Bombadil's Emporium of the Bizarre, the Gross and the Utterly Ridiculous

[Bombadil]

A topic to discuss Bizarre or ridiculous things we have seen or experienced. And the gross

 

[Ethel]

How can we fit the entire year of 2020 in one thread?

[TheConsultant]

This is genuinely true...

I had access to a Paul Daniels magic set when I was a child, I was not able to read how the tricks were done so I would just play around with the wand and pretend to do magic, well, one day I was waving the wand as usual attempting to say abracadabra and made a ball disappear right in front of me. It fucking went away from my eyesight right in front of my eyes to the gasps of my previously amused parents. Absolutely swear that is true, cannot explain it at all. 

Now that's magic!

[Ethel]

1 minute ago, TheConsultant said:

This is genuinely true...

I had access to a Paul Daniels magic set when I was a child, I was not able to read how the tricks were done so I would just play around with the wand and pretend to do magic, well, one day I was waving the wand as usual attempting to say abracadabra and made a ball disappear right in front of me. It fucking went away from my eyesight right in front of my eyes to the gasps of my previously amused parents. Absolutely swear that is true, cannot explain it at all. 

Now that's magic!

 

I had that too! I was like five or something, and the instructions were more like something for a ten year old. 

[Bombadil]

I’ll start of with an occurrence or three.

 

Sat having a beer one evening after work in Italy. Out of nowhere a bald man wearing a leotard dashes past. Closely followed by a police officer. Workmates and myself laughing our backsides off when a naked Midget appears out of nowhere chasing after them.

 

Had been travelling through India for a few weeks. My friends and I arrived in a small  village a few miles from Chennai. 
We found a place to eat. Real spit and sawdust. The sort of place you would get cholera from  just walking near.

 Two of my mates wanted some meat type spicy thing . I decided to pass but went to use the thing  that was presumably a toilet. The toilet was basically a hole in the ground leading to lords knows what below. Whilst doing my business I heard a strange animal shuffling noise. Using a torch I shone it into the toilet hole. Where I counted at least two pigs.

I might have made the right choice not to eat the meat.

[Ethel]

1 minute ago, Bombadil said:

I’ll start of with an occurrence or three.

 

Sat having a beer one evening after work in Italy. Out of nowhere a bald man wearing a leotard dashes past. Closely followed by a police officer. Workmates and myself laughing our backsides off when a naked Midget appears out of nowhere chasing after them.

 

Had been travelling through India for a few weeks. My friends and I arrived in a small  village a few miles from Chennai. 
We found a place to eat. Real spit and sawdust. The sort of place you would get cholera from  just walking near.

 Two of my mates wanted some meat type spicy thing . I decided to pass but went to use the thing  that was presumably a toilet. The toilet was basically a hole in the ground leading to lords knows what below. Whilst doing my business I heard a strange animal shuffling noise. Using a torch I shone it into the toilet hole. Where I counted at least two pigs.

 

Are these real things you witnessed? 

[TheConsultant]

2 minutes ago, Bombadil said:

I’ll start of with an occurrence or three.

 

Sat having a beer one evening after work in Italy. Out of nowhere a bald man wearing a leotard dashes past. Closely followed by a police officer. Workmates and myself laughing our backsides off when a naked Midget appears out of nowhere chasing after them.

 

Had been travelling through India for a few weeks. My friends and I arrived in a small  village a few miles from Chennai. 
We found a place to eat. Real spit and sawdust. The sort of place you would get cholera from  just walking near.

 Two of my mates wanted some meat type spicy thing . I decided to pass but went to use the thing  that was presumably a toilet. The toilet was basically a hole in the ground leading to lords knows what below. Whilst doing my business I heard a strange animal shuffling noise. Using a torch I shone it into the toilet hole. Where I counted at least two pigs.

Seriously, that first one has to be for something being filmed ?

As for the second, luckily pigs are happiest when in number 2, maybe not curried human number 2 but you may well have made their day!

[Bombadil]

1 minute ago, Ethel said:

 

Are these real things you witnessed? 

They genuinely are. And I was sober on both occassions

[Golden Retriever]

28 minutes ago, Bombadil said:

A topic to discuss Bizarre or ridiculous things we have seen or experienced.

 

 

One night, on my own in Spain about three years ago at about 9pm when it was dark I heard someone open my front door ( I had left the keys in).

