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A HUMOUR THREAD


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Red Indian boy to his father = 'Dad how do our tribe pick names for their children'? Dad = 'well son, we make love to our squaw, then leave the teepee by backing out of the door, then, we close our eyes, spin around six times, open our eyes and whatever is the first thing we see is the thing we name our kids after'!👍 Boy ='Is that why my sister is called 'Cool Water' and my brothers are called 'Painted Pony' and Running Wolf'? The fathered smiled at his little son and said = Yes, that's right, is there anything you'd like to know 'Broken Rubber'?😳

 

The last Japanese soldier to surrender after hiding in the Philippines until 1974 and his name was Hiroo Onada and interestingly enough he worked in Wuhan before entering the Imperial Japanese Army and was sent to Lubang Island, part of the Philippines, he didn't know the war had finished by 1945 and he took to the hills where he hid out until 1974 when the emperor of Japan sent Onado's old commanding officer to ask him to surrender and come back home to Japan. He died in Jan 2014 at the ripe old age of 91!

Apparently when he surrendered he was asked if he had any questions about the modern world he was about to return to? and he's supposedly said 'Yes, is Ken Barlow still in Coronation Street'?🤭

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It seems Ken was a fan of Japanese culture!🥴

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On 12/17/2022 at 8:16 PM, Nemuri Kyoshiro said:

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Poor women in those countries have to sneak about and risk death to be with someone they love, but over here is a 'different kettle of fish', no pun intended, the gay people over here have to push and push the envelope! Nothing is ever good enough for them, no matter how liberal people are towards them, they just have to push it even further! I'm sure ladies like those two above would swop their lives under that regime for life in this country, a country that actually furthers the gay agenda, when and wherever they can!

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2 hours ago, Nemuri Kyoshiro said:

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I loved Wales when I was a kid, I went to the local Plaza Cinema and watched the 1956 film 'Moby Dick' starring Gregory Peck and Orson Welles, 18 times! I remember Admiral Horatio Nelson saying to Captain Ahab 'watch what you're doing with that harpoon you daft twat, you could have some fucker's eye out with that'! My little girl friend Juanita from next door came with us, Juanita wasn't her real name, her real name was Mabel, but I called her 'Juanita' because she only had a single top tooth in her gob and it seemed quite a fitting name back then!😳

 

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3 hours ago, Nemuri Kyoshiro said:

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They should stick to fighting their wars in Hollyweird, they never lose there🤭 Vietnamese rice farmers with old bikes and even older weapons beat the shit out of the French in Indochina and in 1954 after a four month long siege, Dien Bein Phu fell to forces led by Ho Chi Minh the French left the area!  Thinking they could do better the Yanks sent in their forces, they in turn got their Arses kicked out on April the 30th 1975. So they sent the likes of Rambo to the film studios and did much better when they fought in movies than they did in reality! An added bonus was that they never accidently killed so many of their own forces in the films either! 

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99962723_download(1).jpg.928be94ef390ea4cfb4921a1c2ac7711.jpgThree of Stallone's most famous movies! The Americans like to think of themselves as the world's biggest peacekeepers, Personally I view them as the world's biggest terrorists!

 

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                                                                      WANTED

                                                            A GOOD WOMAN.

                                       MUST BE ABLE TO COOK, CLEAN,

                                       SEW, DIG WORMS AND CLEAN AND

                                      PREPARE FISH FOR THE TABLE.

                                      MUST HAVE A BOAT AND AN

                                                  OUTBOARD MOTOR.

                                           PLEASE SEND PICTURES OF

                                           THE BOAT AND THE MOTOR!

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My neighbour was up at the local hospital visiting someone and as he passed by an examination cubicle someone shouted out 'Allo Arfur, wot brings you up 'ere mate'? He looked into the cublicle and saw his old schoolmate Charlie sitting on a large pink beanbag. He said 'Wow Chas' he said 'what yer doing in 'ere mate'? Charlie winced and said 'I've got the worst case of Hemorrhoids they've ever seen in this hospital mate'! Arthur said 'is that why you're sitting on that beanbag Chas'? Charlie wince again and said 'It ain't no bean bag Arfur'!😳 Arthur said 'Wot they gonna do about it Chas'? And Chas said 'Apparently wot I got is called 'Atomic Piles' an' they reckon if I 'ave the operation terday, I can go 'ome this weekend with a new clear arsehole'!🤔🤭🤫

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