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Life did not offer me more than false destiny


Haunted Universe
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Greetings,

 

Disillusioned, jaded, misanthropic pariah of society here. My main interest's lay in The New Zealand Christchurch shooting, 9/11, the paranormal, mind control, psychological operations, absinthe and opiates. I am a failed musician and creative writer in my own time. Life has become a perpetual sequence of predictable and benign events. 

 

"I don't like the clean-shaven boy with the necktie and the good job. I like desperate men, men with broken teeth and broken minds and broken ways. They interest me. They are full of surprises and explosions"-Charles Bukowski

 

 

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Welcome!

 

Many great artists have died broke but still left a great body of work behind. It's nice to make a comfy living from our work, but I'm just happy to have the basics in life. I don't want for much. I just want to make art that inspires people. The main thing I have been struggling with is motivation recently. There was a time when I pretty much always had Photoshop, Illustrator or Blender open, but now I'm lucky if I can find the motivation to open them more than a couple of times a week. I'm just doing the minimum that I need to survive at the moment.

 

“Artists have the responsibility to serve humanity and give people hope” - Dalai Lama

 

 

 

 

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Broken and desperate men do not interest me, the world is full of them drinking their sorrows and playing their emotions like violins.

What interests me is broken and desperate men who have climbed the mountain.

Whatever misery they had inside them they used it to ascend inch by painful inch.

The reward was fresh air and distant horizons.

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7 minutes ago, rideforever said:

Broken and desperate men do not interest me, the world is full of them drinking their sorrows and playing their emotions like violins.

What interests me is broken and desperate men who have climbed the mountain.

Whatever misery they had inside them they used it to ascend inch by painful inch.

The reward was fresh air and distant horizons.

I like that ride, (out of flippin forum likes for now) but... like.

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1 hour ago, EnigmaticWorld said:

Welcome!

 

Many great artists have died broke but still left a great body of work behind. It's nice to make a comfy living from our work, but I'm just happy to have the basics in life. I don't want for much. I just want to make art that inspires people. The main thing I have been struggling with is motivation recently. There was a time when I pretty much always had Photoshop, Illustrator or Blender open, but now I'm lucky if I can find the motivation to open them more than a couple of times a week. I'm just doing the minimum that I need to survive at the moment.

 

“Artists have the responsibility to serve humanity and give people hope” - Dalai Lama

 


Good to see you back again enigmatic, I - I think maybe like you, need a break from the forum every now and again, to re-group myself.

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2 hours ago, EnigmaticWorld said:

“Artists have the responsibility to serve humanity and give people hope” - Dalai Lama


I'm also an artist, (not as my main source of income) But I have been mainly painting landscapes of my local area using mainly oil medium, sometimes acrylics as a first undercoat.
Since the bollocks started in March I  can barely be bothered,  I think I've let the negativity and reality of the situation drain any motivation I had - which wasn't much - to bother being creative.
I had a dream the other week (about 3-4 weeks ago)  What I remember from it was that I was just wondering about (in my dream) and came accross a kind of flea market, and I ended up staring at an empty picture frame, it had a card price tag hanging off it by a piece of string, and on the card was written: 
'Speak your truths'
That was it?  It's taken a while to fully realise, as I'm really not a soppy twat who goes in for the over-sentimental meaning of dreams - but this one felt so poignant, - really important, I am thinking now about how to translate that to my paintings. 
I think it was on the price tag because it was saying - fuck earning money from this lark - send a message via your paintings to humanity.
As per your Dalai Lama quote.
That's all.
But definately - good to see you back Enigmatic - I absolutely loved your Emmanuel Macron and Angel Merkel flirting gif.   Had me and others I showed it to, in fits of laughter. (but again - was out of likes) (I must remember to go back on and react to that one later)


 

Edited by sickofallthebollocks
add (income comment) & spelling
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16 hours ago, BlueSky said:

Welcome.

If you make music that is in no way a failure.

 

 

Thankyou, much appreciated. I'm in my mid 30s and had some real disappointments in my 20s music wise. (I'm a metal vocalist and drummer).  I think what I meant was that I am yet to make up for the absence of venue playing in my 20s and yearn to play venues again. Theres no feeling like playing live, even if its only to 5 people. I still make music though. 

 

Hope all is well with you during this messed up time.

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15 hours ago, EnigmaticWorld said:

Welcome!

 

Many great artists have died broke but still left a great body of work behind. It's nice to make a comfy living from our work, but I'm just happy to have the basics in life. I don't want for much. I just want to make art that inspires people. The main thing I have been struggling with is motivation recently. There was a time when I pretty much always had Photoshop, Illustrator or Blender open, but now I'm lucky if I can find the motivation to open them more than a couple of times a week. I'm just doing the minimum that I need to survive at the moment.

 

“Artists have the responsibility to serve humanity and give people hope” - Dalai Lama

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thankyou! Yes you are right. Howard Phillips Lovecraft died an extremely poor man (from my knowledge) and never got to see the fruits of his labour. I guess he never imagined years later he would be a huge influence on generations to come. I believe he was Stephen Kings main inspiration. 