I walked to the door to find two men in balaclavas and chased them away screaming POLICIA!

 

Anyway it turned out my Spanish neighbours had been burgled before they tried to burgle me and I had to go to the Guardia Civil to have a chat!.

 

Even though I told them both men were wearing balaclavas they made me try to identify the men from photos lol 

Edited August 3 by Golden Retriever

[Captainlove]

Sorry Bomb, but is this really todays news?

[Macnamara]

I just watched the documentary 'gringo' about john mcafee and in it the lady making the film interviews a few of johns old girlfriends from belize

 

Now bare in mind that John always said that the belize government was trying to set him up for a murder and that they were out to get him.....so anyway a local bar owner said that he had set john up with about 30-40 women in the time john was out there. The three women interviewed claimed that john would get them to sit in a hammock whilst he laid down underneath and they would then.........poop in his mouth

 

That can't be right can it? I almost couldn't believe my ears! Have they all been told to say that by the belize government to try and smear johns character? It's really hard to distinguish fact from fiction in that guys life. It's just all so crazy but it doesn't sound right that he would be fixed up with dozens of women only to have them crap on his face

Edited August 3 by Macnamara

[Nemuri Kyoshiro]

1 hour ago, Bombadil said:

I’ll start of with an occurrence or three.

 

Sat having a beer one evening after work in Italy. Out of nowhere a bald man wearing a leotard dashes past. Closely followed by a police officer. Workmates and myself laughing our backsides off when a naked Midget appears out of nowhere chasing after them.

 

Had been travelling through India for a few weeks. My friends and I arrived in a small  village a few miles from Chennai. 
We found a place to eat. Real spit and sawdust. The sort of place you would get cholera from  just walking near.

 Two of my mates wanted some meat type spicy thing . I decided to pass but went to use the thing  that was presumably a toilet. The toilet was basically a hole in the ground leading to lords knows what below. Whilst doing my business I heard a strange animal shuffling noise. Using a torch I shone it into the toilet hole. Where I counted at least two pigs.

I might have made the right choice not to eat the meat.

We were sat in a small restaurant in Khajuraho. Two little girls walked by and one decided to take a dump in the pigsty that was across the road. The pigs gobbled it up. On a boat trip on the Ganges at Varanasi, we were hit by the half-burned corpse of some poor sod who had been tossed in before the cremation was complete. On a trip to China in 1999, we stayed in a tiny village called Zhouzhang. Our guest house was allegedly haunted. The missus said loudly that she didn't believe in ghosts. A short while later, walking by the canal, something pushed her down some steps into the water. She was pushing back against some type of force that scared her half to death.

[Truthblast]

25 minutes ago, Macnamara said:

I just watched the documentary 'gringo' about john mcafee and in it the lady making the film interviews a few of johns old girlfriends from belize

 

Now bare in mind that John always said that the belize government was trying to set him up for a murder and that they were out to get him.....so anyway a local bar owner said that he had set john up with about 30-40 women in the time john was out there. The three women interviewed claimed that john would get them to sit in a hammock whilst he laid down underneath and they would then.........poop in his mouth

 

That can't be right can it? I almost couldn't believe my ears! Have they all been told to say that by the belize government to try and smear johns character? It's really hard to distinguish fact from fiction in that guys life. It's just all so crazy but it doesn't sound right that he would be fixed up with dozens of women only to have them crap on his face

 

John McAffee was suicided by Western Intelligence.

 

Any time they do this to someone, they always spread absolutely attrocious "the person was a real real weirdo" stories afterwards.

 

Read any of the news stories where an inventor or innovator died right before "making millions".

 

Always the same boilerplate story about a "paranoid recluse" with "odd habits" who "couldn't trust anyone" bla bla bla bla... and then had a heart attack and died.

 

Standard protocol - assassinate and smear to death afterwards.

 

I sincerely doubt that McAffee had any women "shit in his mouth".

 

The 3 ladies in question probably got USD 250K to 500K each for their 60 seconds on camera and never even knew McAffee.

 

McAffee had DIRT on powerful people in the Computing Industry and Finance Industry.

 

So now he is DEAD and a SHIT EATER...

 

[Bombadil]

1 hour ago, Captainlove said:

Sorry Bomb, but is this really todays news?

