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Marriage.....why do we do it?


Mr H

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Why do people get married?

 

I sometimes hear it is because they love each other. Did they not have this love prior to marriage? What has it got to.do with it? Will the love cease if you don't get married? Is that love?

 

Sometimes I hear it's for the children. A commitment. But marriage is not a commitment. Because you have an out of the commitment, via divorce - making it not a commitment. If marriage is to exist then divorce cannot exist. 

 

I can't think of any other reason other than.culturally we've been programmed to desire it. Or for financial gain.

 

What have I not seen?

 

 

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Marriage is essentially founded upon the idea that a partnership of a man and a woman is the best set-up to pro-create children and then raise them with the lifeskills to go on and live their own lives and find their own partner with which they can responsibly raise children

 

communism hates this because they do not want people passing on their own value systems to their children

 

communism wants control of the children so that it can raise them to be standardised automatons of the state who will always blindly obey the state

 

this is why 'woke' neo-marxists are attacking the family unit and what they call 'heteronormativity'

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A few thoughts off the top of my head. 

 

Children do better in life with a stable family as Mac says above.

If you're married, it's more complicated to split up so you will try harder to make it work. 

Marriage is a legally recognised contract, so it's clearer for legal & financial issues like tax, inheritance, benefits etc. 

If one partner has lower or zero income, ownership of family assets etc, they get more protection if there's a breakup. 

Being married makes it more clear cut that you're creating or continuing a family line, which as Mac says is an institution which can stand against the state for upbringing and protection. If it was up to me I'd extend the concept of families into formally recognised tribes and clans which can reduce the need for state control even further. 

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On 8/3/2023 at 10:23 AM, Macnamara said:

Marriage is essentially founded upon the idea that a partnership of a man and a woman is the best set-up to pro-create children and then raise them with the lifeskills to go on and live their own lives and find their own partner with which they can responsibly raise children

 

communism hates this because they do not want people passing on their own value systems to their children

 

communism wants control of the children so that it can raise them to be standardised automatons of the state who will always blindly obey the state

 

this is why 'woke' neo-marxists are attacking the family unit and what they call 'heteronormativity'

This is what I was brought up to believe.

 

A lot of modern folks seem to not think this way and 50% divorce rate. How can marriage and divorce co exist? Doesn't make sense unless one has maybe committed a crime or gone clinically mental and not possible to live with

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It's enculturation. It's a social norm which people, in most cases, unconsciously attune to without ever truly questioning whether it is right for them, or has value. Like acquiring property, working and procreating. 

 

People unconsciously attune to widespread social norms because in an evolutionary sense they guarantee greater security and provision of resources than going against the grain.

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On 8/3/2023 at 4:23 PM, Macnamara said:

Marriage is essentially founded upon the idea that a partnership of a man and a woman is the best set-up to pro-create children and then raise them with the lifeskills to go on and live their own lives and find their own partner with which they can responsibly raise children

 

Agreed. Having children and creating your family involves making sacrifices to what individualistic ambitions and preferences we may have. A culture of self-sacrifice for your kith and kin runs against what the cabal wants, which is an atomised society of hedonistic consumers whose loyalty is to themselves and the state. Institutions like families, religions, ethnicities and tribes represent independent power centres which are a threat to the cabal's takeover of society. 

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10 hours ago, Mr H said:

A lot of modern folks seem to not think this way and 50% divorce rate. How can marriage and divorce co exist? Doesn't make sense unless one has maybe committed a crime or gone clinically mental and not possible to live with

 

why is marriage failing?

 

i think in general society has become a more disposable society. Even electrical goods are built with 'inbuilt obsolesence' and then discarded

 

everything is speeding up and become more high tempo and jazzy. I saw an article this week predicting that over 70% of the global population are predicated to have a mental health problem in the coming years. In all of this rapid 'progress' it becomes harder to find satisfaction.

 

If you look at the amish no one would say that that they are 'exciting'. In fact if you asked most people in modern society they might even say that the amish look boring. But what if the amish are on a gentler, slower frequency that has more staying power?

 

What if modern society on the other hand is rushing headlong towards its own implosion? The amish didn't take the covid jabs but modern society did.

