Mr Crabtree Posted January 23 Share Posted January 23 On 1/21/2023 at 11:09 PM, webtrekker said: As if we haven't enough to worry about bloody TikTok is now telling me I am supposed to WASH my jamas! Whatever next! Underpants? Socks? Body? ... When I was on the Brighton and Hove Environmental Services Pest Control Team a very posh, and very shapely lady opened the front door in her skimpy nightie, I thought 'Wow, now THAT is a strange place to have a door'!Whilst I'm about it, a man knocked the front door and the lady of the house who was drying herself after a shower said 'who is it'? The man shouted through the letter box 'It's just the blind man madam' She thought 'O.K. he won't know I'm naked then' and opened the door, to a man with a smile as big as Rishi Sunak's bank account who said her 'good morning madam, where do you want me to put these blinds'? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moonlight Posted January 23 Share Posted January 23 fashion shop 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted January 23 Share Posted January 23 (edited) 3 hours ago, Moonlight said: fashion shop They have plans to expand their business, so, they could Be-Heading your way soon say's proprietor 'Jihadi John'! You have been warned! Edited January 23 by Mr Crabtree 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted January 23 Share Posted January 23 4 hours ago, Mr Crabtree said: They have plans to expand their business, so, they could Be-Heading your way soon say's proprietor 'Jihadi John'! You have been warned! 4 hours ago, Mr Crabtree said: They have plans to expand their business, so, they could Be-Heading your way soon say's proprietor 'Jihadi John'! You have been warned! they are headless, but you can view the heads if you put in a request to their head office!, ring up and ask to speak to the head men Mr Noggin or his head honcho Mr Bonce! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
screamingeagle Posted January 23 Share Posted January 23 gold,pure gold.... https://www.instagram.com/reel/CmTujXiPsHQ/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted January 24 Share Posted January 24 Whatever happened to white dogshit? When I was a kid it was a favourite pastime, walk up to a pile of the stuff, give it a hefty kick, and it would dissolve into a white cloud { usually all over your plimsoll }! Anyone remember the rope thrown over the arm of the old fashioned lamp post, and an old bike tyre tied to it as a seat? Knocking people's doors then running off? They still do that today, only now it's called Parcelforce! Long walks in the countryside with your mates, and a few slices of dry bread and a bottle of water was your 'picnic' Maybe a bit of dripping or lard smeared onto the bread if you were lucky, Jam was a rare luxury in those days! You'd all sit on a fallen tree trunk or canalside bank, eat your bread and pass the water along to the next kid after taking a deep swig yourself! By the time it reached the last kid it had turned into a stodgy bread soup with hardly any water content left! Then someone would be picked to go and knock on a cottage door and ask if they could top the bottle up with fresh water please? Several times we've been lucky and ended up with a freshly baked cake each, or even an apple or a pear each! Nobody wanted to carry the bottle, but everyone expect to be able to drink from it! Me and the kid next door had an old bike that we shared, and we'd take turns riding it whilst the other one held onto the saddle and ran alongside whoever was riding it! We all clubbed together on a Saturday morning to buy one ticket to the 'chum's club' at the local Plaza cinema, then someone would get the ticket and let the rest of us in through the emergency exit door in the gent's toilets! It was funny how one ticket could fill the entire back row of seats with eager young lads waiting to see Flash Gordon, Hopalong Cassidy, Roy Rogers, Batman, Zorro, etc. I personally loved 'The Bowery Boys' and Abbott and Costello, and when Roy Rogers sang to Dale Evans I could feel my tears welling up! I didn't know back then of course, that my hero Roy was a 32nd degree freemason, and his mate John Wayne was also a 32nd degree freemason too! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sickofallthebollocks Posted January 25 Share Posted January 25 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EnigmaticWorld Posted January 25 Share Posted January 25 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted January 25 Share Posted January 25 1 hour ago, EnigmaticWorld said: He was just Biden his time, he was probably humming that old Maurice Chevalier song 'Thank Heaven for little girls'! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted January 27 Share Posted January 27 (edited) First we were told to be worried about Monkey Pox, and now they've upped the ante to, wait for it, =SQUIRREL POX, it's now in Dumfries and Galloway! I can't wait for Tortoise Pox, if you see a tortoise coming towards you, you only have two hours to run away and avoid catching Tortoise Pox, you have been warned! Two hours to run away? that's what you think SUCKER! Parliament is meeting to discuss this latest threat following on from the Monkey Pox scare! Edited January 27 by Mr Crabtree 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sickofallthebollocks Posted January 27 Share Posted January 27 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdvaitaV Posted January 28 Share Posted January 28 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sFBOQzSk14c It used to be a sketch. Now it's reality in the Clown World.... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alexa Posted January 29 Share Posted January 29 https://153news.net/watch_video.php?v=DR28XNA9YOBA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sickofallthebollocks Posted January 30 Share Posted January 30 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
78ast78dgyad Posted January 31 Share Posted January 31 https://www.bitchute.com/video/3rhn8SDPj2H8/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nemuri Kyoshiro Posted February 1 Share Posted February 1 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sickofallthebollocks Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 *%!!~####** right in the pussy? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
78ast78dgyad Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moonlight Posted February 3 Share Posted February 3 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sickofallthebollocks Posted February 4 Share Posted February 4 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Talorgan Posted February 4 Share Posted February 4 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alexa Posted February 5 Share Posted February 5 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted February 5 Share Posted February 5 (edited) I used to go to 'Po Sing' the Chinese takeaway at the bottom road of our estate down by the big Lidl, him and his wife were really nice people and I was really sorry when they told me they were selling up and retiring, but they assured me the new owner had awards for his food and they recommended him as being worth using in the future! I asked what they were going to do about accommodation because their flat was above the shop? they said they were moving to Eastbourne because Brighton was getting a little rough these days and being pensioners they didn't need any hassle! A few weeks ago I took my car for a service in Eastbourne and having the morning to kill I caught a local bus to the town Centre, who did I meet in the Pound shop? Mr Po! I asked how retirement suited him? he said he was so fed up he's opened up a 'secondhand crows shop' I said 'do you mean clothes shop'? He said 'come with me, I ret you have a Rook'! He's lovely, isn't he? Mr Po also gave me a recipe for Mrs Po's favourite food, 'Chicken Go Ping' a very easy recipe, you put raw sliced chicken on a plate, put it in a microwave, set the cooking time, and when it's cooked 'Chicken Go Ping'! Edited February 5 by Mr Crabtree 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted February 5 Share Posted February 5 (edited) 20 hours ago, Talorgan said: About 4 fluid ounces give or take a kilometre or two, provided of course, it's a Wednesday! I lifted this answer from 2023 edition of 'Basic Math's For Dummies, the Woke edition'! Edited February 5 by Mr Crabtree 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The All Eye Posted February 6 Share Posted February 6 When your mom's thirsty she reaches for a cold can of... 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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