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extract from book "What the Animals Taught me - a journal of self-discovery

steven geldenhuys

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At the end of the implanted dream I saw this man in a white laboratory coat with a clipboard taking down notes about me.

It was not so much an implanted dream, rather my etheric form was taken and placed in a classroom setting. It felt strange where I was, as a college student would feel being placed in a kindergarden and be asked to take their exams.

My etheric form was doing its best to do well in the exam where I had to write a short story about some or other character. Then I buffed the story up, and my front page has scribbling on, so I tore a page out of my writing book to paste and glue over the scribble. A fluster began to brew in me as my 50 word manuscript was not panning out as it should, and teacher was asking to add descriptions in the story which I had not.


Then I said to myself, as I sat in my row  in the classroom taking this test, that this is not necessary, as it is all nonsense. I do not have to write a test and more importantly – pass the test, so that I may move on. This is all nonsense – the test; me; the classroom; and what they asked of me.

We are all a frequency – a manufactured holographic frequency who is unaware of the strand of God within us. For the system of Hell to stay alive we, the frequency need to be linked to the frequency of Hell. This union is necessary, as our reaction to Hell is the energy release that Hell needs to stay alive. This is why we were manufactured: to engage and react to what is around us. If we are too slow to take the bait then those from the shadows – those we don’t know exist, are there to give us a little nudge; a push in the wrong direction. That is why our actions and what we say are insane – they come from insane beings that play us like a puppet on a string from the shadows.


When we stand on our stepping stone and feel the mist from the fields of the Infinite touch our forms, what happens is that we begin to detach from the System, as we begin to understand that everything is one big lie. Life as we know it is a lie – it should not exist.

This Steven wants nothing to do with this entity called Life – it disgusts me. I want nothing from it, and I refuse to participate in this cruel, sick joke. The disaster with this attitude is that one does not truly live, and this I understand, as I understand that in truth one does not live – one survives. What I mean is that despite everything, I want to be happy, content and at peace with myself. How can you be happy when you do not want to engage and embrace Life, as to sit in a room alone is not much of an adventure?


With the mist of the Infinite touching us, we become detached from the System, so now we live rather than survive, and most importantly, we live according to our rules and not that of the System. These fools that created us can now no longer put us in a cage in their laboratory and play with us and our loved ones. Now we no longer just live, we glow with the strand within us shining in its full might. This process has begun in all those who stand on their stepping stone and observe the Infinite and feel its mist. When you heal; when you want to transform, you allow the patient to stand on their stepping stone and observe and experience this phenomena of wonder. This God-force touches you and it never lets go – you become stronger with each passing moment. 8/20/2020.


(Extract from journal: What the Animals Taught me – a journal of self-discovery.

Spent last six and a half years seeing in my sleep state those from the shadows that rule over us.)


steven geldenhuys

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When you were one, but now you are two, the ones who created the two always keeps the higher ground when the two breaks away from the one. In simple English, when Haman and his crew created us, they knew of the ways of the Infinite, and kept these ways from us so that they may always have the higher ground; the advantage over us. That way they have certainty that when things go tits up they will be okay, but most importantly, their higher ground guarantees their advantage/control over us.

So what is their higher ground; what gives them the advantage over us? I would like to understand this now so that I may use their advantage as a stepping stone towards the Infinite. In all the time that I have written this journal, I have not progressed one ounce, and I would like to understand why.


Their advantage is that they kept their close connection to the Infinite. They see the Infinite as a swirling, beautiful mass – but this mass/state is a “distance” from them in that they choose to be separate from it. They understand that to maintain their position in the hierarchy – where the System does not suck them in and make them another statistic/slave of Hell, they need the Infinite as a distant beacon to remind them of where they are in relation to the Game.

This makes me understand the warped state of those who orchestrated this place called Hell. The Game is just that – a Game. Why is it played? It is played for the same reason as to why we all play games – for the pleasure thereof. To understand the agenda of these orchestrators of Hell one has to be insane – which I am not, hence I have no inclination to understand them and their insanity. But what I do well do is take their advantage over Hell and make it my own by knowing it exists. Why do I do this? I do this not to take over the Game from these Beasts, but rather to be within the presence of Infinite Love, and this is true for all who wish to attain this higher ground – this stepping stone is to attain the Infinite, and it is used for no other purpose, otherwise your stone is no more. So be it.


Unlike these Beasts, I wish to play within the fields of Love, so from my stepping stone that is in close proximity to the Infinite, I open myself up to be embraced by the Infinite. So be it. 17/08/2020.


For the child within, and many within the frequency of Hell, this is not a nice place to live in. We exist, we survive – we do not live, as there is not something bigger than us who loves us more than anything who is watching our backs, hence the sickness and insanity of a species lying stagnant within a disturbed frequency permeates our existence. The pleasures we are offered, be they a rusk to dunk in your coffee, or a flight on your jet to your private island to indulge in your joy of molesting children, is something the System throws our way to pacify us, but wow, how easily we accept our lot and what we are – a herd mind where cruelty and self-centeredness is the norm.

