How to release emotions?

[BornFreeNowAgain]

9 hours ago, RobinJ said:

Yes. Once you do open the spiritual closet door all kinds of things change. It takes time, effort, and a real will to change though, and most are just too lazy or just want an easy life, hence those types will be led by the nose into the control grid.

Indeed @RobinJ, for me, once I set out on the 'path' it is something that I have taken very seriously. Part of this was personally and Spiritually, and partly professionally because of the work I was doing which is imperative to heal your own wounds. Over the years I have met many on their 'healing journey' and a lot dropped and off and became disillusioned and gave up, but their lives never really improved due to that. 

 

But in many ways, I was fortunate. My particular 'wounds' were so obvious they were hard to ignore and were paralysing my ability to have a normal or decent life. Many I met in the Primal Therapy community were similar, so when you are that point, there is only a move towards help and healing, or the destructive path. For many though, they are perhaps not so aware that there are things that need healing, or that are running and ruining their lives.

 

Many perhaps need healing, but they have personalities, persona's or pain that propels them out in to the World and they can be quite successful; having a decent job, frequent relationships, a good social circle, and thus they perhaps never even think they may need healing. Someone with insecurity issues may hide from the World, or develop a personality that is out to prove their worth, and if they are remotely successful and those insecurities are not unduly ruining their life, they are less likely to cast self-awareness at themselves or seek healing. A lot of the time, people seek healing (or Spirituality) because they are 'not good at the game' or life is not working well. So in many ways, a person needs a crisis to see things clearly and seek healing. If life is working, then people don't stop to question it all. 

 

So in the course of my life I saw many stop their healing journey short, many never started, and others have used 'Spiritual bypassing' as a way to not heal themselves deeply or to avoid seeing the World clearly. Of course it is all relative, some need a lot of healing, others not so much, but all of us have shadow work to heal and many don't, even in the 'Spiritual community' and certainly many in the 'truth community', some still make a tremendous difference, but others end up damaging the 'community' as a whole because they fail to take responsibility for their behaviour. 

 

But as I say, I was fortunate in many ways. I had no choice to heal as it was impacting life so severely. And when I look back to periods in my life where I was so scared and so timid, even though I can remember that it was 'me', in many ways it feels like it was a different lifetime. I don't say this to blow my own trumpet, I still have much to heal, but I say it from the perspective of how much change you can affect in your own life and healing. 

 

Ultimately, I think we are all seeking freedom. 'Alternative truth' will only give you so much of that, the rest is through the 'Spiritual' and through healing. Freedom comes from raising our consciousness and vibration, but you can only raise your vibration by raising your consciousness, and some of that will ultimately need to be achieved through healing aspects like old trauma, the shadow and ego. 

Edited October 16, 2023 by BornFreeNowAgain

[RobinJ]

1 hour ago, BornFreeNowAgain said:

Arthur Janov (the founder of Primal Therapy) used to say "Feelings are the Royal Road to the Unconscious", which was a counter to Freud's ideas about dreams being the Royal Road. So, emotions I think do hold a place, or perhaps more accurately, they CAN be valuable information or an 'access point' to heal old trauma's, old feelings and thus eventually to heal the beliefs and conclusions about 'self' that are often the result of trauma, which is the true plague. Gabor Mate often talks about this; "Trauma is a Greek word for wound. Literally that's what it means. So when you understand that, then you realize...trauma is not what happens to you. Trauma is what happens inside you as a result of what happened to you. 

"Trauma is not the event that inflicted the wound. So, the trauma is not the sexual abuse, the trauma is not the war. Trauma is not the abandonment. The trauma is not the inability of your parents to see you for who you were. Trauma is the wound that you sustained as a result. So my wound wasn't that my mother gave me [away temporarily] to a stranger [when I was a child]. My wound was that I made that mean that I wasn't lovable and I wasn't wanted and I was being abandoned, which is a good thing. Because if the trauma was what happened to you, guess what? It' ll never unhappen."

 

What Gabor Mate is saying here, is what is often termed the 'meaning making', or as I said earlier, the conclusions made about our experiences. It is often what is 'left over' from the trauma; "I am unlovable', 'the World is a scary place', 'everyone is out to get me', 'I cannot be myself and be loved'. However, emotions are only ONE of the ways that we can heal these trauma's.

 

For many I met in Primal Therapy no amount of smashing the punchbag, the walls or the deep sobbing that could last an hour, were enough to heal the old wounds or the conclusions about oneself. I think Primal Therapy offered so much, but it also lacked something. What Primal Therapy was 'looking for' was often the insights that came from such Primal experiences (Primal's) and no doubt the insights that came from a true Primal (which is a connected feeling on all levels) were very powerful, but you can get those insights in other ways that don't require the deep emotional release. 

 

One of the biggest insights I ever had was outside of Primal Therapy and it really shifted so much for me. From that experience, a lot changed for me, and this was just through talking things through. So for me at least, anything that will shift the core beliefs about self and the deeply held conclusions about self are the keys to healing and those might be different for each person. I think Primal Therapy and the like, appeal to those who are quite badly 'damaged' as a result of their early life. Someone less 'damaged' may be better suited to other modalities. 

Interesting, thanks for sharing that. For me that shift was with NLP. Learning what my core beliefs were set me on the road to understanding, along with viewing my habitual repetitive patterns with all relationships. Once identified you can then break the cycle if you see it happening again. It made a huge impact for me, also set me on the road to wanting to know more about psychology and personality types etc. It was psychological stuff which ultimately put me on the spiritual path too. Funny how it all connects when you look back.

[BornFreeNowAgain]

Also apologies for steering this more towards trauma, rather than releasing emotions. Although they can be the same thing, emotions in day to day present life don't need to have any trauma attached. 

