Dating website question for men

[Captain Falcon]

14 hours ago, Moonlight said:

if this sould work as a dating site too...it would be good if the guys would show themselves
 

so - everyone is welcome to post a pic

 

 

 

Never. 10 years ago maybe, but not now, no chance. 

[BlueSky]

@Captain Falcon

 

The Invitation

By Oriah Mountain Dreamer more Oriah Mountain Dreamer

It doesn't interest me
what you do for a living.
I want to know
what you ache for
and if you dare to dream
of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me
how old you are.
I want to know
if you will risk
looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me
what planets are
squaring your moon...
I want to know
if you have touched
the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened
by life's betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know
if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know
if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you
to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations
of being human.

It doesn't interest me
if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear
the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know
if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
"Yes."

It doesn't interest me
to know where you live
or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me
who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me
where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know
what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know
if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like
the company you keep
in the empty moments.

Source: https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/the-invitation-by-oriah-mountain-dreamer

[Mr H]

23 minutes ago, Captain Falcon said:

 

A few weeks ago I came to the conclusion that porn is wrong. I thought it, and more importantly I felt it. So I'm kind of wrestling with it now, I feel it's wrong, but it's the only time I get to see a naked woman!

 

Maybe you could conduct an experiment?

 

Go and speak to some women now and note the results.

 

Give up porn for 6 months. Then go and speak to some women and note if there is a different result.

 

Nothing to lose and you can always go back after that time. No big deal....porn ain't going anywhere

Edited September 16, 2020 by Mr H

[Captain Falcon]

15 minutes ago, Mr H said:

 

Maybe you could conduct an experiment?

 

Go and speak to some women now and note the results.

 

Give up porn for 6 months. Then go and speak to some women and note if there is a different result.

 

Nothing to lose and you can always go back after that time. No big deal....porn ain't going anywhere

 

Nah, I'm in my 40's now, and I look like hammered shit. I think I've been to too many funerals these past few years and it's all taken it's toll a bit on my health. 

 

I've had a couple of girlfriends back in the mists of time so at least I'm not a virgin. 

 

If I go more than a week or two without a five knuckle shuffle the wet dreams start, and waking up with sticky sheets at 4 am pisses me off!

 

I won't be speaking to women at least not for a while. My confidence is in the toilet anyway. I know the solution to my problems lies with me, and only by my effort alone can I solve them.

[Mr H]

13 minutes ago, Captain Falcon said:

 

Nah, I'm in my 40's now, and I look like hammered shit. I think I've been to too many funerals these past few years and it's all taken it's toll a bit on my health. 

 

I've had a couple of girlfriends back in the mists of time so at least I'm not a virgin. 

 

If I go more than a week or two without a five knuckle shuffle the wet dreams start, and waking up with sticky sheets at 4 am pisses me off!

 

I won't be speaking to women at least not for a while. My confidence is in the toilet anyway. I know the solution to my problems lies with me, and only by my effort alone can I solve them.

 

That's fair enough.

 

I did used to watch porn a fair bit, especially when my self-esteem was shot to bits.

 

The moment I realised how evil the industry was, was when I was whacking myself off to a scene. Then after I read the comments below. "stupid b*tc* now complaining about porn industry" and they gave a link - (can't remember the name of the actress now).

 

so I watched the youtube clip. And the young women spoke about how at the start it was all very innocent. But after a short while, they started to blackmail her into doing stuff without pay. One of the scenes she mentioned was the scene I had just whacked off too. And it disgusted me to the core to hear how she suffered during that scene - and also the effect the whole experience had had on her life.

 

I used to think that sort of stuff might happen in the more darker areas of porn, but this was mainstream video house porn studios.

 

 

[Captain Falcon]

1 hour ago, BlueSky said:

It doesn't interest me
what you do for a living.

 

I don't do anything for a living. I have no income. I'm basically at the will work for food stage!

 

1 hour ago, BlueSky said:

It doesn't interest me
what planets are
squaring your moon...
I want to know
if you have touched
the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened
by life's betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

 

Shrivelled and closed I think, but not too shrivelled and not too closed. I still love life even though it sometimes resembles hell.

 

1 hour ago, BlueSky said:

I want to know
if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

 

I'm a cryer. Which is a brutal affliction for a man. I cry at sad films, happy films, because someone else is crying, it's horrific! I'll never cry in front of a woman again especially not one I'm attracted to.

 

1 hour ago, BlueSky said:

I want to know
if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you
to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations
of being human.

 

I can be quite cautious and guarded, I could do with letting myself go more, let what's left of my hair down.

 

1 hour ago, BlueSky said:

It doesn't interest me
if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear
the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

 

I don't really know what this bit means.

 

1 hour ago, BlueSky said:

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

 

I'm always looking around on my walks. I like to see animals and birds and things, I saw a Fox a few months ago in the early hours, twilight, he/she stood across the road looking at me, we both stood still and I said something daft like "Hello Fox" or something. It was a great moment and one I'll always treasure.

 

1 hour ago, BlueSky said:

I want to know
if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
"Yes."