 

What exactly are we 'progressing' to? Does anyone even know what they really want? What if that agitated state of modern society shakes everything apart?

Edited by Macnamara
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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...

I got married to my missus because we thought it would spice up the bedroom if you get what I mean. 

 

Unfortunately i am still inadequate and the look I receive after trying to please her is similar to the one below.

I thought I was a stallion. 

 

4jryuu.jpg

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It's a system thing. Religion, Christianity. I don't care who you are, how can you make a promise to love someone until death do us part??? life changes. We change, we expand and our journey goes in different directions.  It's definitely a religious thing, and for those not religious, just trapped by the system and then eventually loveless marriage who stay for kids or money or both. A loving partnership doesn't need those vowels, which more often than not, are broken anyway. 

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23 hours ago, Trustinfinite said:

It's a system thing. Religion, Christianity. I don't care who you are, how can you make a promise to love someone until death do us part??? life changes. We change, we expand and our journey goes in different directions.  It's definitely a religious thing, and for those not religious, just trapped by the system and then eventually loveless marriage who stay for kids or money or both. A loving partnership doesn't need those vowels, which more often than not, are broken anyway. 

 

Although I got married at a register office, for me it had a spiritual and mystical element. Before I got married I was an individual person in a relationship with my fiancee, and afterwards I still had my individuality and was in a couple but something had changed. My ego had melted somehow and I was still an individual and I was also the couple. Rather like the Christian idea of two people becoming one flesh. The two families also become linked through marriage, there's a sense of expansion and interconnectedness from the individual level outwards to the whole community. What would happen if we didn't drop the female surname when we get married but instead accumulated the surnames of all our ancestors? Impractical of course, but we'd see the connections with others in our neighbourhoods through shared names. 

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 9/11/2023 at 1:34 PM, Campion said:

 What would happen if we didn't drop the female surname when we get married but instead accumulated the surnames of all our ancestors? Impractical of course, but we'd see the connections with others in our neighbourhoods through shared names. 

Starting to see some poor youngsters with qwad hyphenated names....

Next generation will be Octal last name... {;>))

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As a kid I always thought I'd marry a real 'Dreamboat'👍 in reality I ended up married to someone who was actually more like a 'Tugboat'👇 At first we were very, very happy, and then, on the way to our wedding reception, the arguments started, apparently she wanted to come on honeymoon with me to Spain, but my mated didn't like that idea because they thought she'd cramp our style somewhat!🤔 I thought she really did love me because she kept a big framed photograph of me on the coffee table, but she later told me it was so the dog would recognise me when I eventually came home🫣 She said 'how would you like it if you never saw me for five days'? Stupidly I replied 'Oh I wouldn't mind that'! Well, for the next three days I didn't see her at all, but on the fourth day, the swelling was going down and I could see her blurred outline through my left eye! 🥴 She told all her mates I'd been unfaithful to her, which in my opinion was very biased, she never even mentioned all the times I hadn't been unfaithful to her!🤫 She never spoke to me for two years over the silliest thing, just because I never opened the car door for her, how petty was that'? O.K., I'll admit that that was selfish in some ways, but, the truth is, I just panicked and tried to swim to the surface before my lungs gave out'🤨 13 years later I walked out of the divorce courts a free man😉! My second marriage has lasted 42 years, so far, I can't remember walking under 3 ladders🤔?

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On 8/3/2023 at 11:13 AM, Mr H said:

Why do people get married?

 

I sometimes hear it is because they love each other. Did they not have this love prior to marriage? What has it got to.do with it? Will the love cease if you don't get married? Is that love?

 

Sometimes I hear it's for the children. A commitment. But marriage is not a commitment. Because you have an out of the commitment, via divorce - making it not a commitment. If marriage is to exist then divorce cannot exist. 

 

I can't think of any other reason other than.culturally we've been programmed to desire it. Or for financial gain.

 

What have I not seen?

 

 

I can't help you... I live with partner without marriage for 18 years... I guess in UK people do it for tax reasons... In Poland lady can get pension after man death if his pension is higher... 

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