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Anyone remember the 1972 Olympics that were held in Germany, prior to the Berlin Wall coming down?

"It's a beautiful day here today, and we've just heard that the East German Pole Vaulting Champion is now the West German Pole Vaulting Champion!" 不

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My Uncle Bill was an Olympian.

One day, someone walked up to him and asked, in a foreign accent, 'Are you by any chance a Pole Vaulter?' To which he replied, testily, 'My name is not Walter, and no, I am not Polish!'

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Mariners had a language of their own ;

"Me and Willy were lollygagging by the scuttlebutt after being aloft to boy butter up the antennas and were just perched on a bollard eyeballing a couple of bilge rats and flangeheads using crescent hammers to pack monkey shit around a fitting on a handbilly.

All of a sudden the dicksmith started hard-assing one of the deck apes for lifting his pogey bait. The pecker-checker was a sewer pipe sailor and the deckape was a gator. Maybe being blackshoes on a bird farm surrounded by a gaggle of cans didn't set right with either of those gobs.

The deck ape ran through the nearest hatch and dogged it tight because he knew the penis machinist was going to lay below, catch him between decks and punch in the snot locker. He'd probably wind up on the binnacle list but Doc would find a way to gundeck the paper or give it the deep six to keep himself above board.

We heard the skivvywaver announce over the bitch box that the breadburners had creamed foreskins on toast (SOS) ready on the mess decks so we can cut and run to avoid the fustercluck and cannon cockers knew chow was on.

We were balls to the wall for the barn and everyone was preparing to hit the beach as soon as we doubled-up a threw over the brow. I had a ditty bag full of fufu juice that I was gonna spread on thick for the bar hogs with those sweet bosnias. Sure beats the hell out of brown bagging.

Might even hit the acey-deucy club and try to hook up with a wetpac widow. They were always leaving snail trails on the dance floor on amateur night."

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2 hours ago, Avoiceinthecrowd said:

Mariners had a language of their own ;

"Me and Willy were lollygagging by the scuttlebutt after being aloft to boy butter up the antennas and were just perched on a bollard eyeballing a couple of bilge rats and flangeheads using crescent hammers to pack monkey shit around a fitting on a handbilly.

All of a sudden the dicksmith started hard-assing one of the deck apes for lifting his pogey bait. The pecker-checker was a sewer pipe sailor and the deckape was a gator. Maybe being blackshoes on a bird farm surrounded by a gaggle of cans didn't set right with either of those gobs.

The deck ape ran through the nearest hatch and dogged it tight because he knew the penis machinist was going to lay below, catch him between decks and punch in the snot locker. He'd probably wind up on the binnacle list but Doc would find a way to gundeck the paper or give it the deep six to keep himself above board.

We heard the skivvywaver announce over the bitch box that the breadburners had creamed foreskins on toast (SOS) ready on the mess decks so we can cut and run to avoid the fustercluck and cannon cockers knew chow was on.

We were balls to the wall for the barn and everyone was preparing to hit the beach as soon as we doubled-up a threw over the brow. I had a ditty bag full of fufu juice that I was gonna spread on thick for the bar hogs with those sweet bosnias. Sure beats the hell out of brown bagging.

Might even hit the acey-deucy club and try to hook up with a wetpac widow. They were always leaving snail trails on the dance floor on amateur night."

Has yo bin tekkin' elocution lessons? at the Arthur Mullard Academy for talkin' proper like!

download(2).jpg.25effff64b353bc6474bbca7f8550fef.jpg

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8 hours ago, webtrekker said:

Anyone remember the 1972 Olympics that were held in Germany, prior to the Berlin Wall coming down?

"It's a beautiful day here today, and we've just heard that the East German Pole Vaulting Champion is now the West German Pole Vaulting Champion!" 不

I remember the day the wall came down, my Trabant had hardly any damage done to it at all!

download(75).jpg.9087e2ba1529418fd48fd54802753d55.jpg

The fourteen people hiding in the boot shit themselves though!五

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Posted (edited)
2 hours ago, wagdog19 said:

Just looked at that, and noticed an ad for PETER HITCHINS blog, it's only my opinion, but, he's a tosser! First off during the scamdemic he was imploring people NOT TO TAKE THE JAB, and then suddenly in a complete about turn he took it himself! I'm of the opinion that I can NEVER trust nor ever forgive anyone who can shift from one extreme to the other just like that! I forget which site he was on at that time, but, it was taken down for a day or two and then reappeared in a much tamer format, they were definately 'got at' by blackmail or some other type of threat! A cardboard hero in my own opinion!尹Rant over!

Edited by Mr Crabtree
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Posted (edited)
On 5/16/2024 at 7:30 AM, Mr Crabtree said:

I'm of the opinion that I can NEVER trust nor ever forgive anyone who can shift from one extreme to the other just like that!

