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THE PUBS ARE OPEN AGAIN!


Smokestack Lightnin'

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We have two Wetherspoon pubs in my town here which re-opened recently as you probably all know. It was quite ironic that Tim Martin, the owner was sitting in front of me one Sunday afternoon  last January talking to the manager. I went to talk to him when the time was right  because I like his politics and the articles he writes in the seasonal magazine he puts out. (I loved the way he put down that nauseating little prick Owen Jones in a YT video and mentioned that.) I didn't want to piss him off so I thought I'd just ask him what his thoughts were on the looming cashless society, 5G and the police state about to be imposed. I made him laugh and got the 'selfie'. I asked him for a job as a professional speaker to travel the country informing all the staff of how society is changing because I listen to good people almost every day online etc so it would be just a case of making notes and shamelessly plagiarising  (all for a good cause). I wrote to him outlining my plan but no joy (he probably thought I was a couple of cards short of a full deck.) Then a few weeks later all the pubs were closed down. -  that'll teach you to listen to me Tim.       

 

The Wetherspoons pubs now look like something out of a Terry Gilliam send up science fiction movie with plastic screen divides all over the place and  repositioned tables. The guy serving the drinks does so only at the till where there is a plastic screen surrounding the two cash registers and everyone queues up now in single file leaving 90% of the bar area free. 

 

What is it with people that they can't comprehend that if a killer pathogen is lurking somewhere, no plastic screen is ever going to deter the beast! The best spectacle though is the huge song and dance people make about washing or sanitizing their hands now. One guy in the toilet washed his hands and dried them as normal with the hand drier, walked out and over to his drinking buddies making all these exagerrated hand washing movements for 15 more minutes even though his hands were completely dry. Other people are also walking in, squirting some lotion on to their hands and walking through the pub washing their hands, twisting and turning their arms in the air right up to their fucking elbows. 

STOP IT! It's really pissing me off the way you subjugated imbeciles think that all these big demonstrations of a banal everyday chore is notching up kudos from friends, strangers and bar staff. It's like watching little infants trying to impress their teacher. 

What really made my day yesterday was when a guy aged around 55 walked in with a T shirt on which read ...' SOCIAL DISTANCING''. Underneath in smaller writing it said 'IF YOU CAN READ THIS THEN YOU ARE PROBABLY TOO CLOSE'!  Christ, did I have a laugh at that! The idiot just smiled back.

Where on earth do these people come from?  If a Martian or any other alien being landed here, I would be too embarrassed to admit to being of the same species as humans.

'Please Mr Alien, just zap me with your ray gun'.               

Edited by Smokestack Lightnin'
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6 hours ago, Smokestack Lightnin' said:

 

 

I haven't been to the pub at all.

Some friends invited me & I just can't be bothered with all the nonsense.

I walked past the local 'spoons the other day, they keep the doors open at all times now.

I did feel like going in and saying to the manager, "keeping the doors open will let virus in you know!"

But then what is the bloody point.

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It does make me wonder if the AI hive-mind cloud is already here and a vast number of the population have already plugged into it. It's the only explanation that I can come up with for such irrational compliant behaviour. Resistance is futile!

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You would expect with the pubs being closed alcohol consumption ( and hence  demonic infestation) would be down ...

 

But a UK survey show consumption is up ....

 55.7% of respondents said they had increased the number of days they drink alcohol during the crisis and of that, 35.1% said they had increased the amount a little, and 20.6% said they had increased it a lot.

 

Drug and alcohol use is the best way to get demonic psychic attachments , only head banging is more effective. 

 

A temporary or partial loss of consciousness is required , then the spirits jump in ... head banging (to heavy metal rock) impacts the brain on the inside of the skull and achieves this , so does excessive drinking. 

Edited by oz93666
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22 hours ago, Smokestack Lightnin' said:

We have two Wetherspoon pubs in my town here which re-opened recently as you probably all know. It was quite ironic that Tim Martin, the owner was sitting in front of me one Sunday afternoon  last January talking to the manager. I went to talk to him when the time was right  because I like his politics and the articles he writes in the seasonal magazine he puts out. (I loved the way he put down that nauseating little prick Owen Jones in a YT video and mentioned that.) I didn't want to piss him off so I thought I'd just ask him what his thoughts were on the looming cashless society, 5G and the police state about to be imposed. I made him laugh and got the 'selfie'. I asked him for a job as a professional speaker to travel the country informing all the staff of how society is changing because I listen to good people almost every day online etc so it would be just a case of making notes and shamelessly plagiarising  (all for a good cause). I wrote to him outlining my plan but no joy (he probably thought I was a couple of cards short of a full deck.) Then a few weeks later all the pubs were closed down. -  that'll teach you to listen to me Tim.       

 

The Wetherspoons pubs now look like something out of a Terry Gilliam send up science fiction movie with plastic screen divides all over the place and  repositioned tables. The guy serving the drinks does so only at the till where there is a plastic screen surrounding the two cash registers and everyone queues up now in single file leaving 90% of the bar area free.

