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Mr Crabtree

Mr Crabtree

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Posted

There was a bloke standing on the corner clutching a pile of magazines and he must have been on something or other because as I crept past him he asked me if I wanted to buy 'a bigger shoe'? 🤔 I've been caught out by this man before, he once sold me a pair of new trainers, I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!🫣 

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lobster

lobster

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Posted
7 minutes ago, Mr Crabtree said:

There was a bloke standing on the corner clutching a pilu for himch to smalle of magazines and he must have been on something or other because as I crept past him he asked me if I wanted to buy 'a bigger shoe'? 🤔 I've been caught out by this man before, he once sold me a pair of new trainers, I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!🫣 

I w walked round town with a pair of seize thirteen trainers, just waiting for someone to request " bigger shoes" when my moment arrived I said " here mate" and tossed them at him, 

 

He immediately put them on and started to cry at my generosity, it completely killed the joke and I've never felt such a complete cunt, apparently he actually had shoes that were too small for him

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Mr Crabtree

Mr Crabtree

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Posted (edited)
45 minutes ago, lobster said:

I w walked round town with a pair of seize thirteen trainers, just waiting for someone to request " bigger shoes" when my moment arrived I said " here mate" and tossed them at him, 

 

He immediately put them on and started to cry at my generosity, it completely killed the joke and I've never felt such a complete cunt, apparently he actually had shoes that were too small for him

Years back when I was 'teaboy' / hod carrier on the building site me mam bought me a brand new pair of boots from the local 'Army and Navy Store' and I was really chuffed with 'em!

One of the 'brickies' said 'nice boots kid'! I said 'yeah they ain't bad for seven and six {in old money} he said 'really'? so I held up my left foot and said' this is a seven, and the other one is a six'🤭 He wasn't too impressed with my taking the piss and said 'if you worked as hard carrying the hod as you do trying to be funny, we'd have built the fucking place by now'! I retorted back 'if we'd had some proper brickies on site maybe we would have'!🤔 That's how I got my first ever split lip!🫣 I got my own back though, I used to piss in his metal mug before topping his tea up every break time until the job was finished! 🙄 I was a vengeful little bastard even then! 👍 Rough old times in the sixties / seventies building trade, if it rained and you sat in the shanty you never got paid, unless you worked in it and then you got 'wet time money' about another tuppence an hour if you were lucky! You had to pay for a 'holiday stamp' every week to cover your holidays, most people if they were a bit short of cash used to cash them in way before the holiday times just to have a quid or two in their pocket for the pub! One local firm had us young workers sitting in the stores with a hammer straightening out bent nails from blocks of old timber to re-use again!   

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Mr Crabtree

Mr Crabtree

Posted
Posted

'Prince' Andrew invited an 'alleged' Chinese spy into Buckingham Palace it's claimed!

Hmm I wonder if he was bribed with SUM YUNG HO?🤔

 

A 'trans woman'🙄 has died after sticking an eyeliner pencil up 'her' rectum,🫣 police are looking into it and trying to find any contacts 'she' may of had at that time! 🤫

 

A friend of mine recently had a nasty argument with a sales assistant in a lingerie shop, he stood his ground and said 'go on then, show me the sign that says 'IF YOU SNIFF IT, YOU BUY IT!' ?🤔  Last year he got arrested for checking his bollocks out for testicular cancer, the policeman agreed that it was important to do this, but, NOT in the self checkout aisle of the local Asda! A couple of years ago he got knocked out cold by his sister in law! 🙄 As he asked the judge later 'what sort of weirdo woman sprinkles chloroform in her knickers drawer anyway'?:classic_love:

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lobster

lobster

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31 minutes ago, Mr Crabtree said:

Chris McCausland won 'Strictly' then? he said he'd had one eye on the trophy all the way through, although his dancing partner Dianne Buswell said she personally thought that Chris really never saw it coming and was totally shocked by the award!

Now he can dance he is taking on some  pupils one is called iris and the other (re)tina

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