I choose to give up these pleasures of the flesh, in that I see them, and I understand there is more to Life than them. I choose to rise above this mess and depart it. Who will watch my back? – The Infinite will. 18/08/2020.


I believe that it is from this viewpoint of the Infinite that one may transform oneself within the frequency of Hell. Once you are in the fields of the Infinite – where you belong, there is no need to be elsewhere, as this is where you choose to be, and rightly, where you the strand of God belong. From your viewpoint of the Infinite, you could say that you have one foot within the Infinite and one foot within Hell. By “you,” we imply the child within and the etheric/auric field.


I am at the point where I no longer write about what I see in my sleep state. I have had enough of this mess. 19/08/2020.


steven geldenhuys

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Went to sleep last night with an aching elbow and painful shoulder. If I lie on my left side its bone touching bone without any cartilage between, so I have to sleep either lying on my back or on my right side.

Slept on my right side, facing my wife, and I woke up to see this large Billy-goat humping my wife. This goat was lying on top of her and fucking her. As I watched this, I saw this paw at my face level, motioning me to turn around and see what was happening to me. Another Billy-goat was striding and humping me, and to rub in the humiliation, it wanted me to turn around and witness how I was raped – just as my wife was.


So where is our power oh great Human species? What is our role here – besides to chase the pleasures of Life? Work hard to play hard. Ooh hah! Look how great and powerful we are!


I fell asleep again, and a short dream was implanted. It was a silly dream of someone being unfair to my youngest daughter, but the dream was enough to harness enough energy for those who implanted it. I woke up again, and I saw a straw through a cup lid that was being inserted into my wife’s head. The ones who implanted the dream within me had also implanted a dream within her, and were sucking the energy up through the straw. Wow.

As the cup lid went into the illusionary form of my wife’s head, I saw something depart from her head. In other words, as the cup lid entered her head, something was pushed out of the head to make way for the cup lid. What I saw move out the way was an adult formed foetus of sorts, and what came to mind was what Louise Hay said in her book “You can heal your life” by loving the child within. What I saw for a second around my wife was her child within – this is the manufactured part of us; the core of what was produced from the laboratory. This is what we have all forgotten – this child within that is abused by the powers from the shadows. The outside shell of this child is the body and etheric forms, which are lifetimes of accumulated genetic data that make us what we are – good or bad or indifferent.


This is the greatest disaster that our survival mode inflicted on Life within Hell: We forgot about the child within.

We looked without rather than within. What we accumulated; what we had, defined who we were, and this made us happy or sad. And while we had our nose to the grindstone, ploughing away at Life in order to survive, the child within – the core part of what we were manufactured to be – was being destroyed by foul Beasts.

If Steven is raped, then it is done by another Human who is possessed by an awful demon, who is drawing from my energy via the person who is raping me. What comes at night to feed from our energy is Beasts that feed from us directly – no Human involvement is needed. But the greatest tragedy befalls the child within, as this child has been completely forgotten, and in this abandoned state, they are abused by whoever they please, and are helpless to these attacks, as they have been forgotten so there is no one to care for them.


Why were we manufactured within the genetic laboratories of Haman? To be forgotten and abused. How sad is that!

To understand is to know, and to know is to get up and do something to change what was, so that our understanding may transform ourselves and all Life. What I understand is that this Steven does not exist. The child within me exists, and it is to this child that I say: “Rise up, and allow the strand of God within you to shine. Your strand is within your heart energy field, at the centre of your chest. I love you, and my Love for you awakens your strand so that it may glow. Now you are not a child of Haman – you are a child of the Wisdom Goddess Sophia, as this strand of Love is from her. Shine my friend, because you can.”


The strand of God was not hidden at our nose and toe area. It was initially at the heart area, but we the body and etheric form pushed it out the way as we got down to business of surviving. We stopped listening to our good hearts; we forgot the child within. Haman knew this would happen – he counted on it happening, and boy oh boy, didn’t his orchestrated plan work beautifully.

Your Game has been exposed you Beast. No more do you prey on the innocent; the child within.


My guess is that Haman is an off-shoot of Nimrod/ the god of the Waters/ the Fallen angel. It is one who is devoid of sympathy who is capable of such cruelty. Nimrod “fell” by turning his back on the fields of the Infinite in order to experience the void of nothingness, where everything is possible. But to allow this System to run on its own, without any effort from his part, he needed to create Life.


And so the child was born.

13th August, 2020.

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And now we give our two cents to explain our relationship with the System of Life.