 

Yes. But I think I am a failure in a way, because I don't seem to be living the life I would like to, and I'm poor.

 

1 hour ago, BlueSky said:

It doesn't interest me
to know where you live
or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

 

Money. It always comes down to money! Nah, I have no children so...

 

1 hour ago, BlueSky said:

It doesn't interest me
who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

 

We'll see what happens. I hope when the time comes I'll have the balls to face it all like a man, and at least go down swinging if it comes to that.

 

1 hour ago, BlueSky said:

I want to know
if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like
the company you keep
in the empty moments.

 

There are very few empty moments, I like my own company and always find something to do and things to appreciate.

Edited September 16, 2020 by Captain Falcon

[rideforever]

What the fk does Tantric Partner mean on dating websites.
When a woman says that does she mean 'feminist' or ????
Maybe it means sex that lasts more than 53 seconds ?

Edited September 16, 2020 by rideforever

[Jack]

2 minutes ago, rideforever said:

What the fk does Tantric Partner mean on dating websites.  When a woman says that does she mean 'feminist' or ????

its a bit like spiritual sex, massage etc

[Captain Falcon]

5 minutes ago, rideforever said:

What the fk does Tantric Partner mean on dating websites.  When a woman says that does she mean 'feminist' or ????

 

I think it's Tantric sex, some hippy bullshit, Sting seems to be an expert.

[Captain Falcon]

Just now, Jack said:

its a bit like spiritual sex, massage etc

 

Or that yeah. 

[rideforever]

Anyway problem with feminist women ... it's not that they want to actualize themselves fully, I think that's good everyone should ... but it's that they are full of the internet and full of the words of miserable egotistical women ... so that you are really in a relationship with all the miserable internet women they listened to because they aren't listening to themselves.

 

I heard last week that some young guys at a university somewhere were having a competition to screw the unintelligent girls in the society ... or something.  Anyway, besides the normal reactions you can have to that ... one I had was that the middle class smart girls can be very much full of lots of stupid modern ideas and it's really stressful - she might be nice but you have to deal with a head that is not her own.  Whereas simpler girls might be more normal, and just feel nicer as their heads aren't filled with modern bullshit.  Sad really, but I see that sometimes.   Simpler girls actually feel themselves, and feel you, and it feels good ... otherwise there is always the internet in bed with you - who are you having sex with exactly ?

 

Edited September 16, 2020 by rideforever

[Jack]

I think you need to start loving yourself

[Moonlight]

I see that some people have more time to be here....what are you doing for a living?

 

I´m a Graphic Designer
 

[Captain Falcon]

3 minutes ago, Moonlight said:

what are you doing for a living?

 

Translation; how much money do you make? 

 

That's the exact point dating ends for me, and it's one of if not the first questions.

 

Only the bad boys, the ex convicts, the criminals get away with not having a good job.

 

I saw a woman a couple of years ago that I hadn't seen for a few years, the first thing she said to me was not "how are you"? I haven't seen you for a long time" etc. it was "are you working"?

I gave her a flat, cold, slightly angry "NO". And that was the end of that. I caught her glancing my way a couple of times during that night, but I looked away and drank a couple more beers and then went home.

 

Like I said, I'm undateable. 

[Moonlight]

4 minutes ago, Captain Falcon said:

 

Translation; how much money do you make? 

 

That's the exact point dating ends for me, and it's one of if not the first questions.

 

Only the bad boys, the ex convicts, the criminals get away with not having a good job.

 

I saw a woman a couple of years ago that I hadn't seen for a few years, the first thing she said to me was not "how are you"? I haven't seen you for a long time" etc. it was "are you working"?

I gave her a flat, cold, slightly angry "NO". And that was the end of that. I caught her glancing my way a couple of times during that night, but I looked away and drank a couple more beers and then went home.

 

Like I said, I'm undateable. 

not that not what I meant...I think some here are without a job
I constantly date the wrong guys....many have no jobs...some do not even have a home...

[Captain Falcon]

Just now, Moonlight said:

not that not what I meant...I think some here are without a job
I constantly date the wrong guys....many have no jobs...some do not even have a home...

 

There will probably be millions without jobs soon if the evil ones succeed. 

 

So you constantly date many guys? So do you take them out on dates and pay? That's an interesting dynamic...  Guys without jobs are wrong? 

 

The final nail in dating's coffin.

[Moonlight]

8 minutes ago, Captain Falcon said:

 

There will probably be millions without jobs soon if the evil ones succeed. 

 

So you constantly date many guys? So do you take them out on dates and pay? That's an interesting dynamic...  Guys without jobs are wrong? 

 

The final nail in dating's coffin.

 

yes I do date and normally I do not pay .....but it happend that I did pay in the past because the guy was without ANY money
no - guys without a job are not wrong of course...I do not mind which job a guy has

what he really needs is a good sense of humour...thats totally important

 

 

Edited September 16, 2020 by Moonlight

[Truthspoon]

5 minutes ago, Moonlight said:

 

yes I do date and normally I do not pay .....but it happend that I did pay in the past because the guy was without ANY money
no - guys without a job are not wrong of course...I do not mind which job a guy has

what he really needs is a good sense of humour...thats totally important

 

 

 

That's sweet. 

