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Old 19-08-2008, 01:13 PM   #18
hold_that_thought
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Originally Posted by mcthompson2x View Post
In a world where anything is possible, I would like to stress that it is entirely possible that many mentally healthy people like to sexually submit or be dominated at their own discretion. The problem is when those people like to be hurt - the desire for pain seems to be a sign of mental instability. This is, however, just from my solitary point of view of the universe. There are billions of people I've never met! It seems like straight pornography seems to explicitly objectify women. Not that gay pornography doesn't do the same sometimes, but it doesn't seem to be the central theme of most of it.

I've registered on the forum, specifically to give my view of this subject. It's started with lesbian rape and then moved on to pornography. The above view is interesting and touches on sexual submission and Domination. I have some experience with this path and I must disavow the above view suggesting that a desire to be hurt is a sign of menatl instability-not so;but I'll get to that.

I am a Dominant to a female submissive. We enjoy a level of understanding to each others needs and desires few 'vanilla' (The term used for 'normal' relationships) marriages and partnerships experience. Non D/s (Dominant/submissive) people would possibly find it hard to spot we have such a relationship, the dynamics are subtle and often unsaid between us. At this point a few of you will be saying 'Yeah, but you're obviously a bully who enjoys beating up women'...

Not so, although some relationships do have sado masochism as part of their dynamics, it is NOT universal, and I cannot stress that enough. D/s is basically a power exchange dynamic. It is no coincidence that high powered professional people from all walks of life (I mean ALL) are by nature submissive in D/s, as it gives them the opportunity to release that everyday need to 'look after' others, and relish the control exchange to a Dominant. It sounds bizarre, but submissives (of both sexes) outnumber Dominants by about three to one. They make a concious decision to take this path. A Dominant (and this is where it should be stressed 'Dominant' rather than bully) holds his/her submissive in awe, 'eh? You serious?' VERY serious.

To give your all to another person is the ultimate demonstartion of trust, sometimes quite literally with your life. I use rope bondage with my submissive, and although it seems strange to some, you have to believe me (and without putting too fine a point on it!) she experiences an incredible feeling of eroticism and completeness-without any further physical contact. Although this does of course occur! How? I know not how, I'm not a submissive, but I know the why. It's because she has a feeling of total relaxation because she doesn't have to think or have independent thought in such a 'scene'. An imperfect analogy would be a pet dog, a devoted but separate loyal partner to it's Mistress or Master. The owner provides totally for the dog, the dog repays with total loyalty and protection, as it sees it's owner as the pack leader.

If you look, you'll find many many articles on D/s and like me as I did, may find your attitude is rather different to what the tabloids may have you believe. Rape is rape, and plays no part on D/s. A true D/s relationship has the three maxims; Safe, sane and consensual. Nothing is ever done without the express understanding that if the submissive gives a 'safe' word, the scene ends-NOW. Some relationships do not use safe words, the belief in their relationship that the Dom uses his/her descretion when to end the scene, again the submissive has given this consent.

Very rarely things can and do go wrong, there was a recent case in Canada where a scene went very very wrong and the woman died. This is terrble but thankfully very rare. I would suggest that the amount of injuries and long term psychological problems in D/s are minute compared with a 'loving' marriage where the bloke comes home and beats the daylights out of his wife, who cannot resort to a safe word. A D/s club does not entertain brutal thugs, such bullies are quickly weeded out and in some cases action is taken. I hope my little contribution although a little off topic addresses an issue that is often misrepresented.


Better? :-)

Last edited by hold_that_thought; 19-08-2008 at 01:28 PM.
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