(?), I'm not sure.

I was going through a rough patch in a relationship and at work, so I spent all my free time buried in my computer - the safe zone. I started bingeing David Icke videos, it was fascinating, but also very disturbing. I'd been brought up on the internet, so I'd seen and heard my fair share of what humans are capable of. However, the things that David was discussing were on another level of depravity. I was really struggling to come to terms with how something so sinister could be operating on a global scale. Perhaps I was too gullible, maybe it was my own fault for always seeing the best in people.

I watched more videos and read more articles. Not just David's vids, any and all vids connected with the topics. It was official - I'd been red-pilled, and I absolutely wasn't prepared for it.

My world was shattered.

I started distancing myself from others, especially my girlfriend who was the only person I ever trusted. I was in a different frame of mind, I didn't even know who I was anymore. I started talking about the world differently, as though it didn't mean anything. Questioning how and why there was so much evil.

She left me. We both knew it was going to happen, it was only a matter of time. We'd been together almost 10 years and was the only person I'd ever had feelings for. I remember the first day and night I spent alone. I'm almost certain that was the day I officially snapped and lost my grip on what everyone calls 'reality.'

I don't want to go too deeply into my mental state as it is right now, but there have been moments I sincerely believe that what I learned over the years has caused me to become psychotic.
Not the ranting and raving guns blazing psychotic, I mean mentally I've become unstable and not what society would categorize as normal. I believe I've lost my self-identity.

These have been the consequences for me coming to terms with the information.


I'd like to know if anyone has gone through anything similar.

Thanks for reading.


TL;DR - Got red-pilled, lost my self-identity, pretty sure I developed psychosis.
I'm sorry to hear about what happened to you. You seem to very aware of the process of your own mental and emotional breakdown, and you've entered what could best be described as 'the dark night of the soul'.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spiritual_crisis

Some of us have gone through it, and come out reborn on the other side as wiser and more spiritual, whereas others turn the opposite, towards insanity or evil.

My advice, is to search for a way to heal yourself. Whether you choose to go through the mental health system, or through religion, spirituality, or through self-help books, it's your own personal journey.
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