Psychosis or awakening?

[Nikki]

This has taken me 2 years to get back to myself and been scared to talk about this, but I feel I need to share my story, and because most of what I've seen David Icke say is not only scarily similar to my experiences but the terminology used is also how I'd articulate it too.

So this has to be the best place to talk, bit of background on myself, I worked with the NHS for 15 years I worked closely with government to roll out several services nationally and helplines aka cover shit up lines .... but in 2013 I had a car accident that left me disabled, I lost my job, and life spiralled for a while, as I got to the point I'm accepting of what my new life would look like, I was settled and now on disability benefits, which was a shock to the system dropping from 4000 a month to 800 a month was hard, throughout this period I was seriously depressed, then covid hit, we are now in 2020 and the world got locked down I instantly panicked I knew that this was serious more serious than a flu pandemic, I had my own thoughts on this at the time knowing how the government operate and do things, that's another long story, corrupt is how I know they are, but in May of 2020 I was using the toilet drying my hands no particular thoughts at the time, and I felt a weird sensation deep in my head it felt like something ruptured, my first thought was I was having a stroke, I panicked and went to tell my partner I shouted I needed an ambulance and before I got to bottom of the stairs I heard a high pitch noise ring in my head, like when you tuning into a radio, then a booming voice, it was so loud, echoed through, this voice told me that "they had been watching and they had seen everything" I then started having visions like uou would if your day dreaming almost and so many came at me at once like a flood gate opened up, instead of getting an ambulance the police came and arrested me, gave me no reason for the arrest, and let me go some hours later, I sort of kept coming back to myself for a while after this happened, but by the next day it all got worse the voice in my head and the visions, I then got took to a psychiatric hospital they quickly diagnosed me with an acute psychotic episode, now I was there for 3 months, the treatment was horrid, I was abused so were the other patients, but I was always told not to say anything as I would not be believed, that the information I received in hospital from this voice was a gift, I had 3 months of constant visions of information, alot was heart breaking but it was a process a transformative experience, and it makes me wonder if this was a kind of spiritual emergency, I'm not a religious person I never read a bible in my life and still haven't, but briefly because everything I was told would probably take some talking, but I was told by this voice that we were at spiritual war, I was shown as far back as creation, and onwards, all the wars around the world the atrocities being carried out, the suffering and abuse etc, I was shown what was going to happen to us step by step, for their plan to keep a 1% population, the great reset was the words used by this voice I was shown this would be done through war, bio weapons, financial, starvation, dehydration etc I was shown that flights and transport as such is going to stop if you imagine us as sheep being rounded up a pen ready for the slaughter house that's what I was shown, I was shown that the ones at the top if you like have plans eventually to harvest consciousness but the real aim is to make the planet theirs for their utopia, we are not needed, however energy generally has alot to do with this, when I was ill, I not only had these visions and given lots of information which since has come true but is happening in front of my eyes and when stuff backs up your psychosis you have to question reality as we know it, I was told the ones at the top are satanists and want to keep everyone in a dark place it changes the vibrations your body is putting out and because we are many, but we are one we are all connected, and if we are in the dark we can never reach the light, because that's the hierarchal system in that realm, plus its also alot to do with the fact that control is so much easier when running in fear, this voice in the end showed me that it won't be like that forever and all dark will be gone, the voice explained when they return darkness will be stamped out from earth and all remaining  mankind will be operating at a enlightened state, there will be no war no famine no rulers all man will be equal as it was intended, this voice also told me all the things I'd done wrong and showed me things I'd even forgotten from my childhood even things I didn't think were a problem, I was told how I'd impacted on people in a negative way and then all the good things I'd done etc the voice told me I needed to pray and I needed to repent for my sins, so I did and immediately I got better the visions less and less etc then within 3 days I was home, but a few other things happened physically, so breaking this down, in hospital I could walk without pain I didn't need my sticks or wheelchair I was the strongest I'd ever been in fact they didn't know I was actually housebound and chairbound normally, I was dancing running round I was euphoric, I also even though a meat eater I couldn't eat meat at all, I was repulsed by it, and the voice told me we wernt meant to do that anyway, but I was never offered vegetarian food so I didn't eat, I lost 3 stone, I repented for my sins, and what this all did was gave me knowledge at an intellectual level, it gave nothing but warnings in detail, and showed me who I was, instead of thinking of myself as nikki I'm a higher being a powerful being, the last thing I heard this voice say was that if we knew how colourful we were and how magnificent we were "they would not win" we all have a power and it needs unlocking, but we are so brainwashed people can't see, But I do know that eventually more and more are awakening if you like, now I used to train people on mental health, and this was nothing like what the NHS say mental health is, I can confirm if this is crazy that's where I want to be all the time and if I could prescribe this it would change the world, so was this illness ? I certainly wasn't unwell I didn't feel poorly in fact miracly healed, and the way I'd.like to describe it to people is like when we are watching someone wear a virtual reality headset, it looks funny they are.punching the air and doing some weird stuff, but what's happening is they are simply reacting to things they are seeing and hearing, things we cannot see because they are immersed in another reality, and that's how it is for us. When I got out of hospital I felt like it was a gift and I felt a love a compassion a connection to the planet and people I'd never had  before, I now have a peace in my mind, I have no negative thoughts at all, and understand that the key to all this is love, keeping that happy, positive vibration, I don't suffer any depression now, I'm still in the same situation as I was before I went into hospital but it doesn't stress me at all like it did, I'm a different person a better person  altogether and it's because of my psychosis, but I felt it was enlightenment, I felt it was an awakening, and I'd be interested to hear if anyone else has seen or been through this as I'm confident this is something that is being hidden because the truth is mind blowing, beyond comprehension almost, I am open to questions, and bear in mind I've said very little about things I was shown on purpose as most of what I've seen is on the news now to be honest and the rest is yet to come and it's scary, and sick so I will elaborate if asked but for now I thought a brief description of my experience. And I will pray to whoever it was I spoke with because I don't believe in God as such as we know it, but it was a higher power and that was made clear, and I'm not religious either but the way of the church is also wrong I was told it was all done as an early form of control  it wasn't meant to make sense on purpose, but afterlife etc higher powers exist, and if we want to make things better you just need to change the perceptions. But my god do we need help if any of what I was told and shown is true. And it starts and stops with us. NOT THEM . 

