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There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:

  1. He called everyone brother

  2. He liked Gospel

  3. He didn't get a fair trial

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:

  1. He went into His Father's business

  2. He lived at home until he was 33

  3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother

was sure He was God

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:

  1. He talked with His hands

  2. He had wine with His meals

  3. He used olive oil

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian :

  1. He never cut His hair

  2. He walked around barefoot all the time

  3. He started a new religion

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian :

  1. He was at peace with nature

  2. He ate a lot of fish

  3. He talked about the Great Spirit

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:

  1. He never got married.

  2. He was always telling stories.

  3. He loved green pastures.

But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus was a woman:

  1. She fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was virtually no food

  2. She kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it

  3. And even when She was dead, She had to get up because there was still work to do

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Perhaps Jesus was an Englishman too: 

 

He told us to say sorry all the time (for our sins) 

He ruled the waves (and calmed the storm) 

He healed the sick for free at the point of delivery (like the NHS). 

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3 hours ago, Campion said:

Perhaps Jesus was an Englishman too: 

 

He told us to say sorry all the time (for our sins) 

He ruled the waves (and calmed the storm) 

He healed the sick for free at the point of delivery (like the NHS). 

I do know that Big J  was still a virgin when he died, because his mate Peter said Jesus took many women to bed, but every time he touched their lady parts they healed up!🤫 That's probably where the expression 'Jesus wept' came from!🤔

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2 hours ago, Screamingeagle said:

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

Only takes one nail to hang the picture.

Jesus walked into a Travelodge, threw a box of large nails on the reception desk and said 'Can you put me up for the night'?🤔

 

 

Jesus was on the cross and Pete said 'how are you Lord'? Jesus mumbled something but Peter could'nt make out what it was, so he went down to B and Q and bought a long ladder, set it against the cross and climbed up to Jesus. 'Sorry Lord, I didn't get that, what did you say'?🤔 Jesus replied 'I was just saying Peter that I can see your house from up here'!😉 Peter said I can't stay long Lord, Judas has just come into some unexpected cash and he's throwing a party for the lads tonight!👍 'The wine will be flowing like water tonight, pity you won't be there or otherwise the water could have been flowing like wine, d'yer get that one?'🤭 Jesus replied, 'Peter go forth and multiple'! I suspect what he really meant was 'Peter, go and get fucked'!😇

Edited by Mr Crabtree
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2 hours ago, Mr Crabtree said:

Jesus walked into a Travelodge, threw a box of large nails on the reception desk and said 'Can you put me up for the night'?🤔

 

 

                                                                                         UPDATE

                                                                  ----------------------------------------

There were NO rooms available, unfortunately SERCO had taken the last 20 rooms for some unexpected visitors from abroad who'd come over' 'NOT TO CELEBRATE OUR RELIGOUS TRADITIONS'!  Who'd a thunk it?🤫

 

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9 minutes ago, Mr Crabtree said:

For a laugh I googled 'Medieval servant  boy' and the results came up 'THIS PAGE COULD NOT BE FOUND'!🤔 A week late I found him myself, hanging around outside 'THE HOUSE OF LORDS'🤫

 

download(67).jpg.029e3ebf417345ce125af5a0e80a314f.jpg

 

 

Haha! The old, 'Page not found' joke! 🤣

 

 

 

Strange, though, this is the result I got ...

 

 

 

 

2024-04-06_01-17-15.png.e966fac840c89771fc73663d70ef8f2b.png

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We used to have a little cat we called 'Butter' because he was a sort of pale yellow colour, images(1).jpg.7552a1b68dcca0769cec3a53194b346e.jpgone day when he was about six he met his end under the wheels of a 69 bus😳

When my brother came home from school our mam told him the news and he burst into tears, not a very grown up way for a headteacher to act at all really!😲

Luckily our neighbour, a lovely lady called Mrs Parry had a cat that had recently had another litter and there was a very similar kitten in the litter, so we bought it and took it home, my brother was so excited, and took to the little tyke like a duck to water!👍 That little kitten had exactly the same mannerisms as poor old 'Butter' used to have, in fact my brother often used to say 'I can't believe it's not 'Butter'!🤭

images(1).jpg.7552a1b68dcca0769cec3a53194b346e.jpg

Edited by Mr Crabtree
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1 hour ago, Mr Crabtree said:

We used to have a little cat we called 'Butter' because he was a sort of pale yellow colour, images(1).jpg.7552a1b68dcca0769cec3a53194b346e.jpgone day when he was about six he met his end under the wheels of a 69 bus😳

When my brother came home from school our mam told him the news and he burst into tears, not a very grown up way for a headteacher to act at all really!😲

Luckily our neighbour, a lovely lady called Mrs Parry had a cat that had recently had another litter and there was a very similar kitten in the litter, so we bought it and took it home, my brother was so excited, and took to the little tyke like a duck to water!👍 That little kitten had exactly the same mannerisms as poor old 'Butter' used to have, in fact my brother often used to say 'I can't believe it's not 'Butter'!🤭

images(1).jpg.7552a1b68dcca0769cec3a53194b346e.jpg

 

 

 

So what did you end up calling it? Marge? 🤣

 

 

 

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Wish I could afford one of these ...

 

 

 

When I broke a finger, I asked the doctor if it would have any effect on me being able to play this. He said, 'Cant see why not,' which was great news, seeing as I could never play one before! 🤣

 

 

 

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