Jump to content

A HUMOUR THREAD


Guest Gone Fishing...

Recommended Posts

When I lived in Wales I had a secret affair that produced a son who I never got to see, forty years later it came back to bite me on the bum big style, when his solicitor tracked me down and demanded16 years of child support back pay off me! Truthfully, I can't even see any familial likeness between us, so, no offence to Shaun, but should I demand a DNA test?

lambo.jpg.fb1f026d9c7236b73cff8fcabcebc908.jpg         taff.jpg.cf9dd84b2f927526d6058e1d3c126423.jpg

Edited by Mr Crabtree
  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

11 minutes ago, Mr Crabtree said:

When I lived in Wales I had a secret affair that produced a son who I never got to see, forty years later it came back to bite me on the bum big style, when his solicitor tracked me down and demanded16 years of child support back pay off me! Truthfully, I can't even see any familial likeness between us, so, no offence to Shaun, but should I demand a DNA test?

lambo.jpg.4abc53f006ef5654ef83d5d0f63c89c4.jpg

 

No familial likeness? Maybe so, but it's obvious your Shaun took the Jibby-jabs!

 

 

 

  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

49 minutes ago, webtrekker said:

 

No familial likeness? Maybe so, but it's obvious your Shaun took the Jibby-jabs!

 

 

 

I thought that too, but according to his solicitors, 'Grabbem, Squeezem and Milkem, I have no parental right to ask about that! I never took the jab because we have enough pricks in our government without having any pricks in my arm as well! 

  • Haha 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

When our kids were young, I did my best to make our home as childproof as possible, and STILL the little bastards got back in!🫣

'I no longer see my wife and four kids, due to my gambling'! 'Sorry to hear that'! No, it's alright with me, I won the lottery and fucked off with the money!🤫

Warwick Davis is having a rough time of it, I just saw him outside Brighton station selling 'The Little Issue'!🤭 He told a policeman that someone had stolen his cash box, then he said 'and believe me, I am not Happy'🤨 to which the policeman replied 'OH, so which one ARE you then'?🫣

It's sad that his wife recently died, but, this will be the one time that the media won't tell us that someone as well known as she was 'Died After A Short Illness'!🤔

I used to have a three bedroomed house, a wife, two kids, a decent car and a job that paid enough to get by, and then I got involved with drugs, Now, I have a big Yacht and my own private island!👍

My uncle Bill was the sort of man who'd light up any room he walked into, sadly he's now in Broadmoor after his latest arson attack!😝

How many Paranoid schizophrenics does it take to change a light bulb? 'WHY? WHO WANT'S TO KNOW'?🤔

 

  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's sad to hear that a seven year old girl died today trying to cross the channel to England, however, an unconfirmed report say's that her fifty year old husband made it to the shore O.K.!

Well that's the last time I go on a gay pride march, I ended up getting bummed by several lions!🥴

My girlfriend said 'I think I've got a stone in my left shoe'? I said 'yeah? well you must have the other seventeen stone in your right shoe then'!🤭

The local Paranoid Schizophrenic Society held their first Pantomime last Christmas, everyone enjoyed it, until someone shouted 'he's behind you'! then three hundred people cleared that theatre within thirty seconds!🤭

Did you know that America's second least favourite vegetable is the Brussel sprout? The top least favourite vegetable is JOE BIDEN!👎

I was so proud the day I met the front man for 'Take That' and we shared some fruity biscuits'! Garibaldi? No, it's pronounced Gary Barlow you dumb cunt!🤭

My neighbour's son is very annoyed because they've promoted a midget where he works to become 'Manager', he told me 'he's already got a big head and now he'll be even worse'!

Edited by Mr Crabtree
  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...