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A HUMOUR THREAD


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20 hours ago, The All Eye said:

When your mom's thirsty she reaches for a cold can of...

 

4ac2c012-1066-4677-b518-9f5ad34f78cd_3008x4000.webp

There's a few deposits for the sperm bank there, make a small deposit now and watch it increase over the next nine months! I wasn't allowed to show my latest idea on Dragons Den, I had the idea to produce condoms with two pounds worth of loose coins in the bottom, on the premise that 'If you can't cum, then at least you can do the decent thing and phone'!😉

Edited by Mr Crabtree
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I don't know why this bit of trivia I recently stumbled across made me laugh. It did though, Maybe I am just a bad numnuts. 🙂

 

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Helen_Mirren#Personal_life

 

'In a 2008 interview with GQ, Mirren revealed she was date raped as a student, and had often taken cocaine at parties in her twenties and until the 1980s. She stopped using it after reading that Klaus Barbie made a living from cocaine dealing.'

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7 hours ago, wingwang said:

May be an image of 2 people and text that says "CHER R MADONNA TOUR DATES TO BE ANNOUNCED "2023"

You think that this is funny do you? Well I don't! NO, I think it's highly hilarious, has she had the new 'Flat Shovel plastic surgery' that's all the rage at the moment?

They pour lighter fluid on your face, light it, let it simmer for a minute or two, then smash the flames out with a large, flat shovel! It's in the early stages yet,

download(24).jpg.7f1c726a40b0637b07ab6c0d3178b3eb.jpg although they hit this one a little too hard!download(25).jpg.c13b3e308ab09be45836a676861696d0.jpg

 

download (23).jpg

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Off-topic, but someone might be interested ...

 

That image you posted is of an unrolled texture map for a 3D head model. I used a similar image for a Halloween trick. You simply print the image and roll it to fit in a glass or plastic jar and stick it in the fridge. Looks great!

 

download(25).jpg.c13b3e308ab09be45836a676861696d0.jpg.9c883f32acec61d2d1b64c1a453f941b.jpg

 

 

index.jpg.10eebcbce5594d63d7f26f0d60771f39.jpg

 

 

 

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23 hours ago, Mr Crabtree said:
On 2/12/2023 at 2:25 AM, wingwang said:

You think that this is funny do you? Well I don't! NO, I think it's highly hilarious, has she had the new 'Flat Shovel plastic surgery' that's all the rage at the moment?

 

Reminds me of that old song ...

 

Never Hit Your Grandma With A Shovel, It Leaves A Bad Impression On Her Mind!

 

 

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On 2/12/2023 at 11:19 AM, webtrekker said:

Off-topic, but someone might be interested ...

 

That image you posted is of an unrolled texture map for a 3D head model. I used a similar image for a Halloween trick. You simply print the image and roll it to fit in a glass or plastic jar and stick it in the fridge. Looks great!

 

download(25).jpg.c13b3e308ab09be45836a676861696d0.jpg.9c883f32acec61d2d1b64c1a453f941b.jpg

 

 

index.jpg.10eebcbce5594d63d7f26f0d60771f39.jpg

 

 

 

Too good not to give it a go, so I did, and then asked my wife's friend to get me the goat milk out of the fridge!😳🥴😠 It's really surprising how creative with words someone can get when they suddenly find a decapitated head staring out of a jar just inside the fridge! There was one problem though, my printer had packed up, so I had to use fresh, but, no problem, I've never liked that tosser next door much anyway, and it's so much quieter now he doesn't come home at 03.00 revving that feckin' motorbike! His mother thinks he's pulled a girl somewhere and he'll be back home when he runs out of steam, money, or just gets bored!👍🤭🤫 

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A lady went out for a spin in her new car, two hours later, she rang her husband at home and said 'I'm in trouble'! He said 'calm down, calm down' { he was a Scouser🤭} 'what's happened'? he asked. She said 'I went around a corner down a country lane, and killed a pig standing in the middle of the road, what shall I do'? He said 'is there a ditch at the side of the road'? She said 'No, just lots of bushes' he said 'did anyone see you'? she said 'no' He said 'well drag the pig into the bushes and then phone me back'🥴 Five minutes later she rang back and said 'I've done that, just one more small problem now, what do I do with his speed gun and his motorbike'?🤔😳

Edited by Mr Crabtree
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On 2/12/2023 at 10:02 AM, Mr Crabtree said:

You think that this is funny do you? Well I don't! NO, I think it's highly hilarious, has she had the new 'Flat Shovel plastic surgery' that's all the rage at the moment?

They pour lighter fluid on your face, light it, let it simmer for a minute or two, then smash the flames out with a large, flat shovel! It's in the early stages yet,

download(24).jpg.7f1c726a40b0637b07ab6c0d3178b3eb.jpg although they hit this one a little too hard!download(25).jpg.c13b3e308ab09be45836a676861696d0.jpg

 

download (23).jpg

 

https://imgur.com/gallery/ln13H70

😁

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