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A HUMOUR THREAD


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10 hours ago, Mr Crabtree said:

I was sixteen in 1964 and back then I was making £70.00 a week for working 2 minutes a day!🤨 The chap across the road from me paid me a tenner a day just to start his car for him so that it was already running by the time he came out of his house, he said it helped him enormously with his busy schedule! He was a smiling faced Irishman, who I later discovered was actually an IRA supergrass hiding out under a false name in the witness protection scheme! He disappeared one day, and unfortunately, so did my tenner a day!🫣

Thinking back, his name should have warned me that he was a bit dodgy to say the least, 'Rick O'Shay' ? really?🤭

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 6/5/2023 at 9:30 AM, bamboozooka said:

cracks me up everytime

 

 

On 5/31/2023 at 10:30 PM, wideawake said:

Here is a joke for you:

2 ladies get in on an elevator and one started sniffing and asked her lady friend: ''Don't you think it smells like sex in here''?
Her friend apologized saying: Oops, sorry I burped.  🤣🤣

Lady to dentist, 'I really don't know which is worse, having fillings or having a baby'? Dentist to lady in chair, 'well, make your mind up so that I can adjust the chair'! 🫢

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They've decided to re-name 'This Morning' to 'This Mourning' in memory of a former presenter and thoroughly nice guy who is unfortunately no longer with us! Gordon the Gopher is being brought in to handle the tributes and enquiries centred around the beloved and highly respected restaurant critic who will be sadly missed by me, but, I will have the sights re-adjusted on the sniper rifle and try again!👍

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A man falls asleep for hours tanning on the beach, wakes up in pain burnt from head to toe and needs to see a doctor for his second degree burns.
The doctor prescribes remedies, pain killers and to take 1 viagra every 4 hours.
Puzzled, the nurse asked how viagra can help him.
Dr. says '' it'll at least keep the blankets away from his body''.  😂

Edited by wideawake
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I found out a bit of family history the other day, it appears that my great grandmother actually went down in history whilst still at school, and, she also gave several hand jobs during Maths and geography as well😉, what a sport 'eh?🤫 This one lad took the piss, and she said, 'take the piss out of me again, and you're geography'! He smirked and said 'do yer mean I'm history'?🤨 She said 'Don't try and change the subject'!🤭

Edited by Mr Crabtree
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