Mr Crabtree Posted March 26 Share Posted March 26 I went into the bakery and asked for an uncut loaf, the lady said 'we haven't got any bread, only muffins'! I said 'what's the difference'? She said 'There's two ff's in muffins, but no f in bread'! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alexa Posted March 26 Share Posted March 26 Sandy Hook Funniest Videos https://153news.net/watch_video.php?v=R75YHRMNRKD3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alexa Posted March 26 Share Posted March 26 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bamboozooka Posted March 26 Share Posted March 26 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moonlight Posted March 26 Share Posted March 26 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted March 26 Share Posted March 26 4 hours ago, Moonlight said: Liquorice stick anyone? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted March 26 Share Posted March 26 (edited) I was reading that they've just opened the first Disneyland theme park in Japan, what a waste of money that was, there's no one tall enough to go on any of the rides! They won't allow me on the rides, and now the seagulls have nicked the ice cream off my cone! Edited March 26 by Mr Crabtree Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted March 27 Share Posted March 27 (edited) My brother married a really miserable woman, he said 'I can make you happy, if you'll marry me, we'll get married in a real castle! They got married in a castle, but when a gang of little kids got in and started bouncing around she asked the attendant to help her to get out and find her shoes for her! He had a two week honeymoon in Benidorm and a few weeks later he found out that she was pregnant I said' I told you at the time, you should have taken her to Benidorm with you! He now thinks she's selling drugs from home while he's down the pub, I said 'why would you think that'? He said 'I was a bit late going out last night, she was in the bedroom rubbing 'Oil of Ugly' into her face and her phone rang so I answered it, and some bloke said it's only me, has the dope gone yet'? He was moaning the other day about not even being allowed to give the kids a little smack these days, like about two grammes worth just to get them to sleep'! His little girl said 'Dad, give me a tenner and I'll tell you who sleeps with mum when you're away driving your truck'! He gave her the tenner and asked who it was? She said 'it's me dad, I'm off down the shop to get some sweets, thanks for the tenner'! He asked his wife what she wanted most of all for her birthday? She said 'a divorce' and he said 'well, I wasn't thinking of spending that sort of money'! About three months after they got married she said to him 'I've got something to tell you, before I met you, I used to be a hooker'! He said 'Ooohh tell me more, this is turning me on' She said 'well my name was Nigel, and I used to play rugby for Wigan'! Edited March 27 by Mr Crabtree Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wingwang Posted March 28 Share Posted March 28 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bamboozooka Posted March 29 Share Posted March 29 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bamboozooka Posted March 29 Share Posted March 29 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EnigmaticWorld Posted April 1 Share Posted April 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wingwang Posted April 1 Share Posted April 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted April 1 Share Posted April 1 1 hour ago, wingwang said: I bet she's served some shit meals in her time! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted April 1 Share Posted April 1 (edited) On 3/29/2023 at 3:11 PM, bamboozooka said: What's this? a remake of 'Dumb And Dumber'? Or, is it 'The Three Stooges'? Edited April 1 by Mr Crabtree Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bamboozooka Posted April 2 Share Posted April 2 14 hours ago, Mr Crabtree said: What's this? a remake of 'Dumb And Dumber'? Or, is it 'The Three Stooges'? whoever writes the dialogue then puts it in a voice ai, and ai creates the voices. pretty scary really,but theres loads of these vids and they are so funny 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted April 2 Share Posted April 2 Tippex was invented in 1951 by Bette Nesmith Graham an American lady, Correct me if I'm wrong! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EnigmaticWorld Posted April 3 Share Posted April 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bamboozooka Posted April 3 Share Posted April 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oneantisworthtenofyou Posted April 4 Share Posted April 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr H Posted April 7 Share Posted April 7 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr H Posted April 7 Share Posted April 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr H Posted April 8 Share Posted April 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted April 8 Share Posted April 8 (edited) I was casually chatting to a group of people the other day, when this tall gawky bloke said 'Why do you always litter your conversations with swear words, you literally swamp your observations with words that belong in the gutter to be honest, WHY'? I soon gave this twat his answer 'Listen vicar, you knob head, they may be swear words as far as you're concerned, but to me they are merely conversation enhancers, O.K. '? He looked at me and then slowly shook his head, smiled and said 'Fuck me, you're right, I've never fucking thought of it like that before, thanks a fucking bunch for clearing that shit up for me, conversation enhances 'eh?, that's the dog's bollocks mate'! YOU WANNA TRY THIS COMMUNAL WINE Mr CRABTREE, IT'S AS DRY AS A NUN'S TIT! Edited April 8 by Mr Crabtree 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wingwang Posted April 12 Share Posted April 12 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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