Frankieboy Posted June 4 Share Posted June 4 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Avoiceinthecrowd Posted June 4 Share Posted June 4 Therapist: Your wife says you never buy her flowers is that true? Him: To be honest, I never knew she sold flowers. 2 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted June 4 Share Posted June 4 (edited) 33 minutes ago, Avoiceinthecrowd said: Therapist: Your wife says you never buy her flowers is that true? Him: To be honest, I never knew she sold flowers. Patrick brought his wife a bunch of red roses home in a drunken display of affection, when Mary saw them she was gobsmacked and ran off upstairs crying with joy. A minute later she called down to him to come upstairs, as he walked into the bedroom he discovered her lying there with nothing on and her legs in the air! She said 'there you go Pat, this is for the roses'! Patrick said 'don't be silly Mary, I'll go downstairs and put them in a proper vase'! Edited June 4 by Mr Crabtree 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted June 4 Share Posted June 4 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted June 5 Share Posted June 5 (edited) DOE 'MINT CONDITION' MEAN THERE'S A HOLE IN THE MIDDLE? Edited June 5 by Mr Crabtree Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted June 5 Share Posted June 5 WHAT FLAVOUR ARE THEY THOUGH? ANSWERS ON A POSTCARD PLEASE! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted June 5 Share Posted June 5 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted June 5 Share Posted June 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted June 5 Share Posted June 5 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pi3141 Posted June 5 Share Posted June 5 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pi3141 Posted June 5 Share Posted June 5 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pi3141 Posted June 5 Share Posted June 5 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pi3141 Posted June 5 Share Posted June 5 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grumpy Grapes Posted June 5 Share Posted June 5 5 hours ago, Mr Crabtree said: DOE 'MINT CONDITION' MEAN THERE'S A HOLE IN THE MIDDLE? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted June 5 Share Posted June 5 1 hour ago, Grumpy Grapes said: IS THIS A JOKE? YOU DON'T HONESTLY EXPECT ME TO SWALLOW THAT DO YOU? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grumpy Grapes Posted June 5 Share Posted June 5 (edited) 1 hour ago, Mr Crabtree said: IS THIS A JOKE? YOU DON'T HONESTLY EXPECT ME TO SWALLOW THAT DO YOU? Genuine quote: "Mint-flavoured condoms are flavoured with diluted and sweetened mint extract, so you don’t feel like you’re sucking on a polo." This gives new meaning to "After Eight" Chocolate Mints. Edited June 5 by Grumpy Grapes 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pi3141 Posted June 5 Share Posted June 5 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted June 5 Share Posted June 5 3 hours ago, pi3141 said: I BET THAT LYCRA CLAD, COVID ENABLER AND RIGHT SMARMY CUNT, JEREMY VINE IS UP AT THE FRONT OF THE BIKE NONCES DAY OUT TRIP! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted June 5 Share Posted June 5 13 hours ago, Mr Crabtree said: WHAT FLAVOUR ARE THEY THOUGH? ANSWERS ON A POSTCARD PLEASE! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted June 5 Share Posted June 5 (edited) HIS MISSUS TRUDIE STYLER CAME FROM THE MIDLAND VILLAGE I LIVED IN BEFORE MOVING TO BRIGHTON, SHE WAS A RIGHT STUCK UP COW BEFORE SHE EVER MET GORDON SUMNER BUT HER OLD DAD WAS A BRILLIANT BLOKE LIKED BY EVERYONE IN STOKE PRIOR! Edited June 5 by Mr Crabtree 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted June 5 Share Posted June 5 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted June 5 Share Posted June 5 (edited) Keir Starmer has vowed to give free school dinners to another half a million schoolchildren in the next two years or as soon as enough boats arrive to fill that quota! Some of the children may look older than our own children, but that is only because they've led very hard lives before arriving here in the land of the Golden Goose! ANOTHER CLASS OF 8 YEAR OLDS ARRIVING ON THE SOUTH COAST AFTER COMING ON A DAY TRIP FROM CALAIS, IT'S THOUGHT THAT THE BOY WITH HIS HAND UP NEEDS THE TOILET! Edited June 5 by Mr Crabtree 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frankieboy Posted June 6 Share Posted June 6 8 hours ago, Mr Crabtree said: Keir Starmer has vowed to give free school dinners to another half a million schoolchildren in the next two years or as soon as enough boats arrive to fill that quota! Some of the children may look older than our own children, but that is only because they've led very hard lives before arriving here in the land of the Golden Goose! ANOTHER CLASS OF 8 YEAR OLDS ARRIVING ON THE SOUTH COAST AFTER COMING ON A DAY TRIP FROM CALAIS, IT'S THOUGHT THAT THE BOY WITH HIS HAND UP NEEDS THE TOILET! Jolly boys outing 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Campion Posted June 6 Share Posted June 6 5 hours ago, Frankieboy said: Jolly boys outing 3 33 men in a boat 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted June 6 Share Posted June 6 MY EX USED ONE MADE BY BLACK AND DECKER, SHE WAS FOREVER SHARPENING THE BLADES, BUT, THE TRIMMINGS CAME IN VERY HANDY FOR INSULATING THE LOFT! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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