Steven Tansell Posted October 24, 2022 Share Posted October 24, 2022 (edited) I recently went to see 'The original Drifters' in concert, I was mildly disappointed to be honest They turned out to be a group of blokes in a leaky dinghy, and they couldn't even hold a tune together, their rendition of 'Under the boardwalk' left a lot to be desired! Edited October 24, 2022 by Steven Tansell Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
legion Posted October 25, 2022 Share Posted October 25, 2022 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steven Tansell Posted October 26, 2022 Share Posted October 26, 2022 I've been wondering? do you think acupuncture could cure 'pins and needles'? Also, if smoking is so bad for you, how come it cures kippers? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
webtrekker Posted October 27, 2022 Share Posted October 27, 2022 What if breast implants were made of maple or oak? That would be weird, wooden tit? So what if I can't spell Armmagedon... It's not the end of the world What if the real reason aliens don't visit us is because... ...we're a one star planet? What if they close grocery stores for COVID19.... .... we'll have to hunt for our food. I dont even know where Doritos live... What if this whole Global Warming thing doesn't happen? Boy, will that be anticlimatic! What if Erik the Red had been Erik the Green? Well... that would be a Norse of another colour. The bartenders says, 'We don't serve Time Traveller's in here.' A Time Traveller enters a bar. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steven Tansell Posted October 27, 2022 Share Posted October 27, 2022 (edited) A wig and a turd entered a bar, the wig ordered two double whiskies, but the barman refused to serve them, the turd demanded to know 'WHY'? The barman replied 'because you are steaming, and he' he said pointing to the wig, 'he is definately off his head'! A man in the pub said to his mate at the bar 'there's a dog in the garden with two arseholes'! His mate laughed, until he looked out of the window and saw Joe Biden and Donald Trump sitting on a bench with a Poodle on a lead! Edited October 27, 2022 by Steven Tansell 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sickofallthebollocks Posted October 27, 2022 Share Posted October 27, 2022 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
legion Posted October 27, 2022 Share Posted October 27, 2022 How dare she...!!!! 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
legion Posted October 27, 2022 Share Posted October 27, 2022 .....oh ffs ive got shadows dancing around in my peripheral vision :O( someone like one of my comments quickly - PLEASE !!! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
legion Posted October 27, 2022 Share Posted October 27, 2022 @Bombadil Saved by the Bomb :O) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
legion Posted October 27, 2022 Share Posted October 27, 2022 (edited) edit to add - by "this country" - l mean your average citizen - not the ruling war mongers Edited October 27, 2022 by legion 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kj35 Posted October 28, 2022 Share Posted October 28, 2022 (edited) How to avoid 'trick or treaters' this year Edited October 28, 2022 by kj35 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nemuri Kyoshiro Posted October 28, 2022 Share Posted October 28, 2022 And oldie but goodie. Back in 2013, Asiana flight 214 crashed in San Francisco airport. The news media were quick on the scene and contacted the NTSB for details. Someone pulled a joke on them and this was the actual TV broadcast: 2 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steven Tansell Posted October 28, 2022 Share Posted October 28, 2022 A few conversations I had with my first wife over the years! Wife -'if you were half a man you'd take me to the circus'! Me - 'if I were half a man, I'd be in the circus'! Wife- 'do you notice anything different about me today'? Me- 'you've had your hair done'? Wife- 'NO' Me- 'you've got a different lipstick'? Wife 'NO' Me - 'a new dress'? Wife-'NO' Me - 'O.K. I give up, what is it'? Wife - 'I'm wearing a gas mask'! Wife - 'you never talk to me when we make love' Me 'well I don't want to wake you'! Wif- 'Did you actually go to school stupid'? Me- 'Yes, but I always came back stupid'! Me- 'do you fancy trying the 'wheelbarrow position' tonight'? Wife- 'well how does that work'? Me - 'you strip off, then get on your hands and knees, I get behind you, lift your legs as if they were barrow handles, and away we go'! Wife - 'O.K. I'll give a go, but, on one condition'! Me - 'what condition'? Wife - 'You have to promise me that you won't push me past my mother's house'! Me- 'darling, do you fancy a change of position tonight'? Wife-'now that IS a good idea, you get behind the ironing board, and I'll lie on the settee scratching my bollocks and farting all night'! My mother in law hasn't spoken to me for quite a while now, she's annoyed because I never held the car door open for her! I'll be quite honest and hold my hand up here, yes I am guilty, but, I just panicked and swam for the surface! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
78ast78dgyad Posted October 30, 2022 Share Posted October 30, 2022 Presenter thinks the war is going on in Yugoslavia?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted October 31, 2022 Share Posted October 31, 2022 KING CHARLES THE TURD LOOKS VERY HAPPY TODAY. Someone told him that old joke about the constipated mathematician, you know the one, the constipated mathematician who had to work it out with a pencil and paper! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nemuri Kyoshiro Posted November 2, 2022 Share Posted November 2, 2022 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nemuri Kyoshiro Posted November 2, 2022 Share Posted November 2, 2022 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sickofallthebollocks Posted November 3, 2022 Share Posted November 3, 2022 Makes ya proud to be British.....?... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
legion Posted November 3, 2022 Share Posted November 3, 2022 ....and you will be happy; Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sickofallthebollocks Posted November 5, 2022 Share Posted November 5, 2022 Love the laugh from him at the end 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sickofallthebollocks Posted November 6, 2022 Share Posted November 6, 2022 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sickofallthebollocks Posted November 7, 2022 Share Posted November 7, 2022 come on kids! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted November 7, 2022 Share Posted November 7, 2022 (edited) 21 hours ago, sickofallthebollocks said: wHAT What a pair of Vaginas I was going to say, cunts, but decided that I'd be more diplomatic, more refined, softer in my language and more caring in my attitude to others, but, this pair of cunts show the average sheep mentality as far as I'm concerned! He would have been far funnier if he'd been pouring oil on her as he turned her gently on a spit with an apple in her mouth! How did I do? Edited November 7, 2022 by Mr Crabtree 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Crabtree Posted November 7, 2022 Share Posted November 7, 2022 On 10/27/2022 at 9:56 PM, legion said: edit to add - by "this country" - l mean your average citizen - not the ruling war mongers Fast forward 82 years from a country that 'had some bollocks' to a country who's 'leaders' etc are totally 'Full of Bollocks', they're so bent and twisted that when they die they'll have to dig their graves with a corkscrew! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nemuri Kyoshiro Posted November 7, 2022 Share Posted November 7, 2022 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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