sickofallthebollocks Posted June 7, 2020 Share Posted June 7, 2020 (edited) 8 minutes ago, kj35 said: No I thought screaming was joking. But been here long enough to know they wouldn't joke about that. My bad x apologies Ahhh, no worries kj, I didn't mind at all apologising for de-railing the thread a little - I actually thought you had a good point anyway buddy. (I don't know about Mr A, know he's an experienced member here with huge post reactions, and very surprised he's been banned? (I'm out of forum reactions - already)- but thanks for the reply Edited June 7, 2020 by sickofallthebollocks my crappy spelling/punctuation Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EnigmaticWorld Posted June 7, 2020 Share Posted June 7, 2020 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nemuri Kyoshiro Posted June 7, 2020 Share Posted June 7, 2020 (edited) Man goes to the doctors. "Doctor" he says, "every time I go for a shit, it comes out shaped like chips". Doctor makes him undress, makes a few hmm noises and sends him home. The bloke comes back a week later and says, "doctor, the problem is solved. What did you do?" The doctor replies "I cut six inches off your string vest." I felt sorry for the hypnotist I saw last night. He hypnotized seven blokes then he tripped over the microphone wire and yelled "fuck me!" What happened next will haunt me for the rest of my life. I was having a smoke outside the pub last night and this guy in a wheelchair said to me "why do you smoke when you don't have to?" I looked at him and asked " why the fuck are you wearing shoes?" The wife has been missing a week now.. Police said to prepare for the worst. So I have been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back. I’ve just got a Jehovah Witness advent calendar. Every time you open a door, someone tells you to fuck off. Edited June 7, 2020 by Nemuri Kyoshiro 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steven Tansell Posted June 7, 2020 Share Posted June 7, 2020 It's been about six months since my mother in law spoke to me, she's still sulking over a little incident that happened between us and she just won't forget it! All this unpleasantness because I never held the car door open for her, I'll be honest here and admit I panicked and tried to swim to the surface, and for some reason, she took offence! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peter Posted June 7, 2020 Share Posted June 7, 2020 Barman walks up to a fellow with his face in his hands crying , whats up mate said the barman ,it's hard to loose your wife said the bloke ,the barman replied ,yeah I know ,it's dam near impossible Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steven Tansell Posted June 8, 2020 Share Posted June 8, 2020 The woman who apparently came up with this doorstep clapping bollocks is a Dutch national living in South London, called Ms Annmarie Plas, single mother of one! Imagine the kid growing up and being reminded all the time that ' In 2020 it was your mommy who gave a large percentage of Britain the clap'! What a monument to family values that will be! Obviously she is another stooge set up by the real rulers and their underlings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sentient Being Posted June 8, 2020 Share Posted June 8, 2020 I used to listen to Steve Penk on the radio back in the day. The one at 13:46 was a short one but he played it on a few people. He managed to drag one out for about 5 minutes and the bloke at the end of it went ballistic and slammed the phone down Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Velma Posted June 8, 2020 Share Posted June 8, 2020 Me trying to keep myself from posting what I really know. https://www.youtube.com/post/UgweS-kDdt2kaRPjKsB4AaABCQ 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EnigmaticWorld Posted June 9, 2020 Share Posted June 9, 2020 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HistoryIsComplex Posted June 9, 2020 Share Posted June 9, 2020 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leapy Posted June 10, 2020 Share Posted June 10, 2020 You have to feel sorry for pirates, with Covid -19 spacing. How will they ever find that buried treasure? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leapy Posted June 12, 2020 Share Posted June 12, 2020 Why don't people think of the Pigeons? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsnotallrightjack Posted June 12, 2020 Share Posted June 12, 2020 The Arse Cheeks of Oppression. Laughter is micro aggression and abuse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mitochondrial Eve Posted June 12, 2020 Share Posted June 12, 2020 34 minutes ago, Leapy said: Why don't people think of the Pigeons? 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsnotallrightjack Posted June 12, 2020 Share Posted June 12, 2020 More Wanktifa wokery: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsnotallrightjack Posted June 12, 2020 Share Posted June 12, 2020 1 minute ago, Mitochondrial Eve said: HA HA HA HA---maybe the pigeons can come and shit on the wanktifas heads! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsnotallrightjack Posted June 12, 2020 Share Posted June 12, 2020 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsnotallrightjack Posted June 12, 2020 Share Posted June 12, 2020 Maybe I shouldn't have laughed, but the first one- OMG I laughed so hard my stomach hurt! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsnotallrightjack Posted June 12, 2020 Share Posted June 12, 2020 That Crow knows how to stir up the shit LOL. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KingKitty Posted June 13, 2020 Share Posted June 13, 2020 You see Legos, I see the future THEY have for us. ...not sure why a few kangaroo heads showed up? G'day! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leapy Posted June 13, 2020 Share Posted June 13, 2020 Wonder how Churchill would feel about boxing up his statue? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Velma Posted June 13, 2020 Share Posted June 13, 2020 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theo102 Posted June 13, 2020 Share Posted June 13, 2020 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nobby Noboddy Posted June 13, 2020 Share Posted June 13, 2020 On 6/8/2020 at 12:11 PM, Steven Tansell said: The woman who apparently came up with this doorstep clapping bollocks is a Dutch national living in South London, called Ms Annmarie Plas, single mother of one! Imagine the kid growing up and being reminded all the time that ' In 2020 it was your mommy who gave a large percentage of Britain the clap'! What a monument to family values that will be! Obviously she is another stooge set up by the real rulers and their underlings. The clapping started elsewhere, it has Tavistock written all over it so I doubt that story. Good joke though. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steven Tansell Posted June 13, 2020 Share Posted June 13, 2020 4 hours ago, Nobby Noboddy said: The clapping started elsewhere, it has Tavistock written all over it so I doubt that story. Good joke though. :) I know mate, that's why I wrote 'apparently' I was using my 'sheeple eyes', a bit tongue in cheek you might say! Have a good weekend and thanks for the reply! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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