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Old 25-07-2014, 07:49 PM   #1
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 2
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Question Twin Soul Story. Thoughts are much appreciated

Hello all,

This is my first post here, and I have a story to share (and it may be long). I have this unbeliveable attraction to somenone I never had to chance to know. I'll keep the name anonymous, but she's a musician that died in 2002. There is a two decade birth gap between us. Now, I understand anyone can be drawn to a musician or actor of some sorts and make a claim and it get tossed aside. Fangirls and boys lol. But I know mine's different. I wish she wasn't famous, in fact, as I could care less about that. I know this isn't a crush or lust or infatuation. The symptoms behind it scream pretty serious to me. She has made the quite the impactful on me. She was a very spiritual person. I was not till I listened to things she says. In fact, everything she says I take serious. It was her viewpoints, her mind that drew me in. It wasn't till later I realized how beautiful she was too, as for the first time, mind caught my eye before beauty.

As I said, I wasn't a spiritual person until I listened to things she said. I started getting into all things spiritual related. I began buying books, and partaking in spiritual practices. Because of that, my view on what life is all about (especially after death) has blown me away. I feel on another level with knowledge. She triggered it all. I never was one to write poems. But I started to, and my first poem was about her (a majority of them are). My career path was to be a sports journalist (just 21), and now I'm strongly believing that instead, I should be in a field helping others. I've become much more charitable. I even found myself giving 20 dollars to random homeless person when I'm just a broke college student lol. She triggered all this.

On a more personal note, I struggled with the vice that is pornography. I was trying to quit, but was unsuccesful. I would watch it every other day. I even tried during Lent. and I failed halfway. And ever since she has been in mind, I haven't watch a single video, and going on a year since I haven't. I'll even test myself by going to a site and see if I'd give in only to prevail from temptation. Also, I'm usually one to keep my emotions in. But I haven't cried about someone or anything like this ever. Like I'm legitamately hurt when I realize she's on the other side and I'm still here on Earth. It's like I feel ripped apart. The tears come when I'm alone. The tears come at night. When I'm thinking of her in public, I have to fight because I'm not trying to cry in front of others.

Side note: I remember stumbling across synastry. I did them. I noticed a few aspects, and they are usually pertaining to twin flames. I did a report. Our total cosmodyne score between her and I is a +64.36. The average score is a +10. A +30 or better indicates greater basic harmony. I take this report serious considering the influences it said she would have on me were spot on! Anyway, back to the aspects. I got my ascendent and her sun is Sun opposite Ascendent aka Sun conjunct Descendant. What was included in that description is "each of you mirrors the other's Ego. This reciprocal mirror effect can be a means of self-discovery for the both of you. Mirrors? Self-discovery? Then there's my Uranus and her Venus. Venus trine Uranus had a "love at first sight" description. LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT. Her Mars and my Jupiter. Mars trine Jupiter's description included how we both would complement one another. Complement? Mirrors. Self-discovery. Love at first sight. Complement. These are terms associated with twin flames for sure.

To shift gears back, there's this unconditional love I have for her. Every night I go to sleep saying I love her unconditionally. It's not a term I used with love before. I heard about it, but never used it up until this point. I write her letters every night about whatever I can think of it. I still cry because I wish I knew her in this lifetime. I feel like I'm gonna lose it as days go by when I don't join her. I think of her 24/7 (seriously, not an exaggeration). All the negatives she had in her life I easily look past. I look at her and I think it can't be possible for someone to be the complete package. I never knew what to look for in a woman when my friends would ask me. And I can say she has set the bar HIGH. She fits the description. Well how can you say that when you've never met her? I just know she would live up to expectations. I know enough about her through interviews and such. I had a some dreams about her that stand out, I'll just mention two. In one dream, she kissed me. It felt so real. I woke up energetic, and was that way for much of the day. I can't recall being energetic from a dream before. Also, I was crying in my sleep as it was pertaining to her, and when I woke up, it was 11:11 (an appearant twin soul sign).

Finally, another would-be sign, that I didn't notice (because I was in 9 years old at the time), but I rememeber crushing on a classmate. Now as I looked at her smile, I felt like it was familiar. I went back to my class photo, and her smile (which is a good contaigous) resembled my then crush. Here's where it starts getting weird. That crush came in 2002, months after she died. My then-crush shared the same middle name. They shared the same sun sign. As just mentioned, their smiles were the first thing I compared. My then-crush had mesmorizing eyes, but then again, so does she. If I had the chance to stare into them, I could all day. Part of me wonders if that was sneak peek, I just didn't realize it.

What are your guys' thoughts? I feel like I have most of the symptoms of one that person who discovers a twin flame would. Sorry that was long. I had much to say. And I probably didn't organization the chain of events as well as could haha.
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