Just noticed where I posted it. What a twat

[Anti Facts Sir]

2 hours ago, TheConsultant said:

This is genuinely true...

I had access to a Paul Daniels magic set when I was a child, I was not able to read how the tricks were done so I would just play around with the wand and pretend to do magic, well, one day I was waving the wand as usual attempting to say abracadabra and made a ball disappear right in front of me. It fucking went away from my eyesight right in front of my eyes to the gasps of my previously amused parents. Absolutely swear that is true, cannot explain it at all. 

Now that's magic!

I liked this post, but not a lot.

[Macnamara]

8 hours ago, Truthblast said:

 

John McAffee was suicided by Western Intelligence.

 

Any time they do this to someone, they always spread absolutely attrocious "the person was a real real weirdo" stories afterwards.

 

Read any of the news stories where an inventor or innovator died right before "making millions".

 

Always the same boilerplate story about a "paranoid recluse" with "odd habits" who "couldn't trust anyone" bla bla bla bla... and then had a heart attack and died.

 

Standard protocol - assassinate and smear to death afterwards.

 

I sincerely doubt that McAffee had any women "shit in his mouth".

 

The 3 ladies in question probably got USD 250K to 500K each for their 60 seconds on camera and never even knew McAffee.

 

McAffee had DIRT on powerful people in the Computing Industry and Finance Industry.

 

So now he is DEAD and a SHIT EATER...

 

 

that is so true about how they character assassinate people so that no one then looks deeper into their suspicious death. They just reason ''well he was just a weirdo so its no surprise he died a weird death''

 

If some people were sitting around thinking up the most degrading thing they could think about to smear someone that is the kind of thing they would come up with....

 

However the female scientist he hired had a story about him too but i get the sense that she had an axe to grind. So much murky stuff there...

 

John threatened that if he died in prison a trigger would set off and all the info he held on powerful people would be released but it never happened

[Macnamara]

9 hours ago, Nemuri Kyoshiro said:

On a boat trip on the Ganges at Varanasi, we were hit by the half-burned corpse of some poor sod who had been tossed in before the cremation was complete.

 

I think there used to be turtles in the river that would eat the corpses and help dispose of them but the locals hunted them for food and their numbers have dwindled

 

The parsi (of which i believe freddie mercury was descended) used to place their dead out on platforms for the vultures to pick lean but the vultures have also dwindled in numbers

 

I went to a rat temple in india. That was pretty gross. Being a sacred space you have to take your shoes off so you are walking around with these rats running around your feet. They were everywhere. If there was a hole in the wall or a door there'd be a rat tail sticking out. I looked in a side room and there was a rat chomping on a dead pigeon but generally they were fed lots of grain and milk. The monkey temple was more atmospheric. I was picking my way around them cautiously eyeing their large teeth when i came across a still pool of water which i paused to look at when suddenly something stirred in the middle of the pool. I stood transfixed as this man slowly emerged up from under the water before walking up the steps and past me smiling serenly at me as he went. It was like he had just come out of a portal.

Edited August 4 by Macnamara

[Mitochondrial Eve]

This is a bit of a grim tale courtesy of my mum and stepfather who keep bees. Some of the finer points about beekeeping are fascinating, however I cannot personally answer questions as I don't do it myself - I can only relay things second hand.

 

One of their fellow beekeepers has had a terrible hive beset with very aggressive and bad tempered bees which impacts its productiveness. This hive was so bad that the bees would attack and sting to an inordinate level and it was becoming very difficult to manage. Apparently the temperament of the hive as a whole is dependent on the queen - if she is a wrong'un, the whole hive follows suit.

 

In these situations, the solution is for the queen to be despatched. But, not only that, enough of the worker bees need to see it happen so that they know she is dead and produce enough queen cells for a replacement. This process has to be turned around within about three days or you have to find alternative means of obtaining a new queen.

 

So a public execution has to take place! Unfortunately in the case of this hive, not enough bees were present as witnesses and insufficient new queen cells were made. I did wonder, in jest, if a full state funeral would solve the problem but unfortunately the queen's body was long gone.

 

 

Edited August 4 by Mitochondrial Eve

[alexa]

Fright night for one lady in waiting.

 

Why Elizabeth I  body lay in state at Richmond it was watched every night by ‘six several ladies’.

