SkyBlueEyes Posted January 23 Share Posted January 23 (edited) Dr. Minesa Scotch of Clinical Labratories for the University of Edinburgh's Litrature and Economic Social Studies(CLUELESS) has discovered a new variant of Covid-19. This variants symptoms consists of slurred speech, flushed face, anti-social behaviour, stumbling around, incapable of walking in a straight line and has been named "Pie-eyed-vid". The Scottish Police have been issued with New Pie-eyed-vid Breathalyser tester. On passing the Pie-eyedvid Test the police have been given powers to blitzkrieg detainees for wasting police time. If the detainee is Pie-eyed-vid positive then a Quarentine van will be called to place them into immediate quarentine camp, were social drinking and distancing will be severely adhered to. Other Professors at CLUELESS state this may not be a mutation of Covid as this Variant may have been progenitor for Covid 19 as it has been Spotted for years prior to the Outbreak, on the streets of Glasgow every Friday night for decades. The Police are unconcerned as to where it came from, or which bar the detainee contracted it from or which lab leaked it, as that is the job of Contact Tracers/Spy Trackers but how to handle the social disorder that has resulted from the outbreak. Dr. Scotch states "That this is a break thru in his years at CLUELESS, finally people have taken notice of my work, as my last Paper on 'How an apple a day, keeps the dentist away!' was laugthed at, as there was no alcohol involed to wash out any germs in the mouth." The New Police Issued Pie-eyed-vid Breathalyser tester. Edited January 23 by SkyBlueEyes 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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