Grumpy Grapes Posted December 25, 2024 Share Posted December 25, 2024 (edited) Crappy Histmas!! Edited December 25, 2024 by Grumpy Grapes 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theo102 Posted December 25, 2024 Share Posted December 25, 2024 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pi3141 Posted December 25, 2024 Share Posted December 25, 2024 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pi3141 Posted December 25, 2024 Share Posted December 25, 2024 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pi3141 Posted December 25, 2024 Share Posted December 25, 2024 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted December 25, 2024 Share Posted December 25, 2024 (edited) A LOVELY FESTIVE JUMPER FOR THE 'MAN'? WHO'S FUCKED OFF ON HOLIDAY TO TRY AND FORGET ABOUT ALL THE PENSIONERS HE'S LEFT TO FREEZE OVER THE WINTER! We always have Christmas jumpers every year, and it's ALWAYS my job to talk them down of the roof My wife say's it's only fair, considering it was me that drove them up there in the first place? Edited December 25, 2024 by Mr Crabtree Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theo102 Posted December 25, 2024 Share Posted December 25, 2024 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted December 25, 2024 Share Posted December 25, 2024 A cop stopped a little old lady driving slowly down the street, he looked at her licence, that was O.K., then jokingly asked 'have you got any weapons in your possession'? She said ' yes, a 357 Magnum in the glove compartment, a 38 special in my ankle holster, a 45 on my hip and a pump action Remington shotgun down the side of my seat'! He said 'my god lady , what are you scared of'? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theo102 Posted December 25, 2024 Share Posted December 25, 2024 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grumpy Grapes Posted December 25, 2024 Share Posted December 25, 2024 (edited) Jokes from Tim Vine At my friend's house I started shaking a glass sphere. I said "Your snow globe is rubbish". He said "You've just killed my goldfish". You get all sorts of presents for Christmas. The other day I got a boomerang from a ghost. I bet that'll come back to haunt me. I said "My grandfather just swerved off a roundabout and into a forest". A friend said "How is he now?" I said "Well he's turned a corner but he's not out of the woods yet." Edited December 25, 2024 by Grumpy Grapes 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted December 26, 2024 Share Posted December 26, 2024 Old Korean saying= 'a puppy is not just for Christmas, you can have the leftovers on Boxing Day'! 2 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted December 27, 2024 Share Posted December 27, 2024 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted December 27, 2024 Share Posted December 27, 2024 (edited) On 12/25/2024 at 11:33 PM, Grumpy Grapes said: I said "My grandfather just swerved off a roundabout and into a forest". A friend said "How is he now?" I said "Well he's turned a corner but he's not out of the woods yet." My Auntie Jim 'accidently slipped' whilst naked and the end of the 'Henry' vacuum cleaner became wedged up his botty he was rushed off to hospital I range up this morning to see how he was doing? and they told me he was still in a bit of pain, but otherwise, he was picking up nicely! Even 'Henry' seemed relieved! Edited December 27, 2024 by Mr Crabtree 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted December 27, 2024 Share Posted December 27, 2024 I'VE SEEN IT ALL NOW, DON'T YOU JUST LOVE THE AMERICANS? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted December 27, 2024 Share Posted December 27, 2024 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted December 27, 2024 Share Posted December 27, 2024 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted December 27, 2024 Share Posted December 27, 2024 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted December 27, 2024 Share Posted December 27, 2024 (edited) I watched 'OLIVER' today, no wonder Bill Sykes ended up killing Nancy, every time they met, she wouldn't stop fucking singing! Edited December 27, 2024 by Mr Crabtree 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grumpy Grapes Posted December 27, 2024 Share Posted December 27, 2024 The Victorians knew how to celebrate Christmas. 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grumpy Grapes Posted December 27, 2024 Share Posted December 27, 2024 (edited) 4 hours ago, Mr Crabtree said: Well, that sucks. Edited December 27, 2024 by Grumpy Grapes 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted December 27, 2024 Share Posted December 27, 2024 A lady was very surprised when her husband came home early from his job at the local bacon factory on the edge of town! She asked what was wrong? he replied 'The bastards have sacked me'! She asked 'WHY'? He said 'we went to the pub for a quick one at lunchtime, I had four pints, and then, back at work, I just fancied sticking my dick in the bacon slicer for a bit of a joke'! She said 'Oh my God, what happened then'? He said 'the bastards sacked me, I just told you that'! She said 'I meant, what happened to the bacon slicer'? He said 'Oh they sacked her as well, them bastards could never take a joke'! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted December 27, 2024 Share Posted December 27, 2024 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted December 27, 2024 Share Posted December 27, 2024 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grumpy Grapes Posted December 28, 2024 Share Posted December 28, 2024 It might have been a celebration of their legendary black away strip. This year it's blue, so look out for blueberry pies. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted December 28, 2024 Share Posted December 28, 2024 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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