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Old 22-01-2015, 04:31 AM   #3
rold580
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Nice topic, and thank you for this wonderful thoughts of yours Forgiveness is often considered the best ingredients in healing. But, It's hard to accept negativity, therefore forgiveness is somewhat hard for us to do. Forgiveness is in more of internal state of being and feeling rather than behavior itself. When bitterness encircled us completely, we are the ones who are hurting more than anyone else can. So to achieved the "degree of forgiveness", we must let go of any anxious attachment feelings we have toward another. we need to release all the negative vibes or the anger we have to someone at the moment. For this, we can easily think much smoother or lighter as to how we respond to the situation rather than to act. In short, in order for us to forgive, we need to learn to deal with our primitive feelings, which eventually will lead us to sense of resentment and healthy reaction.

Acceptance either wise, for me, is the core of happiness. Practicing acceptance will lighten your burden, and prepares you in what will happen in the future. Yes, acceptance is a choice and the most difficult phase in decision making. For me, acceptances more on understanding, "the forgive and forget thing", you need to fully understand someone who hurt you, and move to the phase of letting go all the negative that loaded your burden. Just want to share my personal experience to this forgive and forget thing. while i'm growing up, my drug addict father use to abuse me physically and mentally. I can still barely remember the time that he almost beat me to death while under influence of drug, heroin to be more specific. So it leaved a large scar in my life. I hated him for a very long time. Until one day, something change my point of view in life. While sitting in a park, a flyer lying on a ground caught my attention. This flyer turns out to be an invitation for the substance abusers who wants to quit their addiction, here it is Intervention Center Tacoma WA (i will never forget this flyer for this is the thing change my life for good, i actually still have it until now), so an idea pop in me out of nowhere. I gather all the strengths left in me and talked to my father. I swallowed all my pride and "temporary" laid out all of my grudge on him. I convince him to stop his addiction and change his life for better. Some time after that, he beg for forgiveness. Promising to live as a true father to me. At that moment, i realized that you can find peace of mind when the moment you accept, understand and release all the negative envelope your heart and truly forgive the person who hurt you so much.
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