 

I hope you get the chance to meet Tim Martin again and say something on the lines of - "I told you so".  🙂

 

Your description is very apt, illustrating the surreal world of Terry Gilliam sci-fi is now in place in Wetherspoons pubs. The new abnormal.  However, it's not too bad, it only cost £11 million for Wetherspoons to make their pubs COVID-1984 secure. The economic depression will tip many businesses into bankruptcy and the waste of time and money COVID protection equipment and the reduction of staff productivity will help to fuel business faliures.   

 

https://www.thesun.co.uk/money/11981586/rules-wetherspoons-customers-pubs-reopen/

Edited by Orange Alert
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31 minutes ago, callmenuts said:

I'll be avoiding all pubs/restaurants and bars for the foreseeable future.

 

I've always enjoyed my own company anyway.

 

 

I do like going into cafe bars and test them if they take cash and want details to sit down and if they do I walk out.  I don't go to chain coffee bars, but the independents and I have been in bars that might have just one customer or nobody and they won't take my £3.60 cash for a cappuccino (London prices), well they are not desperate enough yet.

 

 

Edited by Orange Alert
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On 8/1/2020 at 11:16 AM, callmenuts said:

I'll be avoiding all pubs/restaurants and bars for the foreseeable future.

 

I've always enjoyed my own company anyway.

 

Me to from now on, it won't be the same. My hair dressing appointment was strange, no magazines allowed, no coffee, no music allowed, wrapped neck to foot in a plastic sheet. No muzzle though. Decided roots are the new fashion, and I'll cut my own hair from now on, would rather not go back. 

Always enjoyed my own company, too, somehow feel more lonely when im with some people, maybe I'm just a weirdo. Who knows. 

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9 minutes ago, Jaquiby said:

Me to from now on, it won't be the same. My hair dressing appointment was strange, no magazines allowed, no coffee, no music allowed, wrapped neck to foot in a plastic sheet. No muzzle though. Decided roots are the new fashion, and I'll cut my own hair from now on, would rather not go back. 

Always enjoyed my own company, too, somehow feel more lonely when im with some people, maybe I'm just a weirdo. Who knows. 

Im at the point where if I feel like they are not on my wave length I would rather be alone as cant be bothered with the fake talk 

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Just now, Problem child said:

Im at the point where if I feel like they are not on my wave length I would rather be alone as cant be bothered with the fake talk 

LOL I know what you mean. I only go in the mid afternoon for a couple of hours and listen to the UK column News just after it's been transmitted with a phone and headphones. The locals would think I was some kind of deranged alien if I had to tell them what the direction the world's being taken in.  

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10 minutes ago, Smokestack Lightnin' said:

LOL I know what you mean. I only go in the mid afternoon for a couple of hours and listen to the UK column News just after it's been transmitted with a phone and headphones. The locals would think I was some kind of deranged alien if I had to tell them what the direction the world's being taken in.  

I just cant be myself as I self censor everything for other peoples comfort and to avoid  awkwardness or distress haha. But it gets tiring as I want to scream - can you not see what is happening here and are you just going to pretend its all ok??? 😫

so much easier to avoid

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11 minutes ago, Problem child said:

I just cant be myself as I self censor everything for other peoples comfort and to avoid  awkwardness or distress haha. But it gets tiring as I want to scream - can you not see what is happening here and are you just going to pretend its all ok??? 😫

so much easier to avoid

Best to avoid conflict. It just takes one to complain and if he's backed up by a mate, you would be barred. Don't ever try and be rational with 'Spoon bar staff. 

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Went to a pub/restaurant for the first night time visit on sat night to meet with a dozen or so mates. We were in an outdoor area, enclosed by temporary constructed roof etc. It was damn cold for a summers evening so jacket was on very soon. Service was woeful, must have waited 40 mins to get our order in, 90 mins before food on the table. Those that were drinking told me they only managed to get 2 beers in for the 2 hours plus we were there. All this in what is considered one of the more progressive bar/restaurants in my town. I cant see many people wanting to endure this type of experience especially as we move into the winter. I most certainly wont anyway especially as I dont even drink, yes there are Irish people that abstain 😀

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  • 1 month later...

I visited a Wetherspoons this week. The footprints outside to queue up, the hand gel before you enter, the app to download or give your name and tel no and how long you are going to be there, order via an app, no ordering at the bar, wear a mask to go to the toilet and be escorted to the card payment with a staff member wearing a welding mask.  I sat at a table with a friend when someone I knew stopped to talk, he was asked to sit down and after a minute asked to leave as he hadn't sat down.  I told the young girl that she was being pedantic and we could have been seated together as we normally meet up, she reported me as I went to the toilet without a mask.  I told the guy that I was exempt who met me when I returned then he said I had to leave. 

