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(much needed) HUMOUR THREAD


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One I made today 🤭 

Under tier 4 restrictions, non-essential shops, hairdressers and leisure and entertainment venues will close, with a new “stay at home” message introduced. People who need to travel for education or childcare will be exempt, and exercise will be unlimited.

 

borisandchris.jpg

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Apparently these are the top 10 British cracker jokes of 2020:

1 What is Dominic Cummings’s favourite Christmas song? Driving Home for Christmas.

2 Did you hear that production was down at Santa’s workshop? Many of his workers have had to elf isolate!

3 Why didn’t Mary and Joseph make it to Bethlehem? All Virgin flights were cancelled.

4 Why are Santa’s reindeer allowed to travel on Christmas Eve? They have herd immunity.

5 Why did the pirates have to go into lockdown? Because the “Arrrr!” rate had risen.

6 Why is it best to think of 2020 like a panto? Because, eventually, it’s behind you.

7 Why couldn’t Mary and Joseph join their work conference call? Because there was no Zoom at the inn.

8 Why can’t Boris Johnson make his Christmas cake until the last minute? He doesn’t know how many tiers it should have.

9 What do the Trumps do for Christmas dinner? They put on a super spread.

10 Which Christmas film was 30 years ahead of its time? Home Alone

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images.jpeg.05c15ee1a4391816d847b48a5ff61d43.jpegHerr Johnson IS Ebenezer Screwage

Missy Hancock IS Bob Scratchit and

Bill Woody Allen Kermit Gates IS Tiny Prick .... in a New Play.

 

Based on "A CHRISTMAS CAROL" by Prince Charles Dickends,an old classic is given a Vlad the Impaler treatment.

 

With Guest Appearance from Santa Klaus Schwab as the Ghost Of Christmas Confinement.

 

A "Gaslighting Group"Production.

 

(Please note any audiences over six people will be beaten over the head and arrested,for their own safety.)

 

The Critics are Raving.....as you know:

 

"You Vill NOT Enchoy It,Schweinhundt!!"

 

 

Edited by Foggy Dewhurst
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