DaleP Posted March 1 Share Posted March 1 https://imgur.com/gallery/EysrZRB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted March 4 Share Posted March 4 (edited) Edited March 4 by Mr Crabtree Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted March 4 Share Posted March 4 5 hours ago, Mr Crabtree said: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moonlight Posted March 5 Share Posted March 5 Prince William "We are very much not a racist family". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted March 5 Share Posted March 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted March 5 Share Posted March 5 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted March 6 Share Posted March 6 (edited) No family loyalty here then?, Goat Legged Lizzie and Phil The Duck are 'brown bread' and now 'King Big Flaps' is flexing his muscles and gritting his teeth! The 'Clown Prince' is led away under escort to be 'Thrown Under The Bus'! 'Prince Pinocchio' gave a final statement to the baying crowd 'Royal subjects, Plebs and Commoners, I am clearly an honest man, and I say to you now, I am being Throw under the bus, this is NOT the sort of Throne I envisaged after Mummy cleared my name of all wrongdoing! Infamy, Infamy, my brother 'Loppylugs' clearly has it in for me, he's playing a real life version of 'Game Of Thrones' and I am but a mere Pawn'! A wag in the crowd shouted 'Yeah right, you're as pure as the driven snow, did you mean PRAWN? because there's something very fishy about you, pizza boy'! That unfortunately was as far as I got because the alarm clock woke me up and it was time to get back to the real world! Edited March 6 by Mr Crabtree Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted March 9 Share Posted March 9 I just called the Tinnitus helpline, no one answered, it just kept ringing! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted March 9 Share Posted March 9 Sheep bleating about a system they allowed to happen, but did nothing about it, and now wished they had! Leila Pryor of Corfe Mullen having a moan up about the new 'intrusive' lights keeping the village awake ever night! I can't be arsed writing any more about twats like her, end of moan! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaleP Posted March 9 Share Posted March 9 On 3/6/2023 at 2:00 PM, Mr Crabtree said: No family loyalty here then?, Goat Legged Lizzie and Phil The Duck are 'brown bread' and now 'King Big Flaps' is flexing his muscles and gritting his teeth! The 'Clown Prince' is led away under escort to be 'Thrown Under The Bus'! 'Prince Pinocchio' gave a final statement to the baying crowd 'Royal subjects, Plebs and Commoners, I am clearly an honest man, and I say to you now, I am being Throw under the bus, this is NOT the sort of Throne I envisaged after Mummy cleared my name of all wrongdoing! Infamy, Infamy, my brother 'Loppylugs' clearly has it in for me, he's playing a real life version of 'Game Of Thrones' and I am but a mere Pawn'! A wag in the crowd shouted 'Yeah right, you're as pure as the driven snow, did you mean PRAWN? because there's something very fishy about you, pizza boy'! That unfortunately was as far as I got because the alarm clock woke me up and it was time to get back to the real world! I'm surprised he is still 8th in line. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted March 9 Share Posted March 9 3 hours ago, DaleP said: I'm surprised he is still 8th in line. Mate, I genuinely think he should be first in line! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted March 9 Share Posted March 9 Just now, Mr Crabtree said: Mate, I genuinely think he should be first in line! First in line for the firing squad I mean! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted March 10 Share Posted March 10 12 hours ago, Mr Crabtree said: First in line for the firing squad I mean! Never mind though, it could be worse, IF he'd been born with a brain he could have turned out to be dangerous1 But fortunately enough he wasn't. if brains were made of dynamite he wouldn't have enough to blow his hat off! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frankieboy Posted March 10 Share Posted March 10 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wingwang Posted March 11 Share Posted March 11 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted March 13 Share Posted March 13 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frankieboy Posted March 14 Share Posted March 14 World gone Mad at least MIKE is doing Ok Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted March 16 Share Posted March 16 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howard Posted March 17 Share Posted March 17 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted March 20 Share Posted March 20 (edited) My fellow Americans, we're gathered here tonight to investigate whether I just ordered a double cone vanilla ice cream with extra sprinkles? or whether I ordered a nuclear missile attack on Moss Cow? We should get in touch with our President, who's ermm, who's name escapes me right now, does anyone know his name'? 'Sir, his name is Joe Biden Sir'! 'Really? wow, how spooky is that? I think my name is Joe Biden too, although the name sewn into my boxers say's 'Primark' for some unknown reason? Joe Biden 'eh? wow, that is one heck of a coincidence, two Joe Bidens, one loves ice cream, and the other one loves world peace, how random is that'? To finish off tonight I'd like to tell you a little joke, The actress said to the Bishop, errm, no, hang on, the Bishop said to the actress, err errmm, no, that's not right either, I'll get back to you on that one, whatever they said to each other was damned funny anyway, I laughed so much I shit my boxers! No, wait it wasn't a Bishop and an actress, it was Vladimir Putin who said to Donald Trump, ermm, err, shit, it's gone again, but take my word for it, it was damned funny anyhow! HOW'S ABOUT THAT THEN VLAD? DONNIE, YOU ARE ABOUT AS FUNNY AS SYPHILIS! SEE, I TOLD YER SO! Edited March 20 by Mr Crabtree Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaleP Posted March 22 Share Posted March 22 A dog on skateboard. https://imgur.com/gallery/wd69JXr Dog naps through rain leaving outline on pavement. https://imgur.com/gallery/Jfbq1ss Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaleP Posted March 22 Share Posted March 22 Incredible invention. Timestamped https://youtu.be/j4mKGgjPWEw?t=80s Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alexa Posted March 24 Share Posted March 24 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alexa Posted March 24 Share Posted March 24 Watch out today Out of this world: TikTok 'time traveller' claims the earth will be invaded by aliens with 8,000 abducted A 'time-traveller' on TikTik claims that aliens will invade earth today, abducting 8,000 people. Eno Alaric claims to be from the year 2671, and frequently posts predictions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted March 25 Share Posted March 25 (edited) An old man in a dirty and stained Mac, hired a prostitute and took her back to his house, led her up stairs, told her to strip naked and then climb onto the wardrobe! she did so and then, when she looked down, the old man had taken off his 'flasher Mac' and was laying naked on the bed! She said 'you don't want me to jump on top of you do you? I might kill you at your age! He said 'no, what I want is you to reach out your left leg, flick the light switch on and off rapidly, whilst banging your right heel every five seconds against the wardrobe door and you'll find a bucket of water next to you, keep flicking the water at me please'! She said 'are you taking the piss? you've paid me a hundred pounds to do that?, are you totally mad'? He said 'no dear, the water being flicked on me remind me of a wet and stormy night, when I was a kid, the light going on and off, on and off, reminds me of the lightning, and the drumming on the wardrobe door reminds me of the thunder'! She said 'well aren't you gonna give me one to get your money's worth'? He said 'What? on a night like this? you gotta be joking, I'd catch Pneumonia at my age'! The same' lady of horizontal refreshment' was talking to me in a pub one night and she said 'you see that old codger there? he's 91, and every month he gives me a hundred pounds cash to give him a very quick handjob, and then he hits me with his walking stick for a while'! I said 'a while? how long does he hit you for'? She said 'only until I give him his hundred pounds back'! Edited March 25 by Mr Crabtree Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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