Mr Crabtree Posted January 6 Share Posted January 6 RACIST BASTARDS, THINKING IT'S FUNNY TO RUN AROUND IN BLACKFACE MAKEUP, STARMER SHOULD JAIL 'EM! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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Mr Crabtree Posted January 7 Share Posted January 7 My neighbour Tommy keeps joking travelling faster than the speed of light? Really?, he must have a warped sense of humour Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted January 7 Share Posted January 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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Mr Crabtree Posted January 7 Share Posted January 7 TOO TECHNICAL FOR ME, I'M AFRAID! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted January 7 Share Posted January 7 (edited) COME ON YOU MUGS, CHOOSE YOUR MUG AND JOIN THE TEA PARTY FOR A REAL CHANGE! Edited January 7 by Mr Crabtree Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted January 7 Share Posted January 7 Mr Crabtree's spot the difference competition! First prize = A night out with Angela Rayner, Second prize= a WEEK out with Angela Rayner! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pi3141 Posted January 7 Share Posted January 7 On 1/4/2025 at 11:05 PM, Mr Crabtree said: Black Widow! Had one of them, Lol, and for me, a Walther LP53 Air pistol, the one they used in James Bond promotion posters. It was a cool gun. Could shoot ear buds out of it. I've still got a drawing i made of it at home. My mate shot me in the foot with his air rifle when we were mucking about. Lol good times. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frankieboy Posted January 7 Share Posted January 7 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
webtrekker Posted January 8 Share Posted January 8 Something I nicked from a post on the TCW site ... They're Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services: The Fasting & Prayer Conference (includes meals). -------------------------- The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.' -------------------------- Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands. -------------------------- Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help. -------------------------- Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation. -------------------------- For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs. -------------------------- Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get. -------------------------- Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days. -------------------------- A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow. -------------------------- At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice. -------------------------- Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones. -------------------------- Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children. -------------------------- Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered. -------------------------- The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility. -------------------------- Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow. -------------------------- The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon. -------------------------- This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin. -------------------------- The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday. -------------------------- Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door. -------------------------- The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy. -------------------------- Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance. -------------------------- The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.' 2 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pi3141 Posted January 8 Share Posted January 8 14 hours ago, pi3141 said: I've still got a drawing i made of it at home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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Screamingeagle Posted January 8 Share Posted January 8 i`m telling you cats are aliens!!!! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted January 8 Share Posted January 8 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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Mitochondrial Eve Posted January 8 Share Posted January 8 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted January 8 Share Posted January 8 (edited) 2 hours ago, Mitochondrial Eve said: NO, NO,NO P.C. WORLD, WHEN I SAID 'DIP YOUR HEADLIGHTS, THAT WASN'T WHAT I HAD IN MIND, AND NOW SHE WON'T START AT ALL, I THINK YOU'VE FLOODED THE ENGINE'! 'OH, SHALL I RING THE CAR POOL AND SEE IF WE CAN HAVE ANOTHER VEHICLE'? Edited January 8 by Mr Crabtree Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted January 8 Share Posted January 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted January 8 Share Posted January 8 NEVER TRUST A BENT COPPER! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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