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Are There Any Good Conspiracy JOKES?


Truthblast

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  • 9 months later...

Q: Why did the Fluoride drinker stare at the orange juice?
A: Because it said "Concentrate"

 

Q: What would you do if a Fluoride drinker threw a hand grenade right at you?
A: You'd pull the pin and throw it back.


Q: How do you get a Fluoride drinker to stay in the shower all day?   
A: Lend them your bottle of Shampoo that says "lather, rinse, repeat".

 

Q: How do you keep a Fluoride drinker busy for hours?    
A: Write "Please turn over" on both sides of a piece of paper.

 

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2020-2021    You cannot see friends or family and you must maintain a two meter's distance between yourself and others at all times!

2022-               Please take in as many Ukrainians as you can! 🤔

 

My Neighbour Dave just died of covid, luckily he was fully jabbed or it could have been a lot worse!

 

I THINK I'VE GOT MONKEY POX

OH, WHAT SYMPTOMS HAVE YOU GOT?

NONE, LUCKILY I'M ACHIMPTOMATIC.

 

Say what you like about Vladimir Putin, at least he brought an end to the pandemic!🤭

 

It's all wrong about blacks and gays getting all the acting parts, my friend Steve is a white lad and a part time actor he gets lots of work in adverts and soaps, this year alone he's played a shoplifter, three different muggers, a villain in a police line up and a burglar in a burglar alarm advert!👍

 

There's a silent  K in the word MONKEYPOX!

BILL GATES 2022.

 

When I was a kid the local papers used to call their births, marriages, and deaths columns =HATCHED, MATCHED AND DISPATCHED! 

Now they're called= HATCHED, MATCHED AND BAD BATCHED!

 

 

 

Edited by Mr Crabtree
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An alcoholic, a pot head & a Fluoride drinker in a chatroom discussing life....
the alocholic says "I found a packet of ciggerettes  under my daughter's bed, I did not realise she smoked".
The pot head said "I found Bottle of vodka  under my daughter's bed, I did not know she drank".  
The Fluoride drinker said "that's nothing I found condoms  under my daughter's bed...I did not know she had a penis"

 

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A Fluoride drinker starts a new job in an office and could not help noticing the guy on the opposite desk pouring out coffee from a metal cylinder..
The Fluoride drinker lets curiosity get the better and asks "What is the metal cylinder for?"
The guy replies "It's a thermos flask. for keeping hot thing hot and cold things cold"
The next day, the guy on opposite desk noticies that the Fluoride drinker had a brand new flask on there desk so he asks "I see you got one also, what have you got in yours then?"
The Fluoride drinker replies "2 cups of coffee for the morning & 2 ice pops for the afternoon"

 

The Fluoride institute for Smartish Thinkers voted the Thermos flask as the most inteligent piece of technolgy in the world as it does not need programing to know to keep hot things hot and cold things cold

 

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It was Christmas Eve and Bill sat in his armchair listening to the carol singers outside his front door, when they'd finished he opened the door, gave them all a mince pie, and a twenty pound note each! The lady leading them 'oh thank you so much, are you sure though? It is rather a lot of money'? Bill replied 'it's my pleasure, fifty years I've been here and it's the first time ever I've had carol singers here at the lighthouse'!😪

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Have you heard about the new flatbread conspiracy theorists?

They're out to convince all naan believers

 

 

My brother hates candles and he thinks they were created as part of a government conspiracy

He's an anti-waxer 

 
What's the difference between a conspiracy theory and the truth?
 
Currently, about 6 months...
 
 

..

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Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on
their faces. The coroner calls the police to tell them what has happened.
"First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to
his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector", says the Coroner.
"Second body: "Scotsman, 25, won a 1000 Pounds on the lottery,
spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."
The Inspector asked, "What of the third body?"
"Ah," says the coroner, "this is the most unusual one.
Billy-Bob the flouride drinker from Birmingham, 30, struck by lightning."
"Why is he smiling then?" inquires the Inspector.
"Thought he was having his picture taken."

 

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 1/1/2023 at 10:36 PM, SkyBlueEyes said:

Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on
their faces. The coroner calls the police to tell them what has happened.
"First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to
his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector", says the Coroner.
"Second body: "Scotsman, 25, won a 1000 Pounds on the lottery,
spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."
The Inspector asked, "What of the third body?"
"Ah," says the coroner, "this is the most unusual one.
Billy-Bob the flouride drinker from Birmingham, 30, struck by lightning."
"Why is he smiling then?" inquires the Inspector.
"Thought he was having his picture taken."

 

I was actually a missionary in Brum for many years, until the bus fares went up ten Ruppee's over night! I still own a seafront apartment there, that I bought off David Icke many years ago! On a very, very clear day you can stand on the balcony and STILL not be able to see the Isle of Wight!

Edited by Mr Crabtree
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  • 7 months later...

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