 

Now there are a few things with nice but Tim and personally I wouldn't trust the guy as far as I could piss against  the wind.  I heard an opinion that he has been allowed to invest and flourish like no other major Breweries have been able to only to close down existing pubs that are going to the wall by the hour.

 

I would like to know more about Tim as I believe he is carrying out the Govt wishes and the measures his pubs are enforcing are so over the top it is comical.  The manager at the pub is a really nice guy and he said he only gets grief from him although it's performance is one of the best in the country.

 

Imagine just a couple of independent pubs in every town and a Wetherspoons where you had to abide by all the rules or be asked to leave every time you went for a pint..

 

There are many photos of Nice but Tim with Bufoon Boris..I think they are members of the 'same club'

 

hmm 18166200-7436451-image-a-21_156779523861

Edited by Diamond-Dog
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1 hour ago, Diamond-Dog said:

I visited a Wetherspoons this week. The footprints outside to queue up, the hand gel before you enter, the app to download or give your name and tel no and how long you are going to be there, order via an app, no ordering at the bar, wear a mask to go to the toilet and be escorted to the card payment with a staff member wearing a welding mask.  I sat at a table with a friend when someone I knew stopped to talk, he was asked to sit down and after a minute asked to leave as he hadn't sat down.  I told the young girl that she was being pedantic and we could have been seated together as we normally meet up, she reported me as I went to the toilet without a mask.  I told the guy that I was exempt who met me when I returned then he said I had to leave. 

 

Now there are a few things with nice but Tim and personally I wouldn't trust the guy as far as I could piss against  the wind.  I heard an opinion that he has been allowed to invest and flourish like no other major Breweries have been able to only to close down existing pubs that are going to the wall by the hour.

 

I would like to know more about Tim as I believe he is carrying out the Govt wishes and the measures his pubs are enforcing are so over the top it is comical.  The manager at the pub is a really nice guy and he said he only gets grief from him although it's performance is one of the best in the country.

 

Imagine just a couple of independent pubs in every town and a Wetherspoons where you had to abide by all the rules or be asked to leave every time you went for a pint..

 

There are many photos of Nice but Tim with Bufoon Boris..I think they are members of the 'same club'

 

hmm 18166200-7436451-image-a-21_156779523861

 

They could be related - judging by the effervescent hair do's  😛

 

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On 7/31/2020 at 2:22 PM, Not Thoth said:

It does make me wonder if the AI hive-mind cloud is already here and a vast number of the population have already plugged into it. It's the only explanation that I can come up with for such irrational compliant behaviour. Resistance is futile!

You are exactly correct. No use trying to wake them up, it’s impossible. All that’s left to do is consider them the enemy..

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7 hours ago, Beaujangles said:

Now there are a few things with nice but Tim and personally I wouldn't trust the guy as far as I could piss against  the wind.  I heard an opinion that he has been allowed to invest and flourish like no other major Breweries have been able to only to close down existing pubs that are going to the wall by the hour.

 

There's a whole different atmosphere to these 'beer dispensing halls' called Wetherspoons (It's a stretch to call them pubs.) The staff act with some sense of entitlement and will never laugh if anyone cracks a joke for example. They won't even acknowledge you've said something outside of the order and just quietly stare at the beer coming out the tap. They all act like they're a bit 'up themselves' so it must be part of the training they receive. I never go out at nights now and the pubs are great for the internet and the Real Ale festivals they have that comes from the micro breweries. 

Tim Martin does have some clout but then he pays plenty in tax and he's worth half a billion pounds personally. If anyone does start any antics, the police are there inside 2 minutes (at least in London) whereas it's the usual 2 week wait for independent pubs who will be lucky if a wandering PCSO on his beat to drops by asking if everything's ok?

 

I was barred from a couple of them when I lived in London a decade ago . My regular was the Gatehouse in Highgate, London which is where a lot of lawyers and guys from MI5 / MI6 live. They had three or four small private booth areas that I always went for which had seating for two on each side and were separated by a wooden panel. The phones weren't as advanced as they are now and I always had a laptop and headphones with me. Around 6pm two guys in pin stripe suits and yellow ties just sat down opposite me without even asking me if it was ok for them to sit there. I was so f***ing incensed lol that I stopped doing what I was doing and looked up some derogatory lawyer quotes before putting the laptop back in my bag and just sat there staring at them before asking if I could join in their conversation. I was about 3 pints gone and kept asking them about their latest corporate rip offs and how many suicides they had caused in their careers. I left after telling them the old 'What's the difference between a jellyfish and lawyer' joke .... (One's a poisonous spinless blob and the other's a from of sea-life.) I stood up to leave and said I was going to charge them £50 for my time 😀  . Next time I went back, the manager told me I was barred. They had grassed me up when I had left. I was naive enough to write to Wetherspoons head office but you can guess what they said. 

I only wrote all that because it's shit weather outside. 

 

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