A HUMOUR THREAD

[Mr H]

29 minutes ago, Mr Crabtree said:

In the army one of the standing bits of banter used to be 'who called the cook a cunt'? and then a few of the lads would chime in with 'Who called the cunt a cook'?

It all sounds a bit childish now, but back in the day it always raised a loud cheer!

My dad was in the army. Can imagine the "bantz"

 

What regiment were you in dude?

[Mr Crabtree]

1 hour ago, Mr H said:

My dad was in the army. Can imagine the "bantz"

 

What regiment were you in dude?

The Royal Green Jackets, in 50 short years I've gone from a fit young rifleman to a fat old granddad, I've gone from  the regulation light infantry pace of 140 paces per minute to the pensioners pace of 140 paces per day now Still fit enough to go carp fishing though, and that's where I'm off to this afternoon for five or six hours!

[Mr H]

2 hours ago, Mr Crabtree said:

The Royal Green Jackets, in 50 short years I've gone from a fit young rifleman to a fat old granddad, I've gone from  the regulation light infantry pace of 140 paces per minute to the pensioners pace of 140 paces per day now Still fit enough to go carp fishing though, and that's where I'm off to this afternoon for five or six hours!

Enjoy my friend.....

[Frankieboy]

 

[Mr Crabtree]

[Mr Crabtree]

[Mr Crabtree]

[Mr Crabtree]

[Mr Crabtree]

[Mr Crabtree]

[Mr Crabtree]

[Mr Crabtree]

[Mr Crabtree]

9 hours ago, Mr Crabtree said:

The Royal Green Jackets, in 50 short years I've gone from a fit young rifleman to a fat old granddad, I've gone from  the regulation light infantry pace of 140 paces per minute to the pensioners pace of 140 paces per day now Still fit enough to go carp fishing though, and that's where I'm off to this afternoon for five or six hours!

 

[Mr H]

[Mr Crabtree]

BREAKING NEWS,

                                                THE MAN WHO INVENTED THE SPEED BOAT HAS DIED, HE IS TO BE CREMATED AND HIS ASHES WILL BE TIPPED INTO THE SEA FROM HIS FIRST EVER SPEED BOAT, THIS WILL BE FOLLOWED BY A LARGE WAKE FOR ALL AS THE BOAT MAKES IT'S WAY BACK TO  HARBOUR!

 

 

Edited July 9 by Mr Crabtree

[Mr Crabtree]

[Mr Crabtree]

[Mr Crabtree]

21 hours ago, Mr Crabtree said:

[Mr Crabtree]

A VEGAN SAID TO ME 'PEOPLE WHO SELL MEAT ARE DISGUSTING'!

I SAID 'PEOPLE WHO SELL FRUIT AND VEGETABLES  ARE GROCER'!

[k_j_evans]

1 hour ago, Mr Crabtree said:

BREAKING NEWS,

                                                THE MAN WHO INVENTED THE SPEED BOAT HAS DIED, HE IS TO BE CREMATED AND HIS ASHES WILL BE TIPPED INTO THE SEA FROM HIS FIRST EVER SPEED BOAT, THIS WILL BE FOLLOWED BY A LARGE WAKE FOR ALL AS THE BOAT MAKES IT'S WAY BACK TO  HARBOUR!

 

 

Oh dear. That reminds me of primary school. 
"Did you know that they're making Campbell soup out of Coniston Water?" If you are old enough to remember that bit of bad taste.

[Mr Crabtree]

3 hours ago, k_j_evans said:

Oh dear. That reminds me of primary school. 
"Did you know that they're making Campbell soup out of Coniston Water?" If you are old enough to remember that bit of bad taste.

Oh the Sir Donald Campbell mystery was solved years ago, apparently he popped out through a kitchen tap in Ullswater some weeks after the 'tragic' event!

1967.

 

[Mr Crabtree]

[Mr Crabtree]

[Mr H]

7 hours ago, Mr Crabtree said:

I nearly vomited

[Mr Crabtree]

2 hours ago, Mr H said:

I nearly vomited

Fancy our Prime Mincer trying to push that chewing gum back down his throat, only to find it wasn't chewing gum after all, he'd merely cleared his throat of some unwanted mucus!

He once put chewing gum on the end of his tadger before having sex, he said to his friend 'when you start chewing, I'll stop pushing'!

Edited July 10 by Mr Crabtree