We are born into a world/frequency and are given one fundamental unspoken and unwritten “truth,” and that is: “The System loves us.” It loves us because it provides. It gives us the tools and means to survive. We eat of its fruits; eat from the flesh of the beasts that have been offered to us; have the arms and legs to build dwellings; and have the intelligence to problem solve should any obstacles to our survival come our way. These gifts create the second unspoken “truth,” and that is: “Be thankful.” This second “truth” is the beaut that keeps us locked into the System of Life, because as the System loves us, it is a given that we must love the System back. When we don’t; when we question this awful place, a helplessness unfolds within us, as surely the fault must be with us. We have failed to be happy – we have not done our part within this System. Life gives, and what do we do – we become dummies that throw away the opportunities that Life offers us. So we get on with Life as best we can, but now the relationship is broken, as we do not love Life as much as Life loves us. (We know that something is wrong with Life, but we don’t know what, and we dare not question, as this means we are being even more ungrateful.) This holds us in a twisted/confused state, as how can we be so cruel to not love something that loves us?

Many of us are stoic – we hold onto our beliefs and faith. We believe that Life is Good, and as long as we do what we have always done, we will be okay. Yes, we face troubled times, but this is Life testing us – making us stronger, especially in our belief that Life is Good.

Those of us that are not as strong as the believers develop a crack within our psyche. We understand that we have not been good to embrace and love Life for what it has given, and our crack develops into a vice. We look to the highs of Life to pick us up so that we may continue to function. But after every high we feel a guilt, as we took from the System of Life that loves us, but we don’t share this same sentiment.


What if we understood this “truth” that the System loves us is one big lie? What if we understood that we have been conned by a cruel Beast called Life that does not love us or provide for us?

What happens is that we roll up our sleeves and create our own system. This system is based on respect for yourself and others, as well as compassion for Life – including your own. Is this not what makes us Human? We say thanks to the System of Life, but “no thanks.” We choose our own way, one where there is once again recognition and interaction between all, creating a bond that is bound by mutual respect and an understanding that if you are okay then I am okay.


Do we disregard the System of Life; do we turn our back on this Beast that is one big lie? Well this would be disrespectful, wouldn’t it, and this is not who we are. We play with the System and make it our own, where we interact with the System according to our rules – which is respect for ourselves and others. If you respect me, as you respect yourself, and I do the same to you, is that not a foundation worthwhile building, as from there we may bask in this understanding that I am looking after you, and you are looking after me. This is the unspoken and unwritten way – that we care about each other.


As the world begins to fall apart in more ways than one, maybe we should consider bailing ship and begin this new way of Life. When we begin this new Life depends on you and nobody else.


(Extract from book: What the Animals Taught Me – a journey of self-discovery)


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As my body lay in bed sleeping, my etheric  body flew over this world during its early times. I flew over dwellings scattered throughout this world, and each one had one thing in common – they all had a fence around them. This “fence” was a circle of water around the encampment.

I saw a horse that had just been killed. It was straddled over the legs of a man as he sat on the ground. The horse was about fifty centimetres high – these were the times before it evolved to be a means of transport.


Many years back we wrote in the journal about the initial king of the Jungle – the python. I have never been afraid of what I saw in my sleep state, but witnessing this beast in its predatory mode before it killed was something that “made me sit upright and pay attention.” Man oh man was this snake with its hunchback torso a scary sight to behold. No doubt this original python also evolved, as I remember going to a place in my sleep state where I was at the waters edge of this turbulent sea. From the sea arose this long serpent – a real mother-fucker of note. It came from the waters to hunt on land.


No doubt this monster preyed on early Man as well, hence the ring of water around their dwellings. The question one needs to ask is what was in this water that kept this beast as bay? A large majority of the Human body; up to 60% is made up of water, so it is fair to say that the frequency of Nimrod; the god of the Waters, is within us. This king of Hell made his home within the waters, so no doubt his frequency is within us.

What did early Man know? What did he put in the waters around his dwelling to keep this beast at bay? I go into the frequency of this water-fence to understand what it is, and all I feel is this powerful stability within my heart energy field. One could call this water-fence a stop sign to all those who are not allowed to pass.

As the parasitic frequency of Deception grew within all of us, we begin to fight within – within our good hearts of understanding, and within the space with those we loved. We destroyed ourselves and those around us, which opened the water barrier for the Serpent to infiltrate our forms. Now we were no longer safe, and it is fair to assume that we have lived in fear ever since.


To those that wish it so, allow this water-fence to be within and without you, by knowing it existed and can once again exist should we wish it to. Call forth its frequency and it will come to you. This time learn from your faults. Be kind.


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What came last night in my sleep state to feed from my energy was someone/something that had just crossed over into the existence of feeding from a limitless food source. Just as we feed within the worlds of Hell, so too do those from the shadows feed from those who feed from the worlds of Hell. The difference between us, the feeders, and them the feeders, is twofold: their food supply is limitless and for free, and ours is not; and secondly, they don’t have a conscious, whereas we should.