 

[depressed_soul]

Hello Nikki, I think it's a combo of psychosis, spiritual awakening, spiritual battle,, and the fact that you had knowledge of David Ickes research and theories which mixed in your psychosis. Also, if you never read the Bible and you thought this was from God, maybe try and understand that in the Bible when you repented, you have to ask Jesus to also come into your life. I think you are going through spiritual warfare too. Satan rules this world and it makes sense why the people in charge are Satanists. This is an awakening for you spiritually to ask God to forgive your sins and also invite Jesus into your life. If you accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior, you have the power to cast demons out you when you receive the Holy Spirit. I don't think it was all psychosis and I'm sorry you were put in the mental hospital and they mistreated you and other patients. Most people that work in mental hospitals are evil and power-happy like cops here in America. You are battling demons that are messing with you. Jesus is the only one great power spiritually to stop it. We are living in a very spiritual world that we cannot see. I will pray for you to come to Jesus and to protect you. 

[78ast78dgyad]

On 10/1/2022 at 4:05 PM, Nikki said:

This has taken me 2 years to get back to myself and been scared to talk about this, but I feel I need to share my story, and because most of what I've seen David Icke say is not only scarily similar to my experiences but the terminology used is also how I'd articulate it too.

So this has to be the best place to talk, bit of background on myself, I worked with the NHS for 15 years I worked closely with government to roll out several services nationally and helplines aka cover shit up lines .... but in 2013 I had a car accident that left me disabled, I lost my job, and life spiralled for a while, as I got to the point I'm accepting of what my new life would look like, I was settled and now on disability benefits, which was a shock to the system dropping from 4000 a month to 800 a month was hard, throughout this period I was seriously depressed, then covid hit, we are now in 2020 and the world got locked down I instantly panicked I knew that this was serious more serious than a flu pandemic, I had my own thoughts on this at the time knowing how the government operate and do things, that's another long story, corrupt is how I know they are, but in May of 2020 I was using the toilet drying my hands no particular thoughts at the time, and I felt a weird sensation deep in my head it felt like something ruptured, my first thought was I was having a stroke, I panicked and went to tell my partner I shouted I needed an ambulance and before I got to bottom of the stairs I heard a high pitch noise ring in my head, like when you tuning into a radio, then a booming voice, it was so loud, echoed through, this voice told me that "they had been watching and they had seen everything" I then started having visions like uou would if your day dreaming almost and so many came at me at once like a flood gate opened up, instead of getting an ambulance the police came and arrested me, gave me no reason for the arrest, and let me go some hours later, I sort of kept coming back to myself for a while after this happened, but by the next day it all got worse the voice in my head and the visions, I then got took to a psychiatric hospital they quickly diagnosed me with an acute psychotic episode, now I was there for 3 months, the treatment was horrid, I was abused so were the other patients, but I was always told not to say anything as I would not be believed, that the information I received in hospital from this voice was a gift, I had 3 months of constant visions of information, alot was heart breaking but it was a process a transformative experience, and it makes me wonder if this was a kind of spiritual emergency, I'm not a religious person I never read a bible in my life and still haven't, but briefly because everything I was told would probably take some talking, but I was told by this voice that we were at spiritual war, I was shown as far back as creation, and onwards, all the wars around the world the atrocities being carried out, the suffering and abuse etc, I was shown what was going to happen to us step by step, for their plan to keep a 1% population, the great reset was the words used by this voice I was shown this would be done through war, bio weapons, financial, starvation, dehydration etc I was shown that flights and transport as such is going to stop if you imagine us as sheep being rounded up a pen ready for the slaughter house that's what I was shown, I was shown that the ones at the top if you like have plans eventually to harvest consciousness but the real aim is to make the planet