 

For me, when I can feel that there are emotions 'trapped', it starts to set off a kind of 'funk' in my mood, and perhaps the old coping mechanisms such as comfort eating, distracting myself. Sometimes simply laying down and doing a sort of body scan (concentrating on areas where there is some sensation, perhaps a sense of where the trapped emotions are) is enough for an emotional release. Sometimes it is as simple as breathing into the areas or feelings that are rising. Other times when the emotions are linked to 'old wounds' (which are often harder to access) I will use music that moves me, or perhaps some YouTube videos that have inspired me or moved me in the past. For example there is a really old video of Diamond Dallas Page helping a veteran who had put on weight and could barely walk and through Yoga and DDP's help transformed. There is a part where the veteran runs past the camera after previously being unable to walk, that gets me every time as you can see the determination in his eyes. It s very powerful and inspiring. So for me, anything that contains 'divine love or wisdom' will allow me to access some emotion that I can then use to access my own emotions. 

 

Most of the time, the first two work for me. But in certain situations where the emotions seem blocked, or even backed up if much has happened, or are just too bog, I will use the 'artificial means' above to find a 'way in'. Obviously that may only work for me, but I hope you find something that works for you. This is for releasing present day emotions, although they are often inextricably linked to the old wounds, for trauma release it is an entirely different proposition I believe. 

 

 

 

 

[Mr H]

@Macnamara

 

Yes, I was the same especially during covid. This forum in particular a real life saver for me, knowing I wasn't the only one thinking what I was. It's easy to believe we are alone especially in isolation.

[Mr H]

On 10/16/2023 at 1:08 AM, RobinJ said:

Interesting, thanks for sharing that. For me that shift was with NLP. Learning what my core beliefs were set me on the road to understanding, along with viewing my habitual repetitive patterns with all relationships. Once identified you can then break the cycle if you see it happening again. It made a huge impact for me, also set me on the road to wanting to know more about psychology and personality types etc. It was psychological stuff which ultimately put me on the spiritual path too. Funny how it all connects when you look back.

Not sure if you tried it, but I believe the scrambling technique comes from NLP. Where you reimagine the story, then change the view, or scramble it by changing the colours, volume, the picture etc....

 

Is quite good for changing stories 

[Mr H]

On 10/15/2023 at 7:47 PM, Campion said:

 

Agreed. Uncomfortable emotions aren't the root problem, they are your mind & body's response to the situation you're in, so they're a kind of communication from your subconscious to your conscious mind, a call to action, to change something.  Unless you've got a malfunction in the system like me with my anxiety firing off unnecessarily. 

 

But then situations change anyway, what caused a painful feeling may have finished, and we're left with the memory of it, the story of it. Problems from childhood, old relationships, etc can still make us feel bad just from the memory of it. It's not about getting rid of the past, but putting the past in the past. A Buddhist monk at a retreat I went to once likened Buddhist mindfulness, being present in the here and now,  with Christian forgiveness. 

 

I've read you mention before you studied Zen Buddhism. Maybe not the thread. But I would be interested to hear more about your experiences sometime. I know nothing of it, but everyone I met who has done it seems well grounded, intelligent, disciplined and chilled. Seems to be some good on it if we take the Jesus approach and judge by the bearing fruit 

[RobinJ]

10 hours ago, Mr H said:

Not sure if you tried it, but I believe the scrambling technique comes from NLP. Where you reimagine the story, then change the view, or scramble it by changing the colours, volume, the picture etc....

 

Is quite good for changing stories 

Yes thats a powerful tool. Basically though, you get what you focus on. Example; if you tell yourself you are depressed constantly then you will be so because your mind obeys your emotions. And, your mind then tells your body how to react. Some of the simplest things can be so useful, like using music to change your mood ( or "state").

[Mr H]

7 hours ago, RobinJ said:

Yes thats a powerful tool. Basically though, you get what you focus on. Example; if you tell yourself you are depressed constantly then you will be so because your mind obeys your emotions. And, your mind then tells your body how to react. Some of the simplest things can be so useful, like using music to change your mood ( or "state").

And comedy movie I think.

 

May sound paradoxical. But I'm starting to believe that it is belief that dictates all experience. Even with things we think are certain or we use higher reasoning to deduct - we can't really be 100% sure of anything really. And these thinking's just strengthen a belief which then creates your reality. 

 

There is an exercise in early Antony Robbins book, think it was called personal power where you analyse all your current beliefs and values and then encouraged to change them if you are seeking a different experience. I think I will revisit I never did the exercise thoroughly.....

[RobinJ]

5 hours ago, Mr H said:

And comedy movie I think.

 

May sound paradoxical. But I'm starting to believe that it is belief that dictates all experience. Even with things we think are certain or we use higher reasoning to deduct - we can't really be 100% sure of anything really. And these thinking's just strengthen a belief which then creates your reality. 

 

There is an exercise in early Antony Robbins book, think it was called personal power where you analyse all your current beliefs and values and then encouraged to change them if you are seeking a different experience. I think I will revisit I never did the exercise thoroughly.....

Oh yes, absolutely. We are a creation of our belief systems. That's why its so important to learn how to (what I call) talk yourself back from the ledge, when needed. Don't allow your mind to run amok and control your emotional reactions when we hit a crisis.

A lot of problems also come from repressing emotions. Learning to let go is a huge life lesson.

 

However, the good news about that is that we can change at any time, we just need to remain open to new ideas and keep searching until we find what works for us.

If I look at my younger self as opposed to now, I am a completely different person. NLP helped set me on that road, but I did the work, and still do.

Once you understand what your top values are and align yourself to them, live by them, if you will, then life becomes a lot easier.

I have a great simple visual exercise for that,  if you'd like it, send me a PM and I'll post it there with instructions.