Mr Crabtree Posted December 18, 2024 Share Posted December 18, 2024 1 minute ago, Mr Crabtree said: Buenos Aires hotels make me feel jumpy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted December 18, 2024 Share Posted December 18, 2024 (edited) Edited December 18, 2024 by Mr Crabtree 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Screamingeagle Posted December 18, 2024 Share Posted December 18, 2024 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grumpy Grapes Posted December 18, 2024 Share Posted December 18, 2024 13 hours ago, Grumpy Grapes said: I've just seen a dystopian sci-fi movie about mankind's future, in which we are enslaved by alcoholics: "Planet of the Grapes" The sequels Enslaved by Batman's enemy, The Joker - "Planet of the Japes" Batman and Superman regain control - "Planet of the Capes" Enslaved by curtain manufacturers - "Planet of the Drapes" Enslaved by pancake-frying chefs - "Planet of the Crepes" Enslaved by 'The Mister Men' - "Planet of the Shapes" Enslaved by the anti-tobacco lobby - "Planet of the Vapes" 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted December 18, 2024 Share Posted December 18, 2024 (edited) When my kids were a lot younger, they stopped believing in Santa, now, years later and grown up, they've reached to point where they've stopped believing in Starmer! ! Edited December 18, 2024 by Mr Crabtree Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted December 18, 2024 Share Posted December 18, 2024 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted December 18, 2024 Share Posted December 18, 2024 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted December 18, 2024 Share Posted December 18, 2024 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted December 18, 2024 Share Posted December 18, 2024 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted December 18, 2024 Share Posted December 18, 2024 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted December 18, 2024 Share Posted December 18, 2024 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted December 18, 2024 Share Posted December 18, 2024 (edited) I just looked at my wife and thought 'she's a lot brighter than me'! Then I thought 'well SHE IS THE ONE ON FIRE'! MY NEIGHBOUR BERT IS IN THE DOG HOUSE AGAIN, HE BOUGHT HIS THREE YEAR OLD GRANDDAUGHTER A JIGSAW FOR XMAS, HIS WIFE WENT BALLISTIC 'SHE'S TOO YOUNG FOR POWER TOOLS YOU TWAT' SHE SCREAMED AT HIM! I SAID WHAT HAPPENED NEXT? HE SAID 'I SUPPOSE I'LL HAVE TO HAVE IT THEN, IT'S A GOOD JOB I WAS THINKING OF GETTING MYSELF ONE IN THE JANUARY SALES ENNIT'? Edited December 18, 2024 by Mr Crabtree Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted December 19, 2024 Share Posted December 19, 2024 If I could change the colour of just one of the seven dwarves I know I would dye Happy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted December 19, 2024 Share Posted December 19, 2024 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted December 19, 2024 Share Posted December 19, 2024 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted December 20, 2024 Share Posted December 20, 2024 My brother Percival has been banned from social media and had his windows egged because of his advert 'I WANT TO GET MY HANDS ON AN OLD TRANNY AT A REASONABLE PRICE, I REALLY DON'T MIND IF IT WANTS TOUCHING UP A BIT, AS LONG AS IT'S CHEAPISH AND A GOER!' He can't understand why people have turned on him because he's after one of these= 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1velocity7 Posted December 21, 2024 Share Posted December 21, 2024 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted December 22, 2024 Share Posted December 22, 2024 SOMEONE'S A STRANGLERS FAN! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted December 22, 2024 Share Posted December 22, 2024 Oleksandr Usyk fought Tyson Fury on the 21 Dec and won on points, all three judges scored the fight 116 - 112, that was piss poor organising I reckon, they should have had the fight on Boxing Day surely? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr H Posted December 22, 2024 Share Posted December 22, 2024 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr H Posted December 22, 2024 Share Posted December 22, 2024 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted December 22, 2024 Share Posted December 22, 2024 Just tried to read a book written by a transwoman, it was just a lot of 'He said / She said' pile of crap, there was a foreword by Keir Starmer that convinced me, to donate it to an elderly lady to burn and keep a bit of heat in her fire grate for a few minutes! She refused and snuggled up under her duvet, telling me 'He'll burn soon enough where he's going'! Tom phoned up SMYTHS TOYS and asked if they had the family game 'OPERATION' in stock?, they said 'No, you can order one, but, there's a three to four year waiting list '! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grumpy Grapes Posted December 23, 2024 Share Posted December 23, 2024 39 minutes ago, Mr Crabtree said: Just tried to read a book written by a transwoman, it was just a lot of 'He said / She said' pile of crap, there was a foreword by Keir Starmer that convinced me, to donate it to an elderly lady to burn and keep a bit of heat in her fire grate for a few minutes! She refused and snuggled up under her duvet, telling me 'He'll burn soon enough where he's going'! Tom phoned up SMYTHS TOYS and asked if they had the family game 'OPERATION' in stock?, they said 'No, you can order one, but, there's a three to four year waiting list '! You must have a large funny bone (Snigger). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted December 23, 2024 Share Posted December 23, 2024 13 minutes ago, Grumpy Grapes said: You must have a large funny bone (Snigger). At 76 that's the only large bone I do have these days! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lobster Posted December 23, 2024 Share Posted December 23, 2024 (edited) On 12/18/2024 at 11:59 AM, Screamingeagle said: Apparently Hitler didn't like it up there, the height scared the shit out if him,so he seldom went, preferring more modest accommodation a lot lower down the mountain . Hitler was so scared of height he wore a flying helmet in a motor car He also had a tea shop built exactly half way round his daily walk, that's a full staffed tea shop of which he was the only customer for half an hour a day, a real man of the people Edited December 23, 2024 by lobster Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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