theirs for their utopia, we are not needed, however energy generally has alot to do with this, when I was ill, I not only had these visions and given lots of information which since has come true but is happening in front of my eyes and when stuff backs up your psychosis you have to question reality as we know it, I was told the ones at the top are satanists and want to keep everyone in a dark place it changes the vibrations your body is putting out and because we are many, but we are one we are all connected, and if we are in the dark we can never reach the light, because that's the hierarchal system in that realm, plus its also alot to do with the fact that control is so much easier when running in fear, this voice in the end showed me that it won't be like that forever and all dark will be gone, the voice explained when they return darkness will be stamped out from earth and all remaining  mankind will be operating at a enlightened state, there will be no war no famine no rulers all man will be equal as it was intended, this voice also told me all the things I'd done wrong and showed me things I'd even forgotten from my childhood even things I didn't think were a problem, I was told how I'd impacted on people in a negative way and then all the good things I'd done etc the voice told me I needed to pray and I needed to repent for my sins, so I did and immediately I got better the visions less and less etc then within 3 days I was home, but a few other things happened physically, so breaking this down, in hospital I could walk without pain I didn't need my sticks or wheelchair I was the strongest I'd ever been in fact they didn't know I was actually housebound and chairbound normally, I was dancing running round I was euphoric, I also even though a meat eater I couldn't eat meat at all, I was repulsed by it, and the voice told me we wernt meant to do that anyway, but I was never offered vegetarian food so I didn't eat, I lost 3 stone, I repented for my sins, and what this all did was gave me knowledge at an intellectual level, it gave nothing but warnings in detail, and showed me who I was, instead of thinking of myself as nikki I'm a higher being a powerful being, the last thing I heard this voice say was that if we knew how colourful we were and how magnificent we were "they would not win" we all have a power and it needs unlocking, but we are so brainwashed people can't see, But I do know that eventually more and more are awakening if you like, now I used to train people on mental health, and this was nothing like what the NHS say mental health is, I can confirm if this is crazy that's where I want to be all the time and if I could prescribe this it would change the world, so was this illness ? I certainly wasn't unwell I didn't feel poorly in fact miracly healed, and the way I'd.like to describe it to people is like when we are watching someone wear a virtual reality headset, it looks funny they are.punching the air and doing some weird stuff, but what's happening is they are simply reacting to things they are seeing and hearing, things we cannot see because they are immersed in another reality, and that's how it is for us. When I got out of hospital I felt like it was a gift and I felt a love a compassion a connection to the planet and people I'd never had  before, I now have a peace in my mind, I have no negative thoughts at all, and understand that the key to all this is love, keeping that happy, positive vibration, I don't suffer any depression now, I'm still in the same situation as I was before I went into hospital but it doesn't stress me at all like it did, I'm a different person a better person  altogether and it's because of my psychosis, but I felt it was enlightenment, I felt it was an awakening, and I'd be interested to hear if anyone else has seen or been through this as I'm confident this is something that is being hidden because the truth is mind blowing, beyond comprehension almost, I am open to questions, and bear in mind I've said very little about things I was shown on purpose as most of what I've seen is on the news now to be honest and the rest is yet to come and it's scary, and sick so I will elaborate if asked but for now I thought a brief description of my experience. And I will pray to whoever it was I spoke with because I don't believe in God as such as we know it, but it was a higher power and that was made clear, and I'm not religious either but the way of the church is also wrong I was told it was all done as an early form of control  it wasn't meant to make sense on purpose, but afterlife etc higher powers exist, and if we want to make things better you just need to change the perceptions. But my god do we need help if any of what I was told and shown is true. And it starts and stops with us. NOT THEM . 

