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Old 21-01-2019, 08:03 PM   #360
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Health, Safety and Enjoyment! - A Few Tips and Necessary Safety Measures for the BDSM beginner.

If anyone is thinking of starting upon a BDSM relationship, I shall list a few necessary do's and don't measures and tips to try and make that journey more interesting. You may research this online and find many other matters that should also be taken into consideration, but I shall list a few that readily come to mind. First of all the Dominant should be trusted and known before any sub submits to bondage - this may sometimes be difficult with new aquaintances. However, for a good BDSM relationship there should also be the right chemistry between you and your partner, so do not delve straight into a session without knowing what you are getting into. At worst with submission and bondage with a stranger, you could be putting yourself at risk from a sexual sadist or even a serial killer. It is an easy mistake to make- so please always be aware of the consequences of your actions, and ensure your partner can be trusted entirely. Don't assume it cannot happen to you! Serial killers often use BDSM as a preliminary for a willing victim. Once you are tied up it is too late. It does happen - I can assure you! So be careful. (Most serial killers stay off and under the radar until several victim's bodies are discovered.) Never trust someone else's reference.
Have pre-arranged safe words or signals that may be used to stop play or to speak with your partner. Avoid BDSM partners who are inebriated or using drugs excessively.
If using bondage, ensure that the submissive can be released swiftly and easily if blood flow is being restricted. If using a padlock with keys, then keep the keys around your neck for easy and swift access/release should a problem arise. Do not rely on knots in ropes to unfasten easily - they often tighten whilst in use. The last thing anyone needs in an emergency is trying to remember where keys may have been left, or having to go somewhere to retrieve them, or any fumbling around. Immediate action may be required - and certainly not after a few minutes. Similarly with mouth gags and appliances, ensure release may be made quickly without any hindrance should choking or airway problems occur. With mouth gags fastening at the back of the neck, for instance it may be safer to have the setting loose enough to enable gag to be removed without having to loosen a buckle, for instance, through the use of an implement of some sort between the neck and the strap, which can be just lifted out of place, but which holds the strap tight in place when inserted inside the strap. In emergency situations, time is of the essence. Ensure any dom knows basic first aid procedures.
If new to flagelation, the sub will most probably have a low threshold for pain, but everyone is different in that respect. The threshold rises with experience - and it is important that your both dom and sub are aware of what that threshold may be. Staying within the threshold enables the BDSM relationship to start off on a good footing, whilst at the same time allowing the arousal to be enjoyed equally by both parties. When reaching the threshold, the experience may become both arousing and surreal as the sub experiences both real pain and enjoyment at the same time, often resulting in a feeling of spiritual indulgence after the event. Exceeding the sub's pain threshold should be avoided at least until the relationship has matured in my opinion - though others may have differing thoughts about this.
It is most important, and necessary for the enjoyment of flagellation that the sub does not tense the body or the muscles, as that will reduce any enjoyment, and cause more pain or injury than would be intended. It is often an automatic reaction, but the body should be relaxed for arousal to ensue. If this is indeed a problem, or the sub wishes to become even more relaxed, then a good sturdy winch attached to the roof or ceiling has it's benefits - use heavy boots with cuffs attached to fasten on the feet, and let the sub hang upside-down - this will make it easier for them to relax, and at the same time make the session more intense. Similarly - a sturdy sling may be useful for this purpose, or even a hammock - (preferably a string one, on which the sub may be restrained crossways on) - may be used for a swinging motion that is more restrained and easier to control than a roof suspension.
Anyone can become a Submissive, but the best Dominants are those who have experience (and knowledge of) both sides of the ropes. At least one partner - either one - should be sufficiently experienced to give guidance.
Never use an item or implement that may cause internal problems or bleeding, and never enter into a session without first arranging a sufficient and suitable "stop" procedure.
Please do your own research where necessary.

Further basics information may be found in the following links:

Last edited by grimstock; 22-01-2019 at 08:43 AM.
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