1velocity7 Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 THEY SEEM TO HAVE DITCHED WILDFIRES NOW, AND MOVED ONTO PLANE CRASHES, WHAT'S NEXT? TRAIN CRASHES? FLOODS? HIGH RISE BUILDINGS COLLAPSING? FERRIES SINKING? MASSIVE GAS EXPLOSIONS? OR ANOTHER NUTCASE DRIVING A TRUCK INTO CROWDS OF PEOPLE? OH, WAIT, WE HAVEN'T HAD A SHOPPING MALL OR SCHOOL SHOOTING FOR A WHILE HAVE WE? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 (edited) My uncle Charlie was often described as 'A LADIES MAN', mostly by Judges or Magistrates as they handed him his latest injunction to stay at least 200 metres away from any ladies toilets! He was also a bit of a 'flasher' too, but, during the last few cold winters he made do with just describing himself to any ladies he fancied rather than risk dying of exposure during the cold weather! Alas, old age caught up with him eventually when he tried to flash a policewoman and was charged with 'INSULT WITH A DEAD WEAPON' he was fined £200.00 and pay a victim surcharge of £100.00 to the traumatised lady officer! Uncle Charlie dropping the policewoman off after being cautioned by the lady in question, and then, he had the cheek to asked for her phone number! Charlie's motto was NEVER SAY DIE'! Edited February 2 by Mr Crabtree Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 MY LATEST GARDEN SHED WORKSHOP INVENTION, A THREE BARRELED SHOTGUN I'M GOING TO CALL A TRIFLE! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grumpy Grapes Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 1 hour ago, Mr Crabtree said: MY LATEST GARDEN SHED WORKSHOP INVENTION, A THREE BARRELED SHOTGUN I'M GOING TO CALL A TRIFLE! So that's how Lee Harvey Oswald did it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grumpy Grapes Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 (edited) If you use the magnifying option on the photo (top right icon) of the man by this water fountain, you might be able to see something amusing Edited February 2 by Grumpy Grapes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fluke Posted February 3 Share Posted February 3 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted February 3 Share Posted February 3 THE OFFICER IN THE MIDDLE IS GUPTA SINGH ON SECONDMENT FROM THE BENGAL LANCERS TO STUDY WESTERN POLICE METHODS! JUDGING BY THE OTHER OFFICERS EXPRESSIONS SOMEONES JUST FARTED AND THEY'RE TRYING HARD NOT TO GIGGLE! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted February 3 Share Posted February 3 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted February 3 Share Posted February 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted February 3 Share Posted February 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted February 3 Share Posted February 3 (edited) Edited February 3 by Mr Crabtree Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted February 3 Share Posted February 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted February 3 Share Posted February 3 (edited) Edited February 3 by Mr Crabtree 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted February 3 Share Posted February 3 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted February 3 Share Posted February 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted February 3 Share Posted February 3 I see Scotland are thinking of banning cats? GOOD the music is crap, and that Lloyd-Webber is a twat! He is, by all accounts, very fond of a little pussy himself though! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted February 3 Share Posted February 3 Diana Dors daughter ERIN has kept her maiden name after getting married, so will continue being known as 'ER IN DOORS'! A Brighton man pleaded guilty to stealing three six foot fence panels and a garden gate from B &Q's locked compound in Lewes Road Brighton after a drunken night out on a friend's stag night! He also asked for three other fences to be taken into consideration! Two more members of the same stag night pleaded guilty to stealing a 2025 calendar from an all night shop, the Judge ruled that they should have six months each! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted February 3 Share Posted February 3 Captain Rebecca Labach the helicopter pilot who collided with the American Airlines flight in D.C. was described by a superior officer as being considered a high flier by her instructors! Unfortunately though, not high enough on this particular occasion! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted February 3 Share Posted February 3 On 2/2/2025 at 4:50 PM, Mr Crabtree said: THEY SEEM TO HAVE DITCHED WILDFIRES NOW, AND MOVED ONTO PLANE CRASHES, WHAT'S NEXT? TRAIN CRASHES? FLOODS? HIGH RISE BUILDINGS COLLAPSING? FERRIES SINKING? MASSIVE GAS EXPLOSIONS? OR ANOTHER NUTCASE DRIVING A TRUCK INTO CROWDS OF PEOPLE? OH, WAIT, WE HAVEN'T HAD A SHOPPING MALL OR SCHOOL SHOOTING FOR A WHILE HAVE WE? OOP'S = Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grumpy Grapes Posted February 4 Share Posted February 4 3 hours ago, Mr Crabtree said: Captain Rebecca Labach the helicopter pilot who collided with the American Airlines flight in D.C. was described by a superior officer as being considered a high flier by her instructors! Unfortunately though, not high enough on this particular occasion! She probably had just taken a crash course. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pi3141 Posted February 4 Share Posted February 4 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr H Posted February 4 Share Posted February 4 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr H Posted February 4 Share Posted February 4 asked my wife why she married me. She said “because you're so funny and make me laugh so much." I told her I thought it was because I was so charming and good looking. She replied. “See? You're hilarious!" 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr H Posted February 4 Share Posted February 4 Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because it's p is silent. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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