 

 

perhaps the accident triggered something in your body that is connected to higher abilities

 

for example, some people with autism have perfect memories and can do huge calculations

 

some ancient religions believed activating parts of the brain could activate telepathy and allow people to see into the future

 

 

[Nikki]

Fascinating stuff ... I believe we can't call it mental health ... not now ... I think its more an awakening ... and a spiritual war is taking place ...  

[TetraG]

On 10/1/2022 at 4:05 PM, Nikki said:

I was told the ones at the top are satanists and want to keep everyone in a dark place it changes the vibrations your body is putting out and because we are many, but we are one we are all connected, and if we are in the dark we can never reach the light, because that's the hierarchal system in that realm, plus its also alot to do with the fact that control is so much easier when running in fear, this voice in the end showed me that it won't be like that forever and all dark will be gone, the voice explained when they return darkness will be stamped out from earth and all remaining  mankind will be operating at a enlightened state

 

On 10/1/2022 at 4:05 PM, Nikki said:

I was told how I'd impacted on people in a negative way and then all the good things I'd done etc the voice told me I needed to pray and I needed to repent for my sins, so I did and immediately I got better the visions less and less etc then within 3 days I was home, but a few other things happened physically, so breaking this down, in hospital I could walk without pain I didn't need my sticks or wheelchair I was the strongest I'd ever been in fact they didn't know I was actually housebound and chairbound normally, I was dancing running round I was euphoric, I also even though a meat eater I couldn't eat meat at all, I was repulsed by it, and the voice told me we wernt meant to do that anyway, but I was never offered vegetarian food so I didn't eat, I lost 3 stone, I repented for my sins, and what this all did was gave me knowledge at an intellectual level, it gave nothing but warnings in detail, and showed me who I was, instead of thinking of myself as nikki I'm a higher being a powerful being, the last thing I heard this voice say was that if we knew how colourful we were and how magnificent we were "they would not win" we all have a power and it needs unlocking

 

Extremely interesting read.....hi Nikki .... (btw, I've met you in your past other thread btw --during convid pantomine in full swing-- where I agreed mental health services are a sham, ARE MASQUERADING AS HELP and by whatever handling (which I don't know specifically) but I can believe did mistreat you, more than likely has mistreated a lot of ruminated "ill" people whom aren't necessarily ill at all).......

 

What you say which came before these 2 quoted paragraphs above, I notice I think what I write next>> so the 'striking voice OR noise' for reasons unknown immediately.... (by chance, or by purpose, eitherway but inadvertently unattributable maybe at the time it first hit your conscience in what seems quite a startling way) ....  Only to then be apprehended By THE IMPERTINENT & BIZARRE ACTION TAKEN BY AUTHORITIES (by whatever incidence) inappropriately it's clear, which had the police call at your home to come and arrest you, rather than the requested ambulance... as I think was the weird happening when by contrast you had INITIALLY thought what was happening was MAYBE "a scary stroke" as it may have felt as I understand - but anyhow moving on from all that authoritarian bravado, the more positive side this voice turned out to be something more beneficial ultimately yes? .... Looks that way..... So now referring to the latter big size paragraph I have quoted, it prooves it was not all psychosis, and the main take-away was as I now see, how you ended this piece and thankyou whole heartedly for sharing btw, which is with some restored peace, and even NEW enlightenment you never felt on that level as you did at the time of this "voice of awakening" or whatever to call it... Dramatic at the start though wasn't it, when you were only using the toilet. you go to dry your hands,, and then BAM,,,,,, Gee-wow is just about all I can say about how that must have felt......