 

Elizabeth made it clear that she did not wish to be disembowelled following death (as would be customary). Yet shortly after the queen died, Rober Cecil left orders with the surgeons to do so, while he went to London to proclaim James VI the new King of England. And so the queen was embalmed and her body transferred to a lead-lined, wooden coffin.

 

During the period in question, Elizabeth Southwell (lady in waiting) reports how there was a loud ‘crack’ from the coffin as Elizabeth’s ‘body and head’ broke open from the pressures of gases released as the corpse rotted. While the force of the explosion splintered the ‘wood lead and cere cloth’, people speculated on how much worst might it have been if the body had not been opened and disembowelled after death!

 

It is interesting isn’t it, that the story of this event occurring after the end of Henry VIII is much repeated, and seen as a sign of his obesity and gluttony. But here we have the same thing happening with his daughter, who was not subject to such vices!

https://thetudortravelguide.com/2019/07/20/the-death-and-burial-of-elizabeth-i/

 

It makes you wonder, do these Royals actually shape-shift after death ?

 

[Macnamara]

3 hours ago, alexa said:

It makes you wonder, do these Royals actually shape-shift after death ?

 

The egyptians had a king making ritual where the new king would drink the fluid from the pineal of the old king and travel to the stars to be crowned by the celestial hierarchy

 

When their graves were exhumed some merovingean royals were found to have holes drilled in their skulls as if they had been trepanned

[Macnamara]

5 hours ago, Mitochondrial Eve said:

So a public execution has to take place!

 

sometimes the bees themselves will do this. The court bees will surround the queen so that she overheats and dies

 

meanwhile the male drone bees will be thrown out of the hive come winter time so that there are less mouths to feed

Edited August 4 by Macnamara

[Nemuri Kyoshiro]

12 hours ago, Macnamara said:

I think there used to be turtles in the river that would eat the corpses and help dispose of them but the locals hunted them for food and their numbers have dwindled

Ganges sharks too. The locals are terrified of them. They are actually Bull sharks that can live in fresh water for a time. India is a fascinating place, though I haven't been there for years. Stayed in a hotel in Jaipur that was once a Maharaja's palace, and speaking of royalty, we arrived in a small town called Chenderi where the Maharani and her kids and grandkids lived in a ramshackle old house that had once been quite posh. They were very hospitable people. In the days of the Raj, they had been quite something, and had attended the Great Durba for Edward VII.

[Macnamara]

19 minutes ago, Nemuri Kyoshiro said:

Stayed in a hotel in Jaipur that was once a Maharaja's palace,

 

the water palace? The waters had dried up a bit when i was there and you could walk out across the mudflats to the ghats where the women washed the clothes, water buffalos wallowing in the pools

 

19 minutes ago, Nemuri Kyoshiro said:

and speaking of royalty, we arrived in a small town called Chenderi where the Maharani and her kids and grandkids lived in a ramshackle old house that had once been quite posh. They were very hospitable people. In the days of the Raj, they had been quite something, and had attended the Great Durba for Edward VII.

 

the brits did leave some pretty nice colonial buildings but unfortunately they are often neglected because of their association with colonialism

[Nemuri Kyoshiro]

16 hours ago, Macnamara said:

the water palace? The waters had dried up a bit when i was there and you could walk out across the mudflats to the ghats where the women washed the clothes, water buffalos wallowing in the pools

Rambagh Palace Hotel. There weren't that many guests at the time. They had some Rajput puppeteers that came and put on a show for us, which was very good. The doorman was ancient with a magnificent moustache. He had served in Burma at the fag-end of the war and was a good bloke.

[Macnamara]

1 hour ago, Nemuri Kyoshiro said:

Rambagh Palace Hotel. There weren't that many guests at the time. They had some Rajput puppeteers that came and put on a show for us, which was very good. The doorman was ancient with a magnificent moustache. He had served in Burma at the fag-end of the war and was a good bloke.

 

speaking of rajputs i might as well mention the proud rajput clans custom when they were under siege from a large enemy force that was too great to defeat. Once their supplies had run out and they could no longer survive within their walls the male warriors would done saffron robes and mount their horses, the gates would be thrown open and they would charge their enemy and fight to the death rather than capitulate. The womanfolk meanwhile would commit sati by throwing themselves onto a giant pyre to self-immolate themselves in order to avoid being taken alive.

Edited August 5 by Macnamara