Mr Crabtree Posted March 11 Share Posted March 11 (edited) 6 hours ago, LastOneLeftInTheCounty said: That’s hilarious, you always make me smile mr Crabtree! Tactical Goat, that’s what I’m going to call my home brew, sounds excellent tripping off the tongue Thanks mate, I appreciate that, when I was a youth back in Worcestershire there was a farm I worked on during the weekends and Mrs Bayliss, the farmer's missus, used to brew, or ferment a wickedly powerful cider she called 'Tanglefoot' They had a massive orchard and they always pressed their own apples to make this deadly scrumpy and it got you pissed quicker than a Friday morning Giro cheque from the D.W.P.! There were so many families on the dole in my road they called the postman 'Giro Jim' because he always bought their beer and bingo tokens, all in the guise of a giro cheque! An Indian lad did the round for a fortnight whilst Jim was away on the Costa Brava enjoying his two weeks holiday, straight away we nicknamed him 'Postman Patel' and He seemed to like the banter and we all agreed that we'd have liked him to do the round permanently because 'Jim' could be a right misery sometimes! Unfortunately the lad was knocked of his bike and killed whilst doing his own round a few months later! I just had a though as I was checking this over for spelling mistakes, the APPLE drink was called SCRUMPY and stealing the farmers APPLES was called SCRUMPING, there just has to be a connection between certain words, besides the apples I mean! The local old boys used to say' that scrumpy is so good for you, you always get 'A good clean out' the next morning, 'it meks yer shit through the eye of a needle' ! The best laxative for me was when I looked in the rear mirror on my way home from a poaching expedition and saw the sign 'ECILOP 'lit up in the mirror! And then of course there were the 'Noddy Bikes' Our local copper had one of those, but I think he was scared to ride it half the time, he preferred his old bike most of the time! One local lad boasted that he'd given Sgt Moore's daughter a lift home from the local dancehall on his crossbar, I said 'what's so special about that'? really I think I was jealous at the time and he said 'well, she didn't know until we got home, it was my sister's bike, and it hadn't got a crossbar'! I always carried my letters of permission from local farmers and if I did 'inadvertently' stray into another area by complete accident in the dark fields, well, one rabbit looked much like another to the men in blue! Sometimes I borrowed the paper bike from the shed at the back of the local paper shop run by two lovely old ladies both spinsters and both called 'Miss Kings' you could hide that in the hedge at night, and the basket held quite a lot of bunnies too! I 'd worked there when I was still school, delivering the papers and I think the ladies knew I borrowed it, but I always kept it oiled and pumped up for them, and they turned a blind eye as long as it was there for the paper boy the next morning they were happy enough! Edited March 11 by Mr Crabtree 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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