I encountered a dude in the english section of the Pravda website discussion forum said he believed the moonlandings, then said he didn't anymore then said he believed it again 不Thank goodness he was afforded the luxury of oscillating so much without risking personal injury or death.

Edited by Avoiceinthecrowd
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A few Musician jokes ...

How can you tell there's a singer at your door?
They forgot the key and they don't know when to come in!

What's the definition of perfect pitch?
When the banjo lands in the exact center of the dumpster

How do you get two oboe players to play in tune?
Shoot one of them.

What's the definition of a semitone?
Two oboists playing in unison.

How many trumpet players does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one, but there are three more standing by thinking, "I can do it better."

What do you get if you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
A Flat miner.

What's the difference between a drummer and a pizza?
A pizza feeds a family of four.

What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?
A drummer.

What did the drummer get on his IQ test?
Drool.

What's the difference between a saxophone and a chainsaw?
Vibrato.

What is the difference between an accordion and a trampoline?
You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline.

What is the definition of an optimist?
An accordion player with a pager.

What's the difference between a dead snake in the road and a dead accordion player in the road?
The snake might have been on its way to a gig.

What do you call a musician with no girlfriend?
Homeless.

How can you tell when the stage is level?
The drummer is drooling out of both sides of his mouth.

How do you know when there's a drummer knocking on your door?
The knocking keeps speeding up and they don't know when to come in.

How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, the keyboardist can do it with one hand.

Find the one that doesn't fit:

  1. The Easter Bunny
  2. An accordion player with a credit card
  3. Salvador Dali

Answer: c. Salvador Dali. He's dead but at least he's real.

What's the difference between an accordion and a concertina?
An accordion takes longer to burn.

How do you make a guitarist play quietly?
Put sheet music in front of him.

Did you hear about the bass player who locked his keys in the car?
It took him an hour to get the drummer out.

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Honestly, do we have to spell it out?

2.12 PIPE
  1. All pipe is be the very best quality, preferably tubular or pipular, is to be hollow throughout the entire length and is to be made of long hole, surrounded by metal centered around the hole. Certification must be provided to the Engineer that in all cases, the O.D. of pipe will exceed the I.D. to avoid the hole being on the outside.
  2. All pipe is to be supplied to the jobsite free of rust, as this can be more readily applied at the jobsite and is to be cleaned free of covering such as mud, tar, barnacles or any form of manure before installation to prevent lumps under the paint.
  3. All pipe over 500 feet in length must have the words "Long Pipe" clearly painted on each end so that the Mechanical Contractor will know it is a long pipe. Pipe over 1000 feet in length must also have these words painted in the middle so that the Mechanical Contractor will not have to walk the full length of the pipe to determine if it is a long pipe or not.
  4. All pipe over six inches in diameter is to have the words "Large Pipe" painted on it, so that the Mechanical Contractor will not use it for small pipe."

O.D. and I.D. being, of course, outer diameter and inner diameter.

This was taken from a scan of a document marked as follows:

Mechanical and Electrical Room Building Addition
Eaton Corporation - Semiconductor Equipment Operations

108 Cherry Hill Drive, Beverly, Massachusetts

It was found on pages 18 and 19 of the Mechanical Systems Specifications.

1/15/98

Allied Consulting Project # 7044

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8 hours ago, Avoiceinthecrowd said:

IMG-20200111-WA0000.jpg.cb9cfd3731bb05486f552e99387f4199.jpg

My old neighbour Mr Patel, who was also our local postman, { the local kids all called him 'Postman Pate'} used to take Pedigree Chum sarnies to work on a daily basis!

I said to him that eating dog meat would eventually kill him off, but he just laughed and said that his own dog 'Cabbage the Cauli' { don't ask'} looked well enough and he'd eaten the meat every day for years!Anyway, we moved to a different area a few months later, but eighteen months later I spotted his wife coming out of our local bookies and we had a chance to catch up over a cup of coffee, I should have bought two, but money was tight back then! I asked how her husband was keeping? and she told me that he'd died three months after we'd moved!咯I said 'was it eating that dog food that killed him then'? She said' no, what happened was, he was chasing a cat, suddenly stopped in the middle of the middle of the road, to lick his arse and bollocks and a coach full of Jehovah's witnesses on the way to a 'specialised door knocking' course' in Malvern went straight over him'!咯Apparently the police took the driver to court, but he had 52 witnesses who swore there was nothing he could have done to avoid the accident! I said how sorry I was and asked if he was buried locally? she said no, he'd always wanted to be buried back home where he came from, and I said to her that if I ever visited Smethwick I'd pop into the cemetery and visit his grave!

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