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A HUMOUR THREAD


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I went to a seventies theme night and was absolutely surprised, all the ladies were in their seventies, one woman was a stunning redhead, no hair, just a red head and she kept knocking people out!🤕 Her mate had long blonde hair all down her back, unfortunately there was none on her head, but loads of it all down her back! You could tell they were class straight away, all their tattoos were spelled correctly, even the love and hate ones tattooed on their knuckles had that air of perfection about them!

It cost fifteen quid to get in, or twenty pounds if you included a meal, I paid twenty and a little later a big lad minced over to my table and said 'Hi I'm Emile'!😳

When I got there the bouncer said 'have you got any offensive weapons on you'? I said 'no' he said, 'well there's a box full over there, pick yourself something'! I said to him, 'it's been years since I saw a bar with sawdust on the floor'! He said 'that's last night's furniture before the fight started'! I saw some rough, tough looking couples at the bar, with broken knuckles and scars, and some of their boyfriends looked like they could handle themselves too!😳

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Golden Retriever finds sex toy on walk and refuses to let it go

Ahsoka did not want to let go of the sex toy

 

Quote

A dog walker was left in fits of laughter after his pooch went to find a stick and instead came back with a sex toy. Ahsoka, a Golden Retriever, proudly brought the penis-shaped toy to her owner Manuel Barcia.

He was walking the 15-month-old dog on January 12 when she found the unusual item. Manuel said he burst into fits of laughter before realising he would have to somehow get it out of Ahsoka's mouth.

The 50-year-old university proffessor from Leeds said: "She's always carrying a stick, or something similar. Being a retriever she always brings sticks back, or rocks.

"She went off and found it in the long grass. When she came back, I couldn't believe it."

From: https://www.birminghammail.co.uk/black-country/golden-retriever-finds-sex-toy-25978133

 

Brings new meaning to the phrase "to give a dog a bone" 😆

 

 

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9 hours ago, BossCrow said:

Alfie The Odd Job Boy | Documentary

 

Thanks for that, I saw Alfie's vids some while back, he has several now, and he's on my favorite's on You Tube, I sent him a comment to say that as long as there were people like him, Britain wasn't quite 'Broken Britain' yet! I've watched the lad quite a few times now and he always makes me smile!

I suggested he got himself a Patreon page because a lad like him is worth investing in, just because he's so willing to try stuff!

Edited by Mr Crabtree
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28 minutes ago, Mr Crabtree said:

Thanks for that, I saw Alfie's vids some while back, he has several now, and he's on my favorite's on You Tube, I sent him a comment to say that as long as there were people like him, Britain wasn't quite 'Broken Britain' yet! I've watched the lad quite a few times now and he always makes me smile!

I suggested he got himself a Patreon page because a lad like him is worth investing in, just because he's so willing to try stuff!

Flicked through. This lad is why I love the North. Where's his new years honour.

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40 minutes ago, Mr Crabtree said:

I took my wife and her friend for tea and biscuits this morning, they got quite excited about it, I think it's probably natural though, because neither of them had ever given blood before!

 

I thought your wife is a jabbed. Giving blood? 😲

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7 hours ago, Moonlight said:

😄

 

 

324567983_394311249569232_7993955821413336275_n.jpg

524852073_download(10).jpg.90ca5f60e1a35e8f03f061a09e61591a.jpgMy first ever phone, I used to ring mom every day, however, when she moved to Australia I couldn't afford the big ball of string, so I got my first mobile phone! Taking it on the bus was an absolute nightmare!

1327287145_download(9).jpg.713e5dfd9d693f23fb2ec9cf09730ac3.jpg

Edited by Mr Crabtree
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On 1/4/2023 at 8:33 AM, Mr Crabtree said:

I was thinking the other day how much musical talent has been lost over the years! Take this thought as an example= Just imagine if Momma Cass had shared half her sarnies every day with Karen Carpenter, they might both still be alive today!🤔

Particularly the ham ones

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1 hour ago, numnuts said:

The internet is divided! 😲

 

 

https://www.ok.co.uk/lifestyle/pyjamas-not-washed-everyday-tiktok-29004132

 

'Woman leaves internet divided after admitting she doesn't wash pyjamas after every wear.'

 

 

As if we haven't enough to worry about bloody TikTok is now telling me I am supposed to WASH my jamas! Whatever next! Underpants? Socks? Body? ...

 

 

 

 

 

 

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5 hours ago, webtrekker said:

As if we haven't enough to worry about bloody TikTok is now telling me I am supposed to WASH my jamas! Whatever next! Underpants? Socks? Body?

 

If Jimmy Savile managed to do his underpants every night, then so can we. And he didn't even have a tumble dryer to fall back on.

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Tourists who paid £1.50 to visit UK's smallest house - just 72 inches wide and 122 inches tall - complain on TripAdvisor that it is too 'SMALL' 

66818829-0-image-a-22_1674317151898.jpg

Having visited The Smallest House, one tourist was astonished to find it in fact is 'a very small house'. Reviewers have been disappointed and have complained about the abode.

 

They'll be wanting a refund next :classic_laugh:

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