The one that implanted the dream and devoured from my energy last night shone an enthusiasm for this utopia where anything goes – this fool was in a paradise where you eat this wonderful energy for free; you fuck these unknowing manufactured slaves when you want; and you kill and destroy who you want, and they can’t fight back because they don’t know you exist. These fools are in a paradise; the paradise the children were led to in the story of Pinocchio, before they found out they were had and turned into donkeys – or should we say: “Before they fell into the Nothingness of the Forgotten, where they became lost forever.”


I have met the god of Hell – Queen Semiramis. She was once Love, just as all were. The Dragon and Serpent spirits were once her guest within the beautiful illusionary Garden. The parasite within took her over, as it did with all within the Garden, and Semiramis became cruel as the Dragons went into slumber and the Serpents became insane.

I have seen what the Gnostics call The Wisdom Goddess Sophia. What I saw was a being more dead than alive – the dense frequency of Hell has all but destroyed her. This journal is my gift to her – to set this beautiful being free by allowing her to remember what happened to her and her loved ones. By knowing, she may understand, and by understanding she may transform.

The species within all the worlds/frequencies of Hell do not have a God. We were manufactured to keep the illusion alive. I have been to these “laboratories” where life-forms are manufactured. They have shown me how easy and effortlessly we are construed.

I have seen and so often felt the Serpent within all of us, that uses us as a host to live out its existence within the false/illusionary realms of Hell. In Hell this Serpent is the unknowing true god within, but what the animals have taught  me is that the strand of God within is the only thing that is real within the illusion. This strand we have forgotten, so we got on the back seat of the car while the Serpent within drove us around and played with us. This Serpent within has a love for us, but it is a twisted love – it is a “break you down to build you up,” and it is a” know your place” kind of love, where you exist for them and the illusion.


So when I speak of a God, it is one that I have chosen through the understanding of what this journal has taught me. It is an entity/state of Love whom I choose to become affiliated to.

I know my place within this manufactured illusion, and I refuse to carry on being a part of this cruel dimension. My energy is now expelled to be a representative of a kind God of Love that respects all, including themselves. I latch onto the winning team, one that goes forwards to embrace the Infinite. This Hell is likened to one grain of sand within all the beaches of the world. The rest of the sand is the Infinite. That is how small and irrelevant this illusion is that is run by cruel Beasts.


So what is the way out of this mess, because whether you are within the worlds of Hell or dwell within the shadows, the bottom line is that you have to eat. If I stop eating today my body will become weakened; it needs food to sustain itself. So what is the answer for us and for these Beasts from the shadows? For me, the answer is a sequence of events, which are as follows:

1.      Know the mess we are in and how we got there. If you want to see the sunshine, see the mud you are standing in so that you may get out of the mess to enjoy the sunshine more.

2.      Be thankful for what you receive. Allow this thanks to humble you, as without what you have received you would not exist. Never take anything for granted.

3.      Have respect for yourself and for others. Always keep yourself open to be in a position to help, should others need your help. This help can only be given when you respect yourself and others, as by being kind to yourself you have the capacity to be kind to others.

4.      Know that heartache and sorrow does not exist within the realms of Love. If you choose to unconditionally love a God that is bigger than you, then understand that this Love works both ways, where your God is always watching your back and wanting the best for you. If we cannot see over the hill as to what tomorrow brings, our God can, and this removes the Darkness of uncertainty from our existence.

5.      Be happy. Your God of Love does not like miserable faces and hearts. Open yourself to be happy, and your God will fill you with happiness, as this is what you opened yourself to receive.


6.      Always be bigger than what you are. You are in a relationship with a God of Love, and this relationship has no boundaries. Open yourself to the wonders of the Infinite rather than the limitations of a frequency/world. See yourself as a child of the Infinite rather than a limited cog within a cycle of Life that is going nowhere slowly.

7.      Life is a gift, and so are you. Shine forth so that all may see the star that you are.

8.      We are all just passing through, so enjoy the time spent here – there really isn’t time for anything else, so leave the nasty, the cruel and the unkind to their own devices. They are happy being what they are, and your input within their existence is not wanted or appreciated. Leave them be, and take the innocent with you, and these cruel Beasts will never bother you again.

9.      Open yourself up to return to the Whole, where we are one with everything, rather than an individual part. We are a piece of the puzzle, which ultimately completes the puzzle.

10.   Know yourself. Within you is a strand of God, and it is beautiful. You are not lesser or greater than this strand, so just be what you are. Be the God within that you are. You cannot embrace your God, and your God cannot embrace you unless you know what you are.


I have been shown why Life is cruel, and I am thankful for this understanding.

Now I would like to be shown how Life is kind – where the strand of God within others and myself shines for all to see. This doorway has been opened, and through this door I now walk.

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