 

On 10/1/2022 at 4:05 PM, Nikki said:

now I used to train people on mental health, and this was nothing like what the NHS say mental health is, I can confirm if this is crazy that's where I want to be all the time and if I could prescribe this it would change the world, so was this illness ? I certainly wasn't unwell I didn't feel poorly in fact miracly healed, and the way I'd.like to describe it to people is like when we are watching someone wear a virtual reality headset, it looks funny they are.punching the air and doing some weird stuff, but what's happening is they are simply reacting to things they are seeing and hearing, things we cannot see because they are immersed in another reality, and that's how it is for us.

 

 "Class in a glass" (Sts) if can be permitted to phrase it this way, (NO, I don't drink alcoholic beverages, not that sort)  but hopefully going by what you say, WHICH I LIKEN to being the opposite effect of}} a VIRTUAL HEADSET PIECE OF TECH SHITE ~ so rather and so much the better ~ a spiritual inspired all seeing glass (Sts),  pertaining to your I would guess potential or apparent "all awareness", (if not all knowing, AND really NO-ONE is all knowing completely) state of mind... Whatever, the experience came good.

Anyway that sort of a mind THAT SEES, (*and even hears on occasion, such as a voice, altho that has never quite happened to me TBH.*) ...STILL it turns out =including by having a naturally occurring inner dialogue which is totally normal for a vast number of people= this CAN COME GOOD ((and YES POTENTIALLY HEALING)) as I would also contend myself as having some notion of this, by in fact JUST BEING human BUT with an open outlook, including by what we find --or have imposed on us-- in a variety of ways, in relation to whatever deemed as reality and perceptions which go to make up that reality of each person carrying any number of falsities within them or loaded with questionable information onboard their psychie as a whole and fronting with it like people without a conscience and it is just that how sheepie people may appear of course and for good reason a lot of the time, THEY MADE STUPID FOOLISH CHOICES which should not necessarily slander a person in of itself (however irritating), but they do of course need to WAKE UP and sort their behaviour...... ETC..... 

Anyway my point is better you have a mind like an all seeing glass, if that's the case, rather than fostering the blinkered one as many fools are seen to do in reactive mode much like as we would call being in a state of lizard-like contention, where their behaviours are dullard/ crass/ volatile and you name it....That speaks of what the brain washed virtual head tampered sheepie people have going on for them which in turn makes our lives harder because they've all taken the dumbest of dumb decisions about life!! ...But we don't have to remain ill-effected by the mindless people forever.............

 

There are steps we can take, such as learning to campaign without fear, or go living off grid (SEE LINK BELOW) if we so choose to avoid the pitfalls of a bent & twisted society where every city is a SIN-CITY by all appearances!.... Not to say good people don't exist, but that is how I quickly came to view the world as no other explanation of spiritually corrupt (or easily led) people could better name what that is all about generally speaking.

 

Etc etc...

 

https://forum.davidicke.com/index.php?/topic/27313-what-about-like-minded-people-building-their-world-their-way/
 

On 10/1/2022 at 4:05 PM, Nikki said:

I am open to questions, and bear in mind I've said very little about things I was shown on purpose as most of what I've seen is on the news now to be honest and the rest is yet to come and it's scary, and sick so I will elaborate if asked but for now I thought a brief description of my experience. 
 

And I will pray to whoever it was I spoke with because I don't believe in God as such as we know it, but it was a higher power and that was made clear, and I'm not religious either but the way of the church is also wrong I was told it was all done as an early form of control  it wasn't meant to make sense on purpose, but afterlife etc higher powers exist, and if we want to make things better you just need to change the perceptions. But my god do we need help if any of what I was told and shown is true. And it starts and stops with us. NOT THEM . 

 

No worries, you don't have to believe in religion or A SINGLE GOD.... IMO, that is to say in my broad based opinion...it's better to think in terms of many types of Godliness in all things, which is not to lose ONENESS with self, or ONENESS with CREATION as a WHOLE etc.... but rather to help keep the mind broad like a proverbial "broad church!" without needing necessarily the physical pillars of faith in order to be spiritual for us all who are mindful or in any way OPEN MINDED ....

 

Last but not least, I wish you well on your journey in this life and by which I will hope to read any future postings of yours also, Cheers, T.

Edited October 20, 2022 by TetraG