 

When I was a young I had no money, nor did my girlfriend.... but when we had money we would help each other out and treat each other. 

 

It was romantic... 

 

But then when I got money I dated a big black momma who was pretty interesting, she was a Shaman from Botswana, but she never paid for anything... all the money she made she spent on buying second hand cars from England and sending them to Botswana, that was her side business. I kicked that to the curb when I realised that she was just a black hole for my cash. Noone wants to feel they're getting taken for a ride..... one way or another....although what a good ride....hahaha.

 

 

 

 

Edited September 16, 2020 by Truthspoon

[Moonlight]

10 minutes ago, Truthspoon said:

 

That's sweet. 

 

When I was a young I had no money, nor did my girlfriend.... but when we had money we would help each other out and treat each other. 

 

It was romantic... 

 

But then when I got money I dated a big black momma who was pretty interesting, she was a Shaman from Botswana, but she never paid for anything... all the money she made she spent on buying second hand cars from England and sending them to Botswana, that was her side business. I kicked that to the curb when I realised that she was just a black hole for my cash. Noone wants to feel they're getting taken for a ride..... one way or another....although what a good ride....hahaha.

 

 

 

 

 

black folks constantly without money
this feeling when you stand in the rain infront of a cebab stand for 5 Euro

Luxury is something different

 

so Im basically not here for an adventure because this I have outside between dating and than blocking them on the phone cause they turn out to be crazy....
Im here cause I maybe have a soulmate here....who knows...

Edited September 16, 2020 by Moonlight

[Truthspoon]

I will say that if you can be with someone, and love them and be loved, and manage with little money... then it's real love.....

 

But that only happens when you're young.......ahhhh good old days.

 

These days...... everything is too serious and the girls my age have forgotten how to smile.

I stay alone.......I think the world breaks people down and teaches them to worry more about money and security than being in love. Anyway, I've got novels to write. I always meant to write them when I was younger but I was always in love..... now I'm not in love I've got to make up for lost time.

 

 

Edited September 16, 2020 by Truthspoon

[Moonlight]

nobody should stay alone forver....I like to be alone too but humans are social beings and should live together

[Captain Falcon]

28 minutes ago, Moonlight said:

what he really needs is a good sense of humour...thats totally important

 

 

This is another thing that gets on my tits, you've got to make a woman laugh. What does it even mean? Do you crack jokes? "A man walks into a bar". Do you need to work on material like a stand up comedian? 

 

Women laugh when I pull my pants down, does that count?  (only joking, they never laughed which was nice of them).

 

 

[Jack]

47 minutes ago, Captain Falcon said:

 

This is another thing that gets on my tits, you've got to make a woman laugh. What does it even mean? Do you crack jokes? "A man walks into a bar". Do you need to work on material like a stand up comedian? 

 

Women laugh when I pull my pants down, does that count?  (only joking, they never laughed which was nice of them).

 

 

not too sure if you're trying to beat yoourself up or trying to be funny.

 

However there is deadpan humour which can be really funny.

 

A lot of people would laugh if you said women laugh when you pull your pants down in the right context

 

 

[Captain Falcon]

2 minutes ago, Jack said:

not too sure if you're trying to beat yoourself up or trying to be funny.

 

However there is deadpan humour which can be really funny.

 

A lot of people would laugh if you said women laugh when you pull your pants down in the right context

 

 

 

Maybe I was doing both at the same time.

 

Things don't always come across as intended on internet forums anyway. 

[BlueSky]

5 hours ago, Captain Falcon said:

 

I don't do anything for a living. I have no income. I'm basically at the will work for food stage!

 

 

Shrivelled and closed I think, but not too shrivelled and not too closed. I still love life even though it sometimes resembles hell.

 

 

I'm a cryer. Which is a brutal affliction for a man. I cry at sad films, happy films, because someone else is crying, it's horrific! I'll never cry in front of a woman again especially not one I'm attracted to.

 

 

I can be quite cautious and guarded, I could do with letting myself go more, let what's left of my hair down.

 

 

I don't really know what this bit means.

 

 

I'm always looking around on my walks. I like to see animals and birds and things, I saw a Fox a few months ago in the early hours, twilight, he/she stood across the road looking at me, we both stood still and I said something daft like "Hello Fox" or something. It was a great moment and one I'll always treasure.

 

 

Yes. But I think I am a failure in a way, because I don't seem to be living the life I would like to, and I'm poor.

 

 

Money. It always comes down to money! Nah, I have no children so...

 

 

We'll see what happens. I hope when the time comes I'll have the balls to face it all like a man, and at least go down swinging if it comes to that.

 

 

There are very few empty moments, I like my own company and always find something to do and things to appreciate.

"

6 hours ago, BlueSky said:

It doesn't interest me
if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear
the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I don't fulling get the first part either. Because surely most people would want the truth, but maybe not if it hurts. I took the other bit to mean, that standing by ones principles no matter what. Staying true to oneself. The last two lines, I'm going to have to give some more thought to.