 

Are you a motion graphics artist? I'm a budding film maker also, but have never made anything worth watching yet. I use Premiere Pro, Davinci Resolve and tried to have a go at After Effects but could never understand how to do motion graphics stuff and lost patience. My strengths are in story telling and directing. I'd love to work with a motion graphics artist. I find it incredible how other artists are able to make things with their hands, draw, sketch, paint and do CGI etc.   I have aspergers and have worked all my life up until 2019 in sole charge jobs until my mental health declined to the point of being unable to be around people. I now live on the basics and am very happy being able to, for the first time, focus on my passions. Like you, living on the basics is more than enough. Don't worry about your lack of motivation at the moment, I am going through the same thing. When it comes back, and it will (your motivation and creativity), you will be back to enjoying it even more. 

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14 hours ago, rideforever said:

Broken and desperate men do not interest me, the world is full of them drinking their sorrows and playing their emotions like violins.

What interests me is broken and desperate men who have climbed the mountain.

Whatever misery they had inside them they used it to ascend inch by painful inch.

The reward was fresh air and distant horizons.

 

I may have come across as sounding like a miserable curmudgeon, (which admittedly I am at times) but I never said I have given up on my passions.  The entertainment industry is like fort knox to break into, even as an independent. I love reading about Sly Stallones story where he was broke and writing his script for Rocky in a library. The guy who wrote the screenplay for Taxi Driver was homeless at the time.

 

 

 

 

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14 hours ago, sickofallthebollocks said:


I'm also an artist, (not as my main source of income) But I have been mainly painting landscapes of my local area using mainly oil medium, sometimes acrylics as a first undercoat.
Since the bollocks started in March I  can barely be bothered,  I think I've let the negativity and reality of the situation drain any motivation I had - which wasn't much - to bother being creative.
I had a dream the other week (about 3-4 weeks ago)  What I remember from it was that I was just wondering about (in my dream) and came accross a kind of flea market, and I ended up staring at an empty picture frame, it had a card price tag hanging off it by a piece of string, and on the card was written: 
'Speak your truths'
That was it?  It's taken a while to fully realise, as I'm really not a soppy twat who goes in for the over-sentimental meaning of dreams - but this one felt so poignant, - really important, I am thinking now about how to translate that to my paintings. 
I think it was on the price tag because it was saying - fuck earning money from this lark - send a message via your paintings to humanity.
As per your Dalai Lama quote.
That's all.
But definately - good to see you back Enigmatic - I absolutely loved your Emmanuel Macron and Angel Merkel flirting gif.   Had me and others I showed it to, in fits of laughter. (but again - was out of likes) (I must remember to go back on and react to that one later)


 

 

 

Hey there. Your mojo will come back. I find you can never force trying to create something. If you're not in the mood then its perfectly normal. I get it all the time.

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8 minutes ago, Haunted Universe said:

 

 

Thankyou! Yes you are right. Howard Phillips Lovecraft died an extremely poor man (from my knowledge) and never got to see the fruits of his labour. I guess he never imagined years later he would be a huge influence on generations to come. I believe he was Stephen Kings main inspiration. 

 

Are you a motion graphics artist? I'm a budding film maker also, but have never made anything worth watching yet. I use Premiere Pro, Davinci Resolve and tried to have a go at After Effects but could never understand how to do motion graphics stuff and lost patience. My strengths are in story telling and directing. I'd love to work with a motion graphics artist. I find it incredible how other artists are able to make things with their hands, draw, sketch, paint and do CGI etc.   I have aspergers and have worked all my life up until 2019 in sole charge jobs until my mental health declined to the point of being unable to be around people. I now live on the basics and am very happy being able to, for the first time, focus on my passions. Like you, living on the basics is more than enough. Don't worry about your lack of motivation at the moment, I am going through the same thing. When it comes back, and it will (your motivation and creativity), you will be back to enjoying it even more. 

 

I have dabbled in motion graphics, but I'm a graphic designer.

 

I have a similar story to you. When I left education as a youngster I worked in warehouses, but I did my back in. Fortunately I was always pretty creative so I started to study print design. I got into it in the Myspace days and used that platform to network with musicians and started getting gigs designing CD covers and flyers and I just grew from there. Most of my clients were rappers and DJs, but I'm not really into hip hop these days so now I just work with small local businesses. The last few years I have been focusing on 3D modeling and game development, but that is more a hobbyist thing. Graphic design is still my bread and butter.

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31 minutes ago, EnigmaticWorld said:

 

I have dabbled in motion graphics, but I'm a graphic designer.

 

I have a similar story to you. When I left education as a youngster I worked in warehouses, but I did my back in. Fortunately I was always pretty creative so I started to study print design. I got into it in the Myspace days and used that platform to network with musicians and started getting gigs designing CD covers and flyers and I just grew from there. Most of my clients were rappers and DJs, but I'm not really into hip hop these days so now I just work with small local businesses. The last few years I have been focusing on 3D modeling and game development, but that is more a hobbyist thing. Graphic design is still my bread and butter.

 

Sounds great. The only thing I'm good at art wise is making fake movie posters online and they are crap and